Take A Little Trip
by KristenLynn
Summary: 3rd place GSC o/s, being continued. NOW COMPLETE. In high school, geeky Edward tutored popular Bella. It ended badly. Four years later, Edward reappears in one of grad student Bella's classes. Both have changed. A lot. Will it be enough? AU/AH,OOC
1. Take a Little Trip

**Geekward Shuffle Challenge**

**Pen Name:** KristenLynn

**Link to FFnet Profile:** www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2013360/KristenLynn

**Song Title: '**Low Rider' by War

**Story Title: **Take A Little Trip

**Rating: **M

**Disclaimer: **As always,Stephenie owns them. I'm just trying to make their situation a little more realistic…

**Summary:** O/S for Geekward Shuffle Challenge. When Bella's grades tumble due to her social life, geeky Edward is assigned as her tutor. Can Bella overlook her preconceived notions about social status, or will their differences be too wide to overcome? AU/AH,OOC.

**A/N:** OK… I wanted to try something a little different here, something a little more realistic. I hope that I captured the simultaneous simplicity yet complexity of the teenaged psyche. For a general idea of Edward's physical appearance in this story, think Robert Pattinson in "The Bad Mother's Handbook"…

***This is an entry for a contest!!** If you like it, please go and vote for me! Voting starts Jan 2. Here's the contest info page: www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2142840/Geekward_Shuffle_Challenge (Go to the C2 to find all entries.)

**2/6/10 edit:** A discussion thread has been started for _Take a Little Trip_ in the Twilighted Forum. Feel free to stop by with any questions, comments, suggestions... I'm in the AU-human section...

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Thanks to my betas: Jessica0306, laraisawkward, and Nowforruin

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*** * * * * Take A Little Trip * * * * ***

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**~ October ~**

"Miss Swan?"

Mr. Varner's voice interrupted my conversation with Jessica and Lauren. I turned, raising my eyebrows haughtily in question. He looked apprehensive about talking to me, as he should have. No one—not even teachers—fucked with Bella Swan. I was a force to be reckoned with, and everybody fucking knew it. I _was_ the shit—head cheerleader, leader of the proverbial pack. I was the most popular girl in school, not to mention the biggest bitch. Everybody deferred to me. Everybody worshipped me. And I fucking loved that shit.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" he asked anxiously.

I had a good idea what was coming next; failing the last two trig quizzes did not bode well for me. But I could not be bothered with mundane tasks, like fucking high school math, when life-altering events such as Homecoming were hovering on the horizon. I was the chair of the Homecoming decoration committee, and we had our work cut out for us if we wanted to turn the high school gym into something special.

Jess and Lauren rolled their eyes at me and giggled on their way out the door, continuing the conversation without me. I watched longingly as they passed out of my sight. I did not want to be left out of that particular conversation. Hell…I was in charge of that shit.

"What?" I snapped at the quivering excuse for a math teacher. My eyes narrowed and my foot tapped in annoyance.

"Miss Swan? You know why I want to talk to you, don't you?"

Of course I did. I rolled my eyes at his rhetorical fucking question and continued tapping my foot.

"Your grades haven't improved in the past few weeks. You've failed the last two quizzes, and your homework has been, well… incomplete, at best. I have no choice now but to inform your parents..."

_Fuck._ I didn't want to involve my parents, but at least they would likely only verbally admonish me; they didn't really give a shit what I did. I frowned and sent Mr. Varner my usually-effective evil eye, but nodded my head stiffly in understanding.

I figured that the conversation was over, so I turned to leave. I was sorely mistaken.

"Miss Swan?" Mr. Varner called me to attention again.

I turned back with an aggravated sigh and another eye-roll. "What?"

"I've asked one of my advanced students to tutor you until your grades improve," he admitted sheepishly.

My jaw dropped in shocked surprise, then snapped shut angrily. My eyes narrowed as I silently fumed.

"Who?" I demanded furiously.

"Edward Cullen," he squeaked out.

I didn't recognize the name. "Who the hell is Edward Cullen?"

"Edward is a new student this year. You haven't met him yet?"

"If I had met him, would I fucking ask who he was?"

Mr. Varner's eyes pinched at my use of profanity, but he didn't say a word about it. No one ever did. I did mention that no one fucked with Bella Swan, right?

When it appeared that Mr. Varner was not going to add anything else to this pointless fucking conversation, I turned to exit the classroom. Once again, I was mistaken.

"Miss Swan…"

His hesitant voice was really starting to grate on my fucking nerves. I paused, took a deep breath, and squeezed my eyes shut before turning back around.

"Yes?" I asked harshly.

"You'll need this," he replied.

I opened my eyes to see him holding out a slip of paper. That piece of paper was vibrating wildly; his hand was shaking. I smirked. Yeah… Bella Swan was a fucking bad-ass.

"What the fuck is that?" I asked in my iciest tone.

His eyes pinched once more at my persistent use of profanity, but again he said nothing. Instead, he answered, "It's Edward's phone number. He's expecting your call." He took a deep breath and added in a rush, "I expect you to arrange your first meeting later this week. Your grades need to turn around quickly if you expect to pass my class."

My jaw dropped again. I snatched the offending slip of paper from his trembling fingers and stormed out of the classroom before he could drop any more fucking bombshells on me.

I found it impossible to focus in my remaining classes. For the first time in weeks, it wasn't because I was worrying about Homecoming. No, I was pissed at Mr. Varner for throwing this fucking monkey-wrench into my day. I was actually concerned about academics right now, as well as what my parents would say to me when I got home. I groaned at that thought.

Jess and Lauren noticed my distraction at lunch. I was studying all of the students in the cafeteria that I didn't know by name. There were quite a few; I didn't bother with making the acquaintance of anyone who wouldn't increase my social standing. I was intently studying two unfamiliar faces at a table across the room—both wore glasses, but one was tall and lanky while the other was short and squat—and I was trying to decide which of those two losers might possibly be Edward Cullen when I heard Jessica snicker at me.

"Why are you staring at the nerds like that, Bella? See something you like?" She snorted.

I tore my eyes away from the table of geeks to nail Jessica with an icy look. She immediately stopped laughing.

"Just kidding," she quickly retreated. I continued to stare scathingly at her.

Lauren attempted to break the tension by asking, "So, Bella, what did Mr. Varner want earlier?"

"It seems as if my fucking grades are no longer satisfactory. Mr. Varner has assigned me a tutor…" I let the sentence trail off. But then I asked, "Do either of you know Edward Cullen?"

Lauren snickered. "I haven't met him, but Bella, you know his younger sister."

I looked at her questioningly.

"Does the name Alice Cullen ring a bell?" she asked.

It didn't. I continued to look at her questioningly.

Lauren rolled her eyes at me. "You know, _Alice_…" She emphasized the name. "The chunky little sophomore who tried out for the J.V. squad? Twice. The one who tried _so_ fucking hard?" She snickered again.

_Oh, yes_. Alice Cullen was a bundle of energy who desperately wanted to be a cheerleader. Too bad she was packing close to one hundred and fifty pounds on her sub-five-foot frame… The memory of Alice caused me to settle on the short and squat nerd at the table across the room as my likely tutor.

Somehow, I managed to make it through the rest of the day. The two hours spent in cheerleading practice helped take my mind off my troubles for a while, as did the meeting with the Homecoming decorating committee; we were discussing last minute details and would start actually decorating tomorrow afternoon.

By the time I got home, I had completely forgotten about my meeting with Mr. Varner. I was quickly reminded when I walked in the door of our house to find my father sitting in his favorite recliner with his arms crossed. The TV was turned off, which was a bad sign. My mother was nowhere to be found, not that that was anything new.

Caught off guard, I snapped, "Yes?"

"Bella, Mr. Varner called today to inform us of your poor performance in math class."

I knew this, so I just stared at him.

"What are you planning to do to fix this?" he asked.

"I've been assigned a tutor," I stated simply.

Charlie just nodded his head, then turned away from me and reached for the TV remote. When he turned the unit on, I deduced the conversation was over.

Following my _discussion_ with my father, I wandered upstairs to my bedroom suite. Needing to relax, I padded into my luxurious bathroom and drew a bath. As water filled the marble tub, I looked around my room in appreciation. I had it really fucking good. We lived in the nicest house in town, and I possessed every conceivable luxury available. All thanks to Renee and her stupid fucking romance novels. Who knew that that shit would make so much money? Not that I read any of her stuff; I was scared that she used events from real life in her smutty little books, and I had no desire to learn the intimate fucking details of my parent's sex life.

I sighed as I sank into the bubble-filled tub. But my relief was short-lived as thoughts of the day ate away at me. I sighed again a few minutes later and pulled myself from the warm water. I studied my naked form in the mirror as I toweled off and smiled at my nearly flawless reflection: long, lean limbs; pert breasts with dusky, perfectly-placed nipples; attractive facial features; and gloriously long, mahogany hair. My eyes pinched when they encountered the small scar on my abdomen from my appendectomy. That physical blemish reminded me that I was not perfect. I turned away from the damning mirror and stomped into my room to retrieve the piece of paper that was yet another reflection of my fucking non-perfection.

After dialing the digits, I tapped my foot impatiently while the phone rang.

"Hello?"

The voice was not what I expected. It was richly melodic, low-pitched and velvet-smooth; it washed over me like the water from my recent bath—a warm, relaxing caress that touched every inch of me. Chill bumps arose on my naked, and still-damp, skin. I was rendered momentarily speechless by the sensuality that exuded from that voice.

_Holy shit._ _Nerds shouldn't sound that… sexy… should they?_

"Hello?" the voice asked again, this time impatiently.

"Um…yeah… Is this Edward Cullen?" I finally managed to stammer.

"Yes," he answered in a now-amused tone.

I was still speechless. After a moment of silence, I heard a small chuckle.

"Since I don't recognize this number, and I don't give mine out to very many people, I'm assuming that this is the illustrious Isabella Swan?"

The way my name rolled off his tongue caused me to shiver, and my nipples hardened to match the goose bumps that covered the rest of my body. No one ever called me Isabella—I insisted on Bella—but for some reason, I liked the way he said my given name.

"Um… Yes…"

He chuckled again at my hesitant answer. This time, the sound spurred me into angry action. I wrapped my towel tightly around my torso and sat down at my desk. When I spoke again, my voice was all business.

"So, Edward, Mr. Varner wants you to work with me on math."

"Yes. That is my understanding," the silky-smooth voice drawled.

The condescension underlying his words was evident, and I fumed silently. Before I was even aware of it, I was defending myself to this fucking nobody.

"Just so you know, I am not some dumb cheerleader who can't do math. Well, I _am_ a cheerleader, but I'm not fucking stupid. I've just been… _distracted_… lately."

He had the nerve to chuckle again. "That's good to know, Isabella. I'm sure that we'll be able to get your studies straightened away quickly, then."

"The sooner the better," I stated vehemently. The sooner we started, the sooner we'd be finished. I wanted to be finished with this as soon as fucking possible.

We talked for a few minutes, hashing out a schedule for my tutoring sessions. Between my cheerleading and his band practices, afternoons were out. I wasn't comfortable having him come to my house, so we agreed to meet at school in the mornings. Our first session would be tomorrow.

Arriving early the following morning, I parked my silver Volvo C70 convertible—a sixteenth birthday present from my parents—and waited for Edward Cullen. A car said a lot about the person who drove it. I drove the nicest car at school, as was fitting for my social standing and my family's financial status. I was quite curious about what kind of car Edward drove.

Five minutes later, I knew. He drove a classic cliché: a dark blue, late-80's model Camaro, complete with tinted windows and fucking T-tops. I snorted in derision. His radio was blaring. Again, it was fitting: a late-80's tune that I recognized, but whose name I couldn't remember. The driver's side door opened and Edward unfolded himself from the car. Luckily, he was not the short, squat nerd from lunch yesterday; rather he was the tall and lanky guy from the same table. Today, he wore an ill-fitting button down shirt, which was tucked into tight jeans that were a bit too short. Loafers, without socks, rounded out his outfit. I cringed at the awfulness of it. His unruly mop of overly-long auburn hair fell into his eyes, but at least it partially hid his hideous black-rimmed glasses.

In spite of his awkward appearance, I was unable to deny the grace with which he carried himself. He sauntered across the lot to my car and bent down to peer in the window at me. I frowned at him, then sighed in resignation and opened my door. Better to get this shit done as quickly as possible. We walked into the school in silence.

Surprisingly, the next hour passed quickly. Despite his condescending tone on the phone, Edward was incredibly patient when it came to explaining math. He was in no way patronizing, even when I became completely preoccupied with the way his long, tapered, and incredibly sensual fingers—_where the hell did that thought come from_—twisted around his pencil.

"Isabella? Distracted again?"

His smirk was tempered by his gentle tone when he spoke to regain my attention. My eyes snapped to his, and I couldn't prevent the incriminating blush that tinged my cheeks in response to his voice speaking my name. I shook my head and we got back to work.

All in all, it was a highly successful hour. I think I learned more in those few minutes with Edward on that Wednesday morning than I had in the entire semester thus far with Mr. Varner.

* * * * *

Friday evening found me cheering at the Homecoming football game.

Midway through the third quarter, the band played a familiar tune—the one that had been blaring from Edward's car stereo on Wednesday morning. The name of the song finally popped into my head: "Low Rider" by War. A smile touched my lips. Yes, that song was completely fitting, especially considering Edward's low-slung vehicle. And at that exact moment, in a move that complemented my thoughts, Edward stood to play the trumpet solo in the song. I was entranced by the way his fingers moved confidently across his instrument. So much so, I missed my cue for the next cheer. Jess and Lauren snickered. I forcefully returned my attention to the task at hand.

Later that night, Jessica called me on my slip. Of course, she had to pull that shit while we were seated at the dance with Mike, Tyler, and Eric. Mike had his arm around my shoulder and was nuzzling my neck when Jess slyly asked her question.

"So, Bella… What was up with you tonight? You seemed more interested in watching the band than the game. I can't believe you missed that cheer."

I cringed in response to her question, and Mike stiffened immediately.

"What the fuck, Bella? You were watching the fucking band instead of your incredibly talented boyfriend?" The sad thing was that he was deadly serious about the 'incredibly talented' part.

"Thanks, Jess," I hissed in her direction. Then I turned to Mike and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry, baby. I saw each of your four touchdown passes and your touchdown run. You were fucking awesome tonight. I bet the scouts were really impressed with your performance."

All anyone had to do to distract Mike these days was mention the fucking college football scouts. He was completely focused on getting a football scholarship so that he could get the hell out of Forks next year. My detailed recollection of Mike's accomplishments during the game spurred a heated discussion of football in general and Forks High School football in specific. More accurately, the possibility of the team making it to the state championship next month.

I quickly forgot about the fucking band and Edward Cullen.

**~ December ~**

Time had flown by. Before I was ready for it, the holidays were right around the corner and I was finishing my final assignments of the semester and cramming for finals. I still studied with Edward twice a week; following that first session, we had settled on a schedule of Tuesday and Thursday mornings. Due to Edward's teaching skills, I had caught up in my math class within a matter of weeks. In fact, since he had started tutoring me, my grades had greatly improved in all of my classes. I had always been a reasonable student, but for the past six weeks, I had been riding a low "A" average. Mr. Varner seemed incredibly fucking pleased with my turn-around in trigonometry—I had aced each and every one of his tests and quizzes since I started studying with Edward.

Surprisingly, over time, I found myself enjoying the time Edward and I spent together rather than looking at it as a forced sentence. And though I suspected that I didn't really need Edward's help anymore, I was reluctant to alter our arrangement. For some reason, I felt dependent upon him. I also enjoyed the fact that my teachers now seemed to respect me for my brains instead of just my hard-nosed, bad-ass attitude. Edward never mentioned anything about how our sessions had changed, but even he had to realize that they had somehow morphed into a study partnership; I quizzed him as often as he quizzed me now.

It was Thursday morning, the last week before finals started. Edward and I were reviewing each other's final English assignments: Shakespearean sonnets written in iambic pentameter. I was frowning at Edward's poem; it just didn't feel right, and there was an issue with one of the lines—it was missing a beat. I looked up to find him staring at me with a questioning frown.

"What?" I asked defensively.

"Did you write this?" he asked, a strange tone to his voice.

"Of course," I snapped. Then my voice became concerned. "Why? Is it bad?"

I reached out to take my paper from Edward's hand, but he pulled it back before I could grab it. Placing it on the table, he ran his hand across the page in a reverent manner.

"No, Isabella," he said in a quiet voice. "It's not bad at all. In fact, this is one of the most intense pieces of poetry I have read. Your descriptions are visceral, gripping…" His voice trailed off, and his hand brushed the page again, almost as if he was caressing my words.

Although I would never admit it, I fucking loved English class, particularly classic literature. I was a closet Austen and Bronte fan. But I especially loved Shakespeare, the tormented characters that he created and the pictures that he painted with his highly descriptive words. I had taken this assignment quite seriously, wanting to capture the true essence of the Shakespearean sonnet. I had written about unrequited love. Not that I really knew what that felt like, but I had closed my eyes and imagined. I had a vivid fucking imagination.

Even though I appreciated Edward's praise, surprisingly, I was not comfortable with it. So I deferred the attention by raising my questions about _his_ poem. As soon as I mentioned my concerns, he snatched the paper out of my hand and re-read his own work. He plunged a hand into his messy hair and furrowed his brow as he worked his way through the troubled section. Eventually he huffed in frustration and dropped the paper onto the table next to mine. He raised his eyes to me with a pained expression.

"How can I fix it?"

I had the strange feeling that Edward had never asked for help from anyone before. That it was me that he turned to for help made me smile.

**~ February ~**

More time had passed, and our morning study routine was now something upon which Edward and I both seemed to rely. Which was why, on that particular Thursday morning, I was pacing nervously in my bedroom. We had been out of school all week after a blizzard had dumped two feet of snow the previous weekend, cutting electricity and blocking every major roadway. Life in Forks had been put on hold.

I usually loved the snow and relished missed school days. But for some reason, absence from school at this particular juncture made me feel really fucking unsettled. I had talked to Jess, Lauren, and Mike every day on the phone, but I still felt as if something was missing. When I had awoken at five o'clock that morning, it finally dawned on me what that something was: my morning session with Edward. I frowned as the realization sank in. When had Edward become that fucking important to me? When had he surpassed my friends and my boyfriend to become the one person to whom I _needed_ to talk?

Despite the fact that we didn't acknowledge one another outside of our study sessions, we had become increasingly personal in our topics of conversation over the past few months. Everything had changed the day that he had asked me for help with his sonnet. It had taken me about three seconds to suggest the changes that improved his poem, and he had been surprised, then impressed, by my corrections. The next week, he had thanked me for my help, and then asked about my plans for the holidays. That first personal conversation had opened the floodgates for both of us.

I hadn't realized how much I _didn't_ tell my friends until I started talking to Edward. In a weird way, it was easier to talk to him about difficult topics, maybe because we were _not_ really friends. I bitched about my superficial friends and about how I wanted more out of life than anyone expected of me; college—most likely a degree in English literature—maybe even grad school. In turn, he talked about how difficult the move to Forks had been for him, how his younger sister drove him nuts, and how he, too, felt that he lacked depth in his personal friendships.

Just last week, I had complained about Mike and how he cared more about football than me. That had spurred an interesting, yet disquieting, conversation.

"_Why are you with him, then?" Edward asked, a confused look on his face._

"_Everyone expects us to be together." I shrugged. "You know, the cheerleader and the captain of the football team…" My voice trailed off. It wasn't really an answer, but it was the only one I had. __**I**__ didn't really know why I was with Mike. _

_He frowned. "That's not a good reason, Isabella."_

_He still insisted upon using my given name, and I still liked the way it sounded when it rolled off his tongue._

"_I know," I stated with another small shrug. "But it's the only reason I've got right now."_

_None of my other friends had asked that particular question during the two years that Mike and I had been dating. Yet, somehow in less than five minutes, Edward managed to get to the heart of the matter. It made me quite uncomfortable. So I turned the question around on him._

"_What about you? Any girlfriends?"_

_This time he just shrugged at me. "Nah."  
_

_I frowned. "Why not?" I was genuinely curious. He really was a nice guy._

_An odd expression was on his face. "Look at me, Isabella."_

_I was looking, and I didn't know what he meant. I continued to stare into his eyes, which I noticed—for the first time—were the most startling shade of green. I frowned when I realized the beauty that his horrendous glasses were hiding. Involuntarily, I reached out to remove them. His hand fluttered to mine and defensively retrieved the glasses. He looked flustered as he shoved them back onto his nose._

"_Have you ever considered wearing contacts?" I blurted out._

"_No. Why?" he asked warily._

"_Your eyes… they're quite striking. I don't think I've ever seen any so green before," I mused, more to myself than to him. But his cheeks flushed nonetheless. His eyes really were beautiful. Too bad he hid them behind those awful glasses._

_Edward looked away from me and in a somewhat bitter voice, stated, "What you see is what you get, Bella."_

_I didn't like the way my shortened moniker sounded coming from him. I immediately corrected him._

"_Isabella."_

"_What?" he asked, confused._

_I looked down and quietly admitted, "I like it when you call me Isabella."_

_I heard the smile in his voice when he corrected himself. "Isabella…"_

_I closed my eyes and sighed at the feeling of contentment that I derived from the now-familiar sound of my name delivered in his melodic, velvet voice. _

"_Much better." But then I opened my eyes to look questioningly at him. "You never answered my initial question."_

_His smile faded. "Look at me, Isabella," he commanded once again._

_This time, I took a mental step back and really studied his appearance. I was startled to realize that in the past four months, I had somehow learned to overlook the ill-fitting clothes and out-of-date styles. Yes, they really were atrocious, but the heart of the young man sitting in front of me had overwhelmed those negative attributes in my mind for so long that I had forgotten about them. I frowned. It was what was inside that mattered, right?_

_But his next comment snapped me back to reality._

"_This is what I am. I won't change that for anyone. I need to be accepted for me." He looked accusingly at me and asked in an angry voice, "Could __**you**__ accept someone as your boyfriend who looked like this?" His hand moved to encompass his outward appearance._

_I cringed at the thought. I didn't mean to, and I thought that I had covered it quickly enough, but his small, sad smile told me that he registered that shit. I was disappointed. Disappointed in myself. Disappointed that I was as superficial as the friends about whom I complained._

"_That's what I thought," he stated in quietly accepting voice._

We hadn't spoken since.

Now I was pacing, desperately needing to reconnect with the friend that I hadn't even realized I missed. I halted on my next pass across my room when I glanced at my desk and saw a square of paper peeking out from under a stack of books. I reached tentatively for that small scrap and felt my heart begin to race when I registered that it was the note from Mr. Varner. Edward's cell phone number.

I looked to the clock on my nightstand. It was six-thirty. On any other Thursday morning, Edward and I would have been studying for thirty minutes by now. Taking a chance that he would be up, I grabbed my phone and quickly dialed the number before I could change my mind. I felt my anxiety disappear when he answered the phone on the second ring, almost as if he was expecting my call.

"Good morning, Isabella."

It was the same greeting that he used every morning when we studied together, part of our early morning routine. I sighed in contentment.

**~ March ~**

The first week in March brought the final basketball game of the season. I was cheering, and when Edward stood to play the trumpet solo in what I now referred to as 'his' song, I couldn't help but watch him. Even though it was just the pep band playing a recognizable tune, I was still impressed with his musical acuity; he somehow turned a cheesy band solo into something special. Once again, I missed a cheer, causing my friends to laugh at me. I hated that shit.

And again, Jessica didn't let my slip slide. She pounced after the game.

"So, Bella… Still stuck on Edward Cullen, huh?" she asked slyly.

"What?" I asked. Then I registered the look on her face. "NO!"

Lauren chimed in. "Oh c'mon, Bella. You missed a cheer. _Again_. The only time you've ever missed a cheer was the last time that Edward played his stupid little solo. You sure you don't have something else going on with him besides studying?"

This line of questioning made me uncomfortable. Maybe because in my heart, I _knew_ that more than just studying was going on during our early morning sessions. I wasn't cheating on Mike, but the time I spent with Edward was more important to me than I wanted to admit. For some reason it bothered me that my friends might pick up on that.

So, I vehemently denied her accusation.

"Hell, no!"

Mike looked at me with a speculative frown. As his eyes flickered to the hallway behind me, his frown morphed into an evil smirk. He reached out to trace my cheek with a finger while speaking loudly.

"Yeah, baby. Should I be worried about all the time you spend with that geek in the mornings? You're not paying him in trade, are you? Not that I'm concerned, really. I mean, what does he have that I don't?" His hand gestured to encompass his physique.

Appalled and insulted by Mike's suggestion, I denied the question for the third time. "Jesus, Mike! What the fuck are you guys going on about? Edward is my tutor. That's all. Why the hell would I have any interest in someone like him?"

Mike's satisfied snicker haunted me just like the crowing rooster must have haunted Peter in the recollection of Christ's last night in the Bible. As soon as that sadistic sound grated across my skin, I knew that I had fucked up. Badly. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end, and when I slowly turned around, I was unsurprised to find Edward standing in the hall behind me. The look on his face assured me that he had heard what I just said.

Once again I was disappointed; disappointed in myself for falling into the trap that my so-called friends had set for me. In the process, I had hurt the one person who had never disappointed me.

* * * * *

The following Tuesday morning, I slunk remorsefully into our deserted classroom. I was quite relieved to find Edward sitting stiffly in his usual chair. But relief changed to chagrin when he stiffened even further as I took my usual spot on his right. He did not greet me.

"I'm sorry," I said sadly.

He just nodded, and we got to work. But he didn't relax, and the atmosphere between us was stilted in a way that it had never been before. After a few minutes, I heard him sigh. When I looked up, he was studying me intently.

"Why do you let him treat you like that?" he asked quietly.

I knew what he was asking, and my back straightened defensively. I had wondered the same thing frequently over the past few days. I had come to the realization that in the past few months I had softened somehow. I had forgotten that no one fucked with Isabella Swan. Mike's offensive insinuations on Friday night had been more than just a slap to the face. They had been an insult to my entire character. Not to mention Edward's character.

When I finally answered, my words were harsh, determined. "I don't. Not anymore."

He looked confused.

"I broke up with Mike over the weekend," I clarified.

Understanding washed across his face, and his stance relaxed slightly. We didn't discuss it any further.

Slowly over time, we reestablished our tenuous friendship. But it was never quite the same as before, and I always knew it.

**~ April ~**

I had never dreaded spring break the way I did this year. After I broke up with Mike, Jess and Lauren began avoiding me, claiming that I was crazy. I had been uninvited from our long-planned spring break trip to Los Angeles to visit Lauren's cousin. They had left on Saturday morning without me.

It was the middle of the week, and I was home with nothing to do. Charlie was at work, and Renee was at the library 'researching' her next novel. I was once again pacing my bedroom, full of nervous energy. Just like the last time, my eyes fell on the scrap of paper that remained on my desk. I snatched it up and stared at the digits penned there. But this time, I didn't place a call. Instead, I performed a white pages search.

The Cullens' address popped up on my screen a few seconds later. I was surprised that they lived in our neighborhood—the way that Edward dressed, I hadn't figured his family to be very well-off. I was also relieved; it made my idea much easier to implement. I quickly donned a pair of jeans and an over-sized, zip-up hoodie. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail, and before I could consider my actions, I darted out of our house and through the neighbor's yard.

I emerged one street over and began walking towards the Cullens' house. It was a large, two-story contemporary structure four doors down on the left. I approached the house uncertainly, realizing that I had no idea what to say. Or if anyone was even home. Edward's family wasn't traveling over spring break, but I hadn't asked what his plans were. As I stood…_conflicted_…on the front porch, I heard piano music playing inside the house. I smiled and reached out to knock.

The door opened a moment later, the music amplified in the open foyer. I was briefly lost in the beauty of the music and didn't register the small woman who was standing there, looking at me curiously.

"Can I help you?" she finally asked.

The question snapped me back to reality. I wondered if Edward's mother would even know who I was. Since I had not told my parents any specifics, I assumed that he would behave the same.

"Um… Hi…Yeah…"

_This wasn't going well_. I groaned, then took a deep breath and started over.

"I'm Isabella Swan." I used my given name, just like Edward did. When that didn't seem to spark any recognition, I continued, "Edward has been tutoring me…"

Realization dawned in her eyes, and she nodded in welcome. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Isabella. Come in, honey. Edward is practicing right now, but I'm sure he won't mind…" Her voice trailed off as she gestured across the foyer at a closed door.

Though I crossed the foyer quickly, I was hesitant to enter. However, the draw to see him was too powerful. After taking a deep breath, I silently pushed the door open and stepped into the room. I remained in the doorway, not wanting to disturb Edward. The music was hauntingly beautiful, and he transitioned seamlessly from one piece to another. Some I recognized, others I didn't. I have no idea how long I stood there in awe, but eventually the music faded.

Without turning, he addressed me. "Hello, Isabella."

I found it strangely reassuring that Edward was as aware of me as I was of him.

"Hi," I responded quietly.

Without turning, he patted the bench, inviting me to sit next to him. I crossed the room slowly and lowered myself to the seat. He once again began coaxing music from the instrument. I was entranced by the way his elegant fingers danced across the ivory keys. Sitting next to Edward, swaying slightly with his body, and listening to his beautiful music was one of the most sensual experiences of my life. When he finally stopped again, I turned to him.

"I don't recognize that last piece you were playing."

I might have been mistaken, but it appeared as if his cheeks flushed slightly. He ducked his head and admitted, "It's just something I'm working on for my composition class."

"Oh," I replied. "Well, it's beautiful. What is it?"

This time I did not mistake the flush that colored his cheeks. I assumed it was in response to my praise.

"I guess it's a lullaby, of sorts…"

Edward played the piece again, this time changing it slightly. I just stared at his hands, imagining what it would feel like to have them touching me so reverently. My breath caught at the thought, and the air suddenly felt thick. As if sensing my mood, Edward changed the tempo of the music, and what had previously been sweetly up-beat morphed into something sensual. Without conscious thought, my hand reached out to brush against his. They crashed to the keys in a cacophony of startled sound.

"Isabella…" His voice was rough, full with desire.

I looked back up to find him staring intently at me. Sitting this close, I could see each fleck of color in his emerald irises. My tongue darted out to run across my lower lip. His eyes followed that small motion and I saw their color begin to darken, turning dark jade. He lifted one of his hands to brush a finger across my lower lip. My breath caught again.

"I'm going to kiss you now…" His statement was questioning; he was giving me the opportunity to stop him. But I couldn't. And even if I could, I didn't want to. I nodded and reached up to remove his glasses. This time, he didn't try to stop me.

Suddenly, our mouths were crushed together. I didn't know who made the first move. All I knew was that his lips were pressed firmly against mine and his hand was in my hair, holding my head steady. I dropped his glasses on the piano and lifted my own hands to funnel through his hair. It was soft and silky, and it slid through my fingers easily, which surprised me considering that it always looked like a total mess. I opened my mouth and tentatively touched my tongue to his bottom lip. He groaned and plunged his tongue into my mouth. I moaned in response.

Somehow, while we were kissing, Edward twisted me around so that I was straddling his lap. The new position allowed deeper tongue penetration and better alignment of our bodies. I shifted my hips in an attempt to get closer and gasped when the evidence of his arousal pressed hotly against the juncture of my thighs. I sucked his tongue deeper into my mouth and tilted my hips into his again, searching for the friction that my body so desperately desired. His guttural groan spurred me on, and I found myself grinding roughly against him, tugging on his hair, and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

In mere seconds, my body was on fire, the tell-tale tingles building low in my abdomen. I was panting raggedly. I had never reached the point of release this quickly before, especially not with all my clothes still on.

"_Edwaaard_…" I drew his name out in a strained voice. "I think… _Ungh_… Yes… I'm gonna—"

He cut me off. "Look at me, Isabella."

My eyes snapped open and my lower body throbbed when he spoke my name. As soon as our eyes met, my body shattered in an explosion of sensation. I gripped his hair tightly as I pressed my hips into his. A strangled curse escaped my lips before I could contain it.

"Oh, God… Fuck!"

He grunted in response, and his hands tightened on my hips. Several thrusting motions and one more guttural groan later, he tensed against me.

We continued to stare at each other as our bodies came down. After a few moments, I released his hair from my death-grip, and he shifted my hips off his lap and back to the piano bench. He retrieved his glasses and replaced them on his nose. I didn't really know what to say, so I sat silently. Eventually, he broke the silence.

"Well… _That_ was interesting."

The absurdity of the statement in the face of what had just occurred caused me to laugh. He joined in, and suddenly everything was okay again. We sat for a few minutes and then I stood, stretching lightly. He stood as well, a small grimace ghosting across his lips. I chuckled, and his lips twitched into a reluctant smile in response.

"I'll walk you out," he stated.

At the front door I turned to him. "See you on Tuesday?"

His eyes twinkled. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

I was half-way down the driveway when Edward's voice halted me one final time.

"Isabella?"

I turned to look at him with a questioning quirk of my eyebrows.

"I practice every afternoon between three and five o'clock. Feel free to come anytime you like."

He smiled wickedly and winked at me. My cheeks flushed brightly before I could turn away. His laughter chased me all the way home.

**~ July ~**

I had been living in a cocoon for the past three months, spending as much time as possible with Edward, messing around with him at every opportunity. Secretly, of course—I couldn't have any of my friends discover our… _relationship_… if that is what it could be called. But his hands _were_ magical, and I couldn't resist the way they played my body like a well-loved instrument. I was flirting with danger, straddling two completely separate worlds, and I knew it was only a matter of time before something happened to burst my proverbial bubble.

Catastrophe struck on July 14th.

I was at the movies with Jessica when we ran into Alice. I had been spending an increasing amount of time at their house, and it was only natural that she would make reference to that fact. Unfortunately, she happened to mention that shit in front of Jessica, and I had to cut her off harshly. Immediately, I wanted to apologize, but I couldn't with Jess standing there, watching me like a hawk. So I coldly left Alice standing in the lobby with tear-filled eyes.

When my phone rang later that night, I was surprised—and pleased—to see Edward's number. In all of our time together, he had never once called me. But my pleasure was short-lived when his angry voice called me out.

"What the hell, Bella? Why did you do that to Alice? You know she idolizes you. Or she used to…" His voice trailed off, and I was stunned into silence. Edward had never talked to me like this before.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I apologized. "She just caught me off guard today, and I wasn't ready to deal with this in front of Jessica."

"I'm beginning to think that you'll never be ready to _deal with this._" He sighed. "I've been patient. I haven't pushed you at all because I know this is hard for you. But that is no excuse for how you humiliated Alice today. She deserves better than that."

He paused, and then quietly added, "And so do I."

I whimpered at his words, because I knew he was right. I wasn't being fair to him. I was getting everything that I wanted from our time together, but I had no clue what he wanted from me. My silence said more than any words ever could.

After another sigh, Edward's quietly resolute voice stated, "I don't think we should spend any more time together until you figure out what you want."

I managed to squeak out an affirmative sound.

"Goodbye, Isabella," Edward whispered.

The phone went dead.

**~ August ~**

The first day of senior year found me waiting in the parking lot at six o'clock. It was Tuesday, and I hoped that Edward would remember our arrangement from the previous year. I had spent the last month considering all of my options. I had quickly come to the conclusion that I _missed_ Edward and cared more about him than any other person in my life. But it had taken quite a bit longer for me to decide that I could overlook what anyone else thought about it. I could have called him and told him what I was thinking at any time, but I needed to come to that decision on my own, without his influence.

Today, I was finally ready.

I was disappointed when he did not arrive early, but I spent the next hour planning what I would say when I finally saw him again. I smiled when "Low Rider" came on the radio. I felt as if it was a sign. Especially since Edward's low-riding car had just pulled into the parking lot.

I turned off my car, grabbed my bag, and began walking in his direction, whistling the upbeat tune. My heart jumped in my chest when he unfolded himself from his car. He had cut his hair since I had seen him last; it was now only slightly mussed, and it looked really nice. His clothes were the same as always, but I ignored that and instead focused on his smiling face.

I hadn't been paying attention to anything other than his physical appearance as I crossed the lot, so I was startled to realize that he had walked to the passenger side and opened the door. My feet halted, and everything moved in slow-motion as he reached down to help someone from the car. My heart stopped when a mildly-attractive brunette got out and kissed him on the cheek. They clasped hands and turned to head into the school.

When I entered my first period English class, I was immediately confronted with Edward Cullen. I paused by his desk on my way across the room.

"Hey," I greeted him.

He looked warily at me, but returned my greeting nonetheless. "Hey."

"So… You and Angela, huh?" I couldn't help but ask.

He looked away. "You saw that?"

"Yeah…"

An awkward silence fell, and I felt compelled to say something.

"She's a lucky girl."

Edward turned back to me, a strange intensity in his eyes. "No, Bella. I'm the lucky one. She chose me."

In that moment, I knew that whatever we had was truly over. It wasn't just the finality in his tone, but his non-use of my given name that informed me irrevocably of my loss. I nodded my head and continued on to my own seat.

The rest of the day was an exercise in fucking torture. Edward was in each of my classes. Angela was in half of them as well, and my bitterness grew as I watched their loving exchanges. When I had finally decided to screw social conventions, it was too late. What hurt most was the knowledge that it was my own fucking fault. If only I had been braver… But I hadn't.

I stormed into the gym at the end of the day, where I took out all of my fucking frustrations on the unsuspecting underclassmen that were trying out for the squad. Jess and Lauren looked shocked at first, but by the end of the afternoon they were once again treating me like we had never been on the outs. I was finally acting _normal_ again.

My temporary little trip to fucking fantasy land was most definitely over.

Isabella was gone.

Bella the Bitch was back.

* * *

**A/N:** I know, I know… This is not the HEA that I'm sure everyone expected from me, especially since I _love_ HEA's. But I really wanted to do something more realistic this time, b/c, let's be honest, life doesn't always have a HEA. There's always a lesson to be learned, and sometimes it _does_ hurt. Besides, how often does the geek get the popular girl? Social conventions really _do_ prevent it--HS kids are just too cruel to see past all that shit; in that reality, appearance _is_ everything.

Just so you know, I have had the unfortunate privilege to experience of both of these aspects in my own personal life: I have been the beauty being chased by the geek who was really nice (I just couldn't get past the exterior) AND the unpopular girl who wanted someone that was out of my reach and was rejected because of _my_ social status (or lack thereof). Both situations really sucked and hurt like hell, so I'm hoping that all of you will understand that reality isn't always pretty.

That's life. And sometimes life sucks.

**Reminder:** If you like this, please go vote for me after Jan 2! www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2142840/Geekward_Shuffle_Challenge


	2. Author's Note

**A/N:** Voting for the Geekward Shuffle Contest starts today. If you like this story, please go show me some love:

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2142840/Geekward_Shuffle_Challenge

I have had a lot of requests to continue this story… So, while I think that this was the realistic ending to this one-shot—what would really happen in High School—I really do want this Edward and Bella to get another shot at love. As such, I have decided to continue this story. I don't think that I'm allowed to post the summary or any teasers until after the contest ends, but I will tell you that the story will pick up 4 years in the future after both of them have had a chance to grow up and have changed a bit (in more ways than you will likely expect).

Now my question for you guys… would you prefer the follow-up to be another one-shot (long—probably 10-20K words) or a short multi-chapter fic (maybe 10 short chapters)?

Let me know…

I will post one last update to this story to tell you when and where to look for the follow-up.

Thanks for reading and voting! I really appreciate your support.

:)

KL


	3. Why Now?

**Four years later…**

**~/~ July ~/~ **

I left the classroom in a rush, slinging my bag onto my back as I went. I hollered a _goodbye_ to Jacob over my shoulder. God, it still felt fucking awkward calling him that, and he was well aware of my discomfort. His laughing voice followed me, telling me to have a good weekend. I threw my hand up in a wave as I ran down the hallway.

I looked at my watch as I hurried out of the building. _Damn_ _it to hell and back_! I was going to be fucking late to work. Again. I was just glad that I had a sympathetic boss. Emmett McCarty was a year out of college and understood the pressures. Of course, I was not the typical college student anymore—although I doubt if anyone would have ever addressed me as such, anyways. I was much too driven, too fucking determined to succeed.

I had spent the last three years fast-tracking through college, carrying an immensely fucking heavy course-load during the school-year and staying through the summers to ensure that I would graduate early. I had even started early; while all of my high school class-mates had enjoyed one last summer of responsibility-free freedom, I had moved to Seattle one week after graduation so that I could start classes. Oh hell… If I was honest, I would just admit that all of it was only a ploy to avoid Forks. And certain people in Forks. Okay, one particular green-eyed, bronze-haired, glasses-wearing person in Forks whom I just couldn't seem to avoid no matter how hard I tried during that final year of high school. But honesty sucks balls and hurts like a bitch to admit, so just forget I even mentioned that shit.

I digress…

Because I maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA, I had earned myself a scholarship to the graduate program in literature here at the University of Washington. Dr. Black—Jacob—had been my advisor for my three years of undergraduate studies. He was relatively young, in his early thirties, and we had clicked instantly. I doubt if he really understood my _need_ for school, but he had been supportive of my desires nonetheless. He had also appreciated my hard work in his classes, and as a result, he had taken me on as his teaching assistant—ten hours a week in addition to my classes—for the past two years. The scut work wasn't always fun, but grading papers was cool, and last year, as a senior, I was able to help teach some of the lower-level classes. I loved that shit!

I had graduated almost two months ago, and I was now a freshly minted graduate student. For the first time in my life, I was completely on my own. I was spending the summer taking a few classes and working as a graduate assistant for Dr. Black. Correction. _Jacob_. He insisted that I call him by his given name now that we were 'colleagues' or some shit like that. Even though he had agreed to increase my work-load for the summer, I was only eligible for twenty hours of work-study a week. Twenty hours at minimum wage did not pay the rent, which is why I needed my fucking job at _The Coffee Break_, the coffee shop-slash-bookstore-slash-internet café where I had been working for the past six weeks.

I dashed towards the parking lot adjacent to the English building. I had been running late when I returned from lunch this afternoon, so I had parked illegally in the lot outside the administration building rather than my designated lot all the way across the fucking campus. This particular class had only lasted an hour, but I had gotten held up afterwards discussing the assignment with some of my students. It was usually safe to park in that lot for an hour or so, but my time in the classroom had stretched to almost two hours today, so I was desperately hoping that I had escaped a parking ticket. At least I had a hanging parking tag rather than one affixed to my rear window since I drove a convertible, and I had thrown that fucker in the glove compartment before rushing to class. I rounded the corner of the building in a full-out sprint, but my feet slowed when I saw the rectangular piece of paper adorning my windshield. I cursed loudly.

"Fuck!"

While many aspects in my life may have changed dramatically over the past four years, some things remained the same. I still had a dirty fucking mouth and a bad fucking attitude.

Yeah… Bella was still a bitch.

I stomped towards my car in a huff. But my irritated scowl morphed into a confused frown as I got closer to my car. The paper was too large to be a normal parking ticket. Not to mention, it was the wrong fucking color—parking tickets here on campus were usually pink, and this piece of paper had a yellow tint. I realized that is was a sheet of yellow notebook paper, folded over and placed under the wiper.

It was a note.

Who the fuck would leave me a note? I had relatively few friends here; I didn't know that many people—I kept to myself and never made much of an effort. Those that I did know wouldn't leave a note. I approached my car with trepidation, and when I was close enough, I reached out to pluck the note from my window.

I opened it and saw my name scrawled in elegant script across the top. My heart began to pound uncontrollably. There was something very familiar about that writing—I would know it anywhere. I had spent eight months looking at that handwriting every day during my junior year in high school. My eyes reluctantly dropped to the bottom of the page, and _his_ name jumped off the paper.

Even though I was expecting it, I gasped and my already rapidly beating heart jumped out of my fucking chest. My head began to swim and my hand went numb. I looked down and realized I had fisted my hand around the bottom of the page—my fingers were white with stress and the sheet of paper was vibrating slightly. _Damn it to hell and back._ My hand was fucking shaking. Because of _him_. I stared at the name that was mocking me.

_Edward Cullen._

But why… how… _Fuck_! It made no sense, and my eyes narrowed in anger. There was no reason for him to be here, let alone leave me a fucking note. What the hell was he doing here on _my_ turf? In _my_ world? A world that had been blissfully Edward Cullen-fucking-free for the past three years, one month, fourteen days, I looked to my watch, four hours and three minutes.

Yes, I knew down to the fucking minute how long it had been since I had last seen him. He had been everywhere senior year, constantly taunting me with his presence. Even my departure from Forks had been tainted by him—as I was leaving, with my tail between my fucking legs, I had seen him and Angela at the BP station when I stopped to get gas. I don't know if they saw me, but the sight of them kissing in his car—that stupid fucking Camaro—was forever engrained in my mind. No matter what I did or where I went, it seemed as if I couldn't escape the mockery of my botched romantic life. Which is why I also knew that it had been three years, ten months, twenty-eight days, I looked to my watch again, six hours and forty five minutes since the ill-fated morning I had finally decided to tell him I loved him, only to learn that I was too late.

"Fucking A!" I screamed angrily, pounding my fist against my car door. "Why? Why now, God damn it? I've finally gotten past all this shit…"

I was so fucking pissed right now that I had no desire to find out what he had to say. I crumbled the paper in my hand, not even reading his words, and tossed it angrily to the ground. I unlocked my car door, tossed my bag onto the passenger seat, and slid behind the wheel. I tried to insert the key into the ignition, but found that I couldn't because my hand was shaking so fucking badly. I sat back, dropping my hands to my lap and took a deep breath. I leaned forward so that my forehead rested on my steering wheel.

My anger faded as I concentrated on my breathing, but my body continued to tremble, shock setting in. I still pondered the same issues, only now they were painful questions in my heart rather than an angry tirade in my head, and my chest fucking ached. Once again, I felt empty. Completely fucking bereft.

Of course, this response only served to inform me that I hadn't put it behind me at all. Despite what I had tried to convince myself, Edward Cullen still had power over me. A lot of power. For almost five years, he'd had more fucking power over me than any other person in my life, although I doubt he was even aware of it. My eyes narrowed as I chastised myself over that fact, and the anger slowly began to return, creeping insidiously into my soul. He had hurt me more than any person in my life ever had, even if he never knew it.

_Fuck_!

For a second time, the anger faded almost as rapidly as it had arisen. Who was I kidding… Just like before, I was once again forced to remind myself that it was my own fucking fault. My pain had never been Edward's fault, even if I had tried to convince myself that it was in order to feel better. No, my pain was one-hundred percent self-fucking-induced. _I_ was the one who had strung him along, refusing to define our previous… _relationship_… if that's what you could call it. _I_ was the one who had inadvertently rejected him long before he had moved on and found someone who was willing to give him what I wouldn't: unconditional acceptance. _I_ was the one who had made the decisions that ultimately led to our break-up back in high school, if you could even call it that_. _

I sighed and shoved my hands into my short, unruly hair. Semantics be damned. All I knew is that my heart fucking hurt right now; just seeing his name had brought back all of those painful memories, reminded me of what I had lost. Or more aptly, what I had allowed to get away. I dashed at the tears that were falling down my cheeks.

_Why? _

_Why now?_

_Why now, when I had finally vowed to do something in order to move on?_

I took another deep breath and pushed myself away from the steering wheel. I finally managed to shove the key in the ignition and get the car started. Throwing it into gear, I backed out of the parking spot. As I cleared the lines, my eyes were drawn to the crumpled ball of yellow paper lying on the ground. I hit the brakes, shifting into park, and got out of the car with a sigh. I walked over to that infernal fucking ball of paper and reached down to retrieve it. I tossed it onto the seat by my bag; I wasn't ready to read it just yet. But I would read it. Later. When I wasn't late for work and didn't need to worry about having an emotional breakdown in the middle of a parking lot.

I threw the car back into gear and headed to the coffee shop.

~/~

I walked through the door to my apartment just before seven p.m. It had been a long evening, my anxiety building throughout the day. I had been scheduled to close the store tonight, but by six o'clock, Jasper had gotten tired of my fucking emo mood-swings—I had completely freaked out some of the customers when I started crying for no reason—and told me that he would finish my shift for me. I hadn't wanted to leave; I did _not_ want to confront the demons that I knew were waiting for me, but he was insistent.

So now, I was home, four hours ahead of schedule. My roommate, Rosalie, was sprawled on the couch when I trudged through the door. She looked up, startled by my appearance, and narrowed her eyes when they landed on my face.

"What the fuck happened to you? Have you been fucking crying?" she asked, raising her eyebrows in question.

Her blunt questions brought the first smile to my face since I had left campus this afternoon. She was an abrasive, in-your-face bitch, and I fucking loved her for it. We were quite similar—prickly and defensive, both completely fucking potty-mouthed—and we had just clicked when we first met as freshmen. Neither of us was very out-going, both scared to put ourselves out there again due to past hurts. Maybe that wasn't the best for either of us, and maybe it fed our destructive attitudes, but it worked for us. We each respected the bitchiness of the other and didn't take that shit personally. After mutually bad freshman year roommate experiences, we decided that it would be in the best interests of everyone at U dub to not inflict said bitchiness on the rest of the world; we roomed together sophomore year in the dorms and moved into this apartment last fall, at the beginning of our third year.

I flopped down next to her on the couch, not saying anything.

Rose's eyes narrowed. "Weren't you supposed to close tonight?"

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. I nodded.

"So… let me ask again. What the fuck happened to you?"

I sighed, opening my eyes. Dropping my hand from my face, I reached into my bag and retrieved the slip of paper that was responsible for my emotional collapse. I held it up, waving it in her face.

"_This_ happened."

"What the fuck is that?"

I sighed again. "I don't really know. I haven't read it yet."

"Then why the hell does it have you in a fucking blue funk?"

I placed the paper on my lap, smoothing my fingers over the crumpled edges. When it was finally straightened, I opened it, revealing his beautiful script. My fingers trailed reverently over his name, tracing the letters. _Remembering_. Rose's eyes followed my fingers, and I heard her indrawn breath.

"Edward Cullen? As in _the_ Edward Cullen?" she asked sharply, knowingly; I had told her about Edward a while ago.

I nodded.

"What the fuck did he want?"

I rolled my eyes. I already told her that I hadn't read it yet. I shrugged.

She filched the note out of my hand, presumably to read it, and I completely fucking freaked out. I turned, glaring at her, and trying to snatch the paper back.

"Rose…" I hissed at her. "Give it back!"

She chuckled evilly, waving the paper in front of my face, then hopped off the couch and darted across the room when I tried to grab it from her.

"How long have you had this?" she asked, looking at me pointedly.

All afternoon. Not that I was going to tell her that...

So, instead, I scowled, standing in order to chase her across the room. She held the note high above her head, waving it around just out of my reach—she was quite a bit taller than me. Of course, I had tricks of my own. I hadn't been known as _Bella the Bitch_ all those years without good fucking reason. I planted my hands on my hips.

"Don't fuck with me, Rose… Give it back. Now." My voice was resolute, cold. Demanding.

Rose's eyes widened a bit; she had not been subjected to this side of me very often. But then she made a mistake. She laughed.

"What you gonna do if I don't? You gonna throw down over a piece of fucking paper?"

Damn right.

My foot snaked out towards her ankles at the same time as I leaned forward, giving her a small shove in the shoulders. Losing her balance, Rose tried to take a step backwards, but encountered my foot instead of the floor. She went down, hard, on her ass, a surprised _oomph_ escaping her lips. Her eyes widened even further; despite our innate bitchiness, we had never come to blows before or taken it out on each other. Her look caused me to smile, and I couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled up in my chest. Rose scowled at me as I laughed at her, but eventually a smirk twitched at the corner of her lips. She patted the floor next to her, and I lowered myself to sit with her, leaning my head on her shoulder. She passed me the piece of paper.

"Damn, girl. I didn't think you had it in you. Remind me never to piss you off again."

We sat for a minute, snickering. Then she turned to me.

"You gonna read that note anytime soon?"

I sighed, nodding my head. She nodded in return, then stood up, reaching for my hand in order to help me to my feet. She gave my hand a small squeeze before she sauntered back over to the couch and flopped back down, picking up the remote and scrolling through the channels looking for something to watch. I walked over to retrieve my book bag.

Turning to look at me, Rose spoke quietly. "I'll be here if you need to talk…"

I smiled in response and turned to head to my room.

Closing the door behind me, I dropped my bag by my desk and crossed the room to my bed. I lowered myself to my bed and sat there for quite some time staring blankly at the folded sheet of paper. My heart rate began to fucking accelerate again, the dull ache returning to fill my chest. Finally, with a shaky hand, I flipped the note open to read his words.

_Bella Swan? (If not, just ignore this) _

_Taking a chance that this is you, since I know you used to drive a  
Silver Volvo, and this one's got plates from our county. Not to  
mention the old Forks High School parking sticker on the bumper… _

_: ) _

_Anyways—I'm transferring to UW this semester, so just thought  
I'd pick your brains about what classes to take and which professors  
to avoid, assuming that you are majoring in literature as you  
planned back in the good ol' days… _

_Give me a buzz. It'd be nice to catch up. _

_(206) 812-3068 _

_Edward Cullen _

I read his words several times, and each time a new series of emotions ran through my entire fucking being. Anger. Confusion. Hurt. Annoyance. I was overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by memories. Overwhelmed by questions. Overwhelmed by hope.

The hope was the fucking kicker.

What the hell was I hoping? Was I hoping for another chance? Or was I hoping that I could really put it all behind me, once and for all this time. Maybe he could put it all behind him, but I wasn't sure if I could.

I flopped back onto the bed, clutching his note to my chest like a fucking life-line, wishing that I had answers.

~/~

What felt like ages later, I heard a quiet knock on my door. I turned towards the sound just as Rose pushed the door open and looked in at me. Her eyes softened at the sight of the tears that still stained my cheeks. She crossed the room and sat down on the bed. I shifted my body so that I was curled into a ball, my head resting on her lap. She stroked my hair while I silently cried some more.

"What'd he want?" she finally asked.

I sat up, brushing my cheeks and dangling my feet over the side of the bed. My hands came to rest on my lap. "To talk about school. He's transferring to U dub in the fall."

"Did he leave a number?"

I nodded.

"You gonna call him?"

I shook my head. _No_.

"Why not?"

"I can't," I whispered.

"Why the fuck not?"

I shrugged. "Fuck… I don't know."

She looked at me pointedly.

"Too much time has passed," I whined.

"Bullshit."

"Fine," I snapped. "You wanna know the truth?"

She nodded.

I took a deep breath before admitting, "I'm fucking scared."

Her eyes softened, relenting. "Why?" she asked quietly.

"Everything's just fucking different now, okay?"

She continued to stare at me questioningly.

"_I'm_ different now."

"So?"

"So, I didn't used to look like this." My hands moved to encompass my appearance, and she raised her eyebrows in response. I huffed. "I used to be pretty," I said quietly.

Rose narrowed her eyes, and I could tell that she was getting ready to say something. I threw my hand in her face, cutting her off before she could start. I stood up and walked across the room to my desk. Opening one of the drawers, I extracted a book—my senior year book. I tossed it to her.

"Page fourteen," I said.

She opened the book to the page I indicated, and her jaw dropped. Her gaze darted back and forth between the book and me, trying to reconcile the girl she saw between the pages with the one standing in front of her. She flipped through the pages, and snorted when she came to one about half-way through. She looked at me in astonishment.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me. _You _were a fucking cheerleader?"

I rolled my eyes. Of course, that's what she would see, instead of the point I was trying to make. "Rose…" I chastised.

"Okay, okay," she replied, continuing to flip through the pages of my old yearbook. I sat down next to her, pointing myself out in all the pictures. I hadn't looked at that book in several years, so I was almost as surprised as her looking through the pictures. Sitting there, next to her, looking at my old yearbook, I realized how much I really had changed. It was more than just the clothes and haircut, and it wasn't pretty, I now realized.

"See," I said quietly. "I'm not that person anymore."

"That's not necessarily a bad thing…"

I frowned.

"You mentioned before that you were a spoiled fucking brat who took everything for granted." I nodded in response. She smiled and continued, "Yeah, she may have been beautiful, but that girl was a complete fucking bitch who didn't give a shit about anything but herself. That's not you anymore; even if you don't want to admit it, you're not selfish like that anymore."

I just shook my head. "I don't know…"

"Bella, you don't see yourself clearly. You don't see how people look at you. Guys are always checking you out. They see your confidence, the way you carry yourself, and they are drawn to that, despite your grungy look." She bumped my shoulder with her own, and then turned to wink at me. I smiled at her, thankful for her reassuring words. We sat quietly for a few moments before she patted my knee and stood to walk out of my room. She pulled the door quietly closed behind her.

After she left, I spent a lot of time in quiet reflection. The cocky confidence that she referred to was just a fucking act these days. The days of believing that I was entitled and that the world owed me were long gone. I was now well aware that I owed the world far more than it owed me. It had been a hard lesson learned, one I would never forget. I fingered my short messy hair and looked down ashamedly at my ratty jeans and ill-fitting flannel shirt. It suddenly struck me that I was afraid that Edward would reject me. Because of the way I looked. Just like I had rejected him four years ago. It was a risk I was not willing to take.

_Wow… My, how the tables have fucking turned._

From others, I could handle rejection. But not from him; he was the physical manifestation of all that I had fucked up in my life, and I didn't want to take the chance that it couldn't be redeemed. I reached across the bed to pick up Edward's note. I re-read his words one last time, again running my fingers across the letters he had penned. It was almost as if I was trying to touch him through his words.

I sighed, then I refolded the note and stood up. I walked to my closet and pulled the shoebox of mementos—photos, concert tickets, letters from friends—from the top shelf. I slipped Edward's note into that box of memories, not willing to trash it, but not willing to act upon it either. Closing the lid, I placed the box back on the shelf in my closet, shutting it—and my stupid fucking hope—securely away.

**A/N:** So, here it is, the start to the continuation. Did you like? Let me know! Reviews are better than notes from Edward. LOL

But seriously, though… Again, I want to say thanks to all who read, reviewed and voted for TaLT, which took third in the GSC. I have been completely overwhelmed by the response to this story—more hits than my multi-chaps and sooo many reviews. I'm really glad that this Bella and Edward struck such a chord with all of you.

I went ahead and posted this chapter here so everyone who has tagged this story would be sure to get it. But now, a couple of questions for you guys… Would you prefer that I keep posting the chapters here, or start a new story? I only ask, b/c I'll probably have to change the summary a bit, and I'm really afraid to mess with anything concerning this story… Why jinx a good thing, right? Not to mention that since this will now become a multi-chap, it will no longer be just a "little trip". LOL

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns them. I've just made their situation a little less-than-perfect. Hopefully they won't fuck it up this time.

: )

Thanks to laraisawkward and Brandy_D for being such super betas…

KL


	4. You've Gotta Be Kidding Me

**A/N: **I continue to be amazed! To say that I have been blown away by the response to this particular story is an absolute fucking understatement. I am so glad that you guys are liking this one! Thank you so much to all who have read, tagged, reviewed, and PM'ed me. Hopefully this chapter will answer a lot of the questions that you asked after the first chapter of the continuation…

Thanks to my wonderful betas laraisawkward, Brandy_D, and moonlightdreamer33 for all of their helpful suggestions with this chapter. This story wouldn't be the same without them!

Without further ado…

* * *

**~/~ August ~/~**

The past five weeks had been interesting to say the least. The time seemed to fly by, yet simultaneously drag. You know the saying: Out of sight, out of mind? Well, that was one big crock of shit. Despite the fact that I had stored Edward's note safely away, it remained firmly at the forefront of my mind, where it wreaked major havoc. I was in a constant state of anxiety, because I was now constantly thinking about what that note might signify.

Why had he left it? Did he really want me to call him? And if I did call him, what would we talk about? Was he really just looking to 'catch up' with an old friend, or was he hoping for something more? If so, what?

_Argh!_

_What the fuck was I supposed to think?_

The day after my…emotional breakdown… I was once again reminded of the impact that Edward Cullen still had on and in my life. More specifically, my love life—or lack thereof. Yeah, I hate to fucking admit this, but I hadn't dated much since my botched relationship with Edward. I had thought that all of that was about to change… But the hold that Edward still had over me became quite apparent when Jasper sauntered up to me as soon as I took my post at the cash register that Saturday morning.

~/~

"_Morning, sunshine!" _

_I winced at the volume of his voice and smiled weakly in his direction as I adjusted my sunglasses on my nose. I hadn't slept well last night. Oh, hell…let's be honest… I hadn't slept at all last night, and I was fucking paying for it now._

_He grinned widely at me, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "You look like shit, sweetie. You go out last night?"_

_In the past, I would have made some tacky fucking comment about getting drunk and getting laid to explain away my ragged appearance, but today, I wasn't in the mood. I was on edge._

"_Thanks for pointing that out to me, Jasper. I was completely fucking unaware about how terrible I look," I hissed waspishly, my voice full of bitter sarcasm._

_Jasper seemed a bit taken aback by my irritation, and he spent the next few minutes silently watching me. In his defense, I had never before spoken to him like that. I sighed and tried my best to ignore his perusal, but I could feel his concerned gaze, which only irritated me further. I finally turned to face him with a scowl. _

"_What?" I snapped._

"_What's going on, Bella?" he asked in a soft voice, all joking aside._

_I just shook my head, not wanting to talk about it._

"_You okay?"_

_No, I wasn't okay. I didn't want to talk to him about it, either, so I just shrugged, hoping that he would take my hint and let it be. But Jasper and I had become friends over the past few weeks, and I had opened up to him a bit. He knew something was wrong, and I knew that he wouldn't let it go._

"_Guy trouble?" he finally asked, warily._

_I sighed and nodded slightly. He looked confused, and possibly a little hurt, not that I could blame him--I had never mentioned that I was seeing anyone, not that Edward and I were together… Nevertheless, my reaction to his letter made me aware of several unresolved issues. And made me realize that despite what I had tried to convince myself, I wasn't ready to date. _

_Jasper was still looking at me, as if he was expecting me to elaborate._

_I sighed again. "Long story that I really __**don't**__ want to talk about right now." _

_He sighed in resignation, a defeated look in his eyes. "Well, I guess this means that you don't want to go out…"_

_I looked at him sadly. Oh Jasper… If only he had asked me out two days ago, I would've said yes. We had been flirting for weeks, and I was comfortable with him. He talked to me and seemed to like me for me. In fact, just last week, I'd had the feeling that he was going to ask me out, and I when I thought about how I might respond to that kind of invitation, I realized that it was time to experience a real relationship rather than one that existed only in my head. Jasper was cute, and nice, and most importantly, he was here. I had finally decided that it was time to move on, to put my unrequited love for Edward Cullen behind me, and __**that**__ was the reason why I was so pissed by Edward's fucking note yesterday._

_Damn it to hell…_

_I shook my head. "I'm so sorry," I whispered, wishing that my answer could be different but knowing otherwise._

_He just nodded in return and went back to work behind the counter._

_~/~_

Things had been a bit strained between Jasper and I ever since.

A few weeks after that particular incident, there was another. Once again, I had parked in the admin lot because I was running late. As I was walking to my car after class, I had seen Edward's sister, Alice, exiting the administration building. Just the sight of her brought back all the old guilt; my run in with her that fateful afternoon at the movies had been the beginning of the end of my previous relationship with Edward. I ducked back around the corner of the building as soon as I realized it was her, so I don't think that she saw me. She looked quite a bit different; she had lost a lot of weight, but I would recognize her short spiky hair and features anywhere—she was a smaller, darker, and feminine version of Edward.

Nothing else… _odd_… had happened, per se, but I _knew_ it was only a matter of time. Somehow, I just knew that my life was getting ready to change. I could feel it in the fucking air. I felt like I was walking a tightrope, and a single wrong step would send me tumbling. Or that I was walking into a trap. The carefully structured existence that I had carved out for myself over the last three years was crumbling, and I didn't like the feeling of helplessness that accompanied its destruction.

No, I definitely didn't like it. Not one fucking bit.

~/~/~/~

I awoke on the first day of the fall semester with a really fucking bad feeling.

I had dreamed of Edward the previous night. That wasn't anything particularly new—I had been periodically dreaming about him for years—although it had been a while since he had made an appearance before that note had appeared on my car last month. However, after that note… Well, let's just say that dreaming about Edward Cullen was now a regular fucking occurrence. At least it hadn't been one of _those_ dreams; I don't know if I could have handled that. However, it _was_ one of those vaguely disturbing dreams where I felt as if I was missing some important point—searching for an answer, but never finding it—and no matter what I asked him, he refused to answer me. It was like a twisted fucking analogy of my life, and it left me feeling quite unsettled and sleep-deprived, which I did not need on my first day of the semester.

Unfortunately, the feeling of uneasiness only increased during the day. The strange coincidences that occurred throughout the morning probably didn't help. For example, while I was getting ready for school, the infamous song-that-shall-no-longer-be-named came on the radio. I turned that shit off as quickly as possible, but that damn song had been stuck in my head ever since. Then, when I got to school, I saw a stupid fucking Camaro in the parking lot. It was red, not blue, and obviously an older model than the car Edward had driven back in high school, but it still made me think of him. And finally, when I reached my first class and pulled out my notebook in order to date the sheet of paper on which I would take my notes for the day, I realized that fate had an incredibly fucked up sense of humor.

Today was August 21st. Four years to the fucking day since I lost everything that I had never known I wanted until it was too late.

I groaned. Somehow, I knew in my bones that something… _strange_… was going to happen today. The frisson of foreboding I felt all the way to the bottom of my soul told me that it was inevitable. I also knew with absolute certainty that whatever happened would somehow be connected to Edward. So I was jittery, on edge, and quite fucking paranoid, just waiting for that _something_—whatever it might be—to happen.

I made it through all of my morning classes without any sort of incident. I also spent three busy office hours with Jacob—I was finally starting to become comfortable referring to him in that manner—working on class syllabuses, as well as preparing handouts and assignments for his classes this week. By the time we walked to his 1:00 p.m. upper-level Shakespearean literature class, in which I was acting as his assistant for the semester, the unsettled feeling had faded away. I was in my element in the classroom. Not to mention, it was my last hour of the day. If something was going to happen, it would have happened by now, right?

We arrived to class early, and I got to work setting out stacks of hand-outs on each of the bench-like tables in the lecture hall, while he walked to the platform and wrote out the necessary introductory material on the dry-erase board. We finished up just as students started trickling into the classroom. I heard the thrum of feet filing between the desks and traversing the steps, the steady stream of whispered conversation as students talked amongst themselves before the class started. I took my seat in the front row as Jacob made his way to the lectern, where he watched the students enter the room.

Just as Jacob began his introductory address, it hit me like a ton of fucking bricks: an electric awareness that sucked the air out of my lungs and caused each and every hair on my body to rise to attention. I felt simultaneously hot and cold, like my body had somehow been plunged into a tub that was both icy cold and boiling at the same time. Without even turning around, I knew the cause of this reaction.

_Edward Cullen._

_Shit_. You've gotta be fucking kidding me… Was he seriously in this class? _My_ class? I resisted the urge to turn around and look, although it was probably one of the hardest fucking things I had ever done. I placated myself with the knowledge that I'd get my chance in a few minutes, anyways; Jacob was a stickler for convention, and he would take the opportunity to introduce me as soon as he got through his opening address. So I sat rigidly in my chair, hands fisted in my lap, staring straight forward as Jacob ran through his opening day spiel.

"Welcome to English 423, otherwise known as Shakespearean literature. I'm Dr. Black…"

I tuned out his words—I had heard this introduction several times over the past two-and-a-half years, both as a student and as a TA—and instead, I focused on my breathing. Or at least I tried to focus on my breathing. The ripples of awareness pulsing around me were quite distracting and I was having a hard time concentrating on anything. But then Jacob's voice pulled me back; he was introducing me. I tensed slightly, knowing that I would have to acknowledge the class momentarily.

"I'm very lucky this semester to have a graduate student as my teaching assistant in this class."

He nodded in my direction, indicating that I should come up to the stage, and continued on before I even stood. I ran my hands quickly through my messy hair in an attempt to tame it and smoothed my hand down the front of my blouse as I rose from my seat.

"She is the only person I know who loves Shakespeare as much as I do. In fact, her thesis studies are focused on Shakespearean literature, so please treat her as if she was another professor and show her the utmost respect."

He winked at me as I ascended the steps and I rolled my eyes at him.

"Miss Bella Swan."

I heard a thump, like a book falling to a table, as I took a deep breath and turned to face the class with a small wave. While Jacob finished introducing me—informing the class of my office location and hours—my eyes covertly searched the room, looking for the familiar mop of messy copper-colored hair and unsightly glasses that I knew must be out there somewhere. But I couldn't find them no matter how hard I searched. I saw a lot of messy frat-boy hairstyles, and multiple guys who were wearing glasses, but none was right. None was the person for whom I was desperately searching. I felt my eyes pinch in frustration. The hair on my arms was still standing on end, and that, combined with the commotion when my name had been announced, informed me that I was not mistaken.

_He was there. _

Jacob's introduction was now over, and he was getting ready to start the lecture, so I was forced to leave the stage without identifying my target. As I descended the stairs, I took one last look at the class… and my gaze clashed with a very surprised-looking set of emerald green eyes sitting at a table several rows back. My eyes widened. His hair was neatly trimmed, he was wearing a pair of slim, yet stylish, metal-framed glasses, and he was well dressed. Banana Republic metrosexual chic clothing, if I still knew my fashion. My jaw dropped in shock. It was Edward, but it wasn't… I shook my head as I returned to my seat, breaking our eye contact.

I felt his eyes boring a hole into the back of my head throughout the remainder of the hour. For the first time in four years, I did not pay attention to a lecture. I was too aware of _him_. I felt nothing but the electric tingles radiating up and down my arms and heard nothing but the thumping rush of blood through my head. When class was over, I snatched my bag up quickly and made my way towards the exit on the other side of the room. A scuffling noise accompanied his voice as he called my name.

"Bella…"

I ignored the summons as I scurried towards the door.

"Bella, wait!"

The velvet voice sent shivers down my spine and caused my feet to move faster. I could hear him shoving the chairs out of the way as he attempted to get to the aisle. My heart was pounding and my breath was coming in short gasps, but I forced my feet to keep moving. Then he spoke my name—my given name—in a resolute tone.

"Isabella."

My feet halted just as I reached the doorway. At the sound of my name rolling off his tongue after so many years, my heart stuttered to a stop, then started hammering away in my chest. He had finally cleared the desks and was running up the stairs. At my sudden stop, he ran into me, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders in order to keep from bowling me over. My traitorous mind couldn't help but recall the way those hands had felt on my body in times past. My body hadn't forgotten either; when he squeezed gently, I felt myself fucking tremble at his touch. I dropped my head, looking at the floor, ashamed at my body's involuntary response. He released my shoulders in order to step around me, coming to rest in front of me. When I refused to look at him, he lifted a finger to my chin and tipped it up, forcing me to meet his eyes. They were confused, pinched with concern.

"Hey, Edward…" My greeting was whispered.

My eyes roved his form hungrily, drinking in his much-improved appearance. He had definitely filled out since high school. His clothing fit perfectly now—distressed denim caressed his thighs and the button-down shirt highlighted his now-broad shoulders and slim waist—a complete contrast from how he had dressed when I knew him in back high school. I smiled when I looked down to see that he still favored loafers without socks, though. For some reason, that didn't bother me now. I glanced back up to meet his eyes again. Even the thin wire-framed glasses were attractive, somehow highlighting his eyes rather than hiding them. As I stared, their color shifted from emerald to jade, before softening to a mossy shade reflective of his compassion.

"You look good," I told him with a small smile. And he did. He looked really fucking good.

He smiled in return, and muttered a quietly awkward, "Thanks."

I realized in that moment that while his physical appearance had definitely improved since I had seen him last, the reciprocal was definitely not true. I knew that I looked different, and not in a good way. I hadn't really given a shit about that until right now. I had convinced myself for the past three years that I didn't care about how I looked. But standing here in front of him, I knew that it had all been a fucking lie. I did care.

Although I shouldn't have been surprised by his next words, they still caught me off guard.

"You look… different..." He struggled to find the right word.

I snorted, reaching up to finger my hair unconsciously.

"I know. It's a great look, isn't it?" I asked in a self-deprecating manner. I rolled my eyes. "My roommate had this wonderful idea a few months back that I could 'so pull off the Joan Jett look.' For some reason, I believed her; I might have been drunk at the time. In hindsight, I realize that it probably wasn't the smartest decision. Now I'm stuck with this stupid fucking mullet."

Edward's eyes widened, but the corners of his mouth were twitching in an attempt to keep from smiling. Completely deadpan, he nodded his head and stated, "Yeah… I had forgotten why the mullet went out of style. Thanks for reminding me…"

I smacked him on the shoulder, shocked by his words and my immediate response to them. Then we both smiled and eventually started laughing. I was surprised at the instantaneous comfort I experienced just talking to him. I hadn't laughed—really laughed—in quite some time. This was going far better than I ever could have expected. I was facing my past, and I was laughing with him. Even if it was over my hideous hair. My tension began to melt away.

Only to return with a fucking vengeance when he asked his next question.

"Did you get my note a few weeks back?"

My eyes flashed guiltily to his. I didn't answer. I didn't have to. The look in his eye told me that he knew the answer.

"So that was your car?"

I nodded.

"Still driving the same car from way back when, huh?"

I nodded again. "You?"

"Nah… my parents still have it, though." A small frown pinched at his lips for a second, but it was quickly replaced by a nostalgic smile. "I loved that car."

I smiled in return. That car had been the perfect fit for him.

We stood in companionable silence for a moment, each lost in our own thoughts, and I thought that I had dodged a fucking bullet in the conversation. I was proven wrong with his next words.

"You didn't call…"

I sighed. "No."

I looked down, unable to make eye contact anymore. Yeah… the fucking tension was back.

"Why not?" he asked.

I shrugged.

"Isabella?"

I shuddered at the sound of his velvety, smooth voice speaking my name. It brought back so many memories… Even after all this time, it still felt like a warm, relaxing caress that embraced every inch of me; chill bumps once again arose on my exposed skin. But I couldn't disobey the command that his voice had issued, so I raised my eyes guardedly to look into his. He was still waiting for an answer.

I shrugged again. "I don't know." I struggled for an excuse that sounded reasonable—there was no way in hell that I would tell him the truth—but my mind was drawing a fucking blank. All I could manage was another small shrug.

We stood in silence for a minute, staring at each other warily, not exactly knowing what to say to the other.

"Too much water under the bridge?" he finally offered.

I smiled sadly at him, but jumped to grab the excuse he had provided. "Yeah… Something like that."

He nodded in return, a sad smile of his own gracing his lips. More awkward silence and intense staring followed.

"This hasn't been too bad, has it? Talking to me?" he finally asked.

"No," I replied, somewhat shocked by my answer.

My surprise must have been evident, because he finally smiled at me. A real smile. And his smile caused me to smile in return.

"Maybe we could do it again sometime...?"

His question made me feel hopeful, and my heart started racing again, but in a good way this time. I really _had_ enjoyed talking to him, and what better way to deal with your demons than to confront them head-on? I started to relax, and I smiled more widely.

"Yeah. That'd be nice."

_It really would be nice_.

"Maybe we could grab a coffee?" he asked cautiously.

_Coffee_? _Oh shit_.

"Oh, shit! Fucking hell," I cursed loudly as I looked down at my watch.

It was 2:45 p.m.

Edward was looking at me with a combination of shock and confusion.

"Sorry," I apologized for my language as I reached down to grab my bag and hoisted it onto my shoulder. "Some things never fucking change, huh?" I asked with a smile.

He shook his head ruefully. "I guess not."

"That should be a comfort…" I mused, surprised by the fact that for just a few moments, standing here talking with him, I really was feeling like my old, feisty self again.

He chuckled and smiled at me. I smiled back, and I knew I was grinning like a fucking idiot.

I looked at my watch again.

_Shit_!

2:50 p.m.

"Edward, I hate to do this, but I've gotta run…"

I moved away from the classroom, walking at a brisk pace. He fell into step beside me. The smile on his face had morphed into a frown. "Did I say something wrong?"

I laughed. "No, not at all. And just so you know, I would love to have coffee with you sometime."

He smiled in return. "But…" he prodded as we stepped out of the building into the bright sunshine of the afternoon.

"But your invitation just reminded me that I'm fucking late for work."

Again.

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked... Edward wants to know what you think of him now. Hit that little green button and let us know...

:)


	5. It's Not What You Think

**A/N: **Wow! You guys are the absolute best. I am still just so blown away by response to this story that I don't really know what to say. Thank you so much to all who have read, tagged, reviewed, and PM'ed me. Your support means so much! I only hope that I can live up to your expectations.

Thanks to my wonderful betas laraisawkward, Brandy_D, and moonlightdreamer33 for all of their suggestions for this chapter (which, unfortunately, needed a lot of help… It's been really hard trying to keep this story short—I so love to talk!). This story wouldn't be the same without them!

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns 'em. I'm just making them deal with all the shit from their pasts before they can find their HEA…

Yeah… the shit's about to hit the fan…

Enjoy!

* * *

**~/~ September ~/~**

It was a Friday afternoon in late September, and I was sitting in the food court at my usual Friday afternoon table nursing a shitty cup of cafeteria coffee. Would it really be too much to ask for a fucking Starbucks on campus? This generic shit was toxic. And, it was my second cup. I normally wouldn't drink this much; however, Edward was late, so I had just purchased another cup from the crappy little cafeteria coffee kiosk while I waited for him to arrive.

Edward and I had spent the past several weeks reconnecting. We started out really fucking slow, just a few words after class each day that first week, usually concerning the class itself or assignments. I wanted to try to rekindle our old friendship, but I was still really fucking skittish—I needed to make sure I could suppress any lingering feelings that remained from spending several years stoically pining away for him. So, I had waited until he brought up coffee again. He had finally asked, a week later, and we had spent an hour talking over coffee. The conversation that first day had been a bit awkward since our only common ground other than Shakespearean literature was high school, and neither of us had been ready to take that particular trip down memory fucking lane. We hadn't talked about anything of consequence, but that first conversation had opened the door to a tentative friendship. Since that day, coffee at noon on Fridays had become our habit.

Certain topics were avoided, of course. Even after a month of conversations, there was little mention of our days in high school and _no_ mention of our previous relationship—I don't think that either of us was ready to confront those particular demons yet. However, I had learned about his three years at Northwestern in Chicago—Edward was pre-med—and the fact that his father's car accident last spring was what had brought him back home. Dr. Cullen had been seriously injured, and he had spent over a month in the ICU at the hospital that he used to oversee. He was back doing some administrative work now, but he was still in a wheelchair, and there were serious doubts about if he would ever walk again. That was the reason for Edward's transfer to U dub; he wanted to be closer to home in case his family needed help. Alice had transferred from New York as well, for the same reason. Since they were both upperclassmen, transferring in late, and didn't want to be randomly assigned a roommate in the dorms, they were sharing an apartment off campus.

I had also told him about my three years of undergraduate study. He had been curious about how I managed to graduate in three years, so I mentioned that I had stayed here during the summers and usually worked through the holidays in order to get enough credits to graduate. That had concerned him a bit.

"_Didn't you ever go home?" he asked, a confused frown on his face._

_I shrugged. "Not really."_

"_Even for holidays?"_

_I shrugged again. "I made it home for Christmas freshman year..."_

_What I didn't tell him was that I was only at home for three days that year. I had seen him and Angela in his car when I had run to the grocery store for my mother on Christmas Eve, and when I got home, I had a full-blown panic attack. I never told my parents the reason for that episode—I blamed all my schoolwork instead—but I had returned to school on Christmas night. _

"_That was it?" He looked incredulous._

_I sighed. "Edward, I never had a great relationship with my parents, and I fucking hated Forks, especially after high school." I looked at him pointedly, and chagrin flashed across his face. "I was much happier staying here. They came here to visit me for Christmas the last two years." _

While that line of conversation had been a bit unnerving, it had provided the opportunity for me to ask the one question about our pasts that I had allowed myself to ask him over the past month.

"_What happened with you and Angela?" I inquired, hesitantly._

_He sighed, seemingly a bit uncomfortable with my question, but he answered it nonetheless. "We dated for a while, but the long-distance thing didn't really work out that well. Hell, it probably shouldn't have lasted as long as it did in the first place." He paused, running a hand agitatedly through his hair. "We broke up just after Christmas freshman year."_

_I just nodded and changed the subject to a more pleasant topic of conversation._

I was amazed by how much I had come to enjoy those coffee breaks with Edward. After years of purposely closing myself off from everyone, I was surprised by the ease with which I opened up to him; I was comfortable just talking to him. Just like back in high school, my conversations with Edward made me realize that I still didn't talk—really talk—to very many people. Rose had been my only confidant for the past three years, but our similar personalities probably precluded her from being the most objective outside observer. So, I quickly fell back into the habit of talking about what I wanted from the future with Edward. I realized that I had come to rely on that one hour out of my week, much like I had relied upon our early morning study sessions back in high school.

Which was why I was fucking fidgeting: It was now 12:20 and there was no sign of Edward.

I took another sip of the shit that they attempted to pass off as espresso and wrinkled my nose in disgust. I dropped the paper cup in disgust, and the hot liquid sloshed over the side, sliding over my skin and pooling on the table.

"Fuck!"

I yanked my hand away from the scalding liquid, but my jerky motion caused the cup to overturn, spilling its entire contents onto the wooden surface of the table. It ran in rivulets towards the edge, and as I watched, it poured over the edge and onto my lap. I pushed my chair back from the table, jumping to my feet as the coffee soaked through my jeans and burned the skin of my legs.

"Shit! Fucking hell!" I hopped around in pain, mopping at my pants with a napkin.

By the time I managed to get my mess cleaned up it was 12:30 and I accepted the fact that he wasn't coming. Frowning, I grabbed my bag and made my way towards my office. I stopped in the restroom on my way there to assess the damage. My jeans were stained horribly by the black coffee. I attempted to clean some of the mess with water from the sink, but that only made it look work worse. With a sigh, I turned away from the mirror and exited the bathroom. Retrieving my phone, I scrolled through the entries until I found the number I wanted. I pushed the send button and was immediately greeted by Rose's voicemail.

"This is Rose. You know the fucking drill…"

I smiled at her cryptic message. As I walked through the door that led to the office area, I left her a message.

"Hey Rose. I need a favor… I just fucking spilled coffee all over myself, and I need a new pair of jeans, but I don't have time to go home before I go to work. I know you're done with classes today at one, so can you run by the apartment and grab me a pair? You can meet me at the coffee shop; my shift starts at three. Please call me as soon as you get this message. Thanks."

I hung up as I entered my office and dropped my bag by my desk. I was grumbling, cursing under my breath, and Jacob poked his head out of his office to look at me.

"Problems?" he asked.

I turned around, pointing to my jeans. He fucking snickered at me.

"It's not funny," I snapped. "I don't want to go to class like this, but I _can't _go to work like this, and I don't have time to go home between class and work today. If I don't hear back from my roommate, I'm probably going to have to leave early, okay?"

He nodded, then frowned. "Don't you have a change of clothes with you today?"

"Not any pants, and I'm required to wear pants at the coffee shop."

He nodded again. "No problem. If you gotta go, you gotta go."

I finally smiled. "Thanks."

He nodded and retreated back into his office.

Fifteen minutes later, as I was gathering my stuff for class, my phone rang. It was Rose. We talked while I walked to class, and she agreed to meet me at the coffee shop right before three with a clean pair of jeans. I thanked her and hung up the phone as I entered the classroom. Luckily, I was the first person there, so I was able to take my seat in the front of the room before anyone could notice my wet, stained jeans.

A moment before class started, the electric shimmer in the air alerted me to the fact that Edward had arrived. I didn't turn around. Not that this was anything new… I never acknowledged him in class; I didn't know if assistant-student relationships were frowned upon in the same manner as professor-student relationships, but I didn't want to take any chances. So, within the walls of this classroom, I tried to ignore the draw I felt to him, and treated him in the same professional manner that I provided to all of my students. However, today, it was difficult. I was edgy, and I wanted to know why he didn't join me for coffee. I hoped that it was something simple—maybe he got caught up in a meeting or needed to study—but I didn't know, and as the class dragged on, I started feeling unsettled. The electric awareness shifted into something else, something uncomfortable, something almost sinister.

Something was wrong, and I needed to find out what.

At the end of the hour, Edward was up and moving towards the door before Jacob even finished his closing remarks. I grabbed my bag and sprinted up the stairs.

"Edward?"

He continued walking towards the door, ignoring me. I took the stairs two at a time and cleared the top stair, emerging into the hallway. Edward was swiftly walking away from the classroom.

"Edward, wait!" I called.

I saw his steps falter, then stop. He was standing rigidly still. I pushed myself to a sprint in order to catch up to him. When I finally reached his side, he addressed me.

"What do you want, Bella?"

I was shocked, not only by his tone—which was incredibly fucking cold—but also by his non-use of my given name. He had been calling me Isabella for the past month. The only times he had ever called me Bella in the entire time I had known him—other than that first day in class—was when he was upset. He was upset with me, and I had no fucking clue why.

"What the fuck is going on, Edward?"

"You tell me."

"Huh?" I asked, completely fucking baffled.

He sighed and turned to look at me accusingly. "I came to your office earlier…"

I frowned. I had never seen him. "Why didn't you wait for me?"

He looked at me intently. "I did."

"When were you there?" I asked, genuinely confused.

I had been in my office for almost the entire two hours between my class this morning and leaving to go to the cafeteria at noon. I had gone to the restroom once, but I would have seen him when I returned. The only other time I was not at my desk was when I had stepped into Jacob's office to talk about our plans for the weekend.

_Oh shit_!

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. If he had overheard that particular conversation…

"About eleven-thirty," he answered warily. "You were in Dr. Black's office, talking. The door wasn't closed…"

_Fuck_!

I shook my head. This wasn't good. This wasn't fucking good at all. I opened my eyes to look at him.

"What did you hear?"

His eyes pinched. "Enough," he stated, hurt now accompanying the accusing look in his eye.

"It's not what you think…"

"Really, Bella, it's not what I think? Does this mean that you're _not_ spending the night at _Dr. Black's _house tonight?"

I didn't like the way that he emphasized Jacob's name. I closed my eyes once again, groaning.

_Yeah… this was really fucking bad_.

I thought back over the conversation I'd had with Jacob this morning, trying to figure out what parts Edward had or hadn't heard.

~/~

_I went to Jacob's office to ask a question about the reading material for the day. We talked for a few minutes about that, as well as today's assignment, before I changed to subject to the upcoming weekend._

"_Did you make a decision on the hotel?" I asked._

_He nodded excitedly. "The bed and breakfast."_

_I smiled, nodding my head. That had been my choice, too. "Good. That should bring a little romance to the weekend."_

"_That's what I thought, too." He smiled at me, before continuing. "You can come over tonight, right? We need to leave first thing in the morning, so it'd be easiest if you were already at the house…"_

"_Sure," I confirmed. "No problem. My bag's already packed."_

"_Do you need me to pick you up after work tonight, or will you drive yourself?" he asked._

"_I'll drive myself. It'll be late, though…"_

"_Don't worry. I should still be up, but if not…" he handed me a key to his house. "Here's a key, just in case…"_

_I pocketed the key._

"_You know where everything is, right? You can have the same room you used before. Is that okay?"_

"_Sure thing."_

~/~

"What was the last thing you heard," I prodded.

"Well, Bella... When he gave you a key to his house, I figured that I'd heard enough."

By now I was starting to get really fucking pissed. Exasperated, I propped my hands on my hips, adopting a belligerent stance in front of him. My eyes narrowed. "Really, Edward? I'm just curious what the fuck you were 'figuring' at that moment?"

His eyes widened.

"What the hell was I supposed to think?" he asked in agitation, running a hand through his hair. He speared me with an angry stare. "He gave you the key to his house!"

"Yes he did. And if you had stayed and eavesdropped on the rest of the fucking conversation, you'd know why I am going over there this weekend!" I glared at him, but my voice softened in resignation with my next words. "I thought we were friends, Edward. Friends talk, they don't make assumptions. I thought you knew me better than that; a relationship of that sort is entirely inappropriate and would not only endanger my graduate studies, but Dr. Black's job as well. I'm not that fucking stupid."

He crossed his arms and huffed, but a look of chagrin entered his eyes. I continued to look intently at him. He stared back, a myriad of emotions crossing his face: confusion, anger, hurt, disbelief, and many others that I couldn't identify. I knew that he wanted to know why I was going to Jacob's this weekend, and I wanted to tell him. I _needed_ to tell him. But at this point in time, he was going to have to fucking ask. With a final huff, he broke the silence.

"Why?" he asked petulantly.

"Because Jacob and his _wife_ are going out of town for the weekend, and they need someone to stay at their house and babysit their children."

Completely fucking devastated by his hurtful assumptions, I turned and stalked away before he even had the opportunity to respond.

~/~/~/~

I was in a really fucking bad mood by the time I reached the coffee shop. My jeans were still damp and stained, I was completely pissed at Edward and his horrid assumptions, and once again, I was fucking late.

At least Rose was already there, waiting for me with my clean clothes. However, she was obviously irritated by my tardiness; she was standing by her car with her arms crossed, and she looked at her watch pointedly when I stepped out of my car.

"Don't start with me, Rose," I warned as I walked towards her. "I've had a really fucking bad day…"

Surprisingly, she didn't press her case. She fell into step beside me as I walked towards the store, following me into the break room where my locker was located. As I was stowing my stuff, she broke the silence.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really."

But I was still fuming, still pissed that Edward could make those kind of assumptions about me. I began muttering under my breath. "How dare he? I thought he fucking knew me… What kind of friend jumps to _those_ kind of fucking conclusions?"

"Who you talking about over there, sweetie?" Rose asked sweetly.

I huffed as I finished stuffing my things into the tiny locker. I turned to look at Rose, and she tossed me the clean pair of jeans. No one was in the room, so I kicked off my shoes. As I shimmied out of my jeans, I answered her question.

"Edward." I growled.

"What'd he do?" she asked warily.

"He 'figured'," yes, I used fucking air quotes to make my point, "that I was having a fucking affair with Jacob."

"Jacob?" Rose asked.

I realized that I still referred to him as Dr. Black when I talked about him outside of school, so I clarified for her. "You know… Dr. Black, my mentor, my thesis advisor. Jacob!"

Her jaw dropped. "Why the fuck would he think that?"

Rose knew I was babysitting for them this weekend.

"He overheard part of the conversation I was having with Jacob about my staying over there this weekend, and instead of asking me about it, he assumed the worst."

I was standing, half-naked in the middle of the room, gesticulating wildly. I was so worked up that I continued to talk rather than get dressed; the jeans were now swinging wildly in the air along with my hands.

"I can't believe that he would fucking think that about me. I thought we were friends…" I fumed.

Rose looked at me with a strange quirk to her lips and a sad look in her eyes. "Bella, sweetie… With your history, I have a feeling that with you and Edward—"

Her statement was interrupted when the door to the break room flew open, and Emmett came barreling through the door. I squealed, and his eyes opened wide at my pants-less situation. He made to turn around and step away, but in the process, he bowled over Rosalie, who went down on her ass with an _oomph_.

I couldn't help it. Seeing Rose get ass-planted for the second time in recent history, I started laughing. Rose scowled at me from the floor while Emmett apologized profusely and offered his hand to help her stand. She turned her scowl on him and smacked his hand away, grumbling about _stupid fucking guys who don't watch where they were fucking going_. But there was a look in her eye that I had never seen before; if I wasn't mistaken, despite her bitching, she found him cute.

With Emmett distracted, I quickly stepped into my jeans. By the time he turned around, looking entirely gob-smacked by the way—yeah, Rose is fucking gorgeous—I was once again fully attired. He eyed me skeptically, then shook his head and left the room without saying another word. Rose and I collapsed in a fit of laughter.

"Oh. My. God." I was having trouble breathing I was laughing so hard. "Did you see his eyes? You would've thought he had never seen a half-naked chick before, when I know for a fact that Emmett has quite the list of conquests…"

"Emmett, huh?" Rose asked speculatively. "Wait a minute… _that's_ your boss?"

"Yeah. He's a nice guy. Want me to get his number for you?" I asked in a joking manner, waggling my eyes suggestively.

Rose blushed. And she never fucking blushed. She was too hardcore for girlie shit like that. My eyes narrowed. Then my mouth gaped as she ducked her head and spoke.

"Could you?"

_Holy shit_! I was fucking stunned. Rosalie Hale, self-professed man-hater had finally met a man she liked.

"Okay…"

She blushed some more and refused to meet my eyes.

I locked my stuff up in my locker and turned to go out to the floor. I drug Rosalie along with me, offering to buy her whatever she wanted as thanks for her help.

"What were you saying earlier, before we were so rudely interrupted?" I asked as I pushed through the doorway in the back of the store.

She looked at me with serious eyes once again. I was a bit taken aback by her next question. "Bella… was this ever just about friendship with Edward?"

I was at a loss for words, so I just stared for a moment.

"Why would you ask that?" I finally choked out my question.

"I just remember how upset you were when that note showed up on your car. I know that you cared deeply for him at one point, and that you spent several years regretting all the choices that you considered 'bad' in your past relationship. Could you really be happy with just friendship?"

I thought about it long and hard before answering. I had been in love with Edward Cullen for a while. The fact that he was unattainable had made that love bitter, and it had gnawed away at my heart and soul for the past four years. Yet, over the past few weeks, I had enjoyed finding my old friend. So, in that regard, yes, I was satisfied with what we had right now. But I knew deep down that I would always wonder 'what if" with Edward….

I shrugged and put on my game face. "I have to be."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not willing to go down that road again. It hurt too much the first time."

"What if he was willing?"

Rose loved to play devil's advocate. I scowled at her. "I'm not going there, Rose."

"Bella, you've changed a lot in the last four years. I'm willing to bet that he has, too…"

My scowl deepened. Why the hell was Rose trying to convince me of this? What was in it for her? Besides, it was a moot point anyways. Unless Edward said something, I wasn't going to. I _was_ happy just being friends, I decided. I verbalized my thoughts.

"Moot point."

Rose shook her head. "I don't think so, Bella."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Look at his reaction today."

My scowl deepened. I didn't know where she was going with this. "What about it?" I asked huffily.

She sent me a sly glance. "I think that he was _jealous _when he heard you talking with Jacob."

My jaw dropped again. I hadn't though about that angle. I had only been focusing on my hurt feelings.

"If you play this right…" her sentence trailed off, and by the speculative look on her face, I knew that she was plotting something in that head of hers.

For a moment, I let myself get wrapped up in the possibility that Edward might indeed be interested in something more than just friendship. The feeling of emptiness that had been my constant companion disappeared, and a warmth that I had not felt in years filled my chest. Could we put our past mistakes behind us and move on? Were we ready to take this to the next level? As I considered these possibilities, I felt a smile begin tug at my lips.

But then reality came crashing down on my head. The smile quickly faded and I groaned.

"What," Rose asked, looking in my direction.

I shook my head sadly and sighed. "It doesn't matter if you're right Rose, I can't—"

She cut me off before I finished my sentence. "Stop. Be willing to give him a chance."

I looked at her beseechingly. "I wish I could, but I can't. Not right now."

"Why the fuck not?"

"Because—even if you are right—for the next three months, I'm still his teacher."

* * *

**A/N:** So… If you were Edward, would you have thought the same upon hearing that conversation? Was Bella justified in her anger? What do you think will happen next?

Let me know… Reviews are definitely better than Edward's hurtful assumptions.

OK... I'm all for bribing... A short teaser of the next chapter to all who review chapter 5.

Come play with me... A discussion thread has been started for _Take a Little Trip_ in the Twilighted Forum. Feel free to stop by with any questions, comments, suggestions... I'm in the AU-human section...

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488


	6. The Cat's Out of the Bag Now

**A/N: **Thank you guys so much for your love and support! It really means a lot to me that you all care so much about these characters. This should be a good one… The **_Big Reveal_**... yeah, a lot of info is gonna come out here. And if the shit hit the fan in the last chapter, I don't even know how to describe this one! Maybe Bella put it best: The cat is out of the fucking bag now...

And, oh... there's a little surprise in here for all of you who have asked for EPOV... it wasn't planned, but this info needed to come from him and not her, so... well, you'll see.

:)

Thanks to my betas Brandy_D and LaraIsAwkward.

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I've just made each of them human with flaws that come back to bite them in the butt (like the rest of us mortals). Hopefully they can address their past issues and move on now…

* * *

**~/~ November ~/~**

BPOV

Six weeks had passed since that awful afternoon; it was now early November.

Edward had been waiting anxiously for me at my office in order to apologize on the Monday morning following _the incident_, as I liked to refer to it. However, our fledgling friendship had been tentative at best before that misunderstanding, and afterwards… Well, things between Edward and me were definitely strained now. While his accusations that afternoon had been the catalyst, the conversation with Rose had sealed the deal. That conversation made me realize that while I was willing to settle for friendship with Edward, I would _always_ wonder 'what if"… And that was a question that I was not in a position to consider as long as I was his teacher.

So now, I did my best to keep my distance. We no longer shared Friday afternoon coffee, and I tried to keep all of our conversations as professional as possible. It was really fucking hard, because I still felt the electric pull to him each day in class, and I could see the confusion and hurt in his eyes every time I directed our conversations towards 'safe' topics of discussion. I was also desperate to rekindle the connection that we had tentatively established; I really fucking missed talking to my friend. Because of that, every now and then, I'd slip and reveal something personal, like how hurt I had been when I discovered that my mother had come to Seattle for several days to talk with her agent and her editor and hadn't even contacted me, or how I had come home late one night to find my roommate and my boss half-naked on our couch. While Edward seemed to appreciate those moments, I know that they only caused him more confusion. I hated the hot-and-cold treatment I knew I was giving him, but I didn't know what else to do.

Furthermore, I knew that my discomfort with our… _personal_… situation was about to get worse.

We had begun our studies on Shakespearean sonnets this week. This was a topic near-and-dear to my heart, as Edward well knew. We had a shared history involving Shakespearean sonnets, and while I didn't expect him to bring it up, I knew that he would likely be thinking about that day back in high school all those years ago when we worked on those sonnets together. That had been the turning part of our previous relationship. I had a feeling it would be a turning point here, too, albeit for completely different reasons.

Last week, I had asked Jacob to remove my old sonnet from the reading material. When I couldn't adequately explain why I wanted him to do so, he had denied my request—it _had_, after all, won a literary award. So now, my prize-winning sonnet from two years ago would be available for everyone in the class to read. At least Jacob had agreed to not mention that I had written it. Again, he had asked why, but I didn't really have a good answer. Or at least a good answer that I could give to him. I had a good answer—a really fucking good answer: Edward Cullen. Of course, I couldn't tell Jacob that. I just hoped that Edward wouldn't put two and two together when he read that particular poem.

I would find out today.

It was ten o'clock on Wednesday morning, and I was sitting in my office. I was jittery and anxious. I had no real office work to complete, so I was trying to calm my nerves by doing some reading for my own classes. However, I couldn't concentrate; I was too concerned with the stupid fucking sonnet that said way too fucking much. I stood and began pacing, muttering under my breath.

As the minutes ticked down, my stomach began to churn and my head began to throb. Once I started hyperventilating, I knew that today was a lost cause. There was no way in Hell that I could do this. I collapsed onto the couch in the office, sticking my head between my knees in an attempt to breathe. It didn't help; I was gasping for breath, and my heart was pounding way too fucking rapidly, making me completely light-headed.

"Bella?"

I looked up when I heard my name; I had been so locked into my own panic that I hadn't heard Jacob enter the room.

His eyes pinched when our gazes met.

"Are you okay?"

I shook my head, the churning in my stomach increasing in its intensity. As I stared at Jacob, I knew that I wouldn't be able to keep down the meager breakfast I had eaten this morning. I stood quickly to my feet and rushed towards the door.

"I think I'm gonna be sick…"

I barely made it to the bathroom before the contents of my stomach made a very unpleasant reappearance. I sank to the floor in front of the toilet, the cool tile offering relief to my over-heated flesh. Tears ran down my cheeks; I was completely fucking disgusted with my lack of control over my traitorous body.

Jacob was waiting at the office door when I wandered back fifteen minutes later. He took one look at my pale face and told me to go home. I packed up my stuff quickly and left before he could change his mind. Or ask questions that I didn't want to answer.

I headed home. When I got there, I pulled all the shades and climbed into bed. I turned off my phone—I didn't want to be bothered—and set my alarm for 2:00pm; I had to be at work at three o'clock. I buried myself under the comforter and grabbed my pillow, hugging it tightly against my body.

I fucking cried myself to sleep.

* * *

EPOV

As soon as I stepped through the doorway to the classroom, I knew something was wrong. Isabella wasn't there. I didn't even have to look to the empty chair on the front row to confirm that fact; I _felt_ her absence.

After that first awkward day of class, when she so obviously tried to avoid me, I had been surprised by how quickly we had reestablished our old friendship. I was about as surprised by that as I had been by the note I had left on her car when I had seen it this summer. I still can't decide what had spurred me to do that—leave a friendly note on the car of the girl who had broken my heart so thoroughly all those years ago—but I had felt compelled to do so. Yes, Isabella Swan had been my first real love, my first relationship. Although I'm not sure that you could call it a real relationship, since she had worked so hard to keep it secret.

I frowned at that remembrance. So much had changed in the past five years… Isabella had done a complete one-eighty. I had been shocked that first day when I had seen her: gone was the beautiful long hair, fashionable clothing, and snobby, self-assured pretentiousness. She now sported a very unattractive short hair-style, ratty clothing, and a cynical vulnerability that spoke of major life disappointments. The carefree, self-centered Bella was gone, and the girl that remained showed no resemblance to the one she used to be. That was good and bad. Good because that girl, while beautiful, had been too concerned with what everyone else thought. Bad because she somehow seemed broken now, and I didn't want to think of Isabella as broken.

My jealous accusations a few weeks back hadn't helped that particular situation. Up until that point, we had been getting along well. Yes, it had still been slightly awkward, and there were certain things that we didn't speak about, but I had hoped we could somehow get past that. Even after all these years, and despite all the heartbreak from high school, I still had a soft spot in my heart for Isabella Swan. I've heard that it is commonplace to harbor those types of feelings for your first love, but I knew that it was more than just that. That I wanted it to be more than just that.

Unfortunately, it seemed as if I had blown any chance for any sort of reconciliation with my careless words. She had forgiven me as soon as I apologized, offering an apology of her own for yelling at me in return, but things were different now. She was distant, and she made a point of trying to keep things 'professional' as she liked to say, using her position as my 'teacher' to push me away.

I sighed as I took my usual seat in the middle of the classroom, reaching for the handouts that contained our daily assignment and additional reading material. I flipped absently through the pages for a moment, then slowed to look at them more closely. Shakespearean sonnets. A smile reluctantly twitched at the corner of my mouth as I recalled that morning almost five years ago when Isabella had shocked the hell out of me by catching _my_ mistake. That was the first time that I had looked at her as more than a spoiled brat, the first time I realized that there was a brain—an incredibly intelligent brain—behind the beautiful face.

As I placed the handouts on the table in front of me, I wondered why she wasn't here today.

I didn't have much time to think about that as Dr. Black walked to the podium and called the class to order. After a fifteen minute lecture on sonnets in general, and what specifically distinguished a Shakespearean sonnet, we broke up into groups to work on the lesson. We had been provided four sonnets: two written by Shakespeare himself, and two by former students in this class. We had to identify which was which and explain how we could tell. The room was silent as we all read the poems. I had easily decided that poem #1 was written by the master and poem #2 was a very poor attempt by a former student. I was now reading poem #3, and as soon as I read the first line, a feeling of déjà vu surrounded me. From the structure and word choice, to the emotion described, I would swear that it was written by Shakespeare, but there was just something… I moved on to poem #4, which I did identify as one of Shakespeare's works; I recognized it as one I had read previously. So, poem #3 had to be a student-written piece. I re-read it.

It was a poem about unrequited love, and it reminded me very much of Isabella's poem from high school. I recalled that, at the time, I had thought that her poem was visceral and heart wrenching. That sonnet didn't hold a fraction of the raw emotion that was depicted in the one I was now reading. This was a poem about disappointment and regret, mistakes and suppressed emotions, devastation and unfulfilled longing. It was absolutely haunting. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I re-read the words a third time, and picked up on something that I had missed the first two times: a reference to verdant orbs.

Green eyes.

I was having a hard time focusing on the words in front of me, and it took me a moment to realize it was because my hand was shaking. I placed the paper on the table and turned to the other students in my group, but I didn't participate in the discussion other than to log my identification of Shakespeare versus student. I spent the last twenty minutes of class lost in the words on the piece of paper in front of me, analyzing their potential meaning.

At the end of class, Dr. Black confirmed my theories of the student-written poems, and mentioned that the third one had received a literary award at a national competition. However, he didn't mention who had written it. _That_ was something that I needed to know. So I stayed after class. When everyone else had left, I made my way down the stairs to the front of the room. Dr. Black looked up from the lectern when he realized someone was still there.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Cullen?" he asked.

I shuffled on my feet for a moment. Finally, I looked at him and asked, "Did Isabella write that poem?"

His eyes widened briefly and he looked quite taken aback. But he covered his surprise quickly, saying, "I'm not at liberty to discuss the authors."

He continued to look at me for a moment, as if he was sizing me up, then quirked his eyebrows in question. "I'm curious as to why you would think that she wrote that particular poem…"

I sighed and shoved my hand into my hair. Then I shrugged. "She wrote a similar poem back in high school. It just felt like her."

Dr. Black's eyebrows raised further. "You knew Miss Swan in high school?"

"Yeah… I was actually her math tutor for a while, although she ended up schooling me in the ways of Shakespearean sonnets even way back then."

Dr. Black chuckled. "That sounds like Bella. She's quite passionate about this subject…"

I smiled in return and nodded. Her love for Shakespeare was obvious. He looked at me pointedly once again.

"You should ask her about that poem."

I felt that he was telling me something, admitting that she did write it. But he was still looking at me curiously, so I nodded.

"I plan to."

He nodded decisively, then turned back to gather his things. He looked surprised when he turned back around and found me still standing there.

"Was there something else, Mr. Cullen?"

I frowned and shoved my hand through my hair once again. "Do you happen to have Isabella's phone number?" I asked, hesitantly.

Dr. Black looked curiously at me once more, but after a moment, he nodded. "Come on back to my office. But if she asks, you didn't get it from me."

* * *

BPOV

Later that night, I flipped the sign on the door of the coffee shop to 'closed'. It was ten-thirty, and Emmett and I were closing the store. Rose was sitting at one of the bistro tables in front of the window, waiting for us to be done so that she and Emmett could go out. They had been dating since the day after she had brought my jeans to the store; I had given her his number, and she had asked him out the very next day.

Usually, I was happy with the distractions that Rose provided while we cleaned—she was now a regular at the shop at closing time, and the three of us enjoyed chatting happily while Emmett and I cleaned up—but today, I was still irritated and edgy, and I wasn't in the mood to observe their loving exchanges. I was thrilled for her, glad that she finally found someone, but those interactions only served to remind me of what I didn't have in my own life.

Damn that fucking sonnet.

Thirty minutes later, Emmett locked the door behind us after we all exited the building. I waved goodbye to him and Rose as I walked to my car. As soon as I settled behind the wheel, I pulled out my phone and turned it back on for the first time since this morning. I started my car, and as I pulled out onto the road, my phone began beeping, indicating that I had a message. I dialed my voicemail to listen.

I almost dropped the phone when Edward's voice sounded in my ear. I don't know exactly what he wanted; he just mentioned that he was trying to get in touch with me and asked that I please call him back. I erased the message and dropped the phone onto the passenger seat. I wasn't ready to talk to Edward yet. I had no clue why he was calling, but the fact that the first time he called me just _happened_ to be on the same day that the sonnet detailing my unrequited love showed up in the class reading material couldn't be a coincidence. It was too fucking convenient. The only explanation that I could come up with was that he _knew_.

Wait a minute… _How the fuck did he get my number_? I hadn't given it to him.

My brain was working a mile-a-minute, trying to put the puzzle together in my head, but always coming up a piece short. As I was thinking, my phone rang. I snatched it up and glanced at the screen. The incoming call was from a number I did not recognize, but that was vaguely familiar. Somehow, I knew it was him. My hand started shaking again, and my breath caught. I spent so much time staring at the screen that I missed answering the call. A moment later, the phone beeped, registering another voicemail. I hit the send button to retrieve the message. Edward's voice sounded in my ear again, although this time it sounded a bit irritated.

"Isabella, I need to talk to you. Please pick up…"

The phone beeped again while I was listening to the message, indicating an incoming call. I flipped the line.

"Hello," I answered, hesitantly.

"Isabella…" His voice was ragged, uncertain.

"What do you want, Edward?" I asked shortly, not really wanting to know.

"To talk to you…"

"About what?"

"You weren't in class today…"

I really hoped that was the only reason he was calling, so I jumped on that shit, quick-like.

"Are you calling to check on me, Edward Cullen?" I asked in a teasing tone. He grunted in return, so I continued. "I didn't feel well this morning."

"Why? What was wrong?"

That was a question that I didn't want to answer, and my silence must have dragged on for a second too long, because I heard his impatient huff.

"You wrote it." It was a statement, not a question.

_Fuck. He knew…_

"Who told you I wrote it?" I asked warily, inadvertently admitting that I knew what he meant.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

I heard Edward sigh, even through the phone, and I imagined him rolling his eyes.

"No one had to tell me. I just knew…" He paused, then continued in a low, urgent voice. "I knew the moment I read it, because I know you, Isabella. I know your writing. I felt the same way today reading that poem as I did that day back in high school. Only this one was far more intense and heartbreaking, more passionate than that the other one was. This one was more believable, more _real_."

His voice trailed off, and relief washed over me. If he had really only recognized my writing style, I might be able to salvage this. Yet, a frisson of unease passed through me when I replayed his final words in my mind—he had recognized the difference between this poem and the one from all those years ago. I groaned silently. This one _was_ more real, because I had written from experience this time.

"When did you write that poem, Isabella?"

"Two years ago," I finally answered, confirming his suspicion that I had indeed written it. My unease morphed into absolute fucking panic at his next words.

"Verdant orbs… Green eyes…" he mused.

My breath halted.

_Fuck! Oh yeah… He knew it all…_

My hands were shaking badly now, struggling to hold onto both the phone and the steering wheel, failing miserably at both.

He sighed again at my silence, then asked quietly, "Did you write that poem about… me?"

I jumped so badly at his question that I dropped the phone, which was probably answer enough. It clattered to the floor at my feet, terminating the connection. Now that we were here—at this point—I knew that I owed both him and myself more than a simple non-answer. I owed us both the truth. When I came to the next traffic light, I reached down to pick up the phone. I hit the reply button to pull up his number and typed my three-letter answer quickly.

_Yes._

I sent the message before I could consider the repercussions. As soon as it was gone, my heart started racing. The cat was out of the fucking bag now. I turned my phone off, not wanting to talk, needing a few minutes to get a handle on myself. We had been avoiding all discussion of the past for the last three months, but the floodgates had now been opened. It _would_ all come out. Maybe not right now, but because I admitted that I had written that fucking poem, I knew that it was inevitable that we would have to talk. About everything.

As much as I wanted to clear my conscience, I wasn't sure that I was ready for that.

I sighed in frustration as I pulled into my apartment complex. I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my bag before getting out of the car. When I entered the apartment a few moments later, I dropped my bag just inside the door and collapsed to the floor beside it, burying my face in my hands. Now that I was safely ensconced in my home, I allowed the emotions of the day to finally take over. My whole body began to shake and the tears rolled down my cheeks unchecked. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to wallow for as long as I would have liked; a knock on the door immediately jolted me from the abyss of my own self-pity. I frowned in confusion; it was really fucking late. Who the hell would be knocking on my door at eleven-thirty at night?

I was still sitting on the floor, but the knock on the door caused my tears to cease. I wiped my hands across my cheeks as a second knock sounded, more insistent than the first. I turned to look at the door, eyeing it suspiciously. After a moment, I heard a muffled thump, as if something had come to rest against the door. Standing slowly, I looked out the peephole. I took an involuntary step back, my hand coming up to cover my mouth.

It was Edward.

I heard the frustrated irritation in his voice—even through the closed door—when he finally spoke. "I know you're there, Bella. Open the door."

I stepped back to the door and placed my hand hesitantly on the paneled wood before sliding it down to the handle. My heart was racing within my chest as I unlocked the door and slowly cracked it open. He was leaning one hand against the doorjamb, looking straight at me. I raised my eyes to his, hoping that I had wiped away all evidence of my incriminating tears.

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I asked in resignation.

It was really a rhetorical fucking question. I knew _exactly_ what he was doing here.

"Explain."

He didn't need to say anything else. He was staring at me intently, his green eyes blazing. I stared back, searching his eyes, taking in the myriad of emotions revealed in his gaze. It was the absolute fucking confusion I saw there that compelled me to open the door further. With a resigned sigh, I beckoned for him to enter. I turned to walk to the sitting area, and as soon as I heard the _click_ that accompanied the closing door, the electric awareness that I always associated with Edward filled the room. It intensified when his hands came to rest gently on my shoulders, tingles shooting through my entire body. I fucking trembled in response to his touch. My breath caught and held, then left my lungs in a small huff. My shoulders slumped forward and my head dropped.

"What do you want to know?" My voice was small, defeated.

"I want to know everything, Isabella. I don't understand…" His voice trailed off, the confusion evident in his tone.

He dropped his hands, and as affected I had been when they rested on my shoulders, I was more affected by their loss. I felt lost, bereft, without his touch. In that moment, I knew in the bottom of my heart that the game was up, and that I would lay it all on the fucking table. After all this time, I owed it him. Hell, I owed it to us both.

He stepped around in front of me and once again tipped my chin so that I was forced to meet his gaze. His eyes were still full of confusion, but there was something else, something more… Something that gave me hope. I gave an infinitesimal nod, signifying my acquiescence, and though his eyes still bored into mine, brimming with unspoken questions, he smiled slightly.

"Just give me a minute, okay?" I asked, desperate for a few moments in which to compose myself.

I gestured towards the couch, indicating that he should sit down, and I headed down the hall. I ducked into the bathroom, needing a moment for myself. As I was leaving, I glanced in the mirror. It wasn't pretty; I looked exhausted, and it was obvious that I had been crying. I quickly ran a damp washcloth across my face before flipping the light and heading into my bedroom. If we were really going to do this, I wanted to be fucking comfortable. So, I exchanged my jeans for a pair of yoga pants and my button-down shirt for an oversized UW t-shirt.

I stopped in the kitchen on my way back to the front of the apartment, asking Edward if he wanted anything. I took my time retrieving two bottles of water from the refrigerator. Yeah, I was fucking stalling… But I could only drag that shit out for so long, and before I was really ready, I was handing him a bottle and taking my seat next to him on the couch.

We sat in silence for a few minutes. I really didn't know how to start this particular fucking conversation, so I played nervously with the label on my water bottle as I tried to figure out where to start. I was surprised when his hand reached over to still my restless motions. Looking up, I found him watching me curiously.

"Why?" he finally asked.

"Why what?" I asked in confusion.

"Why did you write it?"

I sighed. Knowing that the cat was out of the fucking bag was one thing. Actually admitting the reason was a completely different animal. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, taking a deep breath. When I opened them, he was still studying me. Still waiting for an answer.

"Because that is how I felt."

He continued to look at me pointedly, wanting more clarification, and I huffed again. "The hurt, the loss, the guilt, the longing—the unrequited love… All of it. It was eating away at me, undermining every aspect of my life, and I had to get it the fuck out before it destroyed me."

The last sentence was an angry explosion, and Edward looked surprised by my vehement rant. But the surprise quickly morphed back into confusion.

"Unrequited love?" he asked hesitantly.

I sighed again and looked down to my lap. Once our eye contact was broken, I nodded.

His next question was even more hesitant. It was whispered so quietly that I had to strain to hear it.

"For me?"

I nodded again, stiltedly.

He raised a hand and tilted my chin so that we were once again looking at each other. He looked shocked, and I was fucking terrified by what might be revealed in my eyes at that moment.

"You never told me." He looked at me accusingly.

"I was too late…" I closed my eyes again, remembering back to that fateful August morning over four years ago when I had arrived early to school so that I could talk to him. I shuddered in response to the memory of the absolute fucking agony that had torn through my body in the moment I realized that he had moved on from me. That he had found someone willing to give him what I couldn't.

"What do you mean?"

The confusion in his voice pulled me back to the present, and I opened my eyes to find him staring intently at me. The pain tore through me once again. I stared into his eyes for a moment. They were resolute. He wanted the fucking details? Fine… I'd give him the fucking details. I'd give him more than just details, I'd give him the whole fucking truth…

"Do you remember the first day of school senior year?" I asked.

He nodded. I looked at him sadly and took a deep breath before plunging into the terrifying waters of confession.

"I waited for you that morning. I had spent the entire previous month thinking about what you told me on the phone after I ran into Alice at the movies. You were right that day. You deserved better. I respected that decision, so I left you alone. I quickly realized how much I missed you, but it took me a little longer to realize why. I was going to tell you that morning."

He looked away and groaned. "And I showed up with Angela."

"Yes. And then, when I talked to you in class, you reminded me that she did what I hadn't done…" I looked him straight in the eye. "She. Chose. You. You moved on, Edward. You found someone else, someone who chose you without hesitation. You were _happy_. Hell… You _deserved_ to be happy, and I knew it. I wasn't gonna fuck with that… So, I decided to _not_ say anything." My hands moved wildly to emphasize my points.

He was staring at me again, his gaze piercing me with its intensity. His voice was hard when he spoke again. "What exactly are you telling me, Isabella?"

I just gaped at him. _How could he not understand what I was telling him? After all that I just said, not to mention my incriminating written words, didn't he get it?_

"Why did you not want to tell me how you felt?" he prodded.

_No, he didn't fucking understand._ I thought that I had laid it all out there, but obviously he needed to hear the damn words. Besides, maybe it was time for me to finally express them.

"_Because_ I loved you," I stated simply.

He stopped breathing, his eyes spearing mine. I could feel the waves of emotion emanating from him—the surprise, the shock, the confusion. So I clarified my simple statement.

"And because I loved you, I wanted you to be happy… You _deserved_ better than me. You were the most important person to me—probably the only true friend I ever had—but I wasn't willing to stand up for that; I gave into the peer pressure of appearances. You deserved so much more…"

I shrugged sadly. Yet somehow, just by verbalizing my feelings—saying it out loud—the overbearing weight that I had been carrying around was finally lifted from my shoulders. For the first time in over four years, I felt free.

The look on Edward's face was devastated, agonized. "No, I didn't," he whispered.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"I didn't deserve better," he answered quietly, breaking our eye contact and shoving his hands back into his hair with a frustrated groan.

"What do you mean?" I asked, totally baffled.

"Well, since we are confessing here…" He paused, seemingly debating with himself, then sighed heavily before tugging on his hair in obvious frustration. He looked back to me with sad eyes.

"I didn't handle that situation all that well… I saw the hurt in your eyes that day, and I _liked_ it. After being hurt by you, I relished the fact that I could hurt you, too. Every time I saw you when I was with Angela, I made sure to rub it in. All of that PDA senior year was an effort to show you what you had missed out on. I even took the opportunity to shove it in your face when you were leaving Forks. I saw you that day and knew you were moving, so…" He shrugged and looked away, an embarrassed expression on his face. But then he turned back, an earnestly imploring look in his eyes. "Bella… I swear… I had no clue how you really felt. If I had known, I never would have rubbed it in your face like that. Hell, if I had known, I probably wouldn't have stayed with Angela…"

I frowned.

"Isabella," I stated.

"What?" he asked.

"I like it when you call me Isabella," I reminded him quietly.

A smile ghosted across his lips for a fraction of a second, and I'm sure that like me, he was remembering a similar conversation that we'd had years earlier. However, that smile was quickly replaced with another tortured grimace. He groaned again, and then sighed my name.

"Isabella…"

I closed my eyes and let the sound of his richly melodic voice speaking my name smooth over me.

"I'm so sorry," he continued.

I looked at him sadly. "No, Edward, you have nothing to be sorry for. This is all on me—I'm the one who should be sorry. If I had been brave enough to tell you how I felt in the first place, none of this shit would have happened."

We sat in silence for a while, each of us lost in our own thoughts, reliving the past. My head fell back against the cushion of the couch as I wondered about how everything had gotten so fucked up. Then I remembered that it was all because of my own insecurities. At least it was out in the open now… As that thought crossed my mind, I was once again struck by the sense of freedom that came from finally telling Edward how I had really felt all those years ago. I lolled my head to the side to look at him. He looked just as lost as I felt. His head fell back against the couch like mine as he looked at me in return.

"What now?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know. This is all a lot to take in, huh?"

He nodded. "A lot of water under the bridge…"

I smiled briefly in response; they were the same words he used on the first day of class. "More than either of us realized, I suspect."

We continued to stare at each other for a few minutes. Things were changing between us; I could feel the shift in the atmosphere, and the longer we stared, the heavier the air became. I was finding it difficult to breathe and felt the need to diffuse the situation. I sighed, then spoke the words that had been heavy on my heart for the past six weeks.

"I miss you, Edward."

His eyes flared at my words, and I had a feeling that my attempt to make things less serious had only served to make it more so. I hurried to continue, to clarify.

"I miss talking to you. I've been so lost for the last few years; I've changed so fucking much, but I don't really know why, and I think that I lost myself in the process. Spending time with you… Well, I was finally starting to feel like _me_ again. And then…" My sentence trailed off, and I gestured absently with my hands.

"And then I had to go make some pretty awful accusations."

"In hindsight, I know what that conversation must have sounded like. I was just pissed off that you would assume rather than ask. But I guess that with our history, with all the miscommunication, it was inevitable. We've never talked about what we were feeling or what we expected from each other until it was too late…"

He smiled wryly at me. "No more miscommunication, okay? From here on out, we say what we think. And if I have a question, I'll ask. I expect the same of you, too."

I nodded, and he once again reached over to brush my hand with his. My breath caught at the wave of sensation that radiated up my arm following the intimate contact. I sucked my lower lip between my teeth and gnawed gently. His gaze dropped to my mouth, his eyes darkening as he watched my teeth work the tender flesh of my lip. He groaned softly, and my heart jumped at the sound. My breath caught at the look in his eyes, and I bit down harder on my lip in an effort to not make a noise.

"Isabella…"

My name was an erotic request rolling off his tongue. I didn't exactly know what he was asking for, but I knew that I wanted to fulfill whatever it was. Unable to contain it, a small whimper escaped my chest. His eyes snapped to mine.

"I'm going to kiss you now…"

Even in my highly aroused state, it didn't escape my notice that this was the exact phrase he had used when he had kissed me for the first time all those years ago. And I wanted it. I wanted him to kiss me. Really. Fucking. Badly. I was practically panting with desire. I needed to know if that spark was still there.

He leaned towards me, and his eyelids fluttered shut. My lips parted in anxious anticipation, but just before his mouth reached mine, I remembered why we couldn't do this. I raised my hand to his chest, pushing gently, groaning softly.

"Wait."

His eyes opened to look at me in confusion.

"We can't." Disappointment dripped from my voice.

The confusion in his eyes was replaced by hurt. His eyes turned wary as he registered my rejection.

"Not yet…" I quickly clarified, digging my fingers into his shirt so that he couldn't pull away. He needed to understand this. The confusion returned to his eyes, and I groaned again in absolute frustration. I raised my hand to cup his jaw.

"Edward, I want you to kiss me really fucking badly. I want it more than anything I can ever remember wanting in my life. But until the semester is over…" I shrugged helplessly. "I don't know what the rules are concerning relationships between teaching assistants and students, but I don't want to take any chances. I want to make sure that I do this the right way. That _we_ do it right this time. No more secrets."

I watched as realization dawned in his eyes, as the confusion morphed to understanding. As his desire morphed into a frustration that matched my own. I smiled at him, stroking my thumb across his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into my hand, tilting his head so that he could brush his lips against my palm. My breath caught at the sight and feel of his tongue tasting my skin. I groaned in frustrated longing. When he opened his eyes, they were a shade of green that I had never seen before—blazing bright, yet dark with suppressed desire. That look made my toes curl and induced a surge of wetness between my legs that instantly soaked my panties.

God, I wanted him. I wanted him in a way that I had never wanted anything or anyone else before. And I had to fucking wait.

_Shit!_

It was going to be a really fucking long month.

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**A/N:** OK… So, a lot of the shit from the past is in the open now. Anticipation is a bitch, isn't it? But hey… I gotta keep you coming back for more somehow, right? LOL.

What did you think? Reviews are far better than unrequited love poems.

Bribery anyone? Another preview for all who review...

And please, don't worry. You won't have to wait long... I promise that the semester will come to a close in the next chapter, and that there will be no more hindrances. Well... well at least from that angle (I can't promise that life will never throw them another loop).

A discussion thread for TaLT has been started in the Twilighted AU-Human forum. Got any questions, suggestions, comments, or theories? Come play with me…

www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

I'll post additional teasers there periodically as well…

Oh... I've gone and joined Twitter since that seems to be a way that everyone here keeps in contact... come follow me if you are interested in updates and progress: **KristenLynn1121**


	7. Anticipation Is a Bitch

**A/N:** As I began writing this chapter, the song that started it all was playing on my iPod, causing me to smile. Don't know if this 'Trip' would've been the same if a different song had pulled up on my shuffle that day!

Thanks again to all who have read, reviewed, and tagged this story. I really appreciate your support! I've had a lot of questions/comments in reviews that I have tried my best to answer, but if you're looking for some more rationale/discussion, be sure to come check out the TaLT discussion thread on the Twilighted Forum. We've had some detailed discussions there concerning Edward/Angela, Bella's emotional state, reasons why it's necessary that they wait a bit before jumping into a relationship, and unrequited love poetry (yes… I have posted some there—not Bella's sonnet, but the poem that served as the inspiration for it). Come play with me!

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Thanks to my betas laraisawkward, Brandy_D, and moonlightdreamer33

**Disclaimer:** Bella, Edward, Jake, Rose and Emmett (and Jasper and Alice) all belong to Stephenie Meyer. I've just sent them to college, given them jobs, and allowed them to make some human mistakes. Hopefully, they'll begin to rectify some of them here…

: )

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**~/~ December ~/~**

The final week of the semester seemed to drag on interminably. At this point in time, Edward and I were both counting the minutes until his classes were done and I would no longer be his teaching assistant. Of course, as luck would have it, that particular class was his last scheduled exam of the semester. Stupid fucking fate…

While we had both been anxious for the semester to finally come to a close after our talk in early November, I realized that the past five weeks had provided us with a lot of time in which to reconnect at the friendship level. We had spent the better part of November and December getting to know each other again by talking. _Really_ talking. About anything and everything. Because that is all we could fucking do. While Friday afternoon coffee had become our habit again, we were hesitant to spend too much time together outside of school until the semester was over. Just to be safe. So, most of our talking was done via the phone these days; Edward called me every night, even if it was just to say goodnight when I was on my way home from work.

In only a few weeks, my relationship with Edward had transformed me. I felt more confident in myself, I laughed a lot more, I started paying attention to my appearance again, and while I still took school incredibly fucking seriously, I had learned to make a little time for myself and my friends. This had been a result of a surprising conversation with Edward one Friday afternoon a few weeks back about my family, which had spurred some serious fucking introspection.

"_Are you going home for Thanksgiving?" he asked._

"_Are you kidding me? Hell, no! Why the fuck would I want to go home? I'm hanging here with Rose—she's a lot more fun. We're gonna cook, then watch girlie movies and eat leftovers all weekend." I sighed blissfully, thinking of a weekend with absolutely nothing to do._

"_But what about your family?" he prodded. "Won't they miss you?" _

_I looked at him in confusion. "Shit, Edward… I haven't been home for Thanksgiving since I started college. They're probably glad to be rid of me. They never call, and any time I call home, my mother is never there, anyways. She'll probably spend the entire weekend at the fucking library, doing 'research' for her next novel."_

_He looked surprised by my obvious disapproval of my mother's career choice. He started at me pointedly._

"_What?" I snapped in response to his incredulous look._

_He shot an ironic smile in my direction. "It's just funny…"_

"_What's funny?" _

"_Don't get mad at me here, but… " He paused, as if deciding how to phrase what he wanted to say. As the silence dragged on, I looked at him pointedly. He held his hand up to me in a pleading gesture. "Well…You are a lot like your mother."_

"_What do you mean?" I demanded, instantly defensive. I was nothing like my mother, who was always lost in her own little world to the exclusion of all else. Including me._

_Edward rolled his eyes and snorted. "I can't believe you don't see it."_

_I crossed my arms and scowled at him._

"_Okay, okay…" he laughed. "Seriously, though… I mean, you've chosen to get a doctorate in Literature. You write. She writes. Granted, what you work on is different, but still…"_

_He was looking at me expectantly, but I just shook my head in response. I didn't know where he was going with this._

_He was looking pensive. "Then again, maybe it's not all that different. She writes romance, right?"_

_I nodded, still frowning._

"_Well, that's all about relationships and intrigue. Shakespeare was a master at that—especially writing about failed or doomed relationships. He was all about sex and love, betrayal and deception… I mean, look at your poetry—unrequited love, desire… That's romance. Dark, granted, but still romance." _

_He looked at me pointedly and I began to feel distinctly uncomfortable. He continued._

"_And finally, you have locked yourself away from life for the past four years, using your studies as an excuse to __**not**__ do things with your friends and family, which is exactly what you complain about her doing."_

_My jaw dropped. He was right. I was more like my mother than I had ever imagined. I would have to think carefully about what that might mean. I had never been supportive of her, always making fun of what she did. But she obviously loved it, just like I loved Shakespeare and the classics._

_I sighed. _

_Maybe it was time to read some of her stuff, just to see what it was all about…_

That conversation had led to one about his family as well. We already talked regularly about his parents—especially his father and his recovery—but we had studiously avoided talking about his sister for the past several months. I was worried about Alice, about how she would react to any relationship that Edward and I established. Things had ended badly between us back in high school, and I knew that I had hurt her feelings very badly with my callous behavior. Edward confessed, somewhat hesitantly, that I was on Alice's shit list; I had hurt both her and her brother, and she was holding a massive grudge. We would have to tread lightly in the future.

We had also talked about our previous relationships. That had been another uncomfortable, yet necessary, conversation. That discussion had made me realize I had never had a healthy relationship. I had dated Mike Newton for two years in high school, but it had been for all the wrong reasons. At sixteen, it had been hard to determine what the right reasons were, and I had gone with what was expected and had caved to the peer pressure; cheerleader and football player had been reason enough back then. It had taken meeting Edward to show me what was lacking in my first relationship. But I had ruined that opportunity as well; our early relationship had been tainted by my unwillingness to fully commit to Edward, and I had lost him because of it.

Losing Edward had done a number on my self-esteem, even if I hadn't acknowledged it at the time. I had gritted my teeth and plowed through high school, accepting an occasional date, but never fostering any sort of relationship. When I had gotten to college, I figured that I could start anew. And I had. Kind of… Three weeks into the fall semester, I had met James Stephens. In typical Bella Swan fashion, I had gone for the cocky, pretty-boy jock, because at the time, I was still 'pretty'. James was a football player, a junior, and it had been easy to fall back into something familiar. Unfortunately—or maybe fortunately—it hadn't taken me very long to realize that I wasn't the only one with whom he was sharing his bed; I had decided to surprise him one afternoon and walked into his dorm room to find him in bed with some skanky, red-headed bitch. To make things worse, she had been a cheerleader. After that experience, my self-esteem had dropped even further, and I had started to let myself go, not feeling worthy of physical beauty or any sort of romantic relationship. The drunken one-night stand that I had stumbled into at a frat party that Rose had dragged me to at the beginning of sophomore year had only solidified my self-loathing; I didn't remember even getting his name. How fucked up was that? I hadn't made any attempt to date since then.

Edward had also had a series of only somewhat successful relationships. He admitted to me that he had accepted Angela's initial invitation as a knee-jerk reaction to my apparent rejection. They had dated for quite a while, and he really had cared for her—loved her even—but he admitted that after they broke up, he realized that he had never felt about her the way he had felt about me, although he had tried to convince himself otherwise. That hadn't stopped him from sleeping with her, though; just one more thing she had gotten to experience with him that I hadn't. He had briefly dated some chick named Tanya sophomore year, and he'd had a relatively serious relationship that spanned his entire junior year. He and Jane had grown apart following Dr. Cullen's accident, when Edward decided that he would transfer back home, but they hadn't officially broken up until the middle of the summer. Edward had admitted, somewhat sheepishly, that he had broken things off with her the day that he left the note on my car. Part of me thrilled at that knowledge. The other part of me was terrified.

So much was riding on our budding relationship, for both of us. If it didn't work out this time…

It was now Friday morning, a week before Christmas, and I was sitting at my desk with a stack of final exams. Classes had ended two days ago and final grades needed to be submitted by this afternoon, so Jacob and I were rushing to finish grading papers. The Shakespearean Literature exam had been Wednesday afternoon—the last fucking exam of the semester—and we were now grading those tests; I had the multiple choice and short answer portion of the exams, while Jacob was grading the essay portion. I quickly worked my way through the stack of papers, anxious to be done with this.

I was anxious to meet Edward.

Right at noon, I rose from my desk and crossed the common office area carrying the stack of graded exams. Jacob looked up as I propped myself against his door.

"Done?" he asked.

"Yup," I replied, handing the tests to him, feeling incredibly fucking relieved as soon as the papers were out of my hand.

I was free.

He smiled as he retrieved them from me. "Well, the semester's officially over now…"

I smiled in return and nodded at him. He continued to look me with a curious expression. When I quirked my eyebrows in question, he glanced to his watch with a knowing smile.

"It's noon, and it's Friday. Don't you have a coffee date with Mr. Cullen?"

I looked at him in shock and confusion, and he chuckled at my expression.

"Oh c'mon, Bella. You've been having coffee with him every Friday afternoon for weeks…"

He looked at me questioningly, as if waiting for me to confirm this fact. I remained stoically silent, although my insides were fucking churning.

He sighed when he realized I wasn't going to answer. "It's not a sin for a TA to socialize with the students." He paused, quirking an eyebrow at me and studying me intently. With another knowing smile, he continued. "But I have a feeling that there is more than just coffee going on between the two of you."

"No there isn't," I stated emphatically.

He looked at me pointedly. I fucking huffed in response.

"Not yet, anyways," I relented. "We're waiting for the semester to be over."

He nodded and a small smile twitched at the corner of his lips. "That's what I figured. He mentioned that you knew each other in high school, something about you schooling him in the ways of Shakespeare even way back then…"

I frowned. "When did he tell you that?"

He was still looking at me curiously, knowingly. "The day of the sonnets …" He paused, cocking his head to the side. "He asked if you wrote that poem, by the way…"

I nodded slightly, beginning to feel uncomfortable with the intensity of his questioning gaze.

"You wrote it about _him_, didn't you?" he asked softly, and I stiffened in response.

"Why would you ask that?" I asked, instantly defensive.

He sighed. "I can put two and two together, Bella… First you ask to remove the sonnet from the reading list without any good reason—after you had been happy to let me use it for the past two years. You got sick that morning and missed class. The next day, too. Then Mr. Cullen stays after class to ask if _you_ wrote that particular poem. The look on his face told me what I needed to know, but when he asked for your number…"

"He asked you for my phone number?" I asked.

_Well, at least that explained how he had gotten it._

Jacob nodded.

"And you gave it to him." It was a statement, not a question.

He nodded again.

"Why?"

He looked at me intently for a minute, and then sighed. "He makes you happy."

I was a bit taken aback by his statement, and I'm sure my shock showed on my face because he chuckled once again.

"I've known you for almost four years now, Bella. You've buried yourself in your work, you write really angst-ridden material, and you have very few friends. You're closed off, and you don't talk to anyone. But I've noticed a change in you this semester, and those changes correlated with when you started having coffee with Mr. Cullen. And I'm not talking about last month… The changes started back at the beginning of the semester."

I was completely fucking floored by his entire assessment. And incredibly fucking scared about what the implications might be for both Edward and myself. But as I searched Jacob's face, expecting to find condemnation, all I found was that quirky, knowing smile and an _accepting_ look.

"The semester's over, Bella. All the papers are graded; your role as teaching assistant is done for the year. Go… have fun." He shooed me away with his hands.

I smiled in relief and turned to walk back to my office to grab my bag. When I emerged, Jacob was still standing there.

"Have a Merry Christmas, Bella. See you next semester."

"Thanks, Jacob."

"Anytime." He winked at me. "Go."

I went.

~/~

Edward was waiting at our usual Friday table when I finally made it to the cafeteria at twelve-fifteen. Impatiently waiting, I might add; his leg was bobbing and his fingers were tapping the table-top in agitation. He was watching the entrance intently and relief washed across his features when I walked through the door. He smiled widely as I slid into the chair across from him.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologized.

"I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it." He eyed me with a mock scowl.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Gotta love grading exams… I just now finished."

"I got an 'A', right?" he asked, completely serious.

I laughed. "I don't know how you did on the essay portion, but I think you probably passed the multiple choice and short answer section."

"Only passed?" he asked, incredulous.

I laughed again, and we spent the next few minutes talking about class and exams. But once we were done with that topic, the atmosphere changed and the air became heavier—an underlying tension that was impossible to ignore surrounded us. We fell quiet and just stared, communicating silently with our eyes. He reached across the table to brush my hand with his own, and I jumped in response to the spark of awareness that radiated up my arm. I gasped slightly, and his green eyes blazed in response to my obvious reaction.

"You want to get out of here? Find some lunch?" he asked, squeezing my fingers gently.

I knew he was asking about more than just lunch. He was asking if I was ready to take the next step in out relationship. If I was ready… I continued to stare at him as I answered.

"Yes," I whispered fervently, answering all of the questions that he was asking.

He stood, and without releasing my hand, he tugged me to my feet. Holding hands for the first time, we walked from the room. My entire hand tingled from where our fingers were intertwined. A warmth spread from my hand up my arm, and then throughout my entire body. I was filled with a sense of contentment, yet at the same time, it was complete fucking torture. My whole body started to tremble. I knew he felt that shit, too, because his hand squeezed mine gently again as we left the building.

Anticipation was a fucking bitch.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked as we crossed the quad and headed towards our cars, which were parked in the commuter lot on the far side of the campus.

I squeezed his hand in return and flashed a small, shy smile at him. "I don't care as long as I'm with you."

He stopped suddenly, causing me to stumble into him. His arms snaked around my waist as he spun me around so that we were facing each other. He looked intently at me, his emerald eyes brimming with liquid fire.

"You don't know how long I've waited to hear you say that. How long I've waited for you…"

"Yes, I do," I stated simply as I dropped my bag at my feet.

I did know. I felt the same anticipation that he did because I had waited just as long for this moment. Yet, at the same time, it was more than just that… Everything was different this time. _I_ was different this time, and I needed him to understand. I raised my hands so that they rested on his shoulders. Maintaining our eye contact, I purposely used the same phrase that he had used in the past.

"I'm going to kiss you now."

I pushed my hands into his hair and gently tugged his head down to mine. His arms tightened around my body, pulling me closer, and he groaned softly as my lips brushed lightly, tentatively, across his. The breath I hadn't realized I was holding rushed out of my lungs with a _whoosh_ and a soft moan. He pulled back slightly, tilting his forehead to rest against mine, and I tightened my fingers around the silky strands of his hair, trying to pull him closer, desperate for more contact.

"Bella…" He groaned my name; it was a torturously delicious sound of longing and desire, and I felt the cool breeze of his rapid breath caress my lips.

And suddenly, we were kissing. _Really kissing_. Lips smashed together, tongues clashing, noses bumping, ragged breathing, _can't get enough_, kissing.

I was pressed against his chest, captured by his clinging arms and roving hands, yet held completely captive by his questing lips and teasing tongue. I wrapped my hands more tightly in his hair and tugged at his auburn locks, pulling him closer to me. It wasn't enough. I wanted, no… _needed_, more. Inching closer, I brought our entire bodies into closer contact, reveling in the feel of his hard chest and thighs pressed firmly against my own. I whimpered softly as his tongue withdrew from my mouth. My frustrated sounds morphed into soft sighs when he captured my bottom lip between his teeth and nipped gently, then soothed the tender skin with his hot, wet tongue. I breathed him into my nose and my mouth, surrounding myself—filling myself—with his essence.

With a throaty groan, his mouth recaptured mine, softly this time, almost reverently. I sighed in contentment, parting my lips, allowing his tongue reentrance into my mouth. This kiss was slow and sweet, an unhurried exploration. My fingers stroked at his silky hair, and his hands moved to grip my waist tightly, pulling me even closer. A warm feeling of contentment spread through my entire being, radiating from every place where our bodies touched, which, at this moment, was pretty much fucking everywhere. The evidence of his arousal pressed insistently into my stomach. I shifted restlessly against him, purposely rubbing against his hard length, the friction causing him to groan again into my mouth. I moaned breathlessly in response.

We were torn from the comforting oblivion of our erotic encounter by the sound of a wolf-whistle. Not to mention, the various catcalls; I think I heard some tell us to 'get a room'. I pulled away from him reluctantly. While I was a bit embarrassed to be the center of attention in this particular manner, I found it ironic and somehow symbolic that, after all the hiding we had done in the past—at my insistence—the first kiss of our new relationship had been conducted in such a public place. We were making out in the center of campus, easily visible to anyone and everyone. I only hoped that he recognized the true significance of what had just occurred.

No more secrets.

I looked up to him, my face pink with embarrassment, but knowing that my eyes were blazing with unfulfilled longing. He squeezed me slightly, smiling knowingly in return, and I knew that he felt the same way. Leaning down, he brushed his lips across mine one final time before he took a step back and relinquished his death-grip on my waist. I whimpered at the loss of contact.

In an obvious attempt to break the lingering sexual tension, he jokingly said, "Well, now that _that_ is out of the way…"

I laughed in response. But I knew what he meant… Anticipation for that kiss had been building for weeks. Oh, Hell… anticipation for that kiss had been building all fucking semester.

I knew what his next statement would be, so I jumped in to complete his thought. "Let's go find some lunch."

He smiled in response as he reached down to pick up my forgotten bag. Recapturing my hand, he gave it a squeeze and a slight tug, and we resumed our trek across the quad hand-in-hand.

No more secrets.

~/~

At ten-thirty on the dot, Rose came strolling through the door to the store. She flipped the sign to _closed_ and turned the lock on the door before walking over to where Emmett and I had just started the closing routine behind the counter. I had been floating around in a cloud of Edward-induced euphoria all evening, and all it took was one glance from Rose for my cheeks burst into heated flame. Her eyes narrowed in contemplation, but a knowing smile emerged on her lips.

"Something happened," she stated. It wasn't a question. She stared at me for a moment, nodded, then turned to my boss. "Emmett—you're gonna have to handle this shit by yourself for a few minutes. Bella and I _need_ to talk. Now," she demanded when I made to protest her request.

She shot him a look that demanded no argument. He just shrugged in response, so she grabbed my arm, dragging me from the main room of the store. Pulling me forcefully to the break room, Rose deposited me in one of the chairs at the small table in the room and took one on the opposite side. She looked at me knowingly and I felt the heat spread from my cheeks to my ears and neck.

"Okay… The semester is fucking over now. Which means that you are no longer Edward's teacher… And by the look on your face… Well it's obvious that _something_ happened. What?" she asked eagerly.

Her feet were tapping impatiently, much like Edward's had been earlier in the day. She was grinning widely, and my blush deepened—although how the fuck that was possible at this point, I didn't know. I ducked my head to avoid her knowing gaze. Unfortunately, that did not appear to be a successful avoidance tactic. I heard the impatient expectation in her voice when she spoke again.

"Spill it, Bella."

I sighed, and then raised my gaze to hers. Her eyes widened in response to whatever she saw reflected there, and I heard her quickly indrawn breath.

"He kissed you!" she exclaimed.

I corrected her. "_I _kissed _him_."

Rose, of all people, would understand the significance of that statement—she was the only person who knew the whole story of my history with Edward. Her already huge smile expanded even further, and her body began bouncing.

"And…" she prodded, practically bouncing herself right out of the chair.

I sighed again, this time in longing. "Oh, God… it was so much better than I remember it ever being before."

Having the first kiss of our new relationship take place in such a public place was only one of the reasons that it felt so much better—more intense—than I ever remember our encounters being in the past. There had been an intensity, a longing, a _need_, in that kiss that I had never experienced before, even with Edward. I couldn't control the smile that exploded across my face at the memory of that blistering kiss. I spent a few minutes reliving those moments in the quad. Everything was different now… our relationship was out in the open.

Rose's voice eventually pulled me from my reverie. "Details, Bella. I want the fucking details!" she demanded.

I spent the next fifteen minutes telling Rose all the details about that kiss. When, where, why… Because she knew the history, I also knew that she would also appreciate why the fact that our fist kiss had happened in such a public place was so important. And how everything was changing.

Our conversation was interrupted when we heard the front door chime, announcing the fact that someone had just entered the store. It was almost eleven o'clock; the store had been closed for almost half-an-hour, and Rose had locked the door behind herself when she had entered. We both quickly rose and hurried to the front to see who Emmett had admitted. As we pushed though the back door, my feet stuttered to a stop when I found Edward standing inside the door laughing with Emmett. I was surprised to see him because we had agreed that I would call when I got off work. At my sudden stop, Rose plowed into me from behind, practically knocking me over. She smiled smugly when she saw who Emmett was talking to—she had met Edward briefly five weeks ago when she had returned home late that fateful Wednesday evening to find us still talking on the couch. She nudged me forward, walking with me. Seeing the movement, Edward turned to me with a crooked, heart-stopping, beautiful smile.

"Hey," I greeted him, somewhat shyly, when I finally came to a halt next to him. The anticipatory tension was still there, possibly even more evident now that we had finally taken the first step to move our relationship forward.

"Hey," he replied softly. He bent down to brush his lips gently against my forehead and reached out to grasp my fingers. The now-familiar electric tingles radiated up my arm, causing me to shiver pleasantly.

He had already introduced himself to Emmett, so I re-introduced Rose, who acknowledged him with a nod and a wide smile. Emmett was done with the cleaning, so Rose grabbed his arm and frog-marched him out of the main store, leaving us alone.

"Hey," I started again, surprisingly nervous about suddenly finding myself alone with him for the first time since _the kiss_.

"Hey…"

We just stared for a moment, grinning like stupid fucking idiots, holding hands and not saying anything. Eventually I started laughing. As soon as his chuckles joined mine, I immediately relaxed. I squeezed his fingers and raised my arm so that we were both focused on our joined hands.

"Well, this is probably gonna take some time getting used to…" I finally managed to say around my nervous laughing.

My words were loaded with many implications. From new relationship jitters to overcoming our past mistakes, they were implications that I knew he would understand. He was getting ready to say something, but just as he opened his mouth, the door to the back of the store flew open and Rose and Emmett reentered the room. Rose was carrying my stuff—I didn't even want to know how she had gotten into my locker—and she tossed my bag to me with a wink as she walked past me and opened the front door.

We all followed her into the night, Emmett turning off the lights and locking the door behind him. Rose tossed a smile and a "Have a good weekend" over her shoulder as she and Emmett walked to their cars. She had been spending weekends at his place since they had started dating, and I didn't expect to see her again before Sunday night. I watched them drive away, then turned back to look at Edward.

Suddenly, we were alone again. Without the potential of any sort of audience this time.

I raised my gaze to meet his. His eyes smoldered, spewing intense emerald flames in my direction. My breath caught at the unspoken promises that I detected there. He stepped forward purposefully, his hand snaking around my waist in order to yank me into his embrace. Once again, my bag dropped to the ground at my feet and my hands found their way into the silky strands of his copper-colored hair, tugging his head down towards my own. My lips parted with a ragged sigh when his mouth met mine. He took advantage of that situation and plunged his tongue inside without any prelude. He groaned deeply as soon as our tongues touched. I moaned in response.

This kiss was different from the first two we had shared—it was rough and raw, a desperate clashing of mouths and tongues.

It was atonement for four years of wasted time and missed opportunities.

We spent several minutes kissing passionately, sucking on tongues and nipping at lips, neither of us able to get enough. When we finally pulled apart, we were both breathing heavily. He smiled at me gently as he reached up to cup my cheek, running his thumb across my lower lip. My tongue darted out to suck the tip into my mouth. His eyes flared when I bit down gently.

"So, what do you want to do now?" he finally asked, relinquishing my face and bending down to pick up my bag for the second time today. We walked to my car, and when I reached the driver's side door, I reached out to take my bag from him.

"Well… I know that we agreed earlier that we would go out tonight and celebrate finally _going public_, but in all honesty—and I hope you're not disappointed by this—I really just want to go home," I stated as I unlocked the door and tossed my bag onto the passenger seat.

He frowned, confused. "Huh?"

"I've been out and about all day. I haven't seen my apartment since seven-thirty this morning. I'm exhausted. I just want to change my clothes and get comfortable, then sit on my couch and do nothing tonight."

His confusion morphed into a somewhat hurtful expression. "Okay… I understand."

The scowl on his face belied his assertion. I laughed at his obvious misunderstanding of my meaning, and his scowl spread.

"No you don't," I stated, still laughing.

"I don't what?" he asked, irritated.

"You don't understand."

"Well, Bella, would you like to enlighten me?" His voice was clipped, and he crossed his arms across his chest in a very petulant manner.

Oh yeah… he was fucking irritated. His non-use of my given name alerted me to that fact. I snorted loudly when I attempted to hold in my over-exuberant laughter.

"You're coming with me," I stated.

"Huh?"

I rolled my eyes. "I. Want. You. To. Come. Home. With. Me." I enunciated each word carefully.

Realization and relief spread across his face, and the beautiful, crooked smile made an instant reappearance. His eyes blazed with the same bright, yet simultaneously dark, color that I had noticed the night we sat on my couch together and talked about our past. In just a few minutes we would be back on that couch. I wouldn't stop him this time.

He leaned down to brush his lips lightly across mine one more time before he stepped away from me. I slipped into the driver's seat.

"Isabella?"

His voice stopped me from pulling my door closed. I looked back up to his face in question. The smile that I loved so much still graced his lips.

"I'll be right behind you," he whispered.

The fervent promise in his voice caused my heart to trip up in my chest. I nodded and smiled at him in return.

As soon as he got in his car, I started my own, and carefully backed out of the parking lot. Once I got onto the main road, however, it was a different story. Because my father was the Chief of Police back at home in Forks, I always abided by the traffic laws. But tonight, for the first time in my life, I broke the speed limit. I _needed_ to get home.

The headlights twinkling in my rearview mirror drove me on, fed my urgency, and fueled my desperately impatient desire.

The quicker I got home, the better.

I was tired of waiting.

* * *

**A/N:** *sigh* So the semester is over and the first kiss is out of the way! What did you guys think? Edward and Bella really want to know. Please hit that little green button... Reviews are better than kisses from Edward (OK, maybe not. But hey, I don't have access to Rob's lips, so make my heart beat speed up with your love!).

Questions or comments, or looking for additional TaLT teasers? Come play at the discussion thread:

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

I'm on Twitter: KristenLynn1121

Hope you guys all had a wonderful Valentine's Day. If not, or if you hate that holiday, be sure to go check out the entries in the Anti-Valentine's Day contest. No HEA's allowed! I have an entry there, but the contest is anonymous, so I can't tell you which one is mine. Go read, review and vote. Voting is open for the next two weeks.

http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~antivalentinesoscontest

Thanks!

KL


	8. Get Your Facts Straight

**A/N:** Wow! What can I say? *ducks head and blushes* Really… Just, wow! Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. You guys are the best! I appreciate every comment/review that you all have left.

Just a quick warning: this one is a bit longer than usual. Once I started writing, the citrus just took over and I couldn't control it! I really feel that each scene is absolutely necessary to advance the story, so hopefully you can bear with me…

TaLT discussion thread: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Hate Valentine's Day? Looking for some quick, non-HEA reading material? Go and read, review and vote in the Anti-Valentine's Day o/s contest (voting open until the 27th): http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/~antivalentinesoscontest#

Thanks to laraisawkward, moonlightdreamer33, and Brandy_D, my betas. You guys rock! Especially when I send you a document with 9K words and ask for it back ASAP.

:)

**Disclaimer:** Stephenie owns 'em. I'm just gonna let 'em start getting busy in a way that she didn't.

* * *

**~/~ January ~/~**

I was hot. Really fucking hot. I was also having a really fucking hard time breathing. Completely stifled, I flailed my limbs, trying but failing to escape the scorching heat. In fact, the more I fought for my freedom, the more entrapped in the all-encompassing warmth I became. I was also confused when I simultaneously heard and felt a rumbling grunt in response to my escape attempt. It took me a few moments to register that I was trapped under the covers, wrapped securely in Edward's arms. My difficulty breathing stemmed from the fact that I was crushed against him, my nose buried in his chest. I pushed gently against him in order to inch backwards, but his arms tightened around me, refusing to allow me to move from his embrace.

It was Saturday morning, January the second, and I was at Edward's apartment. In Edward's bed. I smiled widely and sighed contentedly.

"Good morning," his velvety voice greeted me.

"Hmmm..." I hummed as I tilted my head back to give him a sleepy smile, and then resettled myself comfortably against him. I nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. My hand rose to rest upon his chest, my fingers lightly feathering across his cotton-covered pectorals. His fingers mirrored my own, drawing abstract designs on the exposed skin of my upper back.

"It is now…" I finally replied.

He squeezed me gently once again, gathering me close and burying his nose in my hair for a moment. He then released me and leaned down to kiss me on the forehead. I hummed again in complete fucking contentment. We lay there for quite a while, exchanging soft sighs and gentle caresses, comfortably intertwined.

"What time is it?" I asked after a few moments.

He shifted, rolling away from me in order to look at the clock on his bedside table, and I whimpered at the loss of his warmth. I felt his chest rumble with soft laughter at my complaint. He rolled back over to gather me back into his arms, answering my question at the same time.

"Nine."

I sighed, tightening my arms around him. I had several hours before I had to leave for work; I was working the mid-day shift today. Closing my eyes, I snuggled back into his inviting warmth and thought back over the previous two weeks…

~/~/~/~

Our time before Christmas had been spent at my apartment—Hell, we hadn't left the apartment from that Friday evening until Monday morning, when he finally went home to pack for the holidays. I had actually called in sick to work on Saturday so that I could stay at home and just do nothing with Edward. I knew that Emmett didn't really believe I was sick, but he let me off the hook anyways; I had a feeling that Rose might have had something to do with that. Edward and I spent the time together relaxing, simply being together—holding hands, talking, watching TV, kissing… Yeah… we spent a shit-load of time kissing. Not to mention the touching and cuddling, although it had all been relatively innocent. We had been through so much in the past few weeks, and while the underlying sexual tension was most definitely there—it was hard to miss the rock-hard length of his overly-insistent erection, which constantly poked at me when we snuggled together, as well as the fact that I found it necessary to change my underwear more times that weekend than I ever had in the past—both of us were hesitant to push the limits too quickly. We were really trying to do this right this time, to not repeat the mistakes of our past, including jumping into a physical relationship without firmly establishing the emotional aspect of it first. So we kissed and touched and cuddled, but nothing more. I slept comfortably cradled in his arms, surrounded by his warmth and security. For the first time in a long while, I felt secure, both in a relationship and in myself.

It was really fucking painful when I finally drove away from him that Monday afternoon. We stood at our cars, arms and lips clinging desperately—saying with our bodies all that we could not verbalize. My fingers played with his hair and his arms wrapped tightly around me, refusing to let me go. We kissed for at least half-an-hour before I finally tore my mouth from his with a groan. I really needed to change my panties again, and the bulge in his jeans had made itself known, pressing insistently into the softness of my stomach. The only thing that kept me from grabbing him by the hand and tugging him back into my apartment to take care of some of that unresolved sexual tension was the fact that I had to go to work, and I was already going to be fucking late. Again. I kissed him once more, quickly, then slid into the driver's seat before I changed my fucking mind and called in sick again like he wanted me to do. I drove away without looking back. By the time I got off that night, he had already driven home to Forks.

My parents arrived two days later, on Wednesday evening, to stay with me for Christmas, as had become our habit. Unlike my dread of their visit in years previous, I was actually kind of glad for their company this year because it broke up the monotony of my now-lonely days. Their visit was interesting, to say the least; my relationship with Edward was not the only one that was changing. Taking my earlier conversation with Edward to heart, I made an effort to engage them both. Surprisingly, we had a really nice time, actually talking a bit. I told them about school—my studies and my duties as a TA—and I even asked my mother about how her latest book was going. She seemed genuinely startled by my interest, and I realized, somewhat chagrined, that I really had made no effort in the past to try and understand what she did or why she loved it so much. We spent the better part of Christmas Eve discussing literature of all sorts—the classics, popular fiction, and of course, romance. Hell, even erotica. She seemed quite excited when I hesitantly asked for a copy of her next novel, which would be coming out in a few months. My father sat in my recliner watching TV, and although he pretended to ignore us, I could see the satisfied smile on his lips as he covertly watched my mother and I interact.

They left on Saturday morning when I went to back to work, and the apartment once again felt strangely empty when I returned home late that evening. As much as my parents and I had not gotten along in the past, I felt as if a big step forward had been made in mending our broken relationship over this break. Needing to talk about it, I was grateful for Edward's call that evening; we hadn't talked in two days, since he had called on Christmas Eve to wish me Happy Holidays. We talked for several hours that night, both needing to hear the other's voice, neither satisfied that words over a long-distance telephone line were all we could exchange. I needed to feel his arms around me, a surprising realization since we had only been 'officially' dating for a little over a week.

The week between Christmas and New Years fucking sucked. Big time. Because my parent's visit had been short, and knowing that Edward would be at his parent's house in Forks until after New Years, I managed to pick up a few extra shifts at the coffee shop in order to keep busy; I worked every day. At least Rose came back on Monday, so I wasn't completely alone. Of course, she only spent one evening with me before she disappeared to Emmett's, although she periodically popped back into the apartment to pick up new clothes.

Edward called me every evening. He also decided to surprise me by returning to Seattle, several days ahead of schedule, on New Year's Eve. His original plan had been to stay at home through the weekend. But by that point in time, he had been in Forks for ten days, and even though we had talked just about every day on the phone—usually for several hours at a time—it wasn't enough.

He was waiting for me by my car when I got off work at six o'clock on New Year's Eve. I didn't see him at first, locked into my own misery, trying to figure out what I was going to do for the evening. All by my fucking self on New Year's. _Gah_. When I finally looked up and saw him waiting for me, smiling his beautiful, crooked smile, I felt unexpected tears well up in my eyes. I flung myself into his arms, and when his lips met mine, suddenly everything was right in my world again.

Edward followed me back to my apartment, where I showered and changed. Then he took me out on the town. We had dinner at a fabulous little Italian joint—where we sipped on wine and talked for several hours—and then we went dancing at a full-blown New Year's Eve Party. I had always wanted to go to one of those blow-outs, but I never had anyone with whom to go; not wanting to go out without dates on New Year's, Rose and I had been quite happy to stay in, get drunk and watch some girly movie for the past two years.

I don't know how Edward found the event, or how much he had to pay for tickets, but it was a really great party on the roof of a popular downtown club. The weather was perfect—surprising for January in Seattle—for an evening outdoors. We danced for hours under twinkle lights and paper lanterns, and even though we were in the midst of a crowd, it still somehow felt like we were alone. He held me close when we swayed to the slow songs, staring intently into my eyes or brushing his lips reverently across my forehead. During the more up-beat dance tunes, he managed to press his hips suggestively into mine, forcing me to move against him, building the friction and anticipation. Causing even more wetness to pool in my already-soaked panties. I knew I was not the only one affected; I felt the evidence of Edward's arousal against my stomach, hips, and lower back with every bump and grind movement he initiated.

When the countdown to midnight and the New Year finally arrived, he cupped my face and brushed his lips gently, teasingly across mine. I was not so restrained; when he raised his head, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, gripped his hair tightly in my fists and forcefully tugged his mouth back to mine. Opening my mouth, I teased his lower lip with my tongue, and then sucked it between my own lips. He resisted my overtures for a few seconds, but when I nipped at the fullness of his bottom lip with my teeth, he groaned ardently into my mouth, and finally parted his lips in response.

And then, we were really kissing again—the kind of kiss that I had been longing for all evening. It was a battle of teeth and tongues, sharp nips followed by soothing swipes. The arms that were wrapped around my lower back lifted me from my feet, and I wrapped my legs around his, my heels pressed into his calves, searching for purchase in a world where my feet were no longer planted on the ground at any level—physically or metaphorically. I was floating, suspended in a murky haze of overwhelming sensation and needy desire. I whimpered when his lips left mine in order to travel to my neck, and then to my collarbone. My head fell back with a groan when his teeth grazed across the sensitive skin at the base of my neck.

The unexpected feel of cold, rough brick against my back caused me to open my eyes in confusion. Edward had somehow managed to extricate us from the dance floor while I was completely wrapped in and around him. The wall behind my back provided the leverage for which I had been searching, and when he pressed even closer against me, I managed to raise my legs to circle his waist. One small tilt of my hips, and the contact that had been hinted at all evening by his suggestive dancing was an instant reality. We both groaned in response to the heated friction that my small hip-thrust ignited. His lips crashed to mine again, sucking and licking greedily, and I eagerly accepted all the offerings that his tongue provided. I drank him in, drowning myself in his kiss, becoming completely intoxicated. By him. When he finally lifted his head, his eyes were hooded, lust-filled.

"Are you ready to get out of here?"

_Hell-fucking-yeah, I was._

But for some reason, I was incapable of forming any sort of coherent verbal response, so I just nodded bemusedly.

Edward took a small step backwards and allowed my body to slide down the front of his own. We both hissed at the pleasurable sensations of the fabric-on-fabric friction. When my feet finally touched back down, he stepped away from me. I was incredibly thankful that his hands still encircled my waist and that my hands still rested upon his shoulders, because my knees fucking buckled when he took that step backwards leaving me to stand on my own two feet. He chuckled softly, knowingly, at my shakiness.

I didn't remember much of the walk back to his car or the ride home. The next thing I knew, we were back in my apartment and my back was once again pressed against the wall. My lips were assaulting his, and I was drowning in the tidal wave of sensations that only Edward could induce. I gasped when he shoved a thigh between my own and ground his hips into mine. I thrust back against him and drank in his throaty moan of a response. His hands dropped to my ass, his fingers digging greedily into the soft flesh before they dropped to cup the back of my thighs. With a quick yank, he jerked both of my legs upwards, simultaneously stepping forward and roughly thrusting his hips into mine. My head fell back into the wall with a thud, and I groaned when the magic friction instantly reignited. I writhed against him wildly, desperate and needy, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist.

"Oh, fuck… _Edward_…" I pleaded with him.

"Is this what you want?" he asked, thrusting his hips forward into mine again.

I gasped then groaned in affirmative response to the pressure he was providing. But it wasn't enough. I wanted—_needed_—more.

Suddenly, we were moving, and before I knew what had happened, the fabric of the couch was beneath me and Edward's solid weight was on top of me, pressing me into the soft cushions. I pushed my hips upwards against his, moaning loudly when the aching flesh between my legs met the hard length of his arousal. His mouth supped sumptuously on each of the sounds I was making, drinking in each mewling moan and gasping groan, while his hips eagerly answered each question that mine begged of his. Tingling pressure appeared in my abdomen, rapidly spreading.

"Edward…" I pleaded.

"Look at me."

I opened my eyes, and as soon as our gazed clashed, he pushed his hips into mine again. With that one final well-placed thrust, my entire body exploded in a maelstrom of sensation that stole my breath.

I moaned his name into his mouth as I squeezed my legs tightly around his waist, riding out the waves of pleasure that were coursing through my entire body. He grunted in response, thrusting wildly against me. I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him closer to me, crushing my lips to his. With a final thrust, he tensed against me, his fingers digging into my ass almost painfully, pulling me even closer, and his lips parted against mine on a whispered groan.

"Isabella…"

After a moment, he collapsed on top of me. I relished the feel of his body lying on top of mine, of his ragged breaths, which signified that he was just as moved by this as I was. My hands absently rubbed his shoulders and upper back. I tilted my head to the side in order to brush my lips across his cheek.

"Happy New Year," I whispered.

He lifted his head to look at me, raising his hands to brush the hair from my face. He smiled tenderly at me.

"Yes, it most definitely is."

~ / ~

I awoke in my bed the next afternoon with no recollection of how I had gotten there. The last thing I remembered was wishing Edward a Happy New Year on the couch. I must have fallen asleep, and he must have carried me back here, because I was still fully clothed. Edward's heat was wrapped around me and I wiggled forward so that I could roll over to look at him. Unlike me, he had changed. Well, kind of... More like, he had just removed some of his clothing; while I was still clad in my jeans and sweater, he was wearing only his tee-shirt and a pair of boxers.

"Morning," he mumbled, smiling sleepily at me.

"Hey," I answered quietly, feeling quite self-conscious about my appearance. I was never at my best in the morning, but having gone to bed last night fully dressed and without washing off my make-up, I knew that I must look an absolute mess. Not to mention, I hadn't brushed my teeth…

We spent a moment in awkward contemplation. Then Edward flashed another soft, sexy smile, and reached up to brush the hair from my face. I had a feeling that he wanted to kiss me, but I really wanted to find a mirror and assess the damage first, so I diverted his attention with a question.

"So, what do you want to do today?"

His smile faded, a serious look taking its place. He looked away briefly before turning back to me with an uncertain look on his face.

"Well, this is nothing special, really, but…" he paused with a huff, looking away again.

"What?" I prodded.

His eyes rose to mine again, pleading. "I'd really like you to come see my apartment. Maybe just hang out for the day. What do you say?"

I smiled widely, glad that he was willing to share himself and his space with me, and nodded. A relieved look replaced his uncertainty.

"Why don't you pack a bag so that you can stay with me tonight?" he asked shyly.

Once again, I just nodded.

An hour later, Edward ushered me through the door of his apartment. Well, really, it was a condominium. And it was big. Really. Fucking. Big. There was even room for a piano—not the Grand piano he'd had back at home in Forks, but a really beautiful, shiny black upright that fit perfectly in the corner of the main living area and blended with the contemporary decor. I smiled when I saw it, remembering all the times I watched Edward play back in high school. Then I blushed slightly when I recalled the first time I had heard him play and what had happened afterwards. I bit my lip slightly in response.

"Do you still play?" I asked as I walked over to the instrument, running my hand across the top.

"Yes," he answered warily, obviously entertaining some of the same thoughts as I was.

"Will you play for me?" I asked, not making eye-contact.

Edward dropped my bag beside the door and walked to the piano. He lifted the cover and sat down at the bench. Glancing up at me, he raised his eyebrows in question as he patted the seat, inviting me to sit down. I lowered myself at his side and closed my eyes as his fingers began trailing reverently across the keys, sending tinkling notes dancing throughout the room. He played bits and pieces of several different selections before he paused and sighed heavily. I opened my eyes and turned to him with a questioning glance. He didn't turn to look at me, but I knew he felt my scrutiny because he sighed once more before he started moving his fingers across the keys again, albeit somewhat tentatively this time.

The song that I remembered him playing several years before filled the room. A lullaby, he had called it. This time, however, he played it at a somber pace and it seemed sad somehow. It was a compelling combination of longing and desire, yet at the same time, loss and sadness. In many ways, it was the musical counterpart to my sonnet, and I gasped as realization crashed through my tender soul—just as I had revealed myself to him through my words, Edward was now revealing himself to me through his music. Tears welled in my eyes and my breath came in shuddering sobs. Just like that day so many long years ago, I raised my hand to touch his. And once again, they went crashing to the keys, creating a cacophony of jumbled notes. Only this time, I knew why.

I echoed his words of just a few weeks back when I spoke.

"You wrote this about me, didn't you?"

He sighed again and nodded.

I picked up one of his hands and raised it to my mouth, where I placed soft, open-mouthed kisses across the back of his knuckles. I scooted closer to him, tilting my head so that I could brush my lips across his cheek. With a tortured-sounding groan, he turned so that his lips crashed into mine. And just like that day so many years ago, I somehow found myself straddling his lap on the piano bench, my hands buried in his hair, his arms wrapped tightly around my back, our lips and tongues working furiously to say all that we still weren't ready or able to verbalize. Tugging gently on his hair, I forced his head back so that we broke our frantic kiss and he was looking me. I allowed everything I felt in this moment to be exposed in my eyes.

"Thank you," I quietly said.

His eyes searched mine intently for a moment, then blazed liquid fire as he registered all that I was silently telling him. With another groan, he crushed me to his chest and devoured my mouth with his own. Again, just like that day all those years ago, my body responded to him in a way that it had never responded to anyone else before—save him—instant flame igniting in my abdomen and spreading quickly throughout my torso. His hands roved my back, snaking around to slide up and down my sides restlessly, his thumbs teasing the outside of my breasts and finally coming to rest just underneath them. I whimpered into his mouth as I rocked against him, the flame burning bright in the center of my being.

"_Edwaaard_…" I drew his name out in a voice that was thick with desire and need.

"Look at me, Isabella."

My lower body throbbed expectantly when he spoke my name, and I opened my eyes to find him staring intently at me. As soon as our eyes met, my body shattered in an explosion of sensation. I gripped his hair tightly as I pressed my hips into his. A strangled curse escaped my lips before I could contain it.

"Oh, God… Fuck!"

He grunted in response, and slid his hands from underneath my breasts around my back to hold me steady. Several thrusting motions and one more guttural groan later, he tensed against me.

In that moment, all pretenses were stripped away; every emotion that either of us was feeling was laid bare for the other to see. We stared at each other as our bodies came down, rocking slowly against each other to prolong the sensations while we exchanged soft, tender, open-mouthed and open-eyed kisses. I fisted his hair, pulling on it gently every so-often. After a few moments, I released his hair from my death-grip, and he fell forward to bury his nose in my neck, inhaling deeply, stroking my upper back absently with his hands.

Everything about this encounter brought me back to that day at his parent's house, sitting on that piano bench. Even our dialog and the sequence of events. Both had been raw explosions of pent-up emotion and mind-blowing sensation. Yet at the same time, everything was so completely different this time, so much better. That had been the beginning of something… _clandestine_. This was closure—the final release of the ghosts from the past—and yet initiation at the same time.

It was replacement.

It was our new beginning.

~/~/~/~

I squeezed Edward gently again, a huge smile on my face as I recalled that particular memory. As I shifted restlessly against him, I registered the wetness that had made a sudden reappearance between my legs with that series of recollections. I pressed my legs together and groaned.

"What's up, love?" he asked, lightly stroking my shoulder.

I felt heat creep up my neck and bloom across my cheeks. For several reasons. First, I had just been reliving an incredibly sensual moment and I was incredibly aroused. Second, just hearing Edward refer to me in that manner sent a delicious shiver across my entire body. I smiled again and tilted my head up to find his green eyes studying me intently. My blush deepened.

"I was just thinking…"

His eyes held mine, his hand still absently stroking. "Hmm… About what?"

I bit my lip before answering. "You… Me… Us… The piano…"

My last admission was whispered, and I couldn't contain the small whimper that accompanied it. Liquid fire spewed from his eyes in response, and his hand halted in its restless motions, tightening on my shoulder. We were locked into a heated stare, and when I slid my hand from around his waist in order to raise it to his chest, rubbing gently, his eyes fluttered closed with a groan. Squeezing my shoulder, Edward dipped his head to brush his lips across mine. My fingers tightened in the cotton material of his shirt, fisting it tightly, trying to pull myself closer to him, to his heat.

Suddenly, I was crushed to his chest. His previously soothing hand was now buried in my hair, tugging me closer. Our mouths meshed, parted, and came together again roughly. I exhaled a ragged breath, my lips parting on the rush of air, and he took advantage, slipping his tongue into my mouth. I moaned and arched my back and pressed my breasts into his chest, moaning again when the turgid tips brushed across the firm planes of his pectorals.

While his tongue made a slow exploration of my mouth, my hand roved restlessly up and down his side, scratching lightly. Edward groaned, his stomach tensing each time my short nails made contact with the small sliver of exposed skin between his boxers and his shirt. My hand snaked to the waistband of his boxers, and I teasingly ran a finger along the top side of the elastic, tickling his skin. His stomach clenched, and I felt his quickly indrawn breath against my lips. Emboldened by his response, I slid my hand down further and lightly brushed my fingers against the rigid length hiding behind the fabric. Edward dropped his forehead to rest against mine as he groaned.

"Isabella…" he warned, reaching down to grab my wrist and stop my questing hand.

Smiling at his response, I pushed my hand more firmly against the straining erection that was begging for release from its cotton cage. He groaned again and released my hand, bucking his hips forward into my palm. In all of our time together previously, I had never touched him like this. The feeling of his hot, hard length pressing into my hand was heady—and knowing that _I_ had caused this reaction… I stroked my fingers tentatively along the outside of his underwear, feeling _him_, and I relished the way he hissed in response.

In a quick motion, Edward rolled us over so that I was straddling him. My hand reluctantly relinquished its languid exploration of his manhood when I was forced to brace myself against his chest. His fingers traced a gentle path from my waist—where they had been resting—up my sides, and around my back until they came to rest on my shoulders. His fingers tugged lightly at the straps of my tank top, and they fell from my shoulders. The fabric slithered sensuously down my skin to pool at my waist, revealing my breasts to him for the fist time. I took a shaky breath, which thrust my chest forward, and his eyes darkened in response. He watched intently as his hands dropped from my shoulders to reverently brush the hardened tips of my nipples. I hissed and jerked slightly, the motion causing my swollen and aching femininity to slide against his rock-hard erection. His hips bucked under mine in involuntary response, the tip of his hard length coming to rest against my throbbing clit. I sucked in a breath as tingles shot through my abdomen.

"Oh… Yes…" I moaned, biting my lip, purposefully sliding my hips against his once again, reveling in the feel of his hardness pressed so tightly against me.

With a groan, Edward dropped his hands to my hips, guiding my motions as I slid against him, generating the friction we both desired. Once we established a rhythm, he relinquished my hips and raised his hands to cup my breasts, testing their weight against his palms. I was grinding wildly against him, each of my downward motions met by an upward thrust of his own, each opposing slide of our hips generating more of the delicious friction that my body so desperately desired. The tension was building rapidly, heat blossoming in my abdomen. I was panting in time to our motions, and when he suddenly sat up to capture one of my nipples with his lips, I cursed vehemently.

"Fuck!"

He grunted in response, unable to say anything with my breast in his mouth, but his arms circled my waist and his fingers curled into the soft fleshy part of my ass. He pulled my lower body into even closer contact with his, increasing the friction, and the motions of his hips increased in their frequency and intensity. I raised my hands to his shoulders, bracing myself, and threw my head back in pleasure, my breaths coming as short gasps.

"Edward…" I pleaded, grinding harder against him, _needing_ to find release.

My eyes drifted shut when he sucked my nipple further into his mouth, laving it lovingly with his tongue. And when he grazed the pebbled peak with his teeth, I moaned loudly in response. Funneling my fingers into his hair, I gripped tightly and pressed his head even closer to my over-heated flesh. I bucked my hips forward and groaned when the tip of his hard length once again found its home against my aching, throbbing clit. I continued to rock against him, eyes squeezed tightly shut, focusing on each of the sensations that he was providing and desperately searching for my elusive orgasm. One, two, three bumps of his rock-hard erection against my sensitive spot and the tingles in my stomach began radiating in earnest.

"Oh, fuck. Yes! Just like that. _Edward_… Shit. I think I'm gonna—"

"Isabella…" he called my name urgently.

By this time, I knew that he liked to watch me when I came, so I dropped my head forward and snapped my eyes open. Just as our eyes met—my body waiting for his command in order to explode—the door to the bedroom flew open and a voice spoke.

"Edward, I—"

I screamed in surprise at the unexpected and really fucking untimely intrusion as I collapsed forward into Edward's chest with my hands over my breasts in an attempt to shield myself. Edward's arms moved up from my waist to protect me. At least I wasn't facing the door…

"Oh, my God. I am so sorry," a small, embarrassed voice finally spoke.

The door closed quietly.

Edward groaned, rubbing his hands soothingly across my exposed upper back, falling backwards onto the bed, pulling me with him. I groaned, too, in complete fucking frustration. I had been so close, and my body was still throbbing in anticipation, especially since I was still pressed so intimately against him. But now that Alice was home, I knew there would be no finishing what we had just started. I just couldn't finish knowing that she was here. I sighed and pushed myself off of him, falling onto my back at his side on the bed.

_Fuck!_

"Fuck!" I practically screamed in frustration, pounding my fists against the mattress and clenching my legs tightly together in an attempt to assuage the throbbing at the apex of my thighs.

Edward chuckled wryly in response to my frustrated curse, and then ran a hand agitatedly through his hair.

"So fucking close…." I grumbled in agitation. I turned to look at him accusingly. "I thought she wasn't supposed to be back until later this afternoon."

"She wasn't supposed to be," he complained in irritation.

"Well… Shit!" I cursed again, clenching my legs again as well. "What do we do now? Are you ready to tell her about us? Because I don't see how I'm gonna get out of here without her spotting me…"

"Not really," he hedged, reaching over to grab my hand with his own. He raised my fingers to his mouth and gently kissed the back of my hand. "I just got you back, love. I want a little more time with you—just you—before the real world starts interfering..."

My heart clenched again at his use of the endearment and I sighed in longing. I wanted more time, too… I squeezed his fingers in response. "Sorry, baby, but I don't think that's an option anymore…"

His voice, when it answered, was sad. "I know…"

We just lay there for a while, giving our frustrated bodies and emotions time to cool down. After a few minutes, I extricated my hand and got up from the bed. I pulled the straps of my top back over my shoulders and started gathering my clothing—which was scattered haphazardly around the room. I pulled on a pair of jeans and threw a flannel shirt on over the tank top. I shoved everything else roughly into my bag.

"I'm sorry," he stated as he watched me dress and pack.

I walked back to the bed, where Edward was still lying, his eyes sad and frustrated. I reached out to grasp his hand, my thumb rubbing across his knuckles.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked, genuinely confused. "It's not your fault."

"I just wanted one more day…" he huffed. He grumbled something else, and though it was hard to understand, it sounded as if he said "an orgasm would've been nice, too."

I leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, and he reached up to tangle his hand in my hair, holding my head down so that his lips could capture mine. His other hand snaked around my waist, and suddenly, I found myself sprawled across his chest. I shifted against him so that I was lying, straddled, on top of him.

"Why do I feel like we were just here?" I asked with a small smile.

He groaned and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling his nose into my neck. I sighed as his lips gently brushed my skin, and I shuddered with suppressed longing when they came to rest on the sensitive spot behind my ear. He nipped gently, and I whimpered, shifting restlessly against him. We both groaned when my still overly-sensitive flesh bumped against his once-again straining erection.

I slid my fingers into his hair, fisting it and tugging in an attempt to remove his lips from my neck.

"Edward? You need to stop…" I groaned again as his lips sucked greedily, his tongue flicking out to lave my skin. I tugged harder on his hair, finally managing to extricate my skin from his mouth.

"Where's this gonna get us right now?" I asked with a frustrated sigh. I dropped my forehead to rest against his.

_Nowhere, damn it_.

"Besides," I continued, "I need to get home now, so that I can shower and change before work."

That statement finally elicited a response from him—he pulled back and looked at me. "I thought you were going to do that here?"

"Well… I was, but now that Alice is here…" My voice trailed off and he looked at me pointedly. "I think it'd probably be best if I went home now."

His arms tightened around me momentarily, and then with a ragged sigh he released me. I rolled off of him and scrambled off the bed.

"I'm sorry…" I offered with a sad smile.

"No, you're right," he huffed. With a sigh, Edward climbed out of bed, sending a wry smile in my direction at the obvious tent—and _oh my!_ what an impressive tent—in his underwear. "I'll walk you out, but it appears as if I need a minute or two first."

After Edward pulled on some clothes, we cautiously exited his room. Alice's door was closed, so we quietly tip-toed down the hallway, hand-in-hand. When we finally reached the front door, he seemed reluctant to let me go, refusing to relinquish my hand. He spun me around, once again pushing my back into the wall as he bent down to kiss me, his lips clinging desperately to mine. When Edward finally pulled back, my heart tripped rapidly in my chest in response to his blazing look. I smiled at him, my arms circling his waist, pulling him close and holding him tightly against me; he grunted slightly when my fingers dug painfully into his lower back. I didn't want to let go.

_Fuck_. I didn't want to let _him_ go.

He must have recognized the agonizing need that was revealed in my gaze, because he smiled wryly at me before lowering his mouth to mine once again. Our lips had just met when a throat cleared behind us. Edward reluctantly raised his head, taking a step forward to ensure that I was shielded from Alice's prying eyes.

"Alice," he growled, without turning around.

"I'm sorry about earlier…" she stated, but her voice didn't sound all that contrite.

I'm sure that she was sorry that she had walked in on us earlier, but I could still hear the happy smile reflected in her voice. I closed my eyes briefly, and then took a deep breath before cautiously poking my head from behind Edward's broad shoulder in order to look at his sister. Alice was smiling widely, just as I had suspected, and it was obvious that she was happy that Edward was happy. But as soon as her eyes met mine—as soon as she registered exactly _who_ her brother was kissing so passionately—her smile faded, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. The color first drained from her face then flooded angrily across her cheeks. I sighed.

"Hey, Alice," I offered.

"Bella?" My name was simultaneously an angry acknowledgement and a confused question.

Her eyes flashed between me and Edward, who was standing stiffly and who refused to turn around. She narrowed her eyes further and adopted a belligerent hands-on-hips stance as she addressed her brother.

"Edward?" she prodded.

I looked up to see that he had squeezed his eyes shut and was pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"Edward, what the Hell is going on here?" she asked, tightly.

Edward sighed, opening his eyes and dropping his hand from his face to cup my cheek tenderly. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Alice's foot bouncing impatiently. Without turning to look at her, he addressed his sister.

"What does it look like, Alice?" he finally responded. Before she could reply, he answered his own question. "I'm kissing Isabella—my _girlfriend_—goodbye before she leaves."

I heard Alice's gasp in the background, although it was drowned out by my own startled intake of breath. My heart was pounding painfully in my chest, thrilled by the fact that he had just referred to me in that manner. I had seen the possessive way his eyes had flashed when he called me his girlfriend, and I know that mine must have flared in a similar manner because a tender smile appeared on his lips. I turned my head to brush my lips across his palm, which was still resting on my cheek.

"Earlier than planned…" he added pointedly.

I heard Alice huff in response, followed by her stomping feet and the slamming of a door. Edward sighed.

"Sorry about that…" he lamented.

I sighed in return, reaching up to mirror his stance and cup his cheek in my palm. He mimicked my earlier motion and turned his head in order to kiss my hand.

"It's okay," I finally responded. "We knew this was gonna be a problem for her. I hurt her badly and that will be hard to get over. It's gonna take some time for her to realize that I'm not the same person I was back then, for her to see how much I've changed."

"How much we've _both_ changed," Edward corrected.

I smiled in return and nodded. We _had_ both changed. _So fucking much_. I just hoped that it would be enough. Both of us were now stronger, yet infinitely more vulnerable, than we had been in the past. Looking back over the desolation of the last four years of my life, I didn't think my heart could handle being broken by Edward a second time. I wasn't sure that his could handle that kind of failure either. I sighed again.

Knowing time was short, I threw my arms around his neck and pulled his head back to mine. Edward groaned as our lips clashed once again, and he took a step forward to press me firmly against the wall. He nudged my knees apart, and I gasped when he pressed his hips to mine—his arousal clearly evident. He took the opportunity to push his tongue into my mouth, and I moaned when it lightly stroked my own. My fingers drifted back into his hair, and I fisted the silky strands tightly, tugging gently. I tilted my hips against his, and he groaned as he retuned the favor.

We were interrupted a second time by the slamming of another door. He released me reluctantly, pulling away slowly. I whimpered at the loss of contact, and he smiled wryly, knowingly, at me. We were both fully aroused and completely fucking frustrated due to his cock-blocking sister. I shifted restlessly, the inseam of my jeans rubbing against my sensitive flesh, causing me to hiss. He chuckled darkly, adjusting himself as well.

"This fucking sucks!" I exclaimed, aroused beyond belief and unable to do anything about it

He chuckled again, then brushed his lips across my cheek before he opened the door and ushered me through it.

"I'm coming to your place tonight," he stated. I rolled my eyes at his choice of words.

_Not fucking helping, Edward._

"Call me when you get off…"

I rolled my eyes again.

_No… Definitely not helping._

~/~/~/~

Two hours later, I pulled into the parking lot at the coffee shop. Surprisingly, I wasn't late, but that was probably because I had left Edward's apartment far earlier than planned. I got out of my car with a smile on my face and headed towards the store's entrance. Five steps from the door, I was waylaid by a small tornado.

"What the Hell is going on with you and Edward, Bella?" Alice demanded angrily.

I sighed in frustration. I knew that I needed to talk to her, but now was not really the right time. And this was definitely not the right place. I turned to look at her, to ask her if we could talk later, but the look on her face booked no argument. She obviously wanted answers. I glanced at my watch. It was 11:50 am. I had ten minutes before my shift started. I sighed again, and her eyes narrowed. Her foot bounced angrily against the sidewalk.

"Well, Alice—"

My phone rang, interrupting me. Alice's eyes narrowed even further as I pulled it from my pocket and saw that it was Edward calling; I had a feeling that he was calling about _this_, about Alice. Since his warning was too late, I hit the silence button and turned back to her.

"Well, Alice," I started again, "Edward and I are dating."

I stated it simply and she rolled her eyes in response.

"Duh… I gathered that this morning, when I walked in to find you sitting on top of him half naked. I just want to know why."

She was looking at me pointedly, and I know that she was really asking more than that simple question. She was asking a lot of fucking questions. I floundered for a moment, trying to figure out what to say to her, wondering at the same time what Edward had already said. Obviously, I took too long to answer, because she plowed on, her voice escalating with each statement.

"I don't understand this at all. Why, after all that happened back in high school—after you broke his fucking heart into ten million little pieces—would he take you back? You never cared about him; you just used him. Then you rejected him. And me. You. Left. Him!"

By the time she finished her rant, she was practically screaming, her chest heaving with her efforts. I quickly glanced around and realized that we had the attention of everyone within hearing distance. Even people inside the store were looking out the window at us. Realizing that we were making a scene—and that I was now late for work—I grabbed Alice by the arm and pulled her into the store. Both Emmett and Jasper looked at us curiously as I marched Alice past the counter and pushed her through the door into the break room.

My anger built as I towed the small inferno that was Alice with me. When I finally released her arm I turned on her with all of my anger blazing forth.

"You should really get your facts straight before you go making accusations, Alice."

"What!" she screamed. "Get _my_ facts straight? What's there to get straight, Bella? I remember quite clearly you denying that you had any sort of relationship with him, or me, that day at the movies…"

I cringed at that reminder and sighed. "Yeah, Alice. I did say that. I said those things because I was with Jessica and I wasn't ready to deal with the consequences of my choices or actions. And I know I hurt you, hurt him, with those careless words. But just because I said those words didn't mean that I didn't care or that I was using him or that I rejected him."

She shook her head furiously. "That's a bunch of bullshit! After I told him about what you said to me, he called you. I heard him talking to you… And when you never came over again… Well, I knew—we both knew—what your choice was."

My anger was returning. "Let me remind you, Alice, about who was doing the choosing way back then. I wasn't the one who chose someone else, was I? No! That was Edward. _He_ moved on. _He_ chose someone else. Not me."

Alice's jaw dropped. Then snapped shut. "Yeah… well… Edward only chose Angela because you broke his heart. He was just trying to protect himself, I could tell. Edward was crushed by your rejection, and I was there to watch him nurse his broken heart. He was never the same after that summer, not as carefree. More cynical. Not the same Edward he was before."

I knew that she was just trying to get a rise out of me. But her words were true, nonetheless. He had been different. As had I. Once again, I answered simply.

"I know."

This was obviously not the answer she was expecting. I sighed again.

"Alice, there is a lot that you don't know. A shitload of stuff that you have no fucking clue about. All I can say, and I hope that this is enough—yet somehow I know it won't be—is that Edward and I both made mistakes back then. A lot of them. Long story short, he was probably the best friend I had ever had, and I threw it away because I was scared about what my 'friends' might think. By the time I realized my mistake, by the time I realized that I loved him—that I was _in love_ with him—"

I heard Alice's small gasp at my admission, but I plowed ahead with my explanation.

"It was too late; he had moved on and seemed to be happy. Rather than make a mess of things, I decided to not say anything, to give him a shot at the happiness that I hadn't been able to give him.

"I lived for four years with the agony of my poor decisions—alive but not living, falling deeper into despair with every day that passed. Missing out on everything that life had to offer because I felt that I wasn't worthy. When Edward showed up in my class this semester, it was both a blessing and a curse. It was the opportunity to finally set things right, but it was complicated—I was his teacher, and I was harboring feelings for him that a teacher should not feel for a student. Not to mention, what if he didn't feel the same? It took us four months to talk about all that shit, and another month to work through the guilt of all of our past mistakes and wasted time.

"I know you worry that I will just hurt him again. But, don't… I am aware—more aware than you could ever fucking hope to be—about what the consequences of a failed relationship between Edward and me would mean at this point in time. I worry about it every fucking day. In all honesty, I'm not sure if either of us could survive another heartbreak at the hand of the other. I, for one, plan to do all that I can to assure that _that_ doesn't happen.

"Now, as I said earlier, I don't know if this will be enough to satisfy you, but that's all I've got at the moment."

I looked pointedly at her, and Alice just nodded, a shocked look on her face.

"That's good," I looked at my watch and groaned, "because, once again, I am fucking late for work."

I moved to my locker and shoved my stuff inside. I turned to her as I walked to the door. "You can find your way out, right?"

She nodded again.

I pushed through the door and headed out to the floor of the store without looking back. Emmett and Jasper were both looking at me with questions in their eyes.

I threw my hand up in their faces. "Don't ask, okay. I'm not in the mood for another melt-down right now."

Both nodded and got back to work, leaving me alone to work the cash register.

Fifteen minutes later, Alice emerged from the break room. She walked to the counter and ordered a drink, then shuffled to the register to pay for it. She looked at me curiously, cautiously, as if she was trying to decide if I had been truthful about everything I had told her. I just nodded at her as I handed her the change. I was an open book, not trying to hide anything anymore. She stared at me silently for another moment, and then she nodded in return. Turning away, Alice retrieved her coffee then turned to leave the store. I sighed deeply in relief when the door finally chimed, signaling that she had indeed left.

Emmett and Jasper were both still looking at me, and now they were both grinning. I huffed in resignation.

"What?" I snapped.

Both their grins widened.

Emmett finally spoke. "I don't think I've ever seen anyone lay into you like that before, Bella. No one fucks with Bella Swan, right? Yet you just stood there and took it."

He chuckled, and I scowled in return. I didn't just take it; I thought I handed Alice's ass back to her on a plate pretty well. I just didn't want to air that dirty laundry in public.

"Who is she?" Emmett asked, curious.

"Edward's sister," I huffed.

Emmett's eyes widened. "And she doesn't approve," he guessed.

"Edward and I have an… ah… _interesting_… and complicated history. She's just worried about him," I clarified reluctantly.

He grinned widely. "Interesting… a protective _little_ sister…"

"She was so tiny, yet so _huge_, if you know what I mean," Jasper added, looking awestruck.

I rolled my eyes at him.

He looked at me sheepishly. "Will you promise not to get mad if I ask you something?"

I scowled again. "No guarantees, but go ahead and ask away."

"Do you have her phone number?"

* * *

**A/N:** *sigh*

OK… so the first citrusy-type situations are out of the way, as is the first confrontation with Alice. What'd you guys think? Any requests for future events?

Questions, comments, suggestions, theories? Come visit the TaLT discussion thread on the Twilighted forum. I do my best to answer any and all questions, and have posted teasers and out-take type material there as well.

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

I'm on Twitter and love to talk TaLT. Follow me: KristenLynn1121


	9. Best Laid Plans

**A/N:** Thank you again to all who have read, reviewed, and alerted this story. You guys mean the world to me.

I'll leave it short and sweet here, so that you can get to the story, but just FYI… this chapter didn't go exactly as I had originally planned. More explanation for that later, as well as a few requests, so be sure to read the fuck-long A/N at the end…

Thanks to my betas laraisawkward, moonlightdreamer33, and Brandy_D, who all offered numerous suggestions for how to make this chapter better after my first attempt went awry.

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I don't own 'em...

* * *

**~/~ February ~/~**

Everyone has heard the saying, "Time flies when you're having fun." Yeah. That is a complete fucking understatement. I couldn't believe how fast time had flown by since Edward and I had finally gotten together. It was now the middle of February, and six weeks had passed since our New Year's rendezvous. So much had happened in those six weeks…

School had started back three days after the run-in with Alice, and it was crazy. Being his final semester, Edward had crammed in several upper-level, pre-med-type classes, and he was a bit overloaded by his schedule. I was still working twenty hours per week as Jacob's graduate assistant, and my own class schedule had changed a bit this semester to include additional elective courses on Monday and Friday afternoons. I worked at the coffee shop on the weekdays I did not have class as well as on Saturdays. The time spent in classes and at work—not to mention the schoolwork that we both accumulated—severely limited our time together, but we saw each other as often as possible on the nights I didn't work. We also talked on the phone every evening that we weren't together physically.

When we were together, we spent a lot of time exploring our feelings. Physically.

We hadn't slept together yet, although it was getting harder to stop in that department. By this point, we had done everything but; our physical expressions of love acting as substitutions for verbal confirmation. Yet for some reason, we were both holding back, neither of us quite ready to take that final step. I had a feeling that it had something to do with the 'love' issue. We had gone about things backwards in our past interactions, not to mention our combined not-very-successful past relationships, so both of us were conscious of the fact that we wanted—no, _needed_—for love to come first this time.

I had already come to the realization that I was completely in love with Edward. I was pretty sure that I had been for quite a while, but one day a few weeks ago, the knowledge had just hit me suddenly—while sitting on the floor in my room, putting on my tennis shoes of all things. He had walked through my door, and when I looked up at him, I had just known. My love for Edward felt so much different now, fuller and all-encompassing, and I reveled in it. And the more time we spent together, the stronger the feelings of belonging and contentment—of love—became.

I hadn't told him yet. I was waiting for the right moment.

Luckily, it was a situation that could be easily remedied. Especially since today was Valentine's Day. The one day of the year set aside solely for love. And lovers. That this day would fall at this particular moment in time, right as I came to my own personal revelation, had to be sign, right?

So, I decided to kill two birds with one stone. First, tell Edward how I felt. Then, seduce him.

I had the perfect plan.

Edward had secret plans for Valentine's Day. Well… secret in the sense that he wouldn't tell me where he was taking me for dinner. I did know that we had seven o'clock dinner reservations, and that he wanted us to leave by five-thirty because he had somewhere he wanted to take me first. He hadn't mentioned anything about _after_ dinner, though. So… I was planning to implement _Operation: Seduce Edward_ after dinner. I walked through my apartment crossing off my check-list of preparations.

First, I opened the refrigerator, taking inventory of the items I had placed in there earlier in the day.

Champagne?

_Check._

Chocolate-covered strawberries?

_Check._

Whipped cream (just in case)?

_Check._

I walked down the hall to the bathroom and perused the situation there, taking in all of my handiwork.

Candles? Bubble bath? Flower petals?

_Check, check and check._

I looked at myself in the mirror, smiling at my reflection. The delicate red brassiere boosted and amplified, hid yet teased. My breasts spilled from the tiny demi-cups, the lace barely covering my overly-eager nipples. The matching thong was tiny, sitting low on my hips, the slightly see-through material revealing a dark shadow, hinting at what was hidden beneath and bringing attention to all the right places.

Sexy lingerie?

_Check._

I left the bathroom, lighting the candles as I went, and walked to my bedroom. I sauntered towards the bed and pulled open the drawer of my bedside table.

Variety pack of _for her pleasure_ prophylactics?

_Check._

I wasn't sure if we would need these; I had visited my doctor and started the pill the week after Edward and I had our conversation back in November, knowing that it would eventually come to this. But I thought that it was far better to have all contingencies covered.

Because Edward had a test tomorrow and I had a paper due on Tuesday, and knowing that we would be together tonight, we had spent the weekend apart. I had taken that opportunity for a bit of self-preparation. I had gone to the spa on Friday afternoon and had gotten waxed, which I really fucking hoped he appreciated, because… Damn it to hell! That shit hurt like a mother fucking bitch. I was really glad that I had the foresight to do it a few days in advance; it had taken the last two days for the tenderness in my nether-regions to fade. I had also visited the salon yesterday morning before work and had gotten my overly-shaggy and unruly mop of hair trimmed. The mullet was finally on its way out, thank God, but it would take a while for the Bella Swan signature flowing locks of old to grow back out fully. I was just happy that it was all one length again, even if it did barely reach my shoulders.

Heading to the closet, I perused my clothing options. I had really embraced the grunge look for the past several years, so I had to dig deep into my closet to find a suitable outfit for the evening. I pulled a soft, red cashmere sweater and short black skirt off their respective hangers, pulling them onto my body. Glancing at myself in the mirror, I smiled, pleased with the way the fabrics hugged my once-again soft curves; I had filled out a bit in the past three months.

I had just slipped my shoes on when I heard a knock on the door. Grabbing my purse off my dresser, I headed down the hall. Rose was gone for the night, having romantic plans of her own with Emmett, so I hit the lights as I went, strategically leaving on only the ones that I desired—the ones that left a soft romantic glow—for when we returned. I set the timer on the stereo so that it would come on in two hours, my iPod linked to play soft, romantic music. I lit a jar candle in the kitchen as I passed, leaving it on the stove. Yeah, I know, not all that safe in the long run, but I needed the romantic ambience for my set-up to be perfect.

I stepped into the hall, quickly closing the door behind me so that Edward would not see the seduction scene inside the apartment. He swept me up into his arms, his lips brushing mine gently, lovingly, in the process.

"In a hurry to go, love?" he asked, smiling against my lips.

"Just in a hurry to be with you," I replied, smiling back at him.

His eyes flared at my answer, their green irises becoming dark with desire. The smile faded from his lips, and the intent look he sent me was filled with frustrated longing.

"You have no clue what it does to me when you say things like that," he groaned, brushing his lips across mine once again, his tongue sneaking out to tangle sensuously with mine in the process.

I stepped closer to him and smiled when I felt the evidence of his arousal pressing into my stomach. "Actually, I think I do…" I answered, wiggling my lower body against him.

He groaned again, dropping his hands to my hips in order to hold me still. I whimpered in response and he chuckled wryly. Following one last brush of lips, he took a step back from me and reached for my hand. Together, we walked to his car.

"Where are we going?" I asked curiously.

He rolled his eyes. "I've already told you that it's a surprise. If I told you where we were going, it would ruin the surprise."

I wasn't really upset, but I decided to play it like I was, so I huffed in frustration and stuck my tongue out at him. Edward winked at me as he handed me into the car and I rolled my eyes at him. I heard his chuckle as he settled into his seat—I had a feeling he knew that my actions were all for show. The corners of my lips quirked up into a smile as his hand reached out to rest on my leg. I reached for his hand, threading our fingers together, and he squeezed gently.

The trip through downtown Seattle was a quiet one. Words were unnecessary; we were both content just being together. I paid attention to our surroundings, trying to figure out where we were going. I frowned at first when Edward pulled into the parking deck at the Seattle Center, wondering out why we might be here, but once we got out of the car and I saw the sign, I was unable to contain my exuberant smile.

"We're going to the Space Needle?" I asked incredulously.

He turned to me with a smile. "Yup. It's a complete travesty that you have lived here for four years and haven't come to see it yet. I couldn't have that, now, could I? This seemed like the perfect opportunity, so…"

"When did you make the reservations?" I asked, laughing, although I had a feeling that I knew.

"The day after _that_ conversation."

I nodded and smiled in remembrance. Edward and I had gone to dinner downtown the week after New Year's, and as we had driven past the famous Seattle landmark, he had commented about how much he loved the Space Needle—the view from the observation tower was supposedly fabulous. He had seemed horrified when I admitted that I had never been to see it.

We entered the lobby and joined the queue waiting to take the elevator to the restaurant and observation deck. It took almost a minute to make the five-hundred-plus foot ascent. When we emerged at the top, I was astounded by the view; we could see everything—the mountains, the Sound, and the city skyline—as we walked around the observation deck. I halted at the most westward-facing point, leaning against the rail in order to take in the sunset. It was beautiful, and it took my breath away. Even more so when Edward's arms slipped around me from behind and his lips found the back of my neck. I moaned, low in my throat, and raised my hand to funnel through his hair.

He turned me around slowly, and as the sun slowly sank beneath the horizon, Edward lowered his head and captured my lips. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back. Once again, we were practically making out in public. When he finally lifted his head, we were both breathing erratically. His eyes blazed at me, and I felt my cheeks flush with warmth. With love.

"Happy Valentine's Day," he whispered with a smile.

"You, too."

You ready for dinner, love?"

I nodded and smiled at him. It truly was a spectacular evening. I couldn't imagine anything more romantic.

But then reality—my reality—set in. Have I mentioned before that I am completely fucking jinxed? No? Well, I am. I have shit for luck, and the time on my good fortune had just run out.

Edward reached for my hand, and my innate clumsiness took over as I stepped away from the rail. Completely dazzled by his dancing emerald eyes and beautiful crooked smile, I somehow took a misstep and found myself sprawled, face first, on the ground. Falling was an indignity in and of itself, and I felt my cheeks flush in mortification. The not-so-discrete whispers and snickers, which alerted me to the fact that everyone had witnessed my gracelessness, only made my embarrassment worse.

_Great_.

But then I heard someone laugh. Like, _really_ laugh—loud, tear-rolling, full-bellied chortles that completely fucking pissed me off. I looked up to find Edward scowling and followed his gaze.

Of course.

_Alice._

She would be here to witness my humiliation.

I sighed. While Alice had seemed to accept what I had told her about Edward and I that day at the coffee shop, she was obviously still holding a grudge. Even after I set her up with Jasper, no less. Okay… so I told Edward to take her to the store on a day when I knew that Jasper would be working, but still… it was the thought that counted, right? My eyes drifted to Jasper. He looked horrified, both by my scraped knees, which were now oozing a copious amount of blood, and Alice's maniacal laughter. He grabbed her arm and tugged her away just as Edward turned back to me and offered me his hand in order to help me to my feet.

"You okay, love?" he asked, concerned.

I looked down at my bloody knees and swiped at them with my hands. I assessed the damage—not as bad as it might appear.

"Yeah. This is nothing…" I waved my bloody palms in his direction. But my ears were burning. "My pride, on the other hand, may never recover…"

He smiled tenderly at me and ushered me towards the elevators so that we could head downstairs to the restaurant. I stopped in the restroom to wash my hands and to tend to my now-shredded flesh. Luckily, there was a nice amenities basket in the restroom, and I found some band aids to cover my bleeding knees.

Unfortunately, my fall and the run-in with Alice was just the tip of the iceberg; the evening only got worse.

When we finally made it to the restaurant, they had no record of our reservation. So, we ended up having to wait for quite a while, and when were finally shown to a table, it was not a window seat like Edward had requested. And of course, it was too much to hope that Alice and Jasper were on the observation deck of the Space Needle solely for the sunset view on Valentine's Day; not five minutes after we sat down, they were shown to a table directly behind ours, and I had a clear view of Alice. She was still smirking at me.

A glass—or three—of wine went a long way to easing my frazzled my nerves. But then, our dinner orders were messed up; I got the wrong entrée—some sort of fish, and I was allergic to seafood—and Edward had to send his steak back, twice, for being improperly cooked. And the icing on the cake… once we finally got the correct food, cooked correctly, a waiter walking by tripped over my purse, which had fallen off my chair. His entire tray of water glasses went spilling down my back. He apologized profusely, but that didn't magically make the pool of ice water that now resided in my chair disappear.

Alice made no attempt to contain her cackles.

By the time dinner was over, I was pretty miserable. My knees were stinging fiercely, as was my now non-existent pride. And don't forget my cold, wet clothing. At least something good came of all our…mishaps: our entire meal—including an extensive desert selection—was comped, and the restaurant offered to pick up my dry-cleaning bill, should that be necessary.

We had to walk past Alice and Jasper on our way out, and though she tried—not very hard—to hide it, I could still see the mirth flashing from her eyes. She had obviously enjoyed a good laugh at my expense, and I had the feeling that if Jasper hadn't gotten lucky with her yet, he would tonight. I felt my eyes pinch in annoyance, and I squeezed Edward's hand involuntarily. He squeezed back and shot Alice a dirty look as we approached their table.

"Alice," he acknowledged her with a tight nod.

I avoided eye-contact with Alice, instead turning to greet Jasper. He sent an apologetic smile in my direction. I sighed.

"Jasper, Alice…" I greeted woodenly as I clasped Edward's hand in a death-grip and kept my feet moving, having no desire to stop and talk. It would only be superficial chit-chat, anyway. Not to mention the fact that in no way would conversation with Alice improve the tenor of the evening.

"Happy Valentine's Day," I offered half-heartedly as we passed their table.

"Bye, guys… Have a good rest of the evening…" Alice's tinkling voice called. I kept walking, my head held high. As soon as we had passed, she snorted—unable to hold in her laughter any longer—and I heard her not-so-quietly whispered, "Oh. My. God. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Best Valentine's Day, ever!"

When we finally made it to the elevator, I turned back one last time. Alice was still rolling in laughter. At least Jasper did not look amused. In fact, he looked pretty irritated, and once Alice stopped laughing, it appeared that he laid into her pretty good—her shocked expression almost made me smile. I'd have to remember to thank him the next time I saw him.

I sighed in relief when the elevator doors closed behind us. And when we reached the lobby and disembarked the elevator, I breathed another sigh of relief. While certain aspects of the evening had been romantic and sweet, a feeling of… _failure_… pervaded my entire being. The negative incidents that had occurred upstairs left a pall on the evening that I didn't like. But we were leaving now, so hopefully we would soon be free and clear of all the negativity. Plus, I still had _my_ Valentine's Day surprise to implement. A smile emerged on my lips. Things could only get better from here. There was no way in Hell they could get any worse.

I was so fucking wrong.

We had only taken a few steps towards the door when one of the people in the crowd waiting for the ascending elevator spoke.

"Edward?"

We both turned back towards the voice that had called his name. A tall brunette, who was wearing glasses and holding the hand of a tall and lanky man, was looking at Edward contemplatively with recognition shining from her eyes. I sucked in a surprised breath when I registered who she was, and I heard Edward do the same.

"Angela?" he asked hesitantly, squeezing my hand at the same time and sending a worried glance in my direction.

Angela smiled widely and pushed her way out of the line in order to come say hello. When she arrived in front of us, she threw her arms around Edward in an exuberant hug. He relinquished my hand in order to awkwardly pat her back, and I felt its loss immediately. A feeling of foreboding washed across my skin.

"Edward… It's really good to see you," Angela enthused when she finally pulled back. She perused him critically, a smile quirking her lips as she took in his fashionable attire and neatly trimmed hair.

"Wow… You look great! You clean up nice," she said, reaching up to brush his hair from his forehead.

It was a move that spoke of familiarity, and unease spread throughout my being. That, and a serious flash of something really fucking dark in nature. It took me a minute to realize that it was jealousy. Her hand moved down from his forehead to touch his glasses, and the spark of jealousy turned into a brightly burning flame, eating away at my heart and soul. She was still smiling when she spoke again.

"I see you finally downsized to something a little more fashionable."

I could tell that Edward was slightly uncomfortable, but he smiled back warmly and greeted her in return. "It's good to see you, too, Ang. And yes, I got rid of the black frames. Quite a while ago, actually."

As soon as he stepped back from her, Edward turned to me, grabbing my hand and tugging me to his side. His arm circled my shoulders protectively, possessively. But my unease did not dissipate. "Do you remember Isabella Swan?"

Angela's eyes pinched slightly in recognition. "Sure. Hey, Bella," she greeted me, using the shortened version of my name, revealing that she did indeed remember me.

Angela and I had never spoken in high school; we didn't run in the same social circles. She had also dated the guy with whom I had been in love. My feelings were less than warm towards her.

"Angela," I greeted her with a tight smile and a small nod.

She looked at me intently for a moment, and then her eyes slid back to Edward with a questioning look.

"So, Edward, what are you doing here in the Seattle area? Are you home for the weekend?" she asked, obviously looking for a way to break the sudden tension as well as dig for a little information.

"I transferred to UW last fall after Dad's accident."

"Oh! I heard about that. How's he doing?" she asked, concerned.

"He's doing better now, but Alice and I wanted to be closer to home, just in case. So, we both transferred. I'm really glad that I came back…" he squeezed me gently, and I looked up to find him watching me with a tender look in his eyes and a small smile on his lips. "Otherwise, I never would have run into Isabella again."

He kissed me gently on the forehead, and I turned back to Angela. I wasn't paying attention to Edward, so I have no clue what she saw in his face, but I saw the exact moment that realization struck—her eyes narrowed slightly as they darted back and forth between us and her head cocked to the side in contemplation. She seemed at a loss for words for a few seconds, but she recovered quickly.

"I wasn't aware that you knew each other that well," she said with a frown.

"Edward was my tutor back in high school," I told her, making no reference to our previous… _relationship_… but I had a feeling that Angela had put two and two together anyways.

"Huh… I didn't know that…" She frowned.

"Well, it was before you and I…" Edward's voice trailed off, somewhat sheepishly. In a hurry to avoid that uncomfortable remembrance, he continued. "So, imagine my surprise on the first day of classes last fall when Isabella was introduced as my TA. Ironic, actually…"

She nodded, as if in understanding, then turned towards the man she left in the line in order to come speak to us.

"That's my fiancé, Ben."

He waved at us, and we both acknowledged him with a small wave and a head bob.

Edward smiled. "That's great, Ang. When's the big date?"

"We're getting married this summer, after graduation."

"Congratulations," I managed to choke out.

"Thanks," she said with a smile.

Angela looked at me for a moment, a knowing looking in her eyes, and then she turned to Edward. She gave him another quick hug.

"It really _is_ good to see you again, Edward."

She turned to me. "You, too, Bella."

We both bade her goodbye, but the uneasy feeling that was smoldering in the pit of my stomach did not diminish. Quite the opposite, actually. The meeting with Angela, on top of the other unfortunate encounters of the evening, only caused the feeling of foreboding to increase, making me anxious and jittery. I jumped slightly when Edward recaptured my fingers with his. He looked down at me with a frown, and I suspected that he was a bit shaken by the encounter as well.

We walked back to the car without saying a word. He ushered me into my seat, and then walked around the front to get into the drivers side. When he finally slid in behind the wheel, I reached out and gripped his hand tightly, but the reassurance I was seeking didn't come. He was staring absently through the windshield, seemingly lost in thought.

Not only was I cold and wet, but the ghosts of our past weren't as far behind us as we had hoped.

He started the car and pulled out into traffic. I squeezed his hand and he sent a distracted smile in my direction, but his focus was elsewhere. Any remaining feel-good feelings from earlier in the day had slipped away, marred by the absolute horridness of the evening. There was a distance between us that really fucking scared me. We drove home in uncomfortable silence.

This was definitely _not_ how I foresaw this evening ending. I realized that all of my planning would be for naught tonight. This was definitely _not_ the right time.

When he pulled to a stop at my apartment, I called his name softly. "Edward?"

"Hmmm…" he hummed in response, but I knew that I still didn't have his full attention.

I squeezed his hand gently and he hummed again, but he was still staring out the window, still distracted. Panicking, the words slipped out between my lips in a rush before I could contain them.

"You know that I love you, don't you?"

I clapped my hand over my mouth at the same time that his head finally whipped around to look at me, shock spreading across his features. With all the mishaps of the evening, that look was my undoing. I burst into tears.

"Fuck!" I cursed.

"Bella?" his voice was confused.

It did not miss my attention that he did not use my given name. The tears came faster and harder.

"This wasn't supposed to happen like this…" I whined.

When he spoke my name again, my given name this time, a concerned and _loving_ tone to his voice, I just cried more.

"I just want to go home," I whispered, piteously.

I yanked my hand from his and opened my door, flinging myself from his car before he could even grasp what had just happened and effectively preventing him from responding. I hurried towards my apartment, Edward hot on my heels calling my name, begging me to stop.

When I finally pushed through the door, I groaned. _Operation: Seduce Edward _had been set into motion prior to my departure, a fact that I had conveniently forgotten in my hurry to get back. The scent of the cinnamon candle I had left burning in the kitchen bowled me over as soon as I walked through the door, as did the romantic lighting and music. At my abrupt halt, Edward plowed into me from behind, his hands coming to rest on my shoulders.

"Isabella?" he asked.

I could hear the confusion in his voice, and his fingers tightened on my shoulder as he took in the romantic setting. I sighed in resignation. Yet, my body still trembled in response to his touch, which only made this situation more difficult to endure and caused my tears to flow faster. I knew that I needed to diffuse this situation as quickly as possible, so doing my best to quell the sobs that I could feel ripping from my chest, I addressed him.

"Stay here," I commanded.

I stepped away from him and hit the lights, the bright fluorescence of the industrial bulbs in the overhead fixture eliminating the soft glow provided by the candle. I moved quickly through my apartment, removing the evidence of my romantic seduction; I turned on the lights, blew out the candle, stowed away the bath items, and turned off the stereo on my way back to Edward. I found it hard to meet his eyes when my feet finally halted in front of him.

"What was all that?" he asked.

When I didn't answer, or even look at him, he raised his hand to tip my chin. When my eyes met his, they were full of questions. Questions that I did not want to answer right now. The look in his eyes also informed me that he was aware… Aware of what this particular atmosphere had implied. Aware of what I had just halted.

I sighed again. "A bad idea…"

His eyes softened in apology, their brilliant emerald shade fading to mossy green, and I felt tears threatening again. As they spilled over my cheeks, his thumbs reached up to brush them away. Then Edward leaned down to kiss the salty tracks left by those traitor tears. My arms slipped around his waist to hold him close.

"Not a bad idea, love. Just bad timing…" I heard and felt his frustrated exhalation of breath. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too," I sobbed against his chest, squeezing tighter. "I had it planned so perfectly... I wanted to tell you that I loved you in a romantic setting, not in the car. I wanted to tell you because I just couldn't keep it in anymore, not because I was completely fucking freaked out after we had just run into your ex and I felt like I needed to lay a claim. And then I wanted us to…" I waved my hand agitatedly. "Well… I'm sure you figured that one out," I groaned, ducking my head further into his chest.

He chuckled, and I was at first irritated that Edward could find anything humorous about this situation.

"This isn't funny. This was supposed to be the perfect end to a romantic evening. I wanted to show you how much I love you, but everything went so fucking _wrong_," I wailed.

"Best laid plans and all…" he drawled.

I whipped my head back to look at him, and the love shining from his eyes immediately tempered my irritated thoughts; the emotion was so strong, it was palpable, and it stole my breath away. The smile faded from his lips, his expression becoming serious. His hands slipped further down to cup my jaw, holding my face steady as his eyes bored into mine, their intensity almost painful to behold.

"Maybe it's better this way anyways, without all the pomp and circumstance, without any expectations for the rest of the evening."

I frowned at him, not understanding, and he sighed. Edward closed his eyes for a moment, and when he finally opened them to look at me, the raw emotion emanating from his eyes stole my breath.

"I love you, Isabella. I think I always have…" he paused, and his eyes pinched in thought. "I can't think of a time when you weren't in my thoughts, even if you were just in the periphery—a faint shadow haunting my subconscious. I don't know how to explain it. You've always just…been there."

Edward paused again, searching my eyes before dropping one of his hands to ensnare one of mine. He placed it on his chest over his heart, covering it with his own, tapping his fingers on top of mine for emphasis.

"You've always been here."

I drew in a shaky breath, my gaze not leaving his. His eyes were shining with the force of his emotions, and his heart was pounding erratically in his chest beneath my hand. I felt tears threatening again, and when he spoke, they spilled over my cheeks once more.

"_Always_," he repeated fervently.

Edward trailed his fingers worshipfully across my cheeks, attempting to wipe away the wetness of my tears. But they wouldn't stop falling. And to make matters worse, my nose started running as well. He gazed lovingly at me, even though I'm sure that I looked like shit—after all the tears I had shed this evening, I doubt that I had any makeup left, and my eyes must have been red and puffy. Not to mention the stuffy, snotty nose. However, he was still looking at me in a way that made me feel as if I was the most beautiful woman in the world.

His fingers stilled on my cheeks, his palms cupping my jaw before his eyes drifted shut and his head lowered so that he could capture my lips with his own. Still sniffling, I raised my hands to his head, funneling my fingers through his hair as our lips brushed gently. I whimpered in response to the reverence that Edward was showing me. After a long time, our lips finally parted in order to take a gasping breath.

"I love you," I whispered against his mouth, my forehead pressed against his, my eyes and nose dripping uncontrollably. I didn't even try to stop them. "I love you so much it fucking hurts."

He groaned, crushing my body to his with his arms. When our lips met, the kiss was a desperate release of pent-up emotion. Yet, somehow, at the same time, this kiss was more gentle—far more intimate—than any we had previously shared. I channeled every emotion flowing through my body into that kiss, trying to show Edward how I felt, how much he meant to me. In between shuddering and sniffling breaths, I worshipped his lips with my own, brushing softly and slowly and parting slightly in order to taste him with my tongue. I trailed my fingertips through the silkiness of his hair, touching reverently, cradling his head to my own. Savoring every touch and sound.

All too soon, the tender emotions I was feeling gave way to something else, something primal. Something desperate and needy. In an attempt to drive out all of the negative memories of the evening, I pressed myself against him frantically. Before I was aware of what I was doing, I pushed him roughly against the wall and reached down between us in order to stroke his erection. Edward at first grunted in anticipation, but then he took a shuddering breath and his hand grabbed mine, halting my frenzied motions. He tore his lips away and rested his forehead against mine, breathing heavily.

"Stop."

"Why?"

He released my hand and took a step backwards, pushing his hand through his hair in frustration. I slumped against the wall, shivering at the loss of body contact, my eyes drifting down to look at my feet.

"Don't you want me?" I asked in a quiet voice, feeling my tears spill over. Again.

"Isabella..."

My name was a chastisement on his tongue, as if I had just asked the most blasphemous question in the world. He tipped my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his own. They were full of agonized longing, yet tempered by tender love.

"You should know by now how much I want you." He stepped forward, pressing his hips into mine in order to make his point, and I whimpered in response. He sighed. "But… Not tonight. Not after… well… _everything_…"

I dashed at the tears that for whatever fucking reason wouldn't stop falling tonight.

"Not like this—not as a distraction…" he reached up to brush his hand across my cheek, capturing my tears with his fingers and turning his palm to show them to me. "Not because you are upset."

I nodded in defeated acquiescence, and he gathered my body gently against his, surrounding me with his strong arms. Relaxing into his chest, I accepted his tender embrace, surprised to find myself relieved at being given this reprieve. I had built this evening up in my head into the end-all, be-all of our would-be sexual relationship, but I knew that he was right; I did _not_ want our first time together to be tainted by my tears and my insecurities. I wanted it to be special—sweet and loving, not angst-driven and needy—and I was glad that, once again, he knew what I needed better than I did. My arms slipped around his waist, and we stood for quite some time simply hugging, finding comfort in each other.

Eventually, he reached down and picked me up, cradling me to his chest as he carried me to the bedroom. He set me on my feet as soon as he entered my room, going to my dresser and pulling out some pajamas. He helped me change out of my still-damp clothing, careful to not touch me, although it was impossible not to notice how his eyes lingered on my curves and the sexy lingerie that did not do a very good job of hiding them. After I was changed, he encouraged me to lay down on the bed and he crawled in behind me, once again surrounding me in the comfort of his arms. He nuzzled into the back of my neck.

"Isabella… Don't you know by now how much I love you? How much I need you?" he whispered into my hair, his breath tickling my ear. "You are the most important thing in my life, and I don't want to do anything to mess that up. Not again. _Never_ _again_."

He pulled me closer, my backside coming fully flush against him—allowing me to feel exactly how much he wanted _me_—and I whimpered in frustrated longing. His hands stroked my arms soothingly, and his lips teased the tender flesh behind my ear. His next words provided comfort to my battered pride.

"Don't worry, love… it _will_ happen. When the time is right—when there are no more questions, no more tears—we'll know. We won't need a romantic prelude or elaborate preparations to make it right. It'll just…" he paused, and I felt him shrug, "…happen."

His final whispered words—words that I had used earlier in an entirely different connotation—sent a shiver of anticipation running down my spine.

"And it _will_ be perfect."

I sighed in resignation, and Edward's arms tightened reassuringly around me. I chuckled wryly. "Well… I don't know about perfect, but I know that it can't be any worse than _this_… the Valentine's Day from Hell…"

I groaned, and I felt Edward chuckle before his nose grazed the back of my neck.

"I don't know, love... I don't think the whole night was a disaster. You did tell me that you love me…"

He squeezed me gently again, his lips finding the tender spot behind my ear in a gentle kiss. I smiled and snuggled back against him. Our disastrous night was finally over, and completely exhausted by the events of the evening, my eyes drifted shut against my will. I hadn't made it to the bathroom to assess the damage from all my crying, a fact that I knew I would regret in the morning, but for now I was too tired to do anything about it. Fighting sleep, I managed to say the words—words that I had been holding back for far too long—one more time.

"I do, Edward…" I squeezed his arm. "I love you."

"I love you, too," he replied.

"So much…"

As I drifted off, secure in his embrace, I felt him whisper into my hair.

"Always."

* * * * *

* * *

**A/N:** So, yeah… I guess that I'm a cock-blocking bitch. LOL. I just felt that it was necessary for the ILY's to come before the physical intimacy in this story. I'm sorry if you don't agree, and I really hope that you don't hate me for this. But hey, at least they're are out of the way now—all the feelings are out in the open—so no more waiting. I promise! In fact, just to prove it to you… chapter 10 teaser to everyone who reviews!

Any of you have Valentine's Day from Hell stories? If so, feel free to share… We all love to hear about the train wrecks. LOL.

Now, I also need your help. Next chapter is almost complete, but, the following one will be spring break, and our six favorite characters will be spending it together. I'm not gonna tell you where they're going or what they will be doing, but I would like some input from you guys. I've already got some fun stuff planned (sexin' and drunken shenanigans are givens), but those things won't take up an entire week, so… Anything crazy you'd like to see them do (games, activities)? Any particular conversations you'd like to see/hear? Anything you want to find out about the four supporting characters? I need some inspiration, so fire away with your ideas!

TaLT discussion thread: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Follow me on Twitter: KristenLynn1121

:)

KL


	10. The Food Can Wait

**A/N: **Wow! You guys are great!

I was a bit worried with the last chapter since it didn't go quite the way I had originally planned, not to mention the grumbles after ch8 about them not hooking up yet. No one who reviewed ch9 was disappointed that they were waiting just a bit longer (in fact, all were quite supportive). Now, Alice and Angela were different stories! LOL. For my full take on those two (and their specific interactions from the last chapter), go check out the discussion thread:

http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Thanks to my betas laraisawkward and Brandy_D.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own'em, but at least I am not fading to black this chapter!

On that note…

* * *

**~/~ March ~/~**

"Hey, Baby!" I answered my phone with a smile.

It was Friday night and we hadn't talked in two days, what with my work schedule and the time change; Edward was on the East coast this week attending medical school interviews. He had visited Yale at the beginning of the week and he was currently at Columbia in New York. He would be home tomorrow, and I was anxious for his return. Between mid-terms and his heavy schedule of interviews—he had already visited schools in Chicago and Boston—we hadn't seen much of each other in the three weeks since Valentine's Day.

"Hey, love," He replied smoothly, sexily.

Edward's velvet voice still had the ability to raise goose bumps on my flesh. Just like the first time I had spoken to him on the phone back in high school, I was once again wrapped in a towel, fresh from a bath. I closed my eyes briefly, allowing his voice to caress every inch of my skin, and my body responded instantly to the seductive tone of his voice; I shivered instinctively and my nipples puckered. I sighed as I sank onto the couch, cradling the phone to my ear.

"How's New York?"

"Cold. It's March, and there's snow." He paused momentarily, and when he spoke again, his voice was low and husky. "Plus, you're not in New York."

I smiled as I leaned back into the cushions, settling in for a long conversation. "I miss you, too. How's Columbia?"

"Fine…" he hedged. "But… I liked Yale better," he admitted sheepishly.

I laughed at his confused tone. This had been his final trip out east, so we talked for a few minutes about all the schools he had already visited. Harvard had been his favorite. By far. Of course, he had been planning to attend Harvard since he decided to go to medical school, so he might have been a bit biased. His interviews at West coast schools would take place over the next few weeks.

I glanced at the clock; it was six-thirty. Nine-thirty New York time.

"What you doing tonight, Baby?" I asked.

"Getting ready to find some dinner."

"Hmm… It's kinda late, isn't it?"

"Well, it was a busy day—meetings, seminars, tours. You know… A group of prospective students is going out late tonight. Besides, things don't get going in New York until after ten o'clock."

I laughed. "That's right… The city that never sleeps, right?"

"Yeah… Things definitely move at a different pace. Not sure I like it…"

Part of me was inordinately pleased to hear him say that. I really didn't want him to end up all the way across the country from me—not that I would ever tell him that. This was his future, his _dream_. So, instead, I changed the subject. Or more aptly, returned to the original subject.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"Oh, I don't really know. Some Italian place, I think."

I sighed in longing.

"Ooh… I could really go for some _Assaggio_ right now…" I lamented, naming one of our favorite places. "I'm craving some mushroom ravioli. Can we go when you get home?"

He chuckled, and I heard the smile in his voice when he spoke again. "Sure thing, love."

I heard the sound of a car door slam as well as a mumbled conversation—I assumed that Edward was talking to a cab driver. A few moments later, he told me that he had reached his destination and that he needed to go.

"I don't plan on staying long," he told me in a conspiratorial tone. "I'll call you back as soon as I can, okay?"

I hummed in response.

"I love you, Isabella."

"I love you, too, Edward." With a smile, I added the clarifier. "So fucking much."

I heard the smile in his voice as he said his goodbye.

"Always, Isabella. Always."

I hung up the phone and wandered back to my bedroom in order to pull on some clothing. Feeling uninspired—not to mention lonely—I slipped on some comfortable, but ratty, old pajama bottoms and a tee-shirt of Edward's that I had snagged the last time he had stayed here. Which, now that I think about it, had been a long fucking time ago.

I flopped onto my bed and laid there for a while, doing nothing other than thinking about Edward. Thinking about how irritated I was by our lack of alone time over the past few weeks. He had only stayed over once since our Valentine's Day from Hell; school, work and med school interviews had taken their toll on our love life.

I was startled out of my musings by the ringing of my phone. It was Edward calling back, and I was surprised to see that an hour had passed since our last conversation had ended.

"Hey, Baby!" I answered again with a smile. "That _was_ quick."

"Told you I wouldn't be long," he replied silkily. "I'd much rather talk to you."

I hummed in contentment and smiled, sinking back onto the soft mattress.

"What are you doing now?" he asked.

"Absolutely nothing. And it feels really fucking awesome!" I stretched a little on the bed, arching my back. I heard him chuckle quietly.

"You?" I asked in return.

"Headed home…"

I hummed again.

"Have you eaten?" he asked, concern in his voice.

"Nah… I'm not really hungry right now. I'll call something in a little later, if I feel like it."

I probably wouldn't feel like it, though. I didn't have the biggest appetite to begin with, and on evenings when I didn't go out or see Edward, I was quite content to vegetate on the couch with little more than a yogurt or a bowl of cereal, a fact with which Edward was quite familiar.

"Isabella…" his voice chastised, and I heard him _tsk_ me.

I chuckled in return, then sighed. "I know, I know… I promise that I'll—"

My statement was cut off by a knock on the door.

"Well, that's strange…"

"What?" he asked.

"Someone just knocked on my door."

My brow furrowed; I wasn't expecting anyone, and Rose was at Emmett's for the weekend. I had no clue who it could be, and I really didn't want to leave the comfort of my bed. Shrugging, I rolled over, deciding to not answer.

"Are you going to get it?" he asked.

"Nah… I'm not expecting anyone and Rose is gone. Besides, I'd rather talk to you." I repeated his words from earlier.

A second knock sounded, more persistent than the first. I frowned. And cursed a little under my breath. I heard Edward's quiet chuckle.

"Maybe you should get that, love. Sounds like whoever it is isn't gonna go away that easily."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered under my breath as I pushed off the bed with an irritated sigh.

I padded down the hall and to the door, quietly, because I didn't want to alert my uninvited visitor to my presence if I decided to not answer the door. However, when I peeked through the peep-hole, my eyes widened in surprise. This was no unwanted visitor. I flung the door open wide.

Edward was standing on my doorstep, phone to his ear, a huge smile on his face. He looked exhausted—he had deep purple bruises under his eyes, and his hair was all askew. A carry-on bag was slung over his shoulder, and he carried a brown paper bag in the hand not holding the phone.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, incredulous.

He hung up the phone, slipping it into his pocket with one hand. The other hand raised the paper bag.

"You need to eat, love. You mentioned something about mushroom ravioli…"

My eyes dropped to the bag, tears springing to my eyes as I registered where it was from. My favorite restaurant, the one I mentioned earlier. I shook my head in confusion.

"I don't understand…"

Edward rolled his eyes, and his voice was exasperated. "It's dinner, Isabella."

I rolled my eyes in return. "I can see _that_. That is not what I meant… How are you here? You weren't supposed to be back until tomorrow; I changed my shift so I could come pick you up. And, wait… I just talked to you an hour ago and you were in New York…"

I was completely baffled, but now that I thought about it, I realized that he couldn't have been in New York when I talked to him earlier. He managed to look a bit sheepish.

"Well, I told you earlier that I wasn't all that impressed with Columbia. So, I caught an earlier flight as soon as my interview was complete this afternoon." He paused for a moment, eyes pinched and feet shuffling. "Oh, Hell… I didn't want to spend another night away from you. It's been way too long already…"

Before Edward had even finished his statement, I grabbed his hand and yanked him into my apartment, launching myself into his arms. He made an _oomphing_ sound as he caught me, his overnight bag slipping off his shoulder and falling to the floor. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I pulled his head to mine. Our lips met, parted, and I whimpered when his tongue emerged to brush across my lower lip. His arms squeezed me tightly, holding me close, his hands roaming across my lower back and dipping beneath the waistband of my pants to cup my ass. I groaned into his mouth when his hands squeezed my backside, and he took the opportunity to shove his tongue into my mouth. Not breaking our kiss, he lifted me slightly, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. My hands rose to push into his hair, fisting it tightly and tugging gently. This time, he groaned, and I took the opportunity to push my tongue into his mouth, tasting him. It had been so long, and I couldn't get enough of his taste, his smell… _him_.

Edward.

Suddenly, I felt the kitchen counter pressed against my back; somehow, through all of the kisses, we had found our way to the kitchen. Edward must have had something to do with that because I had completely lost track of my surroundings as soon as our lips met. He lifted me onto the counter, and I leaned back slightly, leaving my arms and legs wrapped loosely around him. He placed the take-out bag on the counter next to me, and looked at me, a twinkle in his eyes.

"I take it you missed me," he stated, a knowing smile on his lips.

I rolled my eyes. "Now what would possibly make you think that?"

He chuckled. But then his look turned serious, and he raised his hands to capture my face. Staring intently into my eyes, he spoke.

"I love you," he told me.

"So much…"

Edward smiled widely at my words—the words I had adopted for use only with him. I smiled in return. He leaned in for one final bush of lips before he stepped back. Stepping to the side, he reached into the cabinet for some plates, smiling at me over his shoulder. The smile was tender—revealing all of his love—and suddenly, everything became crystal clear. My breath caught at the realization. He had been right. The last piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place, and in this moment, I just _knew_.

I was equally exhilarated and terrified by my knowledge. My heart was beating rapidly in my chest, and my breath caught with the implications of what I was about to do. I reached out and placed my trembling hand on his arm.

"Stop."

Edward's hand halted, the plates suspended in mid-air. He turned to look at me, a question in his eyes. I slid from the countertop so that I was standing at his side, my hand still resting on his arm. It was still trembling.

"What?" he asked with a frown, taking in my awed and anxious expression and surely registering the tremors in my hand.

"The food can wait..."

I looked at him knowingly, trying to convey all that I wanted to say silently with my eyes and body. His eyes pinched, and he hummed at me in confusion. I took a deep breath, and while staring straight into his eyes, I completed my statement.

"…But I can't. Not any longer."

His eyes widened in understanding and his arms dropped, the plates crashing to the counter with a clatter. I slid my hand down his forearm to clasp his fingers. Tugging on his hand, I led Edward down the hallway to my bedroom. As soon as we walked through the door, his arms slipped around me from behind. He pulled me against him and his head dropped, his lips caressing the back of my neck.

"Are you sure, love?"

"I have never been more sure about anything in my entire life."

I smiled as I leaned back into his embrace, relishing the feel of his hands, which were caressing my stomach and sides in slow, soothing circles. I took a small, shaky breath.

"You were right," I stated simply.

His warm breath tickled the skin behind my ear just before he spoke. "About what?"

"About knowing when it would be right. It is. _Now_."

Edward slowly spun me around, his eyes searching mine. Apparently pleased with what he saw there, his eyes liquefied and he smiled. My heart tripped at the sight of that beautifully crooked smile. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. It was strange… There had been no elaborate preparations, nothing special to commemorate this moment. There had been no fancy dinner, and certainly no dressing up. I was wearing a pair of ratty pajamas, my hair was a wreck, and I had on no makeup. Edward was still wearing the clothes that he had obviously traveled in—his shirt and pants were rumpled—and he looked exhausted. Yet, here, now, in this moment, nothing had ever felt more right. I pushed my fingers into his hair, tugging slightly in order to pull his head to mine. His lips brushed mine briefly before they dropped to nip at the skin at the juncture of my neck and collarbone. I shivered in anticipatory response, a small moan emerging from between my lips.

He began moving, and I walked slowly backwards until the back of my knees hit the bed. As if in slow motion, I sank down onto the bed, pulling Edward with me, my hands fisted in the material of his shirt. I lay back, and he settled on top of me, aligned in all the right ways. I sighed then groaned a little at the feel of the hardness now resting between my thighs, and I tilted my hips up into his. His eyes flashed, needy and lust-filled, but his hands were gentle and unrushed as they reverently ran up the length of my body, settling on my face. He lowered his lips to mine.

In the past, most of our encounters were somewhat hurried and frenzied. A desperate search for completion, always in a rush for each touch to progress. Now, it was all about a slow exploration, a chance to savor each other. Instead of a frantic rush to the finish, there was the need to drag out each touch, each kiss, as long as possible. Slowly—almost painfully slowly—we undressed each other, pausing frequently to kiss or nuzzle each and every inch of newly-exposed skin. We took every opportunity to brush lips, our patient hands and gentle fingers reinforcing the significance of this moment.

Finally, I lay spread out before Edward, completely exposed, yet more comfortable and secure than I imagined was possible while being naked. I was also more aroused following our slow, reverent disrobing than I had been by any of our previous heated, passionate exchanges. He knelt between my legs, and the look in his eyes, the worshipful brush of his hands and lips, left me panting with suppressed desire, aching for his possession. I whimpered in longing as one of his hands slowly trailed a path from my collarbone all the way to my pelvis, pausing to provide teasing touches to my erogenous zones. The look in his eyes as he watched his hand—as he watched my body respond to his touch—was my undoing.

My hands were resting on his hips, and I slowly slid them inward, awed by the way his stomach clenched in response to my touch. Sitting up slightly, I pushed my hands up his body, over his chest and shoulders—again relishing each twitch of muscle, each sigh that emerged from his lips—and eventually into his hair. Fisting gently, I pulled his head to mine. I sighed as our lips met, and I groaned in longing as his body settled on top of mine. I shifted restlessly underneath him, feeling the evidence of his arousal pressed against my stomach but needing it to be elsewhere. Lower. A few shifts of my hips, and I felt his hard shaft slide easily against the wetness that had pooled between my legs. We both groaned.

I opened my eyes to find Edward watching me closely. Meeting his gaze, I tilted my hips against his in obvious invitation.

"Protection?" he asked.

I nodded towards the bedside table, but halted his hand when he reached for it. "But you don't have to…" my words trailed off as I looked at him.

I blushed when he looked at me intently, silently questioning, and I rushed to continue. "I saw my doctor after we talked back in November…"

He smiled. "So did I."

Edward leaned down to kiss me once again, another slow, sensual exploration of lips that somehow seemed to involve our entire bodies. His hands brushed down my arms, eventually capturing my fingers with his own. He lifted my arms, stretching them above my head. I arched my back slightly, and I sucked in a shaky breath when I felt him once again slide against the wetness between my legs. He groaned in response and shifted back and forth a few times, coating himself in my slick wetness, testing my readiness and bumping against my overly sensitive bundle of nerves. I writhed against him, whimpering with desire, and he tensed slightly. Finally—_thankfully_—his teasing motions halted, and he pulled back slightly, slipping down further. Suddenly, he was poised at my entrance, the tip of his shaft parting my feminine lips. My eyes locked on his.

Following the theme of the evening, it was a slow and measured, yet purposeful invasion. I sucked on my lower lip as Edward eased forward, pushing into me. His eyes were not the only thing that blazed; he was hot and hard, and when he was finally fully sheathed within me, I felt more than simply stretched or possessed. I felt complete, as if the part of me I never even knew I was missing had finally been found. I made some pathetic little moaning-groaning-whimpering sound, and his eyes pinched.

"You okay, love?" he asked, a concerned frown worrying his brow.

"I'm perfect," I sighed in response.

And I was. Again, he had been right.

Was _it_ perfect? Probably not. It took us a few minutes to find the right angle, the right pace, but because it was Edward, I felt perfect—perfectly aroused, perfectly content, perfectly loved. I smiled reassuringly at him, and I had the feeling that he knew exactly what I was thinking, because a smile quirked at the corners of his lips in response. Releasing my hands, he brought one of his own hands back down to cup my face, his thumb stroking my cheek.

"I love you," Edward stated fervently.

"So much," I vowed in return.

"Always…"

I dropped my now-free hands to his waist, digging my fingers into his hip, urging him to continue. Edward pulled back and thrust forward again—stronger and deeper this time—causing my back to arch on another breathy moan. He groaned as his pelvis came to rest fully against my own. I wrapped my legs loosely around his, my feet curling into his calves as I tilted my hips and pressed back against him. Urging him on.

We began to move, and I raised my hips in synchronization with each of his thrusts. At first, his movements were slow and measured, deep thrusts that filled me, stretched me in a delicious way. But soon, those controlled actions weren't enough for either of us. My hands slipped around to dig into his backside, trying to pull him further into me. Wanting—_needing_—more. I anchored myself in the depths of his emerald irises as our bodies strained against each other, searching for friction and ultimately, release.

I felt… _connected_… to Edward in a way that I had never felt connected to anyone before in my life. Especially during sex. Maybe it was the eye contact, which we maintained the entire time. Maybe it was the way that his body worshipped mine, seeming to know exactly what I was looking for, knowing exactly how to please me. While one hand supported his body, so as not to crush me, the other roved reverently across my skin, touching my cheek, my breasts, my waist, eventually coming to rest against my hip. His fingers curved around to cup my bottom.

Hitching my leg, he pulled me more tightly against him, swiveling his hips against mine while he pushed forward. The motion hit all the right spots, and I grunted in response, my mouth parting on an exhaled breath.

"Yessss..." I hissed, struggling to keep my eyes open and locked on his.

"Was that good?" Edward asked, smiling wickedly, repeating the movement.

This time, we both groaned.

"Oh fuck, yeah…" I moaned, my fingers digging—what must have been painfully—into his ass.

His eyes darkened in response, and he increased his speed, adding the little swivel at the end of each of his thrusts. I slammed my hips upward into his, mashing my throbbing, aching clit against his pelvis. Tingles were building in my abdomen with each of his thrusts, and I began panting, making half-groaning, half-whimpering sounds as I chased my orgasm.

Edward's face was flushed, his jaw clenched. "C'mon, love…" he begged, and I grunted in return, writhing against him, but unable to find that last little bit of necessary friction.

My desperate whimpers must have tipped him off because his hand slid upwards from my hip to my stomach, then inwards towards my bellybutton. When his fingers drifted down, I tilted my hips up, and his fingers brushed across my clit. The tingles intensified, and my eyes drifted shut on a shuddering moan, every sensation in my body centering on the ache that throbbed where our bodies were joined.

"Look at me, Isabella…"

My eyes snapped back open and met eyes that were now almost-black with need and desire. His fingers pressed against my clit, drawing quick circles, and with a final hip-thrust from Edward, my body exploded. Clenching my legs tightly around him, I moaned his name as I rode out the waves of sensation that his body provided.

As soon as I began to relax, he pulled his hand from between our bodies, propping himself up on both elbows and stroking my hair. He was staring, almost desperately at me, and I raised my hands to cup his face, showing him everything that I was feeling in this moment.

"I love you, Edward," I told him. "So much…"

He grunted, and his pace increased. After only a few seconds, he groaned my name. I felt him pulse as he spilled into me. He held himself above me for a moment, his eyes heavy-lidded yet sparkling brightly. Then, he lowered his lips to mine, brushing them gently.

"I will _always_ love you, Isabella," he whispered quietly before he collapsed onto my chest.

I relished the feel of his solid weight pressing me into the mattress. Dropping my hands to his shoulders, I trailed abstract designs across his damp flesh. I leaned forward, burying my nose in his silky auburn hair, kissing his forehead.

We lay, spent, luxuriating in one another for quite some time. The only sounds in the room were our soft sighs and the sound of skin sliding against skin when Edward finally pulled out of me and rolled to his side, tugging me with him so that my back rested against his chest. I sighed in contentment as his arms tightened around me. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, his lips brushing across the back of my neck.

"You okay, love?" he asked.

Squeezing his arms and leaning back into his body, I answered in the same way that I had earlier when he asked the same question.

"I'm perfect."

~/~

I emerged from the bathroom some time later, toweling my hair dry and clad only in Edward's old tee-shirt. Edward was seated, Indian-style, in the center of my bed. He had pulled on a pair of boxers, and he was surrounded by plates of mouth-watering Italian food. He smiled up at me as soon as I stepped into the room, nodding towards the plate that held my cherished mushroom ravioli.

"C'mon and get something to eat before it gets cold. Again…" he looked at me pointedly, but his tone was tempered with a tender smile.

I laughed in response and sauntered to the bed, lowering myself to sit on the edge and reaching for my plate. Edward picked it up before I could.

"Let me," he said, lifting his fork and spearing a ravioli.

He brought the pasta to my mouth, feeding it to me. It was an odd experience having Edward feed me—sensual, yes, but somehow restrictive, and I was somewhat impatient, waiting for him to place the next bite in my mouth. Of course, since I was at his mercy, I wanted him to be at mine as well. So I pulled his plate of fettuccini onto my lap, and fed him forkfuls of pasta between each bite that he fed me. It was a messy business, feeding one another, and by the time we were done, there was a variety of pasta sauce splattered all over my sheets. I snorted as I took in the mess that we had created. Edward looked at me questioningly, and I just nodded towards the sheets.

He smiled wryly and offered, "Well, they needed to be changed anyways…"

I rolled my eyes. I was well aware of that fact. I had rolled through the … _spot_… when I had finally dragged myself from his arms earlier in order to hop in the shower. But I hadn't been planning to change them until tomorrow. Not when we were just going to mess them up again, anyways.

But then I eyed the two large slices of tiramisu that were sitting innocently in their carryout containers, and the idea of making an even bigger mess in my already dirty sheets was suddenly quite appealing. I reached for one of the desserts, and scooped a forkful from the plate. I offered it to Edward, but right before it reached his lips, I tilted the fork. I watched, entranced as it fell. It landed with a satisfying _splat_ on his naked chest, the cream spreading out from the cake in tantalizing trails. Edward's mouth popped open in surprise when he realized what I had just done. A laugh escaped my mouth, causing his eyes to narrow. He snatched the container from my hand before I could stop him.

"Oh, no, Isabella… You did _not_ just do that."

His eyes gleamed wickedly, and I felt the cold cream as it landed on my leg. I yelped in response, which caused _him_ to laugh. I didn't move quickly enough, though, and he came at me again, swiping his tiramisu-coated finger across my cheek. Fisting a handful of the dessert, I launched myself at him.

Before I knew it, both Edward and I were rolling on the bed, laughing maniacally and completely coated in tiramisu. It was on our clothes, in our hair, all over the sheets, and had somehow worked its way into places that tiramisu definitely did _not_ need to be. Of course, that just provided the opportunity for us to lick it off one another. Our frantic food fight slowed to a halt when his body pinned mine to the bed and his tongue snaked out to swipe at the cream and cake that was stuck on my collarbone. I moaned in response, my hands coming up to funnel through his hair, holding his head in place.

His cream-splattered glasses were the first casualty of the war; I pulled them off and tossed them carelessly onto the bedside table. My shirt and his boxers quickly followed. In a matter of moments, I was on my back, naked and moaning, as Edward's hands and tongue trailed all over my heated body, lapping at the sticky sweetness that coated just about every inch of my skin. He worked his way down my body and eventually settled himself between my legs. I fisted his hair in my hands and arched my back, gasping, when his hot mouth settled over me. He sucked gently for a moment, then darted his tongue out to lap at the wetness that had pooled between my legs. I moaned again, louder this time, jerking my hips against his face.

"Is that good, love?" he asked huskily, and I groaned affirmatively in response.

His hands slid from my hips to trail down the outside of my legs. When he reached my knees, his hands moved to encompass them, his thumbs on the inside of my knees, his fingers splayed so his pinkies were on the outside. He slowly pushed them upwards, his thumbs and fingers moving further in with each slowly torturous inch that he progressed up my thighs. When his hands finally reached the juncture of my thighs, his fingers probed gently, finding and spreading my slick wetness around.

I was whimpering with undisguised need, tilting my hips in silent invitation, but Edward continued to taunt me with teasing touches and quick licks that aroused but didn't satisfy. Tugging desperately at his hair, I tried to pull him closer, but he resisted my efforts. I finally relinquished his hair, fisting my hands into the sheets in absolute frustration. And when I moaned—the most pathetic, _needy_ sound I had ever fucking uttered—he simultaneously pushed two fingers inside of me and clamped his lips over the throbbing bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs. He stroked his fingers several times as he sucked intently, and I screamed his name as my body tipped over the edge. Edward continued to stroke and suck as I writhed against him. Eventually, it became too much, and I raised my hand to his head, signaling my need for him to stop. With one final kiss to my now-satisfied girly bits, he pulled away.

I was breathing heavily and my limbs felt heavy as he slowly ascended my body, pausing every now and then to lick at the cream that still clung to my skin. Edward settled on top of me, his lips capturing my own. I wrapped my arms loosely around him, snuggling into him, relishing the feel of his body lying on top of me once again. But then I registered his aroused state. After what he had just done for me, I wanted to return the favor.

I pushed against him, urging him to roll to his back. Following his lead from earlier, my hands and tongue trailed across his body, from his jaw to his collarbone, then to his chest. I paused there for a moment, fascinated by the way his small, tight male nipples responded to my fingers and mouth, incredibly turned on by the way that Edward hissed and groaned in response to my ministrations. When I moved lower, his hisses morphed into desperate-sounding groans and moans that had me wet and throbbing again, even though I had come less than five minutes earlier.

He was hot and hard in my hand, and I watched as I stoked him lightly, his hips bucking gently against my palm. A bead of moisture appeared at his tip, and I couldn't take my eyes off of it, engrossed by its growing size and changing color. Edward began moving faster, more purposefully against my hand, and the droplet rolled down his shaft, coming to rest against my fingers. Unable to resist anymore, I lowered my head and swiped at it with my tongue—the salty bitterness of his fluid contrasting with the sweetness of the tiramisu. His hips jerked and he moaned at the contact. Encouraged, I moved my lips to encompass the entire tip, sucking it into my mouth. He groaned again, and his hands moved to grip my hair, holding my head steady.

With each thrust, I took him further into my mouth. My hand gripped the base of his shaft while my tongue and mouth worked the upper part. The noises he was making—grunts and groans and rapidly indrawn breaths—were an incredible fucking turn-on, and somehow with Edward, this was erotic and satisfying. Not to mention, fun. I was highly aroused, and I wanted to give him more, make him feel what I was feeling. I released his shaft so that I could take more of him in, and I groaned when he filled my mouth. He groaned as well, and then tugged gently on my hair.

"Isabella… Stop."

I was confused. "But I want to—"

He cut me off. "I want you to as well, love, but I want _you_ more right now."

He tugged me up his body and crushed his lips to mine as soon as I straddled his waist. Anchoring my hips with his hands, he slid against me, groaning when he encountered the wetness dripping from my core. I lifted my hips slightly and he gripped his shaft, rubbing the tip against me. I dropped my head forward with a hiss and a deep, guttural groan. Guiding himself to my entrance, he paused. I raised my head to look at him.

As soon as our eyes met, Edward released his hand and thrust upwards into me. I gasped as I took him in, deeper this time because of the angle and position. His hands pressed almost painfully against my waist as his hips bucked furiously against mine. I wasn't anticipating another climax of my own, so I was caught completely by surprise when the tell-tale tingles began building in my abdomen almost immediately.

"Edward?" I moaned, surprised.

Taking in my surprised expression, he tightened his grip, aiding my up-and-down motions. I squeezed his hips tightly with my thighs, slamming down onto him with each downward thrust of my own. He was grunting with effort and I was gasping at the pleasurable sensations that were coursing through my body.

"_Edwaaaard_…" I drew out his name.

He slid a hand down, and trailed his fingers through the wetness that had pooled between our joined bodies.

"Come for me, love," he encouraged, staring deeply into my eyes.

"_Ungh_… Oh, God… _Fuck_…." I moaned, bouncing wildly on top of him.

"Isabella…" My name was an order on his lips, and my body throbbed expectantly in response. He pressed his fingers against my clit at the same time as he thrust upwards.

"Shit!"

I cursed as my body shattered for the third time this evening. My fingers curled into his chest, my nails scoring his flesh. He simultaneously hissed at the pain and groaned at the pleasure of his own release. I watched, completely fucking entranced, as he came—his combined look of intense concentration and overwhelming awe anchoring me to my own release.

This time, I collapsed onto his chest. His arms surrounded me and absently stroked at my shoulders, and he nuzzled into my hair, kissing my forehead. Eventually, our breathing slowed and the bones returned to my body. I slid off him.

Right into a big chunk of tiramisu.

I grumbled, and he laughed. To which I had to retaliate.

Ten minutes later, we were both slathered in tiramisu again, and we were both laughing at the complete mess that was my bed.

"What a waste," I lamented. "That shit is so good, and look what we did to it…"

"I don't know, love… I think I'd prefer to have you for dessert any day." I felt my cheeks flame. Then he raised his hand, and captured a stray bit of cream that was clinging to my cheek. He licked it off his finger. "Plus, I think it still tastes pretty good."

"Whatever…" I rolled my eyes at him, but smiled nonetheless. "We still have to clean it up."

I rolled off the bed and reached out my hand to him. Together, we padded to the bathroom in order to clean up the mess.

An hour later, my bed had clean sheets and we were both tiramisu-free after taking a second shower. We were spooning, my back pressed against Edward's chest, his arms wrapped securely around me. I squeezed his arm, leaning down to brush his palm with my lips. I felt him sigh, and I smiled in response.

"Thank you," I told him quietly, sincerely.

"For what, love?"

"For everything. For coming back early. For bringing me dinner. For always being patient with me, and putting my needs first. For being willing to wait, and then for… well… you know…"

I ducked my head slightly at the last statement, and I felt him chuckle.

"Shouldn't I be thanking _you_ for that?"

I smacked his arm. "You know what I mean."

He sighed and nuzzled into my hair once again, kissing the back of my neck. "Yeah, I do…"

We lay in companionable silence for a moment before he whispered, "You're welcome."

I smiled in response, completely content in his arms. As my eyes finally drifted shut, I spoke once more.

"I love you, Edward" I whispered.

"I love you, too, Isabella…"

"So much…"

"Always."

* * *

**A/N:** So, they finally did it. Was it worth the wait? I really fucking hope so. Let me know…

Got questions, comments, suggestions or theories? Come play on the discussion thread: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

FYI: Next chapter is spring break. A LOT is going to happen there, so I'm gonna break from the formula a little bit and tell you about the whole week, kind of like the original o/s. That said, the next chapter will likely be significantly longer than any other chapter. Because of that, it will take a little longer to write than previous chapters, so it will probably be 2 weeks before April is posted. I'm still looking for ideas, so keep sending 'em my way!

2nd FYI: Just so you know, we're closing in on the end here. Only two more chapters plus the epi, and this little_ Trip_ will be over. Hope you are enjoying!

: )

KL


	11. Hot Chocolate Just Goes with Snow

**A/N: **Hey Guys! I'm back. I am so sorry that this chapter took so long to update. I had a lot of things going on in the last month, but… in all honesty, I had a really tough time trying to figure out how I was going to play spring break. I knew all along where they were going and what was going to happen, but there is a shit-load of stuff that has to told in April's episode. It finally dawned on me that I wasn't going to be able to tell the whole story in one chapter, so…

Bonus Chapter!

Another bonus… There is a lot of stuff going on in Edward's head that you all need to be aware of. So, for those of you craving a little EPOV, he's going to tell you about the first few days of spring break. And once I allowed him to start talking, Edward just wouldn't shut up! This was supposed to be a short (3-4K word) outtake-type chapter, but it morphed into one of my longest yet. LOL. Bella will tell you about the rest of the trip in the next chapter.

Hope you enjoy!

Special thanks to my betas moonlightdreamer333 and Brandy_D for putting up with my questions and repeated re-emails with corrections.

* * *

**~/~ April ~/~**

**Part I: Edward**

**~ Friday ~**

The semester was wearing down; in seven weeks, I would graduate. The weight of all the decisions I would need to make concerning my future was beginning to take its toll on me.

I'd had my future planned for years, since before I had even enrolled in undergraduate studies: Harvard Medical School. While I planned to stay on the clinical side of medicine, I definitely wanted to try my hand at some research, and Harvard was the top school to satisfy both of those desires. But lately, my focus had changed… I still had the same career aspirations, but my personal life—which I had always pushed to the back—was suddenly at the forefront. _Correction_. Isabella was at the forefront, and she still had two years of graduate work to complete here at UW.

The medical school application process was a difficult and competitive one, and it required a lot of forethought and preparation. I had submitted most of my applications prior to my departure from Chicago. When I'd realized back in the fall how important Isabella was becoming to me, I'd looked into applying at UW, but I had missed the fall deadline. I submitted a late application, and I had an interview at the end of next week, but at best, I would be on the waitlist. I'd already had positive responses from all of my top med school choices, which was good because it gave me options, but I couldn't count on getting in here—a fact that had me really stressed.

Unfortunately, worrying about it didn't do me any good at this point in time; what will be, will be. So, in order to take my mind off all the decisions that would soon have to be made, I was indulging in one last college ritual: spring break. I was taking Isabella to my parent's ski cabin outside of Vancouver, in Canada. I had planned a romantic getaway for two a while back, a way for us both to relax and escape the pressures, and I had wanted to surprise her with our spring break trip. But a month ago, after my mother had told her that I had first dibs on the cabin for spring break because I had asked first, Alice had cornered me when I came home one morning to change before going to class.

I hadn't seen much of Alice since Valentine's Day—I had pretty much been living at Isabella's apartment because she refused to come to mine after all the trouble that Alice had caused us. I just didn't get it… I knew that my sister had been hurt by Bella'scareless words back in high school, but this behavior went beyond hurt feelings; Alice's nasty attitude towards Isabella was vindictive and unkind. It had driven a wedge in the close relationship that my sister and I used to share, and I had initially shot Alice down cold, refusing to even consider sharing my spring break with her.

That decision weighed heavily on me; my sister and I had never really fought in the past. After a few days of not speaking to Alice, Isabella had asked what was wrong. I hadn't wanted to spoil the surprise by telling her of my plans, but I'd been so obviously miserable with my decision that I had finally just blurted it all out. In an unexpected response, Isabella had been worried that _that_ would only give Alice another reason to dislike her and insisted that we had to include her. So, after some intense discussion, we'd struck a compromise: Alice and Jasper were welcome as long as Isabella could invite Rose and, by extension, Emmett to come as well.

It was now three-thirty in the afternoon on the first Friday in April. I had already loaded her packed suitcase in my car, and I was sitting in Isabella's living room—with as much time as I had been spending here over the past three months, I now had a key—flipping through the TV channels, waiting impatiently for her to get home from class so that we could leave. We had a four-and-a-half hour drive ahead of us, so I was itching to get on the road. At least we were getting a head start… Both Jasper and Emmett were working tomorrow evening, so the four of them would be driving up together on Sunday morning. Isabella and I had two nights together before the masses would descend, and I was anxious to take advantage of that alone time.

I had just turned the channel to a medical center documentary when I heard a key in the door. I glanced up in time to see Isabella come flying into the apartment.

"Oh, Edward…" she lamented when her eyes fell on me sitting on her couch. "I'm so sorry! Of all days for class to go late... Fucking figures! Just give me five…"

Dropping her bag inside the door, she rushed through the living room—blowing me a kiss as she passed—and down the hallway. From the corner of my eye, I saw her whip her shirt over her head as she disappeared into her room. A smile touched my lips. I rose from the couch and wandered down the hall towards her bedroom.

When I reached the doorway, my smile expanded. She was standing, clad only in her underwear, in her closet. I leaned casually against the doorjamb, watching as she bounced in agitation and frantically pawed through her clothing while she muttered under her breath.

"…just saw it this morning…knew I should have taken it out…damn it…"

She finally exhaled in a satisfied little huff as she pulled a hanger from the rack. After yanking the grey hoodie from the hanger, she tossed it towards the bed without looking. She then bent over in order to sort through the stack of jeans on one of the lower shelves. The sight of her almost-naked backside was too strong a lure to resist, and I stepped forward in order to smack her lightly on the ass.

The sound of my hand contacting her bare skin reverberated throughout the room.

"Oh… Ow!"

She jerked upright, rubbing her backside with her palm. Tilting her head, she skewered me with a scowl.

"Sorry, love. Couldn't resist…"

I chuckled, and a smug smirk tugged at the corners of my lips. My hand still rested upon her hip, and the heat of her skin warmed my hand; tingles of awareness radiated up my arm and straight to my groin.

"You're gonna pay for that, Cullen," she declared.

"Oh yeah?" I asked, my smirk deepening and my eyes widening.

"Uh huh…"

"How so?"

Isabella backed up into me, pressing her backside into my now-throbbing erection. I sucked in a strangled breath as she wiggled her hips suggestively against me. My fingers pinched lightly into her hip, and my other hand slid around her waist to pull her close and hold her tightly against me. She moaned slightly and tossed the jeans she was holding to the bed so that she could raise her hands above her head and funnel them through my hair. Tugging slightly, she pulled my head to her neck, and my lips unerringly found the soft, sensitive skin behind her right ear. When I sucked gently, she moaned again—more loudly this time—and wiggled her backside against me once more.

She turned around slowly, leaving her arms linked loosely around my neck. My hands, which had been resting at her waist, now rested on the curve of her backside, and I allowed a finger to dip beneath the elastic on her low-riding panties. I lowered my head and captured her lips with my own. At the same time, I pushed my whole hand into the backside of her panties and grabbed a handful of her delectable ass.

Lowering her hands to my chest, she pushed gently, forcing me to take a step away. When I frowned, she stepped forward and pushed again until I started moving backwards. When the back of my knees finally hit her bed, she pressed her entire body against mine, and I fell backwards onto the bed. She clambered onto the mattress—onto me—straddling my lap. She leaned down in order to kiss me fervently. My hands found their way back to her ass, and I pulled her tightly against my groin.

We kissed for a few moments, my hands holding her close and encouraging the downward grinding motions of her pelvis. When she finally raised her head in order to take a shaky breath, I spoke.

"Remind me… How is this punishment?"

A smirk twitched at the corners of her lips. Leaning down, she kissed me once more. Then she removed herself from my lap and reached for the clothing that she had tossed to the bed earlier. She stepped into her jeans and pulled them up, then threw the hoodie over her head. When she was dressed, she turned towards the door.

"C'mon, Cullen… we don't wanna be late, do we?"

"Hey…" I protested with a frown.

She turned back around and shot me a knowing look that was accompanied by an eye waggle and a sexy smile.

"You can't do that…" I whined.

"What?" She asked, an innocent tone to her voice.

"Start something like that and then not follow through."

"Ah… But I didn't start it. _You_ did," she reminded me with a light laugh. "Besides, we don't have time for this right now. Not if you want to get there before midnight. I know how you are with your planning and schedules…"

She knew me very well; I _hated_ running late. I much preferred when everything ran according to plan. My plan. And my plan for this evening included a three-thirty departure so that we would reach our destination at a decent hour. A glance at the clock on her bedside table reveled that we were already almost an hour behind schedule. I couldn't help the annoyed frown that pinched my brow.

Victory flashed in her eyes.

Minx…

All of a sudden, I didn't want to wait five hours to touch her, hold her, kiss her again. I hadn't seen her since Monday evening, with her work schedule and the tests I'd had over the last three days. We had talked on the phone, but it wasn't the same. My eyes narrowed. In this moment, _this_—being with her—was far more important than any schedule.

"Fuck it…" I growled, grabbing Isabella's hand and yanking her back onto the bed, onto me.

Her eyes widened at my use of the expletive; I rarely cursed to begin with, and even less so in front of her, but suddenly I was feeling… primal… and _that_ word was surprisingly fitting. Her breath came in erratic gasps as she lay sprawled on top of me. My fingers slipped beneath the hem of her shirt to brush against the silky skin of her stomach. Her breath caught when I deftly undid the snap on her jeans, but her hips lifted slightly so that I could lower the tab of her zipper.

When I pushed my hand into her panties, and my fingers encountered the wetness that had pooled there, I groaned. Despite the performance that she had just put on, she was just as ready for this as I was. Her eyes flashed wildly at me, and a small whimper escaped before she clamped her lower lip between her teeth. I stroked my fingers against her hot, wet flesh, and she moaned in response. Closing her eyes, she bucked her hips against my hand.

"Maybe I should make _you_ pay for the little stunt _you_ just pulled," I said, pulling my hand away slightly, so that my fingers were just barely brushing her slick skin.

She grunted in disapproval, tilting her hips, searching for the friction that I had just removed. I pulled my hand further away and she _oomphed_ in frustration.

"That wasn't very nice, Isabella…" I remonstrated.

She grunted in what I assumed was agreement.

"You don't like it very much, either, do you?" I asked.

"No…" she whined in a desperately contrite voice. Her hips swiveled erratically in a frantic search for contact.

I chuckled. "Do you want me to stop?"

"Fuck no!" she exclaimed, again tilting her hips towards my stationary fingers.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" I asked.

"I'm sorry?" It was a question, not an answer.

My fingers inched slowly downwards.

"What else?" I prodded.

"It wasn't very nice of me?"

My fingers slid through her slick folds, capturing some of her moisture, and then pulling back to tease the bundle of nerves at the apex of her thighs.

"And…"

"Oh shit! _Edward_… How the hell am I supposed to remember what the fuck we were talking about when you touch me like _that_?"

She was panting in frustration as her pelvis rocked against my teasing fingers. I chuckled at the annoyed tone in her voice. My amusement with her situation obviously pissed her off, because suddenly, she stopped moving and opened her eyes to glare at me.

"Are you going to fuck me or not? 'Cause if you're not, then we really should get on the road—"

I sat up abruptly, cutting her off with my mouth. She had never spoken about sex in those terms before, and I had never expected to like that derogatory expression. But for some reason, hearing her ask me if I was going to _fuck her_ was an incredible turn on. I slipped my fingers lower and without any preamble, shoved two inside of her, hard and fast. Her forehead dropped forward to rest against mine as she gasped then groaned, grinding her pelvis against my hand.

I leaned up to whisper raggedly into her ear. "Do you want me to _fuck_ you, Isabella?"

I drew the word out in a suggestive, yet disconnected manner. Just saying the word in this context had my dick harder than it had ever been, and I was shocked again by my response. I considered myself to be a conscientious lover, but I was feeling anything but conscientious right now. No… For the first time in my life, I wanted it rough, raw and fast. So did she, apparently.

She grunted in approval and nodded her head quickly. "Fuck, yes!"

I bit the skin beneath her ear, harder than usual, earning another moan. One of her hands slipped into my hair, and she tugged roughly in invitation. With a groan, my mouth crashed to hers, and I plunged my tongue into her mouth, initiating a desperate kiss.

A wild flurry of flailing limbs and discarded clothing ensued. Our quest to disrobe was thwarted a bit by my refusal to abandon her lips or to remove my fingers from inside her during the process. Her fingers never relinquished their death grip on my hair, either. Yet I somehow managed to divest her of the hoodie and shoved my free hand beneath the silky cup of her bra in order to palm her breast. She unbuttoned my shirt and pushed it from my shoulders, then unzipped my pants and reached in to grab my hard, throbbing, and more-than-ready shaft with her small, warm hand. I gasped when she pulled me out of my pants and pumped me slightly. Seeing that my hands were busy at the moment—one was shoved between our bodies, sliding in and out of her slickness, and the other was pinching her nipple—I used my feet, and I somehow managed to shimmy her jeans down her legs and kick them free.

Finally, she lay naked on top of me. She released me from her grip, and I removed my fingers from her wet well, my hands coming to rest on her hips. One quick roll of her hips, and I was poised at her slick entrance. I bucked my hips gently, the head of my dick just barely slipping into her. She looked down at me, an expression of pure lust crossing her face before she bit her lip. Acting in concert, she impaled herself upon me at the exact moment as I thrust upwards. We both groaned in unison as our bodies were joined.

It was not slow and sweet, nor was it tender and loving. This was a raw and explosively needy sexual encounter that had us both panting in mere seconds, straining wildly to achieve an almost immediate release. Our hips moved in synchronization; my hard, fast thrusts were met by her opposing downward gyrations. When she grunted in frustration, I slipped a hand back between our bodies to press against her. She convulsed around me at the first brush of my fingers against her swollen flesh.

I loved watching Isabella come for me. Her wide chocolate eyes, dilated with desire and awe, were always unguarded at the moment of release. Filled with love for me. In those few moments, I felt absolutely connected to her, body and soul. I maintained eye contact—needing the visual connection—as her body continued to quiver around me.

Her moans and panting breaths drove me towards my own climax.

"_Edward_…" she groaned, as she finally began to relax against me.

The sound of her voice speaking my name in that ragged, sexy way pushed me over the edge. I groaned in longing, and with one last thrust, I released violently inside of her. As soon as my movements stilled, she collapsed onto my chest and buried her nose in my neck. My arms snaked around her waist, holding her tenderly against me. We were both breathing heavy, our pulses pounding furiously.

We lay wrapped in each other for a few minutes before she finally pulled away to look at me with a sheepish smile.

"What?" I asked indulgently.

Her smile widened. "Well… somehow that didn't really feel like punishment."

I chuckled. "No, I guess not."

"I am sorry, though…"

Her brow furrowed with a small frown and I quirked an eyebrow in question—I didn't like that she was sorry in any way about this encounter.

"Why's that?" I hesitantly asked.

"We're really running late now…"

I smiled and caressed her sides with the fingers that were resting at her waist. Yeah, we were running behind the schedule that I had set. Way, way behind. But the reason for the delay was completely worth it. My need for Isabella—my need to be connected to her—far outweighed my need for punctuality at this moment.

"Not a problem, love. The cabin will be there no matter what time we arrive. Besides, we both needed this right now, it seems."

She smiled in return and resettled herself on my chest. We stayed like that for a while, until I softened inside of her and eventually slipped out. With a soft kiss we sat up and pulled away from each other. She gathered her discarded clothing from the floor and began getting dressed as I buttoned my shirt and zipped my pants. I couldn't resist the urge to smack her backside once again when she bent over to pull up her jeans, and that started a short wrestling match, which quickly morphed into another kissing session when we both tumbled back onto the bed that we had just vacated.

**~ Saturday ~**

I woke up Saturday morning with Isabella wrapped in my arms. I loved watching Isabella in the mornings—I smiled as I looked upon her sleeping face, which was completely relaxed in repose. Her head rested on my shoulder, her hair was a tangled mess that surrounded both of our heads, and one of her legs was flung across my thighs. My fingers gently brushed her upper arm, relishing the feel of her silky skin. She whimpered slightly as I stroked her skin, a sign that she was rousing. I lowered my lips to her forehead, brushing a kiss across her brow as I recalled the events of the previous evening.

We had finally arrived at the cabin a little after midnight. It had ended up taking us several hours to get on the road last night; we had made out for a while—soft kisses and gentle caresses—needing the closeness and the emotional reconnection after our explosive…_fuck_. We hadn't left until about six, which was far later than I had anticipated. But we had both gotten into my SUV relaxed and with happy grins on our faces.

The drive to the cabin had passed relatively quickly. We conversed easily about school and classes, as well as family and friends, although we had bickered over driving music—I tended to gravitate towards classic rock while she preferred top-40's pop. I had finally compromised by plugging in my iPod and giving it to her. At least I had chosen all the music that it contained.

We had stopped in Vancouver for a late dinner, which had extended our trip to almost six hours. When we had finally arrived, moonlight shrouded the cabin in a mysterious air that was somehow both haunting and inviting at the same time. As I had ushered Isabella up the walkway, the moonlight caused the freshly-fallen snow to glitter, providing a subtly romantic ambience.

I had given her a quick tour before settling our suitcases in the master suite. I had never before brought a girl here, and I'd felt kind of weird being in my parent's bedroom with my girlfriend. In fact, this would be the first time I stayed in a room other than my own. But this room was on the opposite side of the house from the two remaining bedrooms, and would offer us some privacy—no way was I sharing a wall with Alice. Not to mention, it had its own private bathroom.

Not surprisingly, we had both been quite tired; it had been a long trip that had been preceded by an even longer make out session. We had changed clothes and crawled into bed within twenty minutes of arriving. I'd hoped that we might make love, but sleep had claimed both of us within moments of lying down. The last thing I remembered was gathering her in my arms and telling her good night.

I now watched as Isabella awoke slowly. Her whimpers and incoherent mumbles eventually faded. I knew the exact moment that she became fully aware of her surroundings; the arm that was resting on my chest began absently tracing designs on my skin. I smiled.

"Morning, love," I greeted with another tender kiss to her forehead as I looked down upon her.

She stretched against me just a little, which brought her body into even closer contact, her soft breasts pushing into my chest. I smiled when her eyes opened to meet mine; the look in her eyes revealed that she knew _exactly_ what she was doing, and the effect that her body was having on mine. With another smirk, she rolled over so that her backside was pressed against my side. She had slept only in a pair of panties and one of my old tee-shirts, and when she rolled over, the shirt rode up, exposing the skin at her waist. I quickly rolled to my side and scooped her body against my own, pressing my morning wood into her scantily-clad backside.

"Good morning to you, too," she drawled, wiggling her hips.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked as I snaked my arm around her waist and slipped my fingers underneath the waistband of her panties. She sucked in a small breath.

"What are my options?" she asked.

"Well, it snowed yesterday…"

My fingers slipped lower as I listed our options.

"We could go skiing…"

She moaned softly when I lightly grazed her tender flesh.

"Or sledding…"

Isabella sucked in a ragged breath as my fingers dipped into her folds and found her wet and ready.

"Or tubing..."

She parted her legs slightly and tilted her hips forward in invitation. I teased her slick skin, spreading her wetness around before I slipped one finger inside of her. Her hand moved back to settle on my hip, her nails digging lightly into my skin.

"Edward…" she panted. "I don't think any activity which involves me barreling down an ice-covered mountain would be in my—or your—best interest."

I chuckled lightly. Coordination was not one of Isabella's strong suits.

"Point taken," I conceded.

I stroked my finger slowly inside of her, and her hips bucked forward against my hand.

"We could just play in the snow?" I suggested.

She gave a little grunt, which could have been either a positive or negative answer. Then again, it could have just been a response to my finger, which had curled inward to tease her sweet spot.

"We don't _have_ to go outside…" I continued in a seductive tone. "We could start a fire and just hang out inside, if you wish."

I pulled my hand back and added a second finger, then pushed back into her wet heat.

"We could stay in bed for a while…" she moaned breathlessly as I pumped my fingers purposefully against her.

"Yes, we could," I agreed.

I lowered my head and nipped at the skin at the juncture of her shoulder and neck, knowing that it turned her on. Her hand clawed awkwardly at my boxers as she attempted to push them down. I aided her by lifting my hips slightly and tugging at my underwear with my free hand. When they finally slipped over my hip, my erection sprang free and came to rest at the juncture of her legs and her backside. She parted her legs further, giving my hand better access and allowing my straining shaft to push between them. I was surprised by the erotic sensation that erupted in my abdomen when my hips bucked forward and the head of my dick hit the knuckles of the fingers that were buried deep inside of her.

Pulling my fingers from her heat, I eased her panties over her hips and removed them. She moaned when my hips bucked forward, and my erection slid against her wetness. Reaching down, I pressed my hard length against her wet folds. One of her hands quickly replaced my own, holding me in place as she rocked gently against me; my shaft slid easily against her swollen, slick skin. She was hot and wet and ready.

I pulled back slightly, aligning myself at her entrance.

"You ready, love?"

"Uh huh," she moaned.

She arched her back to provide a better angle, and I pressed forward slightly so that I entered her. Rocking my hips gently, I eased forward in small increments. And when I was fully seated within her, my hips flush against her backside, we both sighed in contentment. Her arms snaked up to wrap around the back of my neck, pulling my face towards hers. Turning slightly, she brushed her lips across my cheek.

"I love you, Edward," she whispered.

My lips brushed her ear as I whispered back.

"Always, Isabella. I will always love you."

She moaned, tilting her hips backwards to improve the angle and increase the pressure. We began to rock slowly against each other—in no hurry this morning—wanting nothing more than the intense physical and emotional connection we now shared. Her hand remained anchored in my hair, holding my head to her neck. My arm circled her waist, pulling her body flush against mine as I buried my nose in her hair.

We moved leisurely for quite some time, enjoying the slow, easy lovemaking for as long as possible. I felt… _content_… being with her—in her—as if my world was complete, simply because she was in it. I was connected to Isabella, body and soul, in a way that I had never previously experienced. In that moment, I realized that she _was_ my life, and that I would never be the same without her. My arm tightened slightly around her waist, pulling her more snugly against me, wanting nothing—no space, no air—to come between us. As if in understanding, her fingers flexed in my hair, and she pulled my head even closer. She sighed when my lips brushed the back of her neck.

But eventually slow and easy wasn't enough. When she began whimpering, I increased my pace, thrusting into her faster and harder. My hand slipped from her waist down to where our bodies were joined. I trailed lazy circles against her sensitive flesh, relishing the breathy moans that my ministrations induced. Her gasps and moans grew louder and more insistent, and she began moving against me more purposefully. When I felt her begin to tremble, I knew that she was close.

"_Edward_…" she moaned in desperation, her hips bucking furiously against mine.

"What do you need, love?" I asked, once again brushing my lips against her neck.

"More… harder… _ugh_…" she panted.

I pressed my fingers firmly against her swollen flesh. "Like this?"

Her hand relinquished my hair and slammed down on top of mine, pressing my fingers even more tightly against her sensitive flesh. Her hips bucked backwards one final time and her breath caught. She slammed her head into my shoulder.

"Ohhh… Fuck… yes…" she moaned.

I continued to move inside her as her body convulsed around me, her clenching walls sucking me in and driving me relentlessly towards my own climax. The tell-tale tingles erupted in my abdomen and with one final thrust, my own release spilled forth. My teeth sank into her shoulder in an attempt to contain the primal shout that bubbled up from deep within my chest, but I couldn't contain the desperate noise that gurgled forth in a gasping groan.

Her hand retraced its downward path in reverse to settle back in my hair. She stroked soothingly before gently tugging my face to hers. Her lips brushed my own.

"Good, baby?" she asked with a breathy voice.

I simply grunted in assent as my hand resettled at her waist and squeezed gently. Good didn't even come close to describing the feelings and emotions that were coursing through my body. I was exhilarated, yet completely relaxed. Loved and in love. Sure of nothing and everything all at once. I squeezed her again, and she sighed, turning her head to brush her lips across my cheek yet one more time.

I squeezed my eyes shut as I buried my head in her neck. We laid there for a while, with me still inside of her, holding her tightly to me and refusing to let her go. When I finally opened my eyes, it was to find a purpling bruise on her shoulder that precisely matched the impression of my teeth. I frowned as I stared at the blemish I had left on her perfect skin. My lips apologized for the damage that my teeth had inflicted upon her tender flesh with small kisses and gentle nips.

Eventually, she pulled away and rolled over to face me. She rested her cheek on one hand, while the other grabbed my hand, which was lying on the mattress between us. I squeezed her fingers tightly, trying to convey all that I felt with that one completely insignificant gesture. She squeezed back.

"I know…" she whispered, an awed tone to her voice.

We laid there for quite some time, simply staring—communicating silently—and holding hands. With one final squeeze of her fingers, I leaned forward to capture her lips tenderly with my own. We had kissed countless times before, but this kiss was different, I could feel it. I poured everything that I was, everything that I had, into that one gesture. For me, this was more than just a kiss, more than just a simple 'I love you'.

It was a promise, a vow.

At that precise moment, I had no clue what the future held in store for me, for us. But I knew that any future without her in it would be empty and meaningless for me. I only hoped that she felt the same way.

~/~

Following the overwhelmingly intense emotions of the morning, I decided that we needed to spend some time doing something carefree, something to lighten the mood and get us back into 'spring break mode'. This was supposed to be a week of fun, a time to relax and enjoy, a time to escape the uncertainty of our futures and the myriad of life-altering decisions that awaited us back home. So after we finally managed to drag ourselves out of bed, which I must admit took far too long and required way too much effort—at least on my part—we bundled up in our snow gear and set out to explore.

The cabin was set right alongside one of the slopes, and though our view was hidden by the row of trees planted purposefully to provide privacy, as soon as we stepped outside, we could hear the laughing voices of the nearby skiers, as well as the sound of the skis themselves slicing through the upper layers of the newly-fallen snow. Isabella slipped her hand into mine and squeezed gently as she smiled in wonder at the undisturbed beauty of the sparkling snow. Hand-in-hand, we stepped off the back porch and headed towards the trail that led down the mountain to the main lodge. Everyone in my family was an accomplished skier, and in the past, we always skied down the slope to get to the main building; I had never walked the trail. Although it was an easy trek, it took longer than I anticipated, and I worried about the return trip, which would be an uphill climb.

When we finally entered the lodge, we immediately gravitated towards the restaurant. Due to our late arrival last night, we hadn't stopped for groceries on the way in, and I was starving. It was now almost noon, and the pot of coffee I had brewed this morning—while appreciated for its restorative caffeine—had not done anything to curb my appetite. We chose a table next to one of the massive fireplaces and perused the menus that our waiter handed us. When asked what we would like to drink, I had to chuckle when Isabella ordered hot chocolate.

"Really?" I asked, amused. I quirked my eyebrow at her. "Hot chocolate? How old are you? Ten?"

She stuck her tongue out at me as she rolled her eyes.

"Oh, c'mon, Edward. Everyone knows that hot chocolate just _goes_ with snow."

I just shook my head and placed my own order. It had been years since I had drunk anything other than coffee when skiing, and I wasn't about to change that tradition now.

But when her drink came—topped with whipped cream and chocolate shavings, no less—I had to admit that I was a little disappointed that I hadn't followed her lead. Not that I would admit that… She obviously observed me staring in fascinated longing at her beverage because the corners of her mouth tilted upwards in a knowing smirk. Lifting her cup, she brought it to her lips, and I couldn't help but watch the way her tongue darted out to lick away the whipped cream that attached itself to her face. I must have made some noise because her tongue paused in its motion and her eyes darted to mine. Once eye contact was established, her tongue resumed its slow path across her lip, and I groaned audibly at the sight. When the last dollop of cream disappeared behind her lips, she smirked at me again.

Throughout breakfast, she taunted me with the hot chocolate—dipping her finger or tongue in the cream and making the most delectable noises. I couldn't help but watch each of her moves, and when the cup was finally empty, I leaned across the table to kiss away the last errant bit of chocolate-covered cream that clung to her lips. She chuckled as I pulled back.

"Really, Edward," she admonished, her eyes twinkling, "If you wanted some so badly, you could have asked… I would have shared."

I just shook my head. "Nope. It was yours, love. I wouldn't have dreamed of depriving you of something you so obviously enjoyed."

She scoffed. "I saw the way you were staring at me the whole time. I know you wanted some…"

"You could have offered…"

She laughed. "Where's the fun in that? Besides, I liked watching the way that you watched me enjoy it."

Her voice became suggestive and husky with that last statement, and the seductive tone washed across my skin, arousing me. I shifted slightly in my seat, glad we were still sitting at the table. At this point, I realized that she had the upper hand in this conversation, a fact that I was not entirely happy with. I decided to turn the tables on her.

"Well… Since you like watching me watch you while you find _pleasure_…" I waggled my eyebrows suggestively before continuing in a soft, seductive whisper. "I have some ideas…"

A becoming flush spread across her cheeks, but she didn't look away.

Any planned retort was interrupted when our waiter returned and asked if we were ready for our check. I nodded in the affirmative, but maintained my eye contact with Isabella.

"Can I get you guys anything else?" he asked politely.

I winked at Isabella before breaking our intense stare and turning towards him. "Can we get two hot chocolates to go, please?"

She smiled at me knowingly, and I shrugged. What could I say?

"I thought you were too old for hot chocolate," she stated.

I cocked my head as a looked contemplatively at her. "Well… we're on spring break; we're supposed to act like kids, right?"

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, but a tender smile twitched at the corner of her lips. I couldn't help but grin at her in return.

~/~

We spent the afternoon playing in the snow. It was freeing. For the first time in months, I wasn't thinking about the future and the plethora of decisions that needed to be made. I was simply playing in the snow, thinking of nothing other than having fun, which for me, was a really big step.

The hot chocolate must have resurrected each and every one of my childish tendencies, because I found myself acting in a very undignified and immature manner. We made snow angels, built a snowman—which we topped with an old baseball cap and scarf that we found in the cabin's shed—and threw snowballs at each other. Isabella's aim left a lot to be desired; I on the other hand, had impeccable aim, and she began to get frustrated with my well-placed missiles. I even managed to tackle Isabella in the snow, like something you'd see in a movie, distracting her with my lips so I could shove a handful of snow down the open neck of her jacket. She screamed in protest and attempted to retaliate, but I kept her pinned beneath me and again distracted her with a kiss. And when that action became a little too hot and heavy for the family-friendly area in which we were playing, I pulled out my final surprise. Despite Isabella's initial protests, she eagerly climbed between my legs so that we could ride the toboggan down the gentle slope behind the cabin.

We finally stumbled our way back inside around four in the afternoon. Three hours outside in the fresh air had taken a toll, and as soon as we sat down on the couch, we both instantly fell asleep. By the time I awoke some time later, it was dark outside.

A glance at the clock revealed that it was nearly seven o'clock. I sighed in resignation. For the second night in a row, my plans—my schedule—had been disrupted. But then I looked down at the girl who was still sleeping soundly against my side, and I smiled. Even in sleep, she completely controlled me; her arm was wrapped snugly around me, her leg was once again thrown across mine, and her head was nuzzled into my shoulder. Contentment filled me as I gazed unblinking at the young woman who held my heart in the palm of my hand.

I wanted to let her sleep, to keep holding her against my body, but if we didn't get up soon, we would have to go without food tonight. We had planned to go to the grocery store this afternoon, but our unplanned nap had prevented that from happening. My stomach rumbled hungrily. We would have to go out, and we were nowhere near presentable with our snow-matted hair and wearing only the thermal underwear that we had donned beneath our snow gear earlier. I roused her with a gentle kiss to the forehead. Her eyes cracked open to look at me.

"Hey, baby," she greeted sleepily.

"We need to get up, love. It's late, and we still have no food here."

After a quick shower, we threw on some clothes and contemplated our options. We decided to eat at the lodge for several reasons. First, it was close. But more importantly, the slopes were still open, and with the skiers dropping in to get a bite to eat, we would not be out of place dining in sweatshirts and baseball caps. We claimed the same table that we had dined at earlier in the day, drank some more hot chocolate, and ate a leisurely meal.

Following dinner, we returned to the cabin and lit a fire. Opting to forego the television, I plugged in my iPod and selected a playlist composed of quiet, romantic music. I pulled all the pillows from the couch and spread a quilt on the floor in front of the fire. I sat down, gesturing for her to do the same, and I pulled her body to mine when she joined me. We laid together on the blanket, enjoying the relaxing ambience and talking for hours about everything and nothing at the same time. We were happy just being together, needing nothing but our own company.

Throughout the evening, we kissed and touched, but there was nothing urgent in any of our actions. We simply relaxed, our lips occasionally brushing between conversations, our clothes somehow disappearing over time. I was completely amazed by the range of emotions that we had experienced together over the past two days. Yesterday afternoon had been primal, animalistic in nature, while this morning had been an intensely emotional connection. This evening was different yet again: relaxed and easy—comfortable and completely natural—a slow progression from conversation to communion.

When she finally lay before me, naked and exposed, I worshipped her body with my own. I showered her with soft, slow kisses and gentle caresses. I teased her with my fingers and brought her to the brink of release before I finally gave in to her request and slowly entered her.

We made love in front of the fire, completely open to one another, hiding nothing. Our eyes locked, and our hands clasped together as I rocked within her. I watched as every emotion she was experiencing danced across her face and flashed from her eyes. And when her body finally trembled around mine, her soft cries and declarations of love pulled me into the vortex with her.

We lay entwined together in front of the fire for quite some time, unwilling to pull apart, floating downward from the high that we had just experienced together. Eventually I rolled to her side and pulled her body against mine. I reached for the quilt, covering us both. Her hand curled around my arm, pulling me loser, and she shivered when my lips brushed the back of her neck gently. I snuggled in closer, enjoying the warmth from both the fire and the fact that our naked bodies were pressed together.

Squeezing her gently, I lowered my lips to her ear.

"I love you, Isabella."

"I love you, too. Edward. So much…"

"Always."

* * *

**A/N:** So what did you guys think of EmoWard? Yes, he's bit tormented, worrying about the future, and he thinks _way _too much, but he's so sweet, isn't he?

*sigh*

Questions? Theories? Suggestions? Come play on the TaLT discussion thread: http://www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

You can also follow me on Twitter (KristenLynn1121) or Facebook (Kristen Lynn; look for the kitty avatar). I post teasers at all of these sites.

OK… Since this was a bonus chapter, there will now be two regular chapters left plus the epi, and then this little trip will be officially over. I hope that you all have enjoyed the ride! It's been a blast sharing this E/B with you and reading all of your thoughts/ideas. If it wasn't for you, this story would have been over at the end of the original o/s. But there was more of the story to be told, so thank you for encouraging me to write it and for sticking with me during the telling!

: )

Heads up: I am going on vacation later this week, and will have no computer or internet access for 10 days. Eek! So, it will probably be Monday, May 10 before I update next.


	12. I Have Never

**A/N:** Hi Guys! Sorry for the delay in the update. A few reasons:

First, a lot of you probably know that I went on vacation a few weeks back. What you may not know is that I live in Nashville, TN, and we returned home on Saturday May 1, in a lull between the storms that resulted in the massive flooding. I was lucky; we sustained no damage despite receiving 18 inches of rain at our house in just under 48hrs. Others were not so lucky. To help, I will be offering a TaLT outtake in the Fics For Nashville relief effort (more info to follow in A/N at bottom). The format is similar to what was done for the Haiti relief; a $5 minimum donation to one of the suggested charities will earn you a compilation of short fics from multiple authors. Information can be found at The TwilightAwards: http://www(dot)thetwilightawards(dot)com/2010/05/fics-for-nashville-how-you-can-help(dot)html#nashville

Second, this chapter is a monster! Even after I made cuts, it's still over 13.5K. As such, it took my betas quite a while to edit this sucker. Thanks to LaraIsAwkward and moonlightdreamer33 for their beta awesomeness. Thanks also to Kaydee1005, belladonna1472, and lisamichelle17 for pre-reading parts of this chapter. I love you guys!

A final (and special) thanks to all who responded to my request for 'I have never' suggestions. Each and every response that you will read about later in this chapter were answers given to me on Twitter or various discussion boards (*cough* DW *cough*). Man, are we some kinky h00rs!

**Disclaimer:** Twilight belongs to Stephenie, but this story-line is mine. Although I think it's safe to say that all of us will be able to relate to some of the shit that's about to go down…

**

* * *

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~/~ April ~/~

**Part II: Bella**

**~ Sunday ~**

I awoke with a start, at first completely disoriented. The fire was dying, and I wondered if one of the snapping, popping logs had been the cause of my rousing. But then I heard it again, the sound that had woken me—a scratching noise coming from the direction of the door. I reached for Edward.

"Edward," I hissed as I shook his arm.

"Hmm…" he hummed in his sleep, his arm tightening around my waist.

The scratching sound at the door increased; it sounded like a key had just been inserted into the lock.

"Edward!" I called more forcefully, shaking him harder in hopes that he would wake up.

"What?" he asked sleepily, fending off my flailing hands.

I sat up, clasping the blanket to my chest. My eyes were trained on the door, and I watched in horrified fascination as the handle started to twist.

"I think someone is trying to get in!" I spoke in alarm.

He jerked upright at my words.

"What?" he shouted.

He located his glasses, which were on the coffee table, and pushed the metal frames up his nose. We both began frantically searching for our clothing. Mine were nowhere to be found, but Edward found his jeans a few feet away, and he had just yanked them on when I heard the unmistakable sound of the door clicking open. Whispers entered the room.

Edward scrambled to his feet, hauling me up with him. I was still naked—having been unable to locate any of my clothing—so I clutched the blanket tightly around me. We turned towards the door, watching as it opened slowly. My breath caught and my heart began pounding a frantic beat. Edward edged in front of me, his arms splayed out as if to protect me.

The whispering voices were quite audible as a group of people tumbled through the door. I screamed, which caused everyone—including Edward—to jump. The mass of bodies that had just cleared the doorframe halted. I whimpered as one of them moved. The lights flickered on, and I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted to the invading fluorescence. I heard giggling, and my eyes narrowed as they landed on our friends and family. Edward cursed.

"Alice…" he growled. "You scared the shit out of us. What the hell are you doing here?"

I pulled the blanket more tightly around myself and stepped closer to Edward in order to use his body as a partial shield. His arm slipped around my shoulder.

"I called you earlier. Obviously you didn't get the message," Alice replied snarkily while shrugging her shoulders. She eyed us both disdainfully before her eyes slid to the pile of pillows and haphazardly scattered clothing that littered the floor in front of the fireplace. Her voice dripped with condescension when she spoke again. "I think we can all figure out why…"

"My phone never rang. It was in my pocket; I would've heard it," Edward argued.

Alice rolled her eyes before narrowing them at him. "Well, I called. Several times over the past few hours. It's not my fault that your phone wasn't turned on."

Edward reached into his pocket and extracted his cell phone. He flipped it open and frowned. From the dark screen, it was obvious that his phone was not turned on. He hit a few buttons, but nothing happened.

"Battery must have died," he posited.

Alice chortled gleefully. I scowled in her direction. I was distracted when another, softer, voice addressed me.

"I tried calling you, too, Bella," Rosalie offered with an apologetic smile. "But yours went straight to voicemail as well."

Yes, it would have. I had turned my phone off yesterday morning when we went outside in order to save the battery—I had forgotten to pack my charger. I hadn't turned it back on after we came inside in the afternoon, and we hadn't made it past the den when we returned from dinner last night.

I nodded at Rose, and she offered another sad smile. Her eyes asked silently if I was okay. My cheeks flamed with embarrassment at the realization that I was standing in a room full of people while I was still essentially naked. I tugged awkwardly at the blanket.

We were all standing around, staring at each other warily, when I noticed Emmett's lips quirk in a grin. Following his gaze, I found my bra peeking out at him from under the coffee table. I scowled in his direction, which only caused his smile to expand. His eyes darted around, taking in the clothing that was scattered across the floor, and his shoulders started shaking. Jasper soon joined in, and my eyes narrowed further as their loud guffaws filled the room. Stepping forward, I snatched my bra and matching thong from the floor, waving them in the air.

"You guys find this fucking funny?" I screeched.

They just laughed louder, so with a huff, I stuffed my undergarments into the blanket I was wearing as a toga and stormed from the room. Alice's laughing voice chased me down the hall as I stomped towards the bedroom.

"'Night, Bella!"

Before I reached my destination, Edward's voice reached my ears. He was once again practically growling.

"Alice…" I could imagine the angry look on his face that likely accompanied his words. "Why don't you make yourself useful and show Emmett and Rose to their room."

I closed the door on his voice and located my clothing. By the time Edward joined me in the master suite, I was clad in my most conservative sleepwear—my thermals—and buried safely under the covers. I heard him shuffling around the room as he got ready for bed, and eventually I felt his weight settle in the bed. His hand searched for me, but when he couldn't immediately find me, he pulled the blankets back to expose me. I groaned when my gaze landed on his worried green eyes.

"Oh, my God," I moaned. "Could that have been any more embarrassing?"

He chuckled. "Honestly?"

I nodded.

"Well… yes. What if they had arrived a few hours earlier?"

A few hours earlier, we had been making love in front of the fireplace. Just the thought of Alice walking in on us again was enough to make me shudder. I allowed Edward to gather me into his arms, and I relaxed into his embrace when he pulled my body against his own. Once I was snuggled against him, the adrenaline faded as quickly as it had surged earlier, and despite the excitement of the past hour, I realized that I was exhausted. My eyes drifted shut. Edward's mumbled words of love chased me into unconsciousness.

~/~

In spite of the fact that we had been woken up at four o'clock in the morning when the rest of our group arrived—really fucking early, I might add—I was unable to sleep in on Sunday morning. I awoke in the same position that I had fallen asleep, wrapped in Edward's arms. My body was pressed tightly against his, and despite his overly-eager morning wood, which I could feel pressing insistently into my backside despite the multiple layers of clothing I was sporting, I was not in the mood. Which really fucking annoyed me.

The setting was perfect: soft light filtered into the room through the window, and I was ensconced in a huge, warm bed with Edward's arms holding me close. It was quiet and peaceful, suggesting that we were alone. But I knew differently. And just knowing that other people were there was a deterrent.

Correction. Knowing that _Alice_ was there was the real reason that I would be spending the rest of the week in self-imposed celibacy.

Even after all this time, Alice still harbored a huge grudge against me, and I couldn't understand why. She had seemed to accept my explanation about my relationship with Edward when we had talked back in January, so I knew that her bitterness had to stem from something other than that. Likely something personal. But I couldn't figure out what—Alice and I had not interacted much in the past. In fact, the only time we'd had any sort of public interaction at all had been that afternoon at the movies almost five years ago. I knew that I had been harsh to her that day, but it had been a quick blow-off in front of only one person. I felt like I was missing some important piece of the puzzle.

I pulled away from Edward's warm, soft lips, which had somehow found the back of my neck, and nudged his questing fingers from beneath my shirt. Rolling to the side, I popped up from the bed. His frustrated huff made me laugh just a little.

"Not this morning, Romeo." I waggled my eyebrows at him. "We have places to go, people to see…"

"People that _you_ chose to include," he grumbled. "_I_ was perfectly fine with this being a romantic getaway for two."

Edward pushed a hand through his sleep-tousled hair in frustration, and I felt a smile quirk at the corners of my lips. I walked to his side of the bed and leaned down to kiss him on the forehead. Just as I was standing back up, his hand snaked out and grabbed my waist. I was caught off-balance when he tugged, and I toppled forward onto his chest. His lips unerringly found my neck again.

"Much better," he sighed.

I squirmed against him, but halted when he bucked his hips against mine. The feel of his arousal caused me to groan in both frustration and irritation. Placing my hands on his chest, I pushed gently.

"Edward, seriously, I'm not in the mood right now."

He frowned. In some ways, I couldn't blame him. I had never said 'no' before; we were both always eager to express our love. But today… His frown deepened as he took in the seriousness of my expression, and his hands released me to once again plunge into his mussed hair.

"Alice?" he asked, although it sounded more like an accusatory growl.

I just nodded.

"I don't know what her deal is," he huffed. "I just don't get it. We're happy… even she has admitted to me that she can see how happy we both are when we're together. Something just doesn't make sense… I feel like I'm missing something."

I nodded again. His thoughts precisely mirrored my own. "Yeah… me, too. I just hope that we get to the bottom of it soon. I don't know how much more of her passive-aggressive bullshit I can take."

His arms tightened around me once more, and I reached down to brush my lips lightly across his before I pushed up from him and got off the bed. I padded to the bathroom in order to get ready for the day ahead.

Ten minutes later, I was standing in front of the sliding glass door in the living area. It was snowing. I loved the snow, and I was happy to watch the fat, heavy flakes fall while I waited for everyone else to get up. We had no plans that were set in stone for the day, especially since the others hadn't originally planned to arrive until this afternoon.

Once everyone had assembled, we discussed our plans for the day. Jasper and Emmett decided that they wanted to go skiing; neither of them had ever been before, so they were eager to try. Knowing that we needed food for the week—not to mention wanting to avoid any activity that had me traveling down a mountain at a high rate of speed while attempting to keep my balance on a pair of wooden sticks—I volunteered to go to the grocery store. Edward appeared torn, wanting to stay with me, but obviously itching to hit the slopes. I encouraged him to go with the guys, and Rose immediately offered to come with me. Alice—no surprises here—decided to stay with the guys.

We all agreed that the first order of business was breakfast, and since we had no food in the cabin, that meant the lodge. We decided to take Edward's SUV for several reasons: first, because we really didn't want to walk; and more importantly, because all of us—not to mention Edward and Alice's ski equipment—could fit in it. Over breakfast, we discussed meal options for the week, and everyone made their food requests. When we were done, we all walked out to the SUV together so that Edward and Alice could retrieve their ski gear. The snow had begun falling more heavily while we had been dining, so Rose and I decided to go straight to the store before the roads turned slick. Edward handed me the keys and his credit card before kissing me goodbye.

It was nice to have some alone time with Rose. I was surprised to realize that we hadn't seen much of each other since we both began our relationships. We conversed easily as we pushed the cart up and down the aisles, filling it with food items for the meals we had discussed, easy meals that pleased everyone: cereal and milk for breakfast; luncheon meat, cheese and bread to make sandwiches for lunches; chili and cornbread, tacos, and a frozen lasagna for dinners. We also added juice, sodas, and beer. A shitload of beer. And of course, snacks: fruit, candy and chips. I rolled my eyes when Rose reached to the shelf and snagged a bag of Funyuns.

"Really, Rose… Funyuns?" I snorted. "When did you start eating that shit?"

She managed to look chagrined and sighed. "I know… They're totally fucking disgusting, right? But Emmett loves 'em, and I love him, so…"

I stopped in my tracks and turned to stare at her. Rose and Emmett had been dating for over six months now, and I knew that they were pretty serious, but she had never once mentioned the L word. A smile exploded on my lips.

"What?" she asked suspiciously.

"You love him? Really?" I asked, my smile expanding.

She blushed and ducked her head, but a smile twitched at the corner of her lips. "Yeah, I really do."

"Oh, sweetie, that's so great."

I enveloped her in a big hug. Like me, Rose hadn't had much luck in the love/relationship department, so she had avoided any sort of serious romantic entanglement for the past three years.

"How long have you felt that way?" I asked.

"I think I knew almost immediately. He's just so perfect for me, you know?" She looked at me imploringly, and I nodded. Emmett _was_ perfect for Rose. "He told me a few months back, but it took me a while to trust it; I've had such bad experiences in the past… I finally told him last week."

I hugged her again, and we remained like that for quite some time, wrapped in an embrace in the snack food aisle of the Thriftway, while tears of happiness fell down her cheeks. After years of being, well, not exactly miserable, but definitely unlucky in life and love, we had both found someone. When I thought about my good luck with Edward—the second chance we had been given, and how his love had changed me so irrevocably—tears began falling down _my_ cheeks as well.

"We're really lucky, aren't we?" I eventually asked as I stepped away from her.

She nodded. "Yeah, we are."

A bit embarrassed by our emotional outburst, we both wiped furiously at our wet faces and returned to shopping.

By the time we left the store, several inches of snow had accumulated. The drive back to the cabin—which was situated on a steep slope—was treacherous, and even driving slowly with the four-wheel drive engaged, the vehicle still managed to slip and slide all over the road. Becoming increasingly uncomfortable driving Edward's large SUV on unfamiliar roads, I was unwilling to attempt the final hill, so I parked on the side of the road at the top of the cul-de-sac that serviced the Cullen's cabin. Grabbing as many bags as possible, Rose and I carefully navigated the steep incline that led to the cabin. But we couldn't get everything; it took us two trips to get all the groceries into the house.

After we unpacked the groceries, we each snagged a beer and began working on dinner. I browned the meat while Rose cut onions and peppers. We added tomatoes and the seasoning packet, and within minutes, the spicy scent of the simmering chili filled the cabin. With nothing left to do for a while, we carried our beers to the den and resumed our conversation from the grocery store, talking about our relationships. The more she talked about Emmett, the more she smiled. And the more she smiled, the more I did as well.

"What?" she finally asked, looking up to find me staring goofily at her.

"I'm just happy to see _you_ so happy," I replied.

She smiled some more. 'Me, too, Bella. You know that you're my girl, and that I will always fucking love you, but I can tell how much happier you are now, too."

I _was_ happy. Happier than I had ever been. That Edward was the person responsible for my new-found happiness was a fact that I still had a hard time wrapping my head around sometimes.

I voiced my thoughts. "I still can't believe it sometimes, that I would get a second chance with him. I still don't feel worthy… so much shit happened between us in the past…"

Unfortunately, some of those negative things were still haunting us—mainly, Alice. I looked down at my hands, which were fiddling with my beer bottle.

"I worry every day that something will come back to bite me in the ass and that the whole thing will just… _poof_… disappear. That he won't want me anymore…"

Rose reached for my hand. "Oh, honey… I don't think you need to worry. You should see the way he looks at you; it's obvious that he loves you. He's not going anywhere."

I smiled, glad for her reassurances, but the smile faded quickly at her next words.

"Now, Alice, on the other hand… That girl is a piece of fucking work."

I nodded and sighed in resignation, letting my head fall back against the couch. "Tell me about it."

"What's her deal? She has it in for you, Bella. The entire ride here last night was filled with fucking digs and scathing comments. Jasper tried to shut her up—I like him, by the way—but…"

I just shook my head and lolled it to the side so that I could look at her. "I wish I knew Rose… There's gotta be a reason beyond Edward; I just don't know what the fuck it is."

Our conversation was interrupted by the opening of the door; the rest of the crew was returning from the slopes. Edward immediately spotted Rose and me sitting on the couch, and he frowned.

"Where's the car? Did you guys have trouble?" he asked.

"No problems. But with all the snow, I just didn't want to risk the hill—the car's at the top." I got up and walked into the kitchen to get the keys. I continued to make conversation over my shoulder. "You guys have fun?"

Edward nodded in the affirmative. Emmett chimed in.

"Hell, yeah! That was a fucking blast. "Rosie, babe, you're gonna have to try it tomorrow."

She blew him off with a mumbled, "Whatever…"

While Edward and the guys went to get the car, I started the cornbread. Thirty minutes later, we all sat down to eat. It was a relatively quite affair—everyone was pretty tired after the long night of the previous evening and several hours of fresh air this afternoon. The beer we drank with dinner likely didn't help.

We all went to bed early, and I once again felt guilty for giving Edward only a chaste kiss on the cheek when he so obviously was looking for something more. But I still wasn't in the mood, and I seriously doubted that anything would happen to change that while we were here.

**~ Monday ~**

Monday passed in much the same way as Sunday. We got up and ate a lazy breakfast, then headed down to the lodge in Edward's SUV to go skiing. The only difference: Rose and I decided to give the slopes a try this time. Neither of us had really wanted to go, but Edward and Emmett cajoled us, and not wanting to be spoil-sports, we had reluctantly agreed. So, after cleaning up, we all piled into Edward's SUV and headed to the lodge. While Edward and Alice unloaded their gear from the car, the rest of us headed to the rental desk to get outfitted. Once we had all obtained bibs, boots and skis, we headed to the slopes.

I knew in less than a minute that I would not enjoy skiing. I couldn't even _stand_ on the stupid fucking wooden sticks without falling over. And the rope-pull that was supposed to be easy for the beginners, that even the tiniest of kids mastered with ease? Yeah, even that seemed to be beyond me; I kept tipping over. Not falling per se, just tipping sideways. Alice cackled gleefully every time I ended up ass-first in the snow with my skis all tangled. Even Edward had a hard time keeping the smile off his face. After a few minutes, when I located the ski class for beginners, I told them to just go on and do their own thing. Thankfully they did. Unfortunately, every time I happened to see them after that, I was either on my ass or face-planted in the snow. Alice laughed every fucking time.

I lasted an hour. I never made it past the lesson or the practice hill. Rose fared a little better than me, and she managed to remain upright on the bunny slope during the lesson. I left her with Emmett and Jasper and turned my skis in as soon as I could. I wandered into the lodge and found a seat at the bar, where I remained until Rose, Emmett and Jasper found me a few hours later; Rose had taken a nasty spill—she had the beginnings of a black eye—and had decided that she'd had enough for the day.

Around four o'clock, it started snowing again, and the guys decided to try and track Edward and Alice down. After about fifteen minutes, Emmett returned with the keys to the car. I had been drinking for a few hours by this point and was not in any condition to drive, so Emmett drove the four of us back; Edward and Alice planned to ski in at the end of the session, which would be over in two more hours.

When we reached the cabin, we all collapsed in the den. Emmett turned on the TV, but I was asleep in the comfortable recliner within seconds of sitting down. I awoke with a start some time later, when warm lips gently nipped my neck and cold fingers slipped beneath my shirt to brush my stomach.

"Oh!" I exclaimed.

Edward's green eyes twinkled at me. "Time to wake up, sleeping beauty."

"Hey…" I greeted sleepily, stretching a little and trying to suppress a yawn. "Did you have a good time?"

"Sure, although I'm sure that I would have enjoyed it more with you."

"No you wouldn't have," I laughed. At his confused look, I clarified, "Trust me… it wasn't pretty. Definitely not worth watching. Although I guess I would have amused Alice for an hour or so."

"Why only an hour?" he asked.

"Because that's as long as I lasted."

His eyes widened. "But I saw Rose, Emmett and Jasper on the blue course. Weren't you with them?"

"Hell, no," I replied emphatically. "Edward, I couldn't stay upright on the stupid fucking rope pull and the practice hill. There was no way I was going to brave the ski lift. I wouldn't have made it off that thing without suffering some sort of bodily injury. And an acutal slope? No way. "

"So what did you do all afternoon?"

"Uh… the bar? Why do you think that Emmett took the keys?" I asked with a sheepish smile.

He frowned. "Oh…"

I reached up to cup his cheek. "Don't worry, baby. I knew I wouldn't like it, so I'm not disappointed. And don't feel bad, because I know how much you love it. Besides, I obviously _needed_ this nap."

I yawned again, and he chuckled in response. "Guess it's a good thing you're rested, 'cause you've got kitchen duty tonight…"

"But Rose and I cooked last night…" I whined.

"Well, Emmett and Rose headed back to 'clean up' about fifteen minutes ago; I don't think we'll see them for a while. Jasper is sleeping," he nodded over his shoulder to where Jasper was sprawled on the couch, "and Alice just went to take a shower. That leaves me, and you know that you don't want me cooking dinner…"

I laughed ruefully at that. Edward was notoriously hopeless in the kitchen, worse than Charlie, if that was even possible. I scowled playfully at him.

"Fine," I pouted. "I'll save your ass and cook dinner. But you're gonna have to keep me company in the kitchen."

Edward smiled. "Thanks, love. Knew I could count on you."

He kissed me once more, then offered his hand to pull me to my feet. We wandered into the kitchen, where I opened a bag of chips and dumped some salsa into a bowl. I placed them on the table in front of Edward—I needed to keep him entertained. While he snacked, I began to pull out all the necessary ingredients for tacos.

Alice walked into the room and headed to the refrigerator. She had just pulled out a beer and turned to the counter to open the top when I pulled the taco kit from the pantry.

"Shit, shit, shit!" I cursed at the box.

Edward's eyebrows raised in question.

"We got the wrong fucking box," I lamented.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

I turned the box to face him. It was a box of taco _shells_, not a _kit_. Damn… And because it had started snowing again, the roads were icy and we couldn't just run down to the store. I sighed heavily.

Alice's snarky comment didn't help. "Great. Dinner's really gonna suck now. Way to go, Bella."

I ground my teeth together to keep from making a snarky comment of my own—I really wanted to tell her that she was welcome to cook dinner. Instead, I chose to ignore her, and I continued my conversation with Edward as if she had never interrupted.

"Well, at least we got the cheese with taco seasoning, so it should be okay…" I reasoned.

I was right. With the taco cheese, it wasn't overly noticeable that we didn't have the seasoning packet. No one said anything except Alice, who kept making derogatory comments under her breath all throughout the meal. By the end of dinner, I was really fucking frustrated, and sensing my mood, Edward stepped in.

"Since Isabella cooked, you guys should clean tonight."

He grabbed two beers from the fridge and led me to the couch in the den. We turned on the TV, and within a few minutes, the rest of the crew made their way to join us. Once again, we found a raunchy comedy and laughed at the crazy antics of the onscreen characters while we drank our beers.

I fell asleep snuggled against Edward's side long before the movie was over.

**~ Tuesday ~ **

We slept in on Tuesday morning. Two days in the fresh air and two nights of drinking had left us all a bit sluggish. I awoke before Edward, and I got out of bed quickly, before he woke up. I was beginning to feel bad for spurning his advances, but I still wasn't in the mood. So, with a small smile in the direction of Edward's sleeping form, I headed towards the kitchen.

It was just after eleven o'clock, and I was the first one up. Or at least the first to venture from the bedroom. I grabbed a bowl and some cereal, and then took a seat at the table. By the time I was finished with my breakfast, everyone else had wandered into the kitchen as well.

"What we gonna do today?" Emmett asked with a yawn as he sat down at the table.

"Skiing?" Alice asked.

"No!" Rose and I chimed simultaneously.

Once had been more than enough for me, especially considering Alice's derogatory comments. With the tumble she had taken yesterday, Rose had seemingly had enough as well.

"You sure you don't want to try again?" Edward asked me. "I'll stay with you this time."

"Oh, I'm quite sure, but if you want to go, feel free."

Edward looked to the other guys, but neither Emmett nor Jasper seemed inclined to want to go skiing again; Jasper was leaning down and rubbing one of his hamstrings, and Emmett was sprawled unceremoniously on one of the chairs—he looked as if he had fallen back asleep. When Jasper nodded in Alice's direction, as if giving permission, Edward turned to his sister.

"You up for it, sis?"

"Sure thing!" she enthused.

Emmett cracked open his drooping eyes. "Well, that's fine and dandy for them, but what the fuck are the rest of us gonna do while Speedy Gonzales and Mighty Mouse are braving the slippery slopes?"

I snorted at Emmett's nicknames for Edward and Alice; they were quite fitting—not only as a reflection of Emmett's favorite cartoons, but also because Edward and Alice were good skiers and both of them did race at breakneck speed down the big hills. But his question raised a good point. How would the rest of us spend the day? While I had no desire to barrel down a mountain on a set of wooden sticks, I wouldn't mind playing in the snow. I voiced that thought.

"Any of you up for an afternoon outside?"

"Sure," Rose agreed.

Emmett sighed dramatically and turned to Jasper. "Looks like we're playing in the snow with the girls."

"I think we can handle that," he drawled.

An hour later, we were all bundled up in preparation for an afternoon outside. After they showed us where the toboggan, innertubes and other snow-related toys were stored, Edward and Alice skied off towards the slopes.

It was an afternoon much like the one I had spent with Edward on Saturday, except that there was no kissing for me. That didn't really matter as Emmett and Rose provided enough PDA for all of us. We built a couple of snow people, and Emmett took great pleasure in making the sexes of each one obvious; he gave the snowwoman very large snow breasts and the snowman a very impressive—and very erect—snow penis, complete with a set of snow balls. And of course, he couldn't resist making some perverted joke about a snow blower.

We took turns tobogganing and tubing down the slight incline behind the cabin, and inevitably, we had a snowball fight. Girls against guys was probably not the best division of power, but it was fun nonetheless. Until the end. I began to get worried when Emmett and Jasper held a suspicious looking huddle, during which they kept eying me. When they broke apart, they turned in my direction. The look in their eyes said it all.

_Shit_.

"Guys…" I warned.

They continued to stalk forward threateningly, and I began to back away from them. But my backward trek was difficult, so I turned around and began to run. Well, as much as I could run through the knee-high snow. And of course, my intrinsic clumsiness chose that moment to make an inopportune reappearance; without any help from Emmett or Jasper—and with nary a ski in sight—I somehow managed to once again wind up face-planted in the snow. I raised my hands to protect my head from the onslaught that I knew was coming.

When the barrage of snow came to a halt, I rolled over with a wary look. Emmett and Jasper were laughing and giving each other high-fives as they walked away from me. My eyes narrowed, and ire began to unexpectedly rise. Reaching out, I grabbed a large handful of snow before I rose awkwardly to my feet. My anger drove me forward quickly in the snow; I plunged ahead, ramming Jasper—who was closest—from behind. He toppled over, caught unawares by my unexpected attack, and I landed on top of him. I took advantage of his momentary surprise and mashed the handful of snow against his exposed neck.

"Yes!" I shouted in triumph, raising my hands above my head as I straddled Jasper in the snow. "Take that, asshole!"

I was laughing maniacally, both Rose and Emmett's chuckles joining mine.

"That'll teach you guys to pick on me!"

Of course, my gloating was premature, for at that exact moment, Jasper pushed himself up, easily displacing me from his back. With one quick move, he reversed our positions and tossed me onto _my_ back in the snow. There was a dangerous look in his eyes as he settled onto my legs in order to keep me from escaping. He hollered at Emmett.

"C'mon, Em… Let's show her who's the boss."

Emmett laughed again. "Looks like you got it handled, Jas. Besides, I don't want to get on her bad side; I've gotta work with her for the rest of the week while you get to stay up here and pussyfoot around in the mountains."

Jasper was looking at Emmett, and I took the opportunity to push another handful of snow into his face. He sputtered in surprise and annoyance. Emmett whooped it up.

"Then again, maybe you don't got it handled," he told Jasper with a snort. He turned and threw his arm over Rose's shoulder and led her towards the cabin. "Have fun with the little hell-cat, Jas. Just don't let Alice catch you…"

Emmett and Rose had reached the deck, and he collapsed onto one of the loungers, pulling Rose onto his lap. They began to kiss passionately. This effectively left me alone with Jasper, who was now looking at me speculatively. I shook my head.

"Jasper… Please, no!" I begged.

It was too late, or maybe I had provoked him too much. A flurry of snow engulfed me. I threw my hands up to protect my face, but he somehow managed to find his target. After a moment, I dropped my hands, realizing that I couldn't stop him, hoping to catch him by surprise with my own handful of snow, which I tossed in the general direction of his face. I was screaming in annoyance, yet laughing joyfully at the same time. But our play in the snow was brought to an abrupt halt by the most awful screeching sound that I had ever heard.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Alice had returned, and the look on her face was one of absolute fucking fury. Edward stood behind her, his face pinched in a frown. Jasper immediately dropped the handful of snow that was poised above my head—it landed on my face with an unceremonious _plop_—and scrambled off me awkwardly. He directed a pained look in my direction as he rose to his feet.

"Just a little snowball fight," he answered. "Nothing to worry about."

However, _he_ looked worried as Alice stomped across the yard and grabbed him by the arm. She shot me a look of pure hatred as she turned and frog-marched Jasper towards the cabin. Her angry words carried easily in the crisp mountain air.

"If it was just a 'little snowball fight that I don't need to worry about,' then why the hell were you sitting on her lap? Care to explain that?"

"She started it," he whined. "She knocked _me_ down."

My jaw dropped at the betrayal. Edward walked over to where I was still sprawled in the snow and looked at me with raised eyebrows. I just closed my mouth and shook my head. He offered his hand to help me to my feet.

I sighed in resignation. "Somehow I don't think _that_ is going to help the Alice situation."

"Probably not," he agreed.

We walked to the deck where we found Rose and Emmett, who were no longer making out. Emmett was standing with a sheepish look on his face. I patted him condescendingly on the arm.

"Thanks for the help, Em," I said, sarcastically.

He had the smarts to look chagrined.

"At least this is our last night here, Bells," he commiserated.

"Yeah… let's just hope we all survive it," I said with a pointed look. "At this point, I don't think there are any guarantees."

~/~

After cleaning up, I wandered towards the kitchen to work on getting dinner started. We were going the easy route tonight: the frozen lasagna. I figured there was no way I could mess _that_ up, so hopefully I would avoid any further wrath from Alice this evening. I pulled the package from the freezer, once again surprised by its weight. Six pounds seemed like a hell of a lot of food, but I knew with three hungry guys, it wouldn't last long. Once the oven was preheated, I slid the tray of pasta in to cook. It would take several hours to bake, so I grabbed a beer and headed into the den, where I had seen Rose and Em earlier.

Everyone had congregated in the den, mellowed by the time in the fresh air and the alcoholic beverages we were all now sipping. Well, everyone was mellow except for Alice, whose eyes were still shooting daggers in my direction. I decided that I didn't really give a flying fuck about any of her shit anymore. She knew that I was with Edward, and that Jasper and I had been friends long before he started dating her. I was just really fucking glad that he had never officially asked me out.

The guys were laughing at some movie that they had found on the television. I settled next to Edward, snuggling into his side when his arm slipped around my shoulders. But after an hour or so, I began to get tired of the male-directed humor in the raunchy movie. Empty beer bottle in hand, I wandered to the kitchen. Rose followed me. I checked on the lasagna and found that it was just about done, so Rose and I worked together to prepare the rest of the meal; she tossed the salad while I prepared the garlic bread. After buttering the bread, I popped it into the oven to warm next to the pasta.

A few minutes later—I assumed the movie was now over—the rest of the crew shuffled into the kitchen. Everything was pretty much ready, so Edward grabbed the lasagna from the oven and placed it on the hot plates I had set on the table. Rose carried the salad and Emmett grabbed the bread that I had just placed in a basket. We all sat down to eat.

Following dinner, the guys cleaned while we girls wandered into the living room, fresh beers in hand. It hadn't escaped my knowledge that Alice contributed nothing to either the preparation of or the clean up after dinner, but I said nothing, not wanting to rock the boat any further today. An awkward silence descended as the three of us settled in the den; Rose and I collapsed on the couch, while Alice chose to sit in one of the overstuffed side chairs. The guys finally emerged from the kitchen, flopping down near their respective partners. Edward settled himself on the floor at my feet. His head dropped back against my leg with a contented sigh as my fingers ran soothingly through his hair.

Emmett finally broke the silence by speaking

"So… since this is our last night here, what are we gonna do?"

"We need to do something fun," Rose replied.

Jasper's eyes lit up. "Drinking games, anyone?"

There were several appreciative grunts, and everyone else nodded their heads in agreement. In contrast, I groaned. Five pairs of eyes turned to look at me.

"Ah, c'mon Bella…" Jasper cajoled. "What's so bad about drinking games?"

Nothing good ever came of drinking games, but I didn't want to be the wet blanket of the bunch, so I threw my hands up in surrender. "Whatever you guys want."

I heard Emmett's whispered "yes," and I rolled my eyes at his not-so-subtle fist bump with Jasper. I sighed.

"But what game to play?" Emmett mused.

"How about truth or dare?"

It was the first time Alice had spoken since dinner. I didn't like the idea of playing this game, especially with her—the evil glint in her eyes only reinforced the feeling that it would not be a good move for me. But I didn't want to be the one to shoot her idea down. So I nudged Edward gently, and when he turned to look at me, I shook my head slightly. He caught my subtle message.

"No, not that one," he said.

"I know," Rose exclaimed. "Let's play 'I have never'!"

She started bouncing in her seat, and I had to smile at her enthusiasm. Then again, I shouldn't have been surprised; 'I have never' was one of Rose's favorite drinking games.

"Ooh! Yeah, that's a fun one," Alice agreed.

"But we have to make it a bit more interesting," Emmett added. "A bit more sexual..."

He waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and we all burst out laughing.

"Bella?" Jasper turned to me with a questioning glance.

I nodded my assent and shrugged my shoulders. "Cool with me."

After everyone agreed, we gathered some supplies. Armed with pieces of paper and pens, we each wrote down five sexual or sensual things we had done, five that we hadn't but wouldn't mind trying, and five things we would never do. We placed the pieces of paper in a basket on the coffee table, and each of us grabbed another beer before settling around the table.

Emmett took control.

"Okay… the game is 'I have never'. The rules are simple: pull a piece of paper from the basket. If you have never participated in the activity described—on either the giving or receiving end—read it out loud. Anyone who has participated in said activity takes a drink. If you have participated in the activity written on the paper, put it back in the basket and draw again. Once a question has been asked, everyone must be honest and drink if necessary. Any questions?"

We all shook our heads in the negative.

He nodded. "Okay… I'll go first."

He eagerly reached into the basked and pulled out a piece of paper. After reading, he tossed it back in and reached for another. We all laughed. Our laughter increased as he pulled piece after piece looking for a sexual act in which he had not participated. Rosalie was staring at him with a look that was half exasperation and half resignation. Finally, he pulled one that he did not have to throw back.

"Ah ha!"

We all laughed again. Emmett cleared his throat.

"I have never…" he paused for effect, "given or received manual pleasure while riding on a rollercoaster."

It was so outrageous that we all laughed uproariously. Well, all of us except for Rose, who blushed furiously. She glared at Emmett.

"You rat! I can't believe you wrote that down!" she fumed. We all looked at her in shock as she lifted her beer and took a big swig.

"Sorry, babe…" He grinned widely at her. "I was having a hard time coming up with things that I hadn't done."

We all laughed some more at his obviously not-sorry expression.

"My turn," Rose declared, reaching for the basket. Her eyes pinched in a confused frown as she read from the paper. "I have never... um... felching?"

Emmett choked, and his eyes almost bulged out of his head. Rose turned to him with a confused expression.

"What the fuck is felching?" she asked.

"Trust me, you don't wanna know," Emmett told her in a serious tone. He scowled. "Who the fuck wrote that shit down? It better have been a literal 'I have never'… but if it wasn't, please break the rules and don't take a drink, because I really don't want to know."

No one answered or took a drink, but I noticed that Jasper was studiously avoiding making eye contact with anyone and that the tips of his ears were red.

"Moving on…" Emmett prompted.

Alice reached for the basket.

"I have never… watched porn."

All the guys plus Rose immediately raised their bottles and took a swig.

Alice giggled as she handed the basket to Jasper. He had to try three times before he got one he could read.

"I have never… received—or, for the girls, given—a blow job in the bathroom at a club or bar."

Emmett and Rose drank. I snorted, and Rose shrugged. We all laughed.

Jasper passed the basket to Edward, who also had to pull twice. His eyes pinched briefly and he glanced in my direction before he read from the paper.

"I have never… gotten myself off in the car while I was driving."

_Shit._

That was one of mine, and Edward had obviously recognized my writing. I looked around surreptitiously to see if anyone else would drink. Of course not; I'm not that lucky. My cheeks flushed hotly as I meekly raised my bottle and sucked down a quick draught. Edward stared at me in surprise. So did everyone else.

"What?" I asked.

"Really? In the car, while you were driving?" he asked. "Were you alone?"

I nodded. At Edward's continued searching look, I sighed and mumbled, "It's a long drive from Forks to Seattle. I needed to do… _something_… to stay awake."

Everyone laughed, and from the corner of my eye, I saw that Edward was still gaping at me. Then he shifted just a bit, obviously uncomfortable—as in, his pants were now a bit tight—and I smirked. I stuck my hand in the basket. The first one I pulled was one of my own, and I had done it.

_Make out naked in the rain._

I reached for another. It, too, was one that I had written, but at least this was an activity in which I had never participated. I read it aloud.

"I have never… had anal sex."

Emmett and Rose immediately drank again. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and raised my eyebrows in question at her.

Rose shrugged and said simply, "Don't knock it until you try it."

Meanwhile, Emmett was eyeing Jasper. "Dude, you look conflicted. Do you need to drink?"

Jasper shrugged noncommittally. "I don't know…"

Emmett's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, you don't know? Either you do or you don't. Which is it?"

"It was by accident," he stated, although it sounded more like a question.

"Full penetration?" Emmett asked.

Jasper cringed, but answered, "Pretty much."

"Drink," Emmett commanded.

Jasper raised his bottle. So did Alice, whose face now looked like a tomato. We all gaped, then burst out laughing at the uncomfortable and disgusted look on Alice's face. Emmett turned to me and Edward.

"No?"

"Nope," I assured him. "Exit only for me."

Edward agreed, and Emmett nodded. Then he snagged the basket from my hands and made a production of finding another piece of paper that contained an untried sexual act. Again, it took him a while.

"I have never said the wrong name while having sex."

"Yeah… that's only because you probably addressed them all as 'babe'. No names necessary that way."

This from Rose, who took a drink afterwards. Emmett snorted, then flushed slightly. Guiltily.

"Well, I will admit that I never got names to begin with on several occasions."

Rose just smacked him and shook her head. Then she grabbed the basket. This time it took her three pulls before she got one she could read. A triumphant smile graced her lips as she waved the paper in the air with a flourish.

"I have never… gotten busted by the cops while having sex in a car."

She turned to Emmett, who tipped his bottle. We all stared. He shrugged, then plucked the basket from Rose's fingers and passed it to Alice.

"I have never… done it on the hood of a car."

Emmett and Rose drank.

Jasper grabbed the basket. Two pulls later:

"I have never… texted or e-mailed photos of my… privates… to someone else."

Emmett and Rose drank.

It was Edward's turn.

"I have never… received—or, for the ladies, given—a hand job under the table at a restaurant."

Emmett and Rose drank.

I pulled from the basket.

"I have never… made a sex tape."

Emmett and Rose drank.

I was beginning to see a pattern here. So, obviously, was everyone else, because we all started laughing uproariously when Emmett looked at his empty beer bottle in confusion. He went to the kitchen to retrieve another drink. When he came back, he was holding four bottles. He passed two to Rose.

"So I don't have to get up again for a while," he offered with a shrug.

He reached for the basket, obviously eager to resume the game, which even I had to admit was becoming pretty fucking funny. His nose wrinkled in disgust when he read what was written.

"I think it's pretty fucking safe to say that I have never given or received a golden shower."

Thankfully no one drank, although we all eyed one another suspiciously.

The game continued for quite a while, and the more we drank, the funnier it got. Amongst other things, we learned that Emmett and Jasper had sex in their bunks at college while their roommates were in the room, Rose and Emmett had fucked against the wall of an alleyway, Jasper and Alice had sex in a hot tub, Edward had done it on a pool table—Alice begged him to tell her that it wasn't on the pool table in their parent's basement; Edward remained mum—and all of us except Alice had partaken in manual stimulation when there was a parent present in the room. Surprisingly, none of us had participated in a threesome. I only say surprisingly, because by this point, we were expecting Emmett to admit to pretty much anything and everything.

There were two instances, though, that had caused a commotion.

The first was when I read, "I have never… had sex at the place where I work."

As expected by this point, Emmett drank. I sighed in relief when Rose didn't join him.

"Thank God you didn't drink on that one," I told her. "I don't know if I would look at the coffee shop the same way again, if I knew that you two had defiled it."

Her eyebrows rose. "Bella, I didn't drink because you said 'the place where _I _work'. I don't work at the coffee shop…"

Now in a panic, I demanded, "Please, just tell me, is there any surface that you two have not christened there?"

Rose's lips quirked into a seductive smile, and she made the buttoning motion against her lips with her fingers. "My lips are sealed."

I looked at her in horror and groaned. Jasper looked really uncomfortable as well. Everyone else laughed.

The final instance, which was the prelude to complete fucking mayhem, occurred was when Jasper read, "I have never fucked on the fifty-yard line."

Emmett proudly drank. Everyone else laughed as expected, but my heart sank. _Fuck me._ Why did Emmett have to champion that particular sexual exploit? I raised my bottle to my lips, and as I took an embarrassed sip, silence descended. Five pairs of eyes burned into me.

"Oh. My. God!" Rose was quite drunk—and in return, quite loud—by this point. "You never told me this before. The fifty-fucking-yard line? I want details. Now."

I didn't really want to go there, but everyone was staring at me expectantly. I sighed in resignation and shrugged my shoulders uncomfortably. I had a feeling that my next statement would open a can of worms best remained closed; I knew we were heading in a dangerous direction.

"What can I say… I dated a football player in high school. I think every one of them must have had a 'Johnny Be Good' fantasy," I shrugged, referencing that late-80s movie with Anthony Michael Hall as a football player who was being recruited dirtily—in every sense of the word—by a ton of colleges.

Alice's glazed-over eyes narrowed dangerously. And then she stepped into the dangerous territory that I had wanted to avoid.

"Got around a bit in high school, huh, Bella?" she slurred.

I cringed. No. I hadn't really gotten around; I had only slept with one person in high school, although we did have sex in a lot of places that we probably shouldn't have. The fifty-yard line of the Forks High School football field obviously being inappropriate location numero uno. But I didn't really want to start a fight with Alice. Not here in front of everyone, and especially not in front of Edward. Besides, that was all in the past, and I was a different person now. A much different person. I decided to let her comment slide.

However, Alice wasn't through picking a fight. Years of pent up frustration with me had obviously been building, and the fact that she had found her boyfriend straddling me in the snow this afternoon had likely pushed her over the edge. When it was her turn again, she obviously ad-libbed; she didn't even pretend to read from the piece of paper she drew from the basket.

"I have never… been in a relationship that I tried to hide."

My head snapped up in response to Alice's accusatory tone. She glared at me triumphantly. Edward, on the other hand, looked appalled by the turn of events.

"Alice…" he growled.

She crossed her arms petulantly as she scowled at him. "Sorry, Edward. Rules are rules. Emmett clearly told us earlier that once the question had been posed, we all had to answer honestly." She turned to look at the rest of us, but her eyes focused on me. "The question is out there. Now… who needs to drink?"

Sensing that something was not right, Emmett reached over and plucked the paper from Alice's fingers. He scanned it quickly.

"That wasn't your question, Alice. I think that we should just move on…"

Alice and I spoke simultaneously.

"No!"

"It's okay, Em…"

She was right. I had been ashamed of my relationship with Edward—scared of what my so-called friends would think or say. And my insecurities had affected more than just me. They had affected Edward and obviously Alice, as well. It was time to take responsibility.

Alice looked at me with raised eyebrows. Edward's hand came to rest on my thigh, and he rubbed soothing circles on my leg. Staring Alice in the eye, I raised my bottle and took a sip. When I was through with my demonstration, I turned to Emmett.

"You're probably the only one here who doesn't know the whole sordid tale of my past with Edward…" I looked to Jasper, who inclined his head to indicate that Alice had indeed told him, and to Rose, who nodded in a way that indicated that she had not told Emmett. "But we had a… well… a sort of… _thing_… in high school. Something that—as Alice just indicated—I was afraid to reveal to others."

Emmett frowned, all the alcohol that he had ingested over the course of the evening slowing his thought process down.

"What happened?"

"He was my math tutor. Long story short… let's just say that I was a superficial bitch back in the day and Edward wasn't quite as handsome as he is now."

I turned to give Edward a loving smile, my hand landing on top of his and squeezing gently. He laughed nervously.

"What Isabella is trying to say—very diplomatically, I might add—is that in high school, I was a geek."

My eyes pinched, and my hand squeezed tighter. "You weren't that bad…"

Alice snorted derisively.

"Oh, c'mon, Bella. You dissed Edward at every opportunity," she snarled.

My hackles were beginning to raise, and I knew that Edward could sense my irritation because he squeezed my hand. Rose was also looking at Alice in irritation; she was, after all, my best friend, and we always had each other's backs. I decided that I needed to take control of this situation before is spiraled any further out of control.

"We've already had this discussion, Alice," I snapped. "I made a lot of bad decisions back in high school, and I have lived with the regret of my poor choices for quite some time. I'm different now. Edward's different now. Hell… even _you_ are different now. It's time for us all to move on. Let it go, already. Edward obviously has. If he can forgive me for what I did to him back then, can't you?"

Alice's eyes had narrowed, and they were spitting fire at me.

"Alice…" Edward warned in a quietly desperate whisper, but it was too late. As we all watched in morbid fascination, Alice blew up.

"Move on? Let it go?" she screeched at the top of her lungs. "I don't think so, Bella. You were the bane of my existence in high school—the girl who callously trampled on my brother's heart and made a fool of me. I will never forget that. You may have apologized about your behavior towards Edward, but what about me? You ruined my life! Where's my apology?"

"What about you, what? What the fuck are you talking about? I barely spoke to you in high school, Alice. How could I ruin your life?" " I demanded hotly.

Out of the corners of my eyes, I saw Emmett and Rosalie's heads snapping side-to-side as they followed our discourse. Edward and Jasper were looking at Alice, and both appeared chagrined by her outburst. I hated that this conversation was happening in a room full of people, but it was about fucking time that we got to the bottom of this fucked-up mess.

Alice's fiery rage dissipated far more quickly than it had arisen. She seemed to deflate with the passing of her self-righteous anger. Her eyes filled with agony. And questions. Her voice was quiet when she finally spoke again, when she finally voiced the question that must have been festering for years.

"How could you treat me like that, Bella? I thought we were friends…"

I sighed. "Alice, I don't mean this the ways it's gonna sound, but we were never friends. We never would have even interacted if Edward hadn't been my tutor."

"I know." She ducked her head and sighed piteously. "You would never have been friends with someone like me back then."

"No," I stated simply. There was no reason to beat around the bush anymore. That had only brought us pain. "I wouldn't have been."

Even though she was looking at her lap, I saw her face fall. She looked back up at me, face full of questions. "But you were so nice to me when you came to our house…"

We were finally getting to the heart of the matter, and I cringed a bit. I _had_ been nice to her. When I had spent time at the Cullen's house that summer, it was like I was in a different world—an insulated world where all the pettiness disappeared. I could be _me_. Isabella. Not Bella, who put on a show everyday at school. I had been pleasant to Alice when I saw her, although that hadn't been often since Edward and I usually disappeared to his room to make out. But I guess it had been often enough to give her… _ideas_. Yet I feared that this alone could not explain Alice's continued hatred for me. I looked at her expectantly.

"And…" I prodded.

Her eyes dropped back to the table and she began fiddling with the pieces of 'I have never' paper that were scattered across its surface. She shredded several before she finally spoke.

"I might have mentioned to a few people that you were hanging out with my brother, and that you and I had become friends…" Her voice trailed off and she looked up at me. She sighed in resignation before lifting her chin slightly. "You were my 'in'. Because I knew you, Bella Swan—captain of the cheerleaders, the most popular girl in school—my friends looked up to me. But that day at the movies, when you cut me down viciously, you completely humiliated me."

I frowned. "Alice… the only person who witnessed that was Jessica. And believe me, she had forgotten it by the end of the movie."

She sighed again, and her gaze fell back to her hands, which were now squeezing her beer bottle as if her life depended on it.

"Jessica wasn't the only witness…"

My heart dropped at her words. Here it was: the truth. I could feel it. She sighed again before continuing.

"Tanya, Kate and Irina were there that day, too…"

Those three had been the junior equivalents to me, Jess and Lauren: pretty, popular, and complete bitches. It didn't make sense that Alice would have been there with them. I voiced my question.

"You were there with them?" I asked.

"Not really…" she sighed. "But I _was_ there _because_ of them. They were everything I wanted to be, just like you, so I hung out at the places they did. I approached them for the first time that day, but they were quite mean. And then I saw you… I knew that they wanted to be cheerleaders—we had tried out together—and I decided to try to impress them.

"When I told them that I was going to say 'hi' to you, they scoffed. They didn't believe that you and I were friends. And I knew deep down that we weren't. I was just hoping that you would talk to me for a minute so that it would _look_ like we were friends. That would've been enough for them. But of course, _that_ didn't happen."

No, it hadn't. I cringed slightly, thinking back to that day and the devastated look on her face when I had cut her down.

"When I ran out in tears, they fucking laughed at me. 'Why would you think that Bella Swan would talk to you, you fat cow!' they yelled. That was the beginning of the 'Fat Alice' phase."

I cringed again at _that_ reminder. It was something I had completely forgotten. I didn't really know what to say to that, so I said nothing. Besides, Alice seemed to be on a roll, finally getting all this shit—which had obviously been festering for years—off her chest.

But Jasper interrupted. "Wait… Why did they call you 'Fat Alice'? You're so tiny."

"I am now, but back then… I told you before that I had weight issues when I was younger."

"Yeah, but I guess I just thought that you were being girly—oversensitive about a few extra pounds…"

Alice sighed again. "Unfortunately, no. I was pretty big, which, in high school, is a serious popularity impediment. And their teasing only made me more of an outcast. By the time school started, every popular student referred to me by that detested nickname."

I frowned at her assertion. "I didn't," I interjected quietly. "I never called you that, to your face or otherwise."

"No, you didn't," she conceded. "But you didn't stop your friends from doing so, and I heard you laugh on more than one occasion when one of them addressed me. That made me hate you even more.

"Anyways… By Christmas, I had a major complex. I started dieting and working out, and by the end of the next semester, I had lost a little weight. But they all still made fun of me. So, over the summer between my junior and senior year, I found diet pills. I lost thirty pounds in two months."

Edward looked appalled. "That's how you lost all that weight? You told us you were working out…"

"I was, and I had been for months, it just didn't give me the results I wanted. But the pills…" she shrugged. "Anyways, I was finally happy with the way I looked, and I was sure that it would make everything better at school, but it didn't. By that point in time, I had been 'Fat Alice, social outcast' for so long that my changed appearance changed nothing in the way that I was treated. The girls just found another way to pick on me, another nasty nickname to use. Needing the comfort of food, but wanting desperately to stay skinny, I turned to binging and purging…"

By this point in time, we were all staring at Alice in horror. Edward had obviously had no clue about Alice's problems. He shook his head side to side.

"I should have known," he berated himself.

She turned to him with an imploring look. "Nobody knew, Edward. I hid it. You were gone to college by that point, and I never did it at home. And I didn't do it that often, either. Just when things were… bad."

She sighed again, and when no one made any effort to question her, she continued. "I managed to get through senior year with minimum fuss. I kept to myself and did my best to stay under the radar. Then I got the hell out of Forks as quickly as possible. And as far away as possible—I only applied to colleges on the east coast because I wanted a new start.

"When I got to New York, I did start new. No one knew me there, and no one had any clue that I had once been 'Fat Alice'. I made new friends, went out on dates regularly—I was free to be _me_, and for the first time in a long time, I was happy.

"Then dad had his accident… I hate to admit it, but I was really angry. I didn't want to come back home. I wanted to stay in New York, where I was comfortable. But family is important, so I came back. I still hated Forks, and all that it represented, but Seattle wasn't too bad—it was far enough away to still feel new."

I could sympathize. Her descriptions precisely mirrored my own, only for different reasons.

"Everything was good for a while… Edward and I got a cool apartment and I made new friends."

She paused and turned to look at me. "But then I came home early after New Years and found _you_ in bed with my brother… Bella Swan, the person I had always blamed for ruining my life. I saw you, and I was immediately transported back to that dark time in high school. It's completely irrational, I know, but even now, seeing you brings all of that negativity back to the surface and makes me forget how much I've changed. Suddenly, I'm that fat sixteen year old all over again, and I hate how that makes me feel."

"Wait a minute…" Rosalie interjected. "I understand why you feel that way, Alice. I really do—we all have _that_ person from high school—and I think we can all agree that you experienced some pretty fucking terrible things. But not all those things are Bella's fault. You have to know that."

"I said that it was irrational, didn't I?" Alice said defensively. "But I can't help how I feel… I see her, and all I can remember is that afternoon at the movies. All she had to do was speak to me for a minute, and my whole life could have been different… I might not have become popular, but I would have been happier, I'm sure."

I shook my head in disbelief.

"Oh, Alice…" I lamented. "High school is a really shitty time for everybody. I cringe when I think back on those days, too. Do you think just because I was 'popular' that I was happy back then? Hell, no! I might have managed to convince myself for a short time that I was, but looking back… Well, shit…

"I had a non-existent relationship with my parents, who really didn't seem to give a damn about what I did, a boyfriend who paid more attention and more respect to a fucking football than he did to me, and completely fucking superficial friends who were only friends with me because of my social status and what I could do for them. When I did finally meet someone who looked at me and saw _me_—not the act that I put on everyday—I rejected him because of the way that he looked, which made me even worse than my so-called friends. And then, to make matters worse, I had to watch him be happy with someone else each and every day.

"You weren't the only one negatively affected, Alice. I've already told you once, but I guess I need to remind you again… the decisions I made in high school have haunted me for the last four years. Losing Edward—even though he was never really mine to begin with—really fucked with my self-esteem. Do you think that I wasn't changed by that experience? Did you really believe that I was as cool, collected and unaffected as I pretended to be? You weren't the only one who wanted to get the fuck out of Forks as quickly as possible; if you recall, I left a week after graduation.

"It's funny… You and I are far more alike than either of us ever realized. The reasons for my departure may not have been the same as yours, but the emotions and feelings behind the decision sure as hell were." I laughed derisively. "I was fucking miserable, too, Alice. Anyone who tells you that they had a great high school experience is lying. High school sucks."

From the corner of my eyes, I saw several heads bob in agreement. Rose sighed and dropped her head. When she spoke, her words were barely audible.

"I caught my high school boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. I learned later that it had been going on for months, _and_ that pretty much the entire school knew. I felt like such a fool…"

I smiled sadly at Rose; I knew that feeling very well. Both Emmett and Alice reached out to touch her arm. A thought ran through my head, almost like an epiphany. I was speaking before I could stop myself.

"So, I think we can all agree that life sucks sometimes. What we tend to forget is that we are not as alone as we think we are. How about we change the game up a bit, to reflect the bad things that have happened to us or mistakes we have made."

I looked up and everyone nodded soberly.

Since this was now my game I started. "I have been cheated on."

I took a drink, along with Rose, Emmett and Jasper.

I turned to Emmett, who stated, "I have had people assume that I am dumb based solely on my physical appearance."

Rose, Jasper and I joined Emmett in taking a drink.

Rose ducked her head, and spoke quietly. "I have refrained from telling someone 'I love you' because I was afraid that they really didn't love me back."

Everyone except Emmett drank. When five pairs of eyes landed on him, he shrugged.

"I've never had a problem saying the words, although I'll admit that I didn't mean it in the true sense most of the time. But that changed the day I met Rosie…"

Rose smiled widely and swiped at the tears that had pooled in her eyes, before leaning towards Emmett and kissing him passionately. "I love you," she whispered, loud enough for all of us to hear. When she sat back up, she looked at Alice expectantly.

Alice's statement was no big surprise. "I have been made fun of because of the way I looked."

What was surprising was that every one of us took a drink.

Jasper's face flushed before he quietly admitted, "I have been accused of being gay."

Everyone turned to look at him in surprise. He shrugged in a self-deprecating manner. "I was, well… a bit… 'pretty'—in a less than manly way—when I was younger."

Edward's statement was no surprise to me. "I have been rejected because of the way I looked."

Edward, Alice and Jasper drank. While I didn't take a drink—my physical appearance had never been my problem in any sort of dating scenario—I did feel guilty that I had been the one to reject Edward. I turned to him and smiled sadly in remorse. He reached for my hand.

"I'm sorry," I told him.

"I know," he replied, squeezing my fingers.

I took a deep breath and turned to look across the table. "Alice," I called. When she looked up, I spoke directly to her.

"I was a pretentious bitch in high school. I did many things that I wasn't proud of, and made a shitload of mistakes that I wish I could take back. One of those is how I treated you. I'm very sorry that my actions hurt you."

She smiled sadly and ducked her head in acknowledgment. It wasn't forgiveness yet, I knew, but I hoped that it was a start. I was therefore surprised when, after a moment, she spoke.

"I'm sorry too, Bella. I'm sorry that I judged you now based on who I remembered you to be. I can tell that you are different now, and I know how happy you make Edward…"

It wasn't complete acceptance, but once again, it was a start.

"Thank you," I told her fervently.

We continued around the table for quite some time. We forgot about drinking after a while and just shared our heartbreak, and occasionally, a redemption story. By the end of the evening, I think we all realized that life often sucked and for no inexplicable reason would toss lemons our way rather than cotton candy. But I think we also realized that it is what you do with those lemons—how you respond to negative situations—that molds you into the person you were supposed to be.

In that moment, I decided that I wouldn't gripe about the bitterness of those life-lemons anymore. I would instead do my best to make lemonade.

**~ Wednesday ~**

I awoke wrapped in Edward's arms; his warmth—and love—surrounded me. I could tell that he was awake. Smiling, I wiggled slightly against his arousal. He groaned slightly and rolled me over. For the first time in three days, I did not stop him when he kissed me. Instead, I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer. He groaned louder when I shifted my hips to meet his. And when I pushed my hand between our bodies—into his boxers—and stroked his straining flesh, his breath hissed through his teeth.

"Isabella…" he warned.

I chuckled. "The sexual embargo's over…"

He pulled back to look at me. "Really?" he asked with a hesitant smile.

"Hell, yeah… I won't let Alice come between us anymore. Besides, I think we made some progress on that front last night."

"I'm glad that you both finally talked about it, but…" His voice trailed off.

"But, what?"

He sighed and paused, as if trying to decide how to phrase the question. With a small huff, he finally blurted, "Are girls really affected that much for that long by such meaningless stuff?"

"'Fraid so," I replied. "I still harbor really bad feelings for most things high school, so I know how she feels." I leaned back to look him in the eye. I fixed him with a stern look. "And just so you know, all those things are _not_ pointless to us."

He sighed. "But that was so long ago…"

"I know. And I know that it does me no good to think about that stuff, but I do. More often than I should, I'm afraid."

"Well… we'll just have to make sure that you don't think about any of that today," Edward asserted.

I smiled. "Really?"

"Yup."

I wiggled my hips against his and bit my lip when his hard length settled between my thighs. "You got any suggestions about how you might… _distract_… me from those troublesome high school memories?"

He pursed his lips and squinted his eyes, as if thinking hard.

"I might be able to think of an idea or two."

He reached down to tug my t-shirt over my head, and then lowered his head in order to capture my lips with his own.

"Really?" I asked between kisses.

"Uh huh," he hummed.

He slid down my body, trailing kisses as he went, pausing at my breast in order to suck a nipple into his mouth. His hand slipped beneath the waistband of my pants to tease the tender flesh between my legs. I moaned lightly.

"Care to enlighten me?" I panted between moans.

"I think this is something that would be more effective with actions rather than words…"

Our hands worked furiously to free each other of our clothing; I made quick work of his t-shirt and boxers and he divested me of my pants and panties. In a swift move, Edward settled on top of me, his solid weight pushing me into the mattress. I sucked in a breath as his hot, hard shaft slid through the wetness that had pooled between my legs. Our eyes clashed, and when I tilted my hips to meet him, he pushed forward with one quick thrust. Due the intense emotions of the evening before, as well as several days of abstinence, I felt closer to Edward than ever before, and I gasped in pleasure at the joining of our bodies.

Edward reached for my hands; he entwined our fingers and raised them above my head. With a tender kiss, and while squeezing my fingers gently, he began moving. I wrapped my legs tightly around his waist and moved my hips in opposition to his, and it didn't take long for the tell-tale tingles to erupt in my stomach. I clasped his hands tightly as my body strained desperately against his, begging for release. Never breaking eye contact, we moved in synchronization until we both tumbled over the edge. After a moment, Edward collapsed, spent, on top of me, his head buried in my neck. I raised one hand to cup the back of his head tenderly, lovingly. After a few moments, he tilted his head so that his lips brushed my ear.

"I love you, Isabella."

I dropped my hands to his back and squeezed him tightly. "I love you too, Edward. So much…"

I smiled as I uttered the last words—words that I used only with him. My smile expanded when he reciprocated with the response upon which I now relied.

"Always."

~/~

We left the cabin shortly after noon. It was a relatively quiet drive back to Seattle as I had a lot to think about. Emmett and Rose were quite hung over and didn't seem too interested in conversation. This was fine with me—I was content to close my eyes and simply hold Edward's hand. Surprisingly, the trip went quick, and before we knew it, we were dropping Emmett and Rose at his condo.

We all got out of the car. The guys unloaded Emmett and Rose's stuff, and I walked to her side to give her yet another hug.

"I feel like I've seen more of you in the past three days than I have in the past three months," I sighed. "Promise me that we'll talk again, soon?"

She nodded. "I think we need to implement a 'girl's night in' at least once per week. I always swore that I would never be one of _those girls_ who ditched their friends for their boyfriend, but I didn't realize that I had done just that until we started talking. I'm just sorry it took a fucked-up trip to the mountains to figure out how much I missed you."

I laughed. "It wasn't that bad…"

Rose pulled back and stared at me with an incredulous look.

"Okay… maybe it was, but it wasn't _all_ bad."

She smiled. "No, it wasn't. We got to play 'I have never'!"

We both sighed as we recalled all that we had learned the previous evening—both funny and not-so-funny. By this time, the guys had gotten the suitcases into Emmett's house. He was waiting on the front steps for Rose. With one final hug, I released her.

"See you tomorrow, Bells," Emmett hollered jovially as I turned to get into the car.

"Bright and fucking early," I grumbled.

When the door closed behind me, Edward turned in his seat to look at me.

"Where to now? Are you hungry, or do you want to just go home?"

I was going to Edward's tonight. It would be the first time since New Year's that I had been to his apartment.

"I'm hungry," I stated, surprised to realize that I really was quite hungry.

He nodded. "What do you want?"

"_Assaggio_?" I asked, naming our favorite Italian place.

"Sounds good," he agreed.

"But let's get it to go," I quickly amended.

Edward looked at me questioningly.

"I think I'd like to eat in _your_ bed this time."

He smiled in sudden understanding. "I think I'd like that, too…"

We had yet to christen his apartment. That was about to change.

"Can I get some tiramisu?" I asked innocently.

Edward smirked knowingly.

"Of course... But I don't that think one piece will be nearly enough for what I have in mind."

~/~

**

* * *

**

A/N:

Any funny/unusual/racy sexual acts you wish to admit to? I only used a fraction of the kinky responses I received… LOL. In all honesty, all of Bella's entries were mine. Try to guess which one I have never done.

Confession time: Did any of you have _that_ person from high school, that one someone that you hated obsessively? I did. She never did anything to me, per se, but HS hate _is_ irrational. Even now, almost 20 years later, just hearing that bitch's name gets me all riled up.

So, it's all out in the open now... What do you guys think? Will they all be able to move on? Will Alice and Bella become friends, or is there too much history? With only one regular chapter left, what do you think will happen next with Edward and Bella?

In that regard, I have some news to tell you. This story is almost complete, and I do not have any intention to continue it in multi-chapter format beyond the epilog because I truly believe that the story will have been told at that point. However, I am not adverse to outtakes and/or future-takes. In fact, I already have two outtakes planned and partially written!

The first outtake will be Valentine's Day from Jasper's POV since a lot of you requested to see the Jasper-Alice confrontation; you wanted to know what he said to shut her up at dinner.

The second outtake actually stems from this chapter; I had to remove a large section due to space constraints. The information doesn't really fit in with the next chapter, and isn't absolutely necessary for the plot, but it's really funny so I want to include it somehow. It's BPOV when Edward and Bella go to Forks for Easter and officially "Meet the Parents."

OK… down to business: Please read to the end, because I am providing several options for outtake posting schedules, and I would like to know your opinion. Sorry in advance for the fuck-long note to follow, but it's for several good causes, so please bear with me.

The flood that hit Nashville on May 1-2 was massive; a flood of this magnitude has not been seen in Nashville in over 70 years. The downtown area between 1st and 5th Avenues was under water for several days. Several counties in Middle TN have been declared federal disaster areas, and the damage bill is racking up quickly (last week it was already estimated at over $1.2 Billion). While we were lucky, others were not so lucky; 21 lives were lost, and many have lost their homes and businesses. Most homes that were completely destroyed were not in FEMA designated flood zones, so the homeowners did not have flood insurance. There is no way to recover from a devastating loss like this without help.

I have signed up to participate in the Fics For Nashville fundraising effort. I will be offering a TaLT outtake. I will eventually post this outtake at FFn, but those that participate in the relief effort will get to see it first—the compilation will be released on June 5; I cannot post at FFn before July 21. Again, the format is similar to what was done for the Haiti relief. A $5 minimum donation to one of the suggested charities will earn you a compilation of short fics from multiple authors. I recommend (and personally donated to) The Community Foundation: Nashville. Information can be found at The TwilightAwards: http://www(dot)thetwilightawards(dot)com/2010/05/fics-for-nashville-how-you-can-help(dot)html#nashville

I'd also like to participate in the FGB auction this summer. I'm considering offering a TaLT out-take or future take. Again, if I put this up for auction, it will be a while before I can post at FFn. I'm not entirely sure how the whole FGB auction works, so if anyone would like to volunteer to spearhead a team to purchase an outtake or story, let me know, because I'd really like all of you to have access to it ASAP.

So, my question for you guys… Which outtake would you like to see in these charity efforts? I can put JPOV VDay in the F4N, then Meet the Parents in the FGB. In which case, VD would be posted on/after July 21 and MTP much later. Or, I can put MTP in the F4N and offer a TaLT future take or another story for FGB. In the latter case, the JPOV outtake would be posted at FFn prior to July 21 and MTP outtake on/after July 21. Let me know—send me a PM or respond in your review.

Thank you!

KL


	13. Can We Talk Now?

**A/N: **Well, guys… this is it… the final 'regular' chapter. I can't believe that this little trip is almost over. I never imagined when I wrote the original o/s that this story would become so important to me, or that it would be the first multi-chapter story that I completed. I am so thankful for all of you who pushed me to continue it. I am actually quite emotional right now; I keep vacillating between smiles and tears!

Special thanks to my betas moonlightdreamer33 and LaraIsAwkward who turned this sucker around in a few hours last night so that it could be updated today.

**Disclaimer 1:** Stephenie owns 'em, but I have allowed them to grow up a bit and learn from their mistakes.

**Disclaimer 2:** I'm not exactly sure how the medical school admission process works, but it would be my best guess that decisions would need to be made in February and March. So, please, for story continuity, just pretend that final decisions don't need to be made until May…

Without further ado…

* * *

**~ May ~**

Almost a month had passed since spring break. It was now the first Friday in May, and the semester was winding down. Both Edward and I had been incredibly busy over the past few weeks; I was working on a paper, and Edward was preparing for his finals. Our weekdays were filled with work and school, so our time together had been somewhat limited as of late. I lived for the weekends—the only time I was guaranteed to see him.

I had gotten home from class about an hour ago, and I was now sprawled on the couch waiting for Edward to come over. However, when he finally arrived, I could tell that he was stressed out. Not that _that_ was unusual these days… He tossed his keys on the table and stalked into the kitchen without even glancing in my direction. I sighed.

Rising from the couch, I followed Edward to the kitchen. By the time I got there, he had already downed half a beer. I sidled up behind him and slipped my arms around his waist. He grunted slightly when I squeezed gently, then raised the beer to his lips and finished it in one long gulp. After he placed the empty bottle on the counter, Edward turned and wrapped me in his arms.

His unyielding embrace felt almost desperate. And when his lips met mine, rough and demanding, I knew it would be a while before we made it out of the apartment. Edward yanked my body against his, lifting me up as he began walking out of the kitchen. I wrapped my legs around his waist so that he could carry me, presumably to my bedroom. But he was obviously too impatient—or too desperate—to make it that far; before I realized what had happened, my back was pressed into the cushions I had just vacated.

Edward's hands were impatient, frantic, tugging at my clothes with very little of his usual smoothness. His clothes joined mine on the floor as he ripped them from his body, and his body crashed to mine, his insistent arousal homing immediately to my slick heat. Edward groaned deep in his throat when I bucked my hips against him; his shaft slid easily through the wetness that had already pooled at the juncture of my thighs. With only a punishing kiss as a prelude, he pushed forward, sheathing himself within me in a single thrust. When his pelvis came to rest against my own, he groaned again.

Our coupling was almost primal, and to be honest, it scared me a little. While the sensations were pleasurable, I felt as if Edward was attempting to exorcise his demons by burying himself in my body. His lips ravaged my neck, my mouth… anything they could reach.

All I could do was hold on for the ride.

When his thrusting motions increased to an almost furious pace, I clenched my legs tightly around his waist and wrapped my arms around his chest, knowing that he needed me to hold him close.

"Isabella…" Edward groaned my name as his climax neared.

I squeezed him in return. His motions suddenly stilled.

"I'm gonna come," he gritted out. "Are you close?"

I wasn't, and by this point in time, I realized that it probably wouldn't happen for me. Not tonight, and definitely not like this. So I just grunted and squeezed my legs more tightly around his waist to improve the sensations for him. A few erratic thrusts accompanied by an almost tortured-sounding groan followed. Edward collapsed onto my chest.

We lay there for quite some time, his arms holding me tightly, his head buried in my neck. My hands gently stroked his arms and shoulders. Unfortunately, I could still feel the tension in his muscles, and I suspected that his sexual release had not been as distracting as he—or I—had hoped it would be. I needed to shift the mood and distract us both.

"Welcome home," I drawled, attempting to draw him out with humor.

He grunted in response, but left his head buried in my neck and his arms did not relinquish their death grip on me. After a few moments, I tried again.

"What do you want to do tonight?" I asked softly, raising my lips to his shoulder and nipping gently.

He just shrugged, and I began to get a bit annoyed. I pushed at his shoulders, encouraging him to sit up. When he didn't immediately comply, I cajoled him.

"C'mon, Edward…"

Finally, his arms loosened their hold and he reluctantly sat up, putting some space between us. But he was obviously still unsettled, and when his eyes met mine, they were wary.

"What do you want to do?" I asked again.

He shrugged again, and I sighed in annoyance.

"Dinner? Movie?" I asked hopefully.

When my question did not illicit a verbal response—only another fucking shrug—my irritation bloomed into full-blown exasperation. I pushed myself into a sitting position as well, and shoved my hands into my now-mussed hair.

"Well, we can't just sit here all night." My words were a bit short and were accompanied by a frustrated huff. "I'm hungry. Do you want to go somewhere, or just eat in tonight?"

"Shit, Bella," he snapped. "I really don't care. What do you want to do?"

I stiffened at his harsh tone as well as his non-use of my given name. He'd been like this—anxious, on edge, and snappy—for the past three weeks, ever since the week following spring break. I knew what it was all about, but he hadn't seemed to want to talk about it, so I had let it slide. But this had gone on long enough.

Needing some space—and some time to think—I rose to my feet and began gathering my clothing. Without saying a word, I padded to my bathroom and took a quick shower. When I came back out a few minutes later, Edward was dressed and seated on the couch, sipping on another beer. He glanced up at me guiltily when I walked back into the room.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

I didn't know for which part he was apologizing: the frantic sex or his shortness with me. I suspected the former. Either way, I could sense his remorse.

"I know," I replied as I sat down at his side.

I wanted to tell him that it was fine, but I couldn't. Things were obviously not fine. His demeanor of late had not been healthy. The weight of his upcoming decision was sitting heavily on his shoulders, and not talking about it was obviously not doing him any good. I decided to tackle the issue that we had been avoiding for the past several weeks head on.

"But this can't go on, Edward."

His head snapped in my direction. "What do you mean?"

I sighed. "You know what I mean… We've put it off long enough; it's time to talk about it."

He stiffened in response to my words.

"Talk about what?" he asked suspiciously.

"About what's been bothering you for the past month…"

He just stared. I rolled my eyes and sighed in resignation.

"Med School, Edward. It's time we talked about what you're going to do next year."

He jerked away as if I had physically slapped him, but I knew that he could not have been as surprised as he let on. Over the past month, Edward's med-school future had become the pink elephant in our lives. It was affecting everything. The desperate bed-session we had just shared was a prime example.

"Where do you think you want to go?" I asked, trying to initiate the conversation.

He remained stoically silent. I knew where he wanted to go.

Edward had gone to his medical school interview at UW on the Thursday and Friday of spring break, almost a month ago. He had loved the school and the professors with whom he had met, but because his application had been submitted late, he was on the wait list and there were no guarantees. I knew that he desperately hoped he would get into UW because I couldn't leave—I had two more years of graduate studies that I needed to complete here. Although we didn't talk about it, I knew that the chances of him getting in here were slim-to-none. I also knew that this fact was a source of constant stress for him, so I had tried to not say too much about it.

He already had offers from six other schools, so it's not like this was an all-or-none possibility. But with each day that had passed by without a word from the UW School of Medicine, Edward had become more and more irritable—almost angry—and our relationship was becoming strained. I didn't really know what to do about it, either. The decision had been looming for weeks, but he'd refused to talk about it, and anytime I attempted to bring up that particular topic of conversation, he quickly changed the subject.

Unfortunately, even though he obviously didn't want to admit it, time had run out. It was time for him to make a decision.

It was time to talk, whether he wanted to or not.

Feeling the need for a more formal setting for this conversation, I rose from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, knowing that he would eventually follow me. I was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of tea in front of me when Edward finally found me a few minutes later. He looked at me in confusion as he took a seat at the table; I had never purposely sat here before, but I figured that neutral territory was best for the uncomfortable conversation that I knew would follow.

After offering him a cup of tea—he declined—I took the bull by the horns and jumped right in.

"So, can we talk about it now?"

Edward sucked in a startled breath at the mention of his upcoming decision. Then he crossed his arms on his chest and adopted a petulant scowl.

"No, not yet…" he grumbled.

I sighed again. "Not talking about it isn't gonna make the problem miraculously disappear. The longer you put this off, the fewer choices you'll have. You're running out of time, Edward; you've already missed the acceptance deadline for the University of Chicago and Yale, and I've seen the letters from the other schools…"

I had found the stack of medical school letters on his dresser when I was at his apartment last weekend. While he had been in the shower, I had looked at them all. I had been shocked to see notices from several schools informing him that, due to his non-response, the offer had been retracted. He only had a week left to decide for two of the other schools—one of them being Harvard.

He glared at me accusingly, then shoved his chair back and rose jerkily to his feet. Funneling his hands into his hair, he tugged slightly, a gesture that signified he was highly agitated. Then he began pacing, all the while refusing to look at me. I sat silently, patiently, while he paced and muttered. He walked into the kitchen and poured a cup of tea—even though he had declined five minutes previously when I had offered—and then flopped back into his chair at the table.

His hands began tugging at his hair again, and he huffed in apparent frustration. "I didn't really want to go to Chicago or Yale, so that doesn't matter. I want to hear back from UW first…"

His voice was resolute. Usually, arguing with Edward was an exercise in futility, but this was his future, and unfortunately, I suddenly found myself feeling responsible for that future. Because he was basing his decision around me. I did not want to be liable for any bad decision that he might make concerning his future. So, I swallowed my desire to tell him to stay, even though I felt as if I would choke to death on the pain that the action invoked. Instead, I took a calming breath and looked into his eyes. My words were quiet, but just as resolute as his own had been.

"You can't keep holding out for UW, Edward. You know as well as I do that you can't count on that option."

He huffed again and speared me with a dark glare. He was practically shouting when he responded. "Then what the hell am I supposed to do? Since you seem to have all the answers, Bella, why don't you tell me? So, tell me… which school should I choose?"

Once again, his use of both the profanity and my shortened name alerted me to his distraught state. But I couldn't allow that to sway my resolve. Without breaking eye contact, I took another calming breath and spoke.

"Where did you want to go before you came to UW?"

His hands were permanently attached to his hair at this point. He tugged at the messy strands once more before his eyes slid away from mine.

"Harvard," he finally admitted.

"And did you get in there?" It was a rhetorical question; I already knew the answer.

His eyes snapped back to mine and darkened in anger. "You already know the answer to that, Bella…"

I said nothing, simply raised my eyebrows in question.

"Fine… Yes, I got in there," he snapped.

I looked at him intently. "Do you still want to go there?"

As he stared back, his anger faded and began to morph into something else. I could see the confliction in his eyes, the anal need to have both things that he desired. Me _and_ Harvard. He had admitted to me that he had spent four years thinking about me—just as I had thought about him—and now that we had finally overcome our past and gotten our second chance, neither of us wanted to rock the boat. But I knew that Harvard Medical School was a dream that he had harbored for just as long.

He didn't answer my question, but he didn't have to; I could see the desire for it burning brightly in his eyes.

I couldn't let him give up that dream.

"Then you should go," I said quietly.

He flinched at my words, almost as if I had physically slapped him, and pain flashed through his eyes.

"What about you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You won't be able to come with me…" His words were a statement, but his eyes still asked the question.

I shook my head sadly. "You know that I have two more years in order to finish here."

The anger was back. "So what are you telling me, Bella? To just go without you? To leave you?"

I shook my head in the negative, but I couldn't find the words quickly enough to explain adequately.

"Then what…" He paused and his eyes widened as panic flashed across his face. "Wait... Are you trying to 'be noble' here?"

He looked at me accusingly, and I shrugged. I _was_ trying to be noble. As much as it would pain me for us to be apart, I wanted him to achieve his dreams. Because I loved him.

"I guess so…" I finally admitted.

His face fell, turning pale, then flushed brightly and contorted with fury. He rose angrily to his feet, and his chair crashed to the ground as he shoved it away from the table.

"Well, that's just great," he spat. "You know what? Fuck you, Bella!"

For a moment, I was dumfounded, frozen in my chair with my jaw hanging open in shock by his furious tone and vehement cursing. But when he turned towards the door, I sprang to my feet as well.

"Edward, wait!" I scrabbled around the table and grabbed his arm before he could reach the door. "What the hell just happened?"

He halted, but didn't turn to look at me. He huffed once, then shoved his hands back into his hair and muttered, "Nothing that I haven't been expecting… I should have known..."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I demanded, yanking on his arm again.

He continued to grumble under his breath. My mind was whirring, trying to figure out how our conversation had deteriorated so quickly. But I felt as if I was missing something. Obviously something big. Confusion seeped into my soul, its cold insidiousness spreading quickly throughout my body.

"Edward?" I encouraged him to answer me, but my voice warbled on the single word. I hated the vulnerability that small break revealed.

My heart was sitting in my throat, and fear immobilized my entire body. It took a Herculean effort for me to tug slightly on his arm once more in an attempt to get Edward to look at me. He resisted my meager effort, his fingers fisting in his hair. When his hands finally fell to his sides, still clenched tightly into fists, his body was stiff with tension. His voice cracked with barely suppressed emotion when he finally spoke.

"You're breaking up with me, aren't you?"

I was momentarily shocked into silence. He sighed resignedly at my initial silence, and the sight of his head bowing in defeat spurred me into action.

"What? No!" I practically yelled. "Edward, why the hell would you think that I was breaking up with you?"

I tugged on his arm again—more forcefully this time—and he allowed me to turn him around slightly. He eyed me warily, suspiciously. His voice was full of disbelief when he spoke.

"You're telling me to go. What else am I supposed to think?"

I just stared at him in shock. With Edward, it was always black or white; I don't think that he even knew what gray was. But then, as I tried to figure out how he could come to _that_ conclusion, it all finally clicked…

I wasn't the only one worried about our future; he had the same doubts and fears as I did. It wasn't just me who worried that one day he wouldn't want me anymore. I now realized that he was just as worried that one day I would leave him. Our past relationship—and the negative way that it had ended—probably didn't help the situation. And although we had openly declared our love, we hadn't really discussed the future.

_Our future together_.

Of that one thing, I was absolutely sure: I could not see a future for myself without Edward in it.

I belatedly realized that I had never told him that, because I was afraid he might not want the same thing. Only now did I realize how much of a disservice I had done to us both. It was a mistake that I needed to rectify immediately. I smiled at him in what I hoped was a reassuring manner, and I reached up to place my hand on his cheek.

"No, Edward. I'm not breaking up with you," I said earnestly.

I lifted myself on my tip-toes and pressed my lips against his. Edward remained immobile—resistant—for a while, but when I pressed my tongue against his lower lip, a strangled sob escaped his chest. His arms slid around my waist and he hugged me tightly, desperately. His mouth devoured my own in a frenzied kiss.

When we finally broke for breath, he looked down at me. Confusion now touched his eyes.

"Then, what? What are you telling me?" he asked, repeating his earlier questions.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm telling you to go for your dream, Edward—to go to Harvard if that's what you really want. And I'm telling you that you won't lose me because I'll be right here waiting for you. Somehow, we'll make it work."

"How?"

I sighed. "Hell, I don't know, but we'll figure it out. We'll talk on the phone everyday. Get webcams. You'll come to see me, I'll go to see you…"

"How often?"

I shrugged. "Whenever we can. Plane tickets are expensive, so maybe once a month?"

Edward huffed. "That sucks, Isabella…"

His words were harsh, but his tone was softer, as was the expression on his face. He was finally calming down. I began to relax as well, and a real smile finally tugged at the corner of my lips. Pulling gently on his arm, I led him back to the couch. When we sat down, I grabbed his hand with my own. I turned to look at him, silently begging him to listen and understand everything that I was trying to tell him.

"I know, Edward. Believe me, I know. Being apart _will _suck. Really fucking badly. But it can't be any worse than what we've already been through, so I know that we can handle it. Yes, we will be physically separated. But emotionally?" I shook my head slightly. "Never again. I love you, and I know that you love me."

In a moment of clarity, I realized that Edward's biggest hang-up was my commitment to _our_ future. Unfortunately, there was a precedent for his concern; the last time we separated, it was because I couldn't make up my mind about what I wanted—for myself and for our relationship. I had been young and completely fucking stupid, making decisions based on how I thought others would respond to them. This situation was completely different. This time, I was making a decision based on what was best for _us_ and _our_ future. I needed him to understand that, to understand where I was coming from. My hands squeezed his slightly.

"I made a lot of mistakes five years ago with you, Edward. I spent the following four years plagued by doubts and regrets, wondering about you—where you were, or if I would ever see you again. This is different… This time I've spent a lot of time thinking about what's best, not just for me, but for you and for us. And this time, I know what's waiting for me."

I leaned forward and raised my free hand to rest on his chest, right above his heart.

"You."

His breath caught slightly, and his hand squeezed mine gently. He opened his mouth to speak, but I raised a finger to his lips to silence him.

"Let me finish…" I requested. He nodded his acquiescence.

"You're it for me, Edward," I declared.

His eyes blazed in response to my fervent words.

"Don't you know by now that I would wait for you forever?" I asked. "You have to do this… it's your dream, and I won't let you pass it up just because I can't be there with you in the first several years." I paused for a moment as I contemplated my next words. My voice was soft, but resolute, when I spoke again. "Besides, I need for you to make the best decision career-wise… Everyone knows that there's no money in academia. Someone's gonna have to support our children …"

His breath caught just before his lips twitched into a breathtakingly beautiful smile. Liquid fire spewed from his eyes. He squeezed my fingers more firmly before he raised my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles, never breaking eye contact.

"You're it for me, too, Isabella. You always have been."

He raised his hands to cup my face and slowly leaned forward until our foreheads were touching. I lost myself in the powerful emotions that were blazing from his smoldering emerald eyes. His whispered words caressed my skin a second before his lips met mine.

"It's always been you. Only you. I love you…"

Our lips met tenderly, reverently, and my breath caught at the beauty of it all—the kiss, the declaration, the future. _Our future_. All laid out before us. For several moments, we enjoyed the soft and slow exchange, savoring each brush of lips, each sensual sweep of tongues, each tender touch. I reveled in the newfound emotions, for the first time completely secure in our love. With each breath, I drank him in. With each touch, I worshipped him. But all too soon, the tender kiss turned into something much more. Once again, there was an urgency to come together. A need to consummate the promise we had just made.

In unspoken agreement, and without breaking the kiss, we rose from the couch. Just like earlier, Edward picked me up. This time, we made it to the bedroom.

As he slowly undressed me, Edward shot me an apologetic look. "I'm sorry about earlier. I know it wasn't good for you…"

I moaned softly as his fingers teased one of my nipples. My back arched off the bed as he rolled the pebbled tip between his thumb and forefinger.

"I'm going to make it up to you, Isabella. I promise…"

My moans became more insistent when his hands trailed to my waist and undid the button of my shorts. When his fingers dipped into the wetness that was waiting for him, I gasped. He moved his fingers slowly and deliberately, working my body into a frenzy. When I was writhing in pleasure, Edward finally slipped my shorts over my hips and settled between my legs.

His mouth took over for his fingers, the wet heat of his tongue pressing into my most sensitive places. I whimpered as I moved my hips in opposition to his tongue. Suddenly, his fingers joined his mouth, and when he pushed two of them inside and curled them to hit just the right spot, I simultaneously groaned and jerked my hips upwards.

"_Fuck_!" I panted.

"That good, love?" he asked. I could hear the smile in his voice.

I grunted in agreement, then gasped in pleasure when he stroked his fingers slowly inside of me. Pressure began to build in my abdomen, and I reached down to fist his hair in my hands. When I could take no more, I tugged gently.

"Come here," I ordered.

"I don't think so." Edward looked up and chastised me. "I need you to come for me, Isabella."

He pumped his fingers, once again hitting my sweet spot. My eyes rolled back in my head, and I struggled to keep my legs from clamping shut against his head and fought against my impending orgasm. I tugged at his hair again.

"I need to come _with_ you," I corrected.

At first I thought that he wouldn't comply, but then I felt the bed shift. He pulled his fingers from me, and a moment later, his weight settled on top of me. I lifted my arms to settle around his shoulders and tilted my hips towards his. My eyes drifted shut. I sucked in a ragged breath as his hard length first bumped against my sensitive flesh, and then slid easily through my wet folds. Shifting my hips so that the head of his shaft eased inside of me, I moaned in pleasure.

"Look at me, Isabella."

I opened my eyes to find his emerald irises boring into me. They were wide open—portals to his soul—and what I saw there took my breath away: overwhelming love for me. He held nothing back now, and my breath caught in a small, stuttering hitch. Without breaking eye contact, he pushed forward. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tilted my hips to meet him.

"Oh, God…" he groaned when he was finally completely sheathed within me.

My arms squeezed him tightly, savoring the feel of being with him like this, having him fill me so completely. Body and soul. Two finally becoming one in every sense of the word. It was different and new, although at the same time it was comfortable and familiar. It was perfect. As I stared back at him, I allowed everything I felt for him to blaze forth from my own eyes. The words that I had been speaking to him for the past several months took on new meaning.

"I love you, Edward. So much…"

He began to move.

"Always, Isabella. It will always be you. Only you…"

My hips moved in opposition to his, my hands clawing at his back and shoulders. He slipped an arm beneath me, lifting my backside to change the angle, and I gasped at the sensation. The tension began building in my abdomen, and within moments, I was there. So was he. As we groaned in unison, and as my body shattered around him, my eyes widened in awe. Using the word that he had always reserved for me, I confirmed that he was it for me as well.

"Always."

~/~

When we finally left the bedroom, it was rather late. After the intense emotions of the evening, neither of us had any desire to go out for dinner. Or for anything else. We ordered a pizza and settled on the couch to wait, snuggled together. I turned to look at him.

"Can we talk about it now?" I asked.

Edward nodded. His face was now significantly relaxed. I could see that worry still resided there, etched at the corners of his eyes—there were, after all, a lot of decisions to be made—but it was different now. The _fear_ was finally gone.

Over pizza and cokes, we spent several hours going through all of the literature, perusing class schedules and learning as much as we could about each city. We made pro and con lists for each school, trying to determine which would be the best fit. He still wasn't quite ready to make his final decision, but he had narrowed it down and the anxiety that surrounded the choice was definitely reduced. I smiled at our progress; we had addressed the issue head-on, as a couple. Getting to that point had been a painful process, but we had finally done it.

It was a very important—and necessary—first step.

~/~/~/~

Three weeks later, Edward graduated. I sat with his parents and sister at the ceremony and cheered just as eagerly as they did when Edward walked across the stage and collected his diploma. Alice and I cheered when Rosalie's name was called, and the whole family cheered again, several hours later, when Jasper crossed the stage as well.

In an attempt to smooth things over with Alice, I had mentioned a few weeks back that I'd like to throw a graduation party for Edward, and I had requested her help. I easily agreed to make it a joint party for both Edward and Jasper, and it quickly morphed into an event of epic proportions. I was amazed by Alice's organizational skills. She had found her calling as a party planner. I ended up not doing much, but spending time with Alice on a mutually beneficial project had definitely improved our relationship. We weren't exactly friends yet, but we had learned that we really did have quite a bit in common, and a tentative truce had been formed.

The party went off without a hitch. It was a fun time, celebrating an important accomplishment and having one last hurrah before the responsibilities of the future kicked in.

We were now mingling with the guests. Rose and Emmett were here, celebrating with both Edward and Jasper. Edward's lab partner, Seth, was here, as was his study partner, Heidi. I had been a bit intimidated by her striking beauty when I had first met her several months back, but once she introduced me to her girlfriend, Bree, all concern had flown out the window. Jasper's old friend from high school, Peter, had come all the way from Texas to visit him. His girlfriend Charlotte accompanied him. Several of Jasper's classmates were also in attendance: Laurent and his girlfriend, Irina; Garrett and his fiancée, Kate. There were many others as well, friends of Alice, Edward and Jasper, whose names I didn't catch.

Edward and I were talking with Heidi, Bree and Seth about Med school.

"So, Edward, did you finally decide?" Heidi asked. "Are you gonna be a Harvard man?"

Edward sent a small smirk in my direction before answering. "Nah… I decided to stay a little closer to home."

"Oh!" Seth exclaimed. "Did you get in here at UW?"

Seth was staying here, and there was an eager look on his face.

The smirk faded from Edward's face. "No, man, I didn't. But I knew that I probably wouldn't…"

I gave him a reassuring hug.

"So, where are you going?" Seth prodded.

"San Francisco," Edward answered.

"They've got a great medical school!" Heidi interjected. She turned to me. "Are you going with him, Bella?"

I shook my head. "No… I've still got two years of grad school to finish here." I turned to look at Edward with a smile. "But San Francisco is much closer than Boston, so it will make it much easier for us to see each other."

Bree smiled at me in understanding. "Yeah, that's not too bad…"

San Francisco was still a twelve hour drive from Seattle, so we would likely have to meet somewhere in the middle if we decided to travel by car. But… it was only a two-hour plane flight away. I could handle two hours. I glanced at Edward with a smile.

"Besides," I added, "we've still got all summer together before he leaves. We'll just have to be sure that we make the most of it."

Edward squeezed me gently in return and lowered his lips to my forehead. His voice was heavy with implication and promise.

"Yes. We will."

~/~

Later that evening, after everyone had left, Edward and I lay in bed talking. We were naked, wrapped in each other's arms. My head rested on his chest, and my fingers trailed absent designs on his upper arm.

"Did you have fun tonight, baby?" I asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, I really did. It was a great party, a fun send-off. Even though I didn't know them for very long, I'm really gonna miss some of those guys."

"Yeah…" I agreed. "It's the end of a chapter in your life. But it's also the beginning of a whole new one."

"Yes, it is," he responded, squeezing me gently. "It's the start of a whole new life for both of us."

I smiled. We were already planning for our future visits once he left for medical school. But that was still several months off, and as I mentioned earlier, we had the whole summer to concentrate on just us. My hand trailed down his chest and dipped beneath the sheet. Edward sucked in a shuddering breath as my hand found him hot and hard, ready for me.

"But first, we get to have one last summer of fun," I reminded him. I leaned up to suck on the tender flesh of his neck, leaving my lips poised right next to his ear. I pumped my hand and he groaned in response. "And you did promise that we would make the most of it…"

"We will," he affirmed.

Dislodging my hand, Edward moved swiftly to roll me on top of him. I gasped when his hard shaft pressed into my slick flesh. One small tilt of my hips and he was right there. He thrust upwards.

"Starting right now."

I gasped in response to his possession. Sex had always been good between us, but in the past few weeks—since we finally talked about our future—it had been better than ever. Without doubts and fears, we were free to express ourselves, and we no longer held anything back. As I sat above him, looking down on his beautiful face, feeling him sheathed within me, I smiled.

Knowing exactly what I was thinking, he smiled back before beginning to move. When I was panting above him, he finally spoke the words we both needed to hear.

"I love you, Isabella."

My body was tingling in anticipation, and my heart expanded with his words, as well as the fervent tone he used to deliver them. I leaned down to brush my lips across his before responding.

"You, too, Edward. I love you so much…"

With a final thrust, we both hurtled into oblivion. When our high finally subsided, I slumped to his chest. His arms surrounded me. After a moment, when our breathing finally returned to normal, his lips brushed my forehead reverently before he spoke the final word of our usual exchange.

"Always."

And though it was the same verbal exchange that we had made for the past several months, tonight it felt different. More important somehow, more significant. The unknown future was now stretched out ahead of us, and we were poised to take the first steps on that unknown road.

It wouldn't be easy; anything that was worth something never was. I knew that there _would_ be bumps in the road. That's just life. But I also knew that we would make it work. No matter the lemons that life threw our way, we would do our best to make lemonade. Together. Through thick and thin.

Always.

~/~

**

* * *

**

A/N:

Well… there you have it! The conclusion to this _Little Trip_! As a reward, I'll send a preview of the epilog to all who review! (FYI: it may take a day or two for me to respond as the epilog is with the betas right now…)

Any thoughts, questions, comments or theories about the future for this Edward and Bella? Come talk to me on the discussion thread:

http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=8488

Again, this story would never have been completed without the help of multiple people including my betas moonlightdreamer33, LaraIsAwkward and Brandy, my pre-readers, and of course, all of you who read and review! Without you, this story never would have happened—Edward and Bella would have both been miserable after the collapse of their fragile HS relationship. Special thanks to those who have reviewed every chapter and/or have left detailed reviews. The list is quite long, and I don't want to leave anyone off, so please, know that I know who you are and love each and every one of you!

Also, please remember that I am participating in the Fics 4 Nashville relief effort. I will be contributing a _Take a Little Trip_ outtake (Meet the Parents—Edward and Bella go to Forks for Easter and to meet each other's parents, officially). This outtake will be available to those who donate to F4N on June 5. It will not post at FFn until later in the summer, so if you want a sneak preview, be sure to make a $5 minimum donation to one of the suggested charities. Your donation will earn you a compilation of short fics from multiple authors. Information can be found at The TwilightAwards: http:/www(dot)thetwilightawards(dot)com/2010/05/fics-for-nashville-how-you-can-help(dot)html#nashville

I love you guys!

See you next week with the epilog.

In the meantime, here are some stories that pwn me right now:

The Cullen Campaign. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5853742/1/The_Cullen_Campaign  
AH; DemoWard and RepubBella. Hot sex and even hotter banter. I've never been this interested in politics before.

The Misapprehension of Bella Swan. http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5716060/1/  
AH; Hockeyward and Snarkella. Bella has finally embraced here hockey hooker-ness. Need I say more?

Decoy: http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5832993/1/  
AH; Twilight meets Can't Buy Me Love.


	14. Epilog: Always

**One year later**

**~/~ June ~/~**

So much had changed in the past year...

Edward and I had spent a blow-out summer last year, making the most of every last minute together. It had hurt really fucking badly to say goodbye to him in the fall, as I had known that it would, but going to medical school was his dream. And I wanted him to experience and fulfill each and every one of his dreams.

Because I loved him.

The distance had actually been helpful in some ways—without the distraction of each other, we had both been able to concentrate fully on our schoolwork. Surprisingly, the distance had also helped to strengthen our relationship; even though we were eight hundred miles apart, we managed to talk—really talk—every day. During the course of those conversations, we learned a lot about ourselves as well as what we wanted out of life and each other.

We also learned not to take a single moment together for granted. We visited each other as often as possible, but it never seemed to be enough. Whenever we found a good deal on a plane ticket, we took advantage; we alternated between him flying to Seattle to visit me, and me flying to San Francisco to visit him. But convenient plane flights weren't always affordable, or available, so we had also come to know Roseburg, Oregon quite well. The city was about half-way between Seattle and San Francisco—well, half-way, drive time-wise; Edward drove much faster than me. We had tried each and every Bed and Breakfast in the city, and being regular guests had earned us a few perks…

Edward was back in Seattle for the summer now; he had moved in with me four weeks ago, as soon as school was out for the semester. There was more than enough room for him now; Rose had moved in with Emmett at the beginning of May. They weren't engaged yet, but I knew my old roommate... She was in love, so it was only a matter of time before they got to that point.

I was busy as always—taking classes, working as a graduate assistant with Jacob, and still working almost-full-time at _The Coffee Break_ with Emmett, who I learned was not only the manager, but the owner of the store; Jasper had landed himself a 'real' job back in the fall and no longer worked with us—but it was different now. In the past, I had tried to stay busy in order to fill the void in my life. Now, I was happy. Really, truly happy.

Loving Edward, and being loved unconditionally by Edward in return, had changed me. So much. And definitely for the better. Bella the Bitter Bitch was long gone. The softer, kinder Isabella, who for years had been hidden behind an ever-changing and always-prickly façade of self-preservation, had finally emerged. I had softened over the past two years. The idea of change—of relinquishing control—used to scare the shit out of me. Now I realized that instead of protecting myself, which is what I thought I had been doing, I had actually just been holding myself back all that time. I had sequestered myself away from life and love.

Only now, with Edward, was I free to be myself. Free to be the person I was supposed to be—Isabella.

It was liberating.

I leaned back into Edward, savoring the feel of his arms, which were wrapped securely around my waist. As I settled into his embrace, I pondered the long, crazy ride that had brought us to where we were today. What started as a temporary trip to fantasyland had morphed into an epic life-changing journey. It had taken us seven years to overcome all of the roadblocks that life had thrown in our way, but we had finally made it.

We had finally found happiness together.

I sighed in absolute contentment as I tilted my head back so that I could brush my lips across his jaw. He squeezed slightly before his fingers edged under the hem of my tee-shirt. Laughing in response to his tickling touch, I allowed my head to fall back onto his shoulder. He dropped his head to brush his lips along the side of my neck—softly, suggestively—and my laughter halted, a small moan issuing forth. I reached back to cradle the back of his head, holding his lips in place. He sucked harder on my tender flesh, causing me to hiss in response.

"Careful, baby… I can't have any marks on my neck this weekend. I'm wearing my hair up, remember?" I chastised him.

I heard his soft chuckle, but his lips eased their pressure. Slightly. I sighed when his hand slid further up my shirt, teasing the underside of my breast with a fingertip. The tickling touch caused me to squirm slightly, and when he pushed beneath the lacy cup of my bra to brush across my now-hard nipple, I moaned again. Shifting behind me, Edward spread his legs and I settled in between them before he reclined further on the couch. The evidence of his arousal pressed hotly against my backside, and I arched my back so that I could grind my ass into his erection.

At my eager response, his hand became rougher, tugging my bra down and out of the way so that he could cup my entire breast and pinch my nipple. While the one hand taunted and twisted, the other pressed against my abdomen and dipped beneath the waistband of my shorts. My stomach clenched and my heart stuttered erratically as the silken tip of his finger slipped lower, teasing but not touching. Building the flame and fueling my desire, yet leaving me longing for more.

_Much more_.

I whimpered in frustration, a pathetically vulnerable little sound that revealed my combined dissatisfaction and desire. Tired of his teasing, I fisted my hands tightly in his hair and tugged—_hard_. His soft grunt of approval sounded in my ear, and his hand finally slid down to touch my tender flesh. When he lazily spread my wetness around, I groaned his name in desperation.

"_Edwaaarrrddd_…"

He chuckled, halting his motions, leaving his finger poised right at my entrance. I bucked my hips upwards, and the tip of his finger slid in. I whimpered again.

"Is this what you want, love?" he asked, pushing his finger in deeper, stroking me gently.

I gritted my teeth against the intensely pleasurable feelings. "No."

"No?" he asked, surprised.

"No," I asserted.

_It wasn't nearly enough._

His finger stopped its rhythmic motion, and I relaxed minutely.

"What do you want then?"

"You," I said simply, honestly. "I want you. _All_ of you."

"Greedy, aren't you?" he teased.

"Yes."

Edward chuckled and slowly pulled his hand from my pants. He pushed me up and somehow managed to turn me around so that I was facing him. Before I could even settle properly, his lips were on mine, urgent and demanding, and his hands were once again roaming my body. We shed our clothing quickly, and I sighed when I felt his warm, naked skin against my own. I sat up, straddling his lap, and my satisfied sigh turned into an agonized groan when he shifted his hips and his hard length slid against my slick skin.

"Does that feel good?" he asked.

He thrust his hips upwards slightly again, increasing the friction as the head of his shaft bumped deliciously against the bundle of nerves at the apex of my thighs.

"Oh fuck. _Yes_," I hissed.

Edward raised his hands to palm my breasts and leaned forward to capture one of my nipples between his lips, suckling gently. I jerked slightly when his tongue snaked out to encircle the tip, the heat of his wet mouth searing my sensitive skin. My eyes drifted shut on a shuddering sigh. Moaning throatily, I raised my hands to sink into Edward's silky hair and clasped his head to my breast, arching my back in invitation. The overwhelming sensations I experienced each and every time we were together enveloped me completely, surrounding me in a fiery embrace. I felt like I was burning alive. Burning for him…

Burning _with_ him…

I bucked my hips against his, relishing the doubly pleasurable sensations of his mouth on my breast and the head of his shaft rubbing against my overly-sensitive and swollen flesh. Reaching down between our bodies, I pressed my hand against him. His hot, hard length throbbed in my palm as I pushed him deeper between my lips and into my wetness. This time, _he_ groaned.

I leaned down to kiss him, then lifted my hips, aligning his tip against my entrance. Our eyes met and held as I slowly lowered myself onto him, my body stretching to accommodate his. He groaned softly as my body settled around him, and his eyes darkened, their emerald green hue turning black with desire. His hands dropped to my hips to hold me steady while we both sucked in ragged breaths and savored the pleasurable sensation of him filling me completely. After a moment, he encouraged me to move, and I began slow up-and-down motions, taking him deeper each time. Leaning forward, he suckled on my neck, and my arms circled around his back, pulling him closer. Our bodies rocked slowly for a minute, a slow and lazy, yet intimate, coupling. But all too soon, it was not enough, and we began to move more frantically.

Eventually, Edward fell back against the couch with a small grunt. My hands moved to his chest, where I braced myself as he began thrusting into me more forcefully. When my head fell forward, my once-again long hair formed a curtain around our faces as we stared intently at each other. I rose slightly on my knees in order to grind against him, my hips moving in opposition to his, trying to obtain the most friction possible. The flush rising up his neck and spreading across his cheeks, as well as the small grunts and groans he was making, told me that he was getting close. Clawing frantically at his chest, I groaned in frustration and desperation as what I needed eluded me.

Sensing my need, Edward shoved a hand between our bodies to press firmly against my clit, and I gasped at the strength of the sensation. I sucked my lower lip between my teeth. He traced firm, quick circles around that sensitive bundle of nerves, and the tingling sensation that signaled my release begin to build in my abdomen. My moans increased in frequency and intensity.

Edward huffed with each thrust, and the strained look on his face told me that he was holding back. For me.

"You ready, baby?" I asked.

He grunted in response, pressing harder with his finger. My eyes rolled back and I moaned loudly as rippling waves of pleasure began to lap at my insides. I dropped my head again, keeping my eyes squeezed shut as I concentrated on the sensations radiating out from the center of my being.

"Look at me, Isabella."

My eyes snapped open in response to his command, my lower body throbbing with anticipation. I loved it when he spoke my name. Especially when he was inside of me. As soon as our eyes met, he thrust up into me—hard. The combination of feeling him fill me so fully, the play of his fingers on my aching clit, and the look of absolute devotion in his eyes sent me over the edge. The wave finally crashed and my body exploded around him.

"Oh, God… Fuck!" I cried.

My legs clenched against the outside of his thighs, and my fingernails curled into his chest, scraping desperately at his skin as I rode out my orgasm. He hissed in response and increased his pace. Several short, choppy hip thrusts later, his guttural groan let me know that he, too, had found release.

I collapsed onto his chest, my head buried in his neck. We were both panting, coming down from our incredible ride. I nibbled at his collarbone, alternating between soft kisses and gentle nips. His hands rubbed soothing circles across my back and shoulders.

"So good…" I breathed into his neck.

His hands tightened around my back in a gentle squeeze, and although I couldn't see his face, I knew from past experience that he would have a sexy, satisfied smile on his lips.

~/~

Afterwards, we wandered to the bedroom and lay for hours, snuggling and touching. Happy to simply be together and enjoying this one last night before the craziness of the upcoming weekend overtook us.

Tomorrow we were headed to Forks.

That was another thing that had changed in the past year. My relationship with my parents had improved immensely. And that, too, was likely due to Edward. Or at least his influence. He had recognized my bitterness towards my family—our years of non-communication—and he had encouraged me to reach out. I had been amazed by the results. That first Christmas had just been the beginning. Over the past year, my mother had presented me with copies of each and every one of her books. I had been amazed by her writing. Although she had now branched out, I have to admit, much to my surprise, that I harbored a soft spot in my heart for her romance novels. Once I had opened my mind, simply telling my mother that I was proud of her accomplishments—something I had never done before—had revolutionized our relationship. We now talked on a regular basis, and for the first time in my life, I also considered her to be my friend.

I would be staying at their house this weekend, something else that had become a bit more common over the past year. Alice and Rose would be staying with me, while Jasper and Emmett would be staying at Edward's parent's house before the wedding.

"You ready for this weekend?" he asked.

I chuckled in response to his question. I swear… There were some times when I wondered if Edward could read minds.

"As ready as I'll ever be, I guess," I replied. "How pissed do you think they'll be that we're not showing up until tomorrow?"

Everyone else had departed for Forks this morning. We had opted to stay in Seattle for one last night since we wouldn't get to spend much time together this weekend; the bachelor and bachelorette parties were scheduled for tomorrow evening, and the rehearsal was on Friday night. Saturday was the big day, and Alice, being the paranoid pixie that she was, wanted to make sure that the guys didn't see any of us until it was time; the wedding wasn't scheduled until seven in the evening. So, this was the last opportunity that Edward and I would have to spend time alone before Saturday night, after all was said and done.

I felt him shrug behind me. "I really don't give a fuck what they think."

I laughed lightly in response. That was another thing that had changed… While my vocabulary had improved greatly, my old foul mouth had definitely rubbed off on Edward. It still made me laugh to hear curse words cross his lips.

I snuggled deeper into his arms, squeezing them with my own and trailing abstract designs on his forearms with my fingers. He sighed in contentment and kissed the top of my head. His words were spoken into my hair.

"I'm really glad that you and Alice patched things up."

"Me, too," I sighed in response.

I had been surprised by that outcome as well; despite our initial hatred of each other, Alice had become my second best friend over the past year. Once the reason behind her hatred of me had been revealed—and I had apologized—things between us had improved dramatically. After we worked together on Edward and Jasper's graduation party, and in an attempt to include her in my life outside of time spent with Edward, I had reluctantly invited her to participate in Rose and my 'girl's night ins'. Surprisingly, that had been the biggest ice breaker; once I had demonstrated a true desire to be her friend, the past transgressions from high school had been forgiven. It had taken a little while, but I honestly didn't know what I would do without her now… I loved Alice's frenetic energy, and she and Jasper had kept me company on many a lonely night this past year. Not to mention, in Edward's absence, she had been my only tangible link to him.

All of those things are why I had agreed to be her maid-of-honor this weekend.

I rolled over in order to look at Edward, reaching up to brush my hand across his cheek.

"Have I told you how much I love you today?"

He shook his head, his eyes boring into mine. I stared back, not breaking eye contact as I spoke.

"I love you. I love you so fucking much that I don't know what I would do without you. You are everything to me."

His eyes blazed at my words, his own emotions amplifying each fleck of color in their brilliant green depths.

"You're it for me, too, Isabella," his words echoed mine of more than a year ago. Then he added an additional disclaimer. "You _are_ my life now."

The tears that had been brimming in my eyes spilled over to run down my cheeks. He leaned down to kiss them away. I could taste their salty wetness when his lips settled on mine a moment later.

Our coupling this time was slow and sweet, unhurried. Hands brushed lightly, lovingly. Lips met, parted. Soft sighs and quiet moans filled the air. And when he finally settled between my legs—poised at my entrance—he looked deeply into my eyes, his own eyes revealing everything that he was feeling in that moment.

"I love you, Isabella. Always."

He finally pushed forward, entering me, filling me, sliding home. But he wasn't the only one... In his arms, our bodies joined, our souls shared, I was home too.

~/~/~/~

It was Saturday night.

The wedding had been beautiful, going off without a hitch. Of course, with Alice's meticulous preparation, and with every detail planned down to the second, I don't think that there had been time for anything to possibly go wrong. Everyone looked great, and even I, Isabella Swan, hater of all things dress-related, had been forced to admit that I loved my bridesmaid dress—it was a silvery-blue chiffon number with spaghetti straps and a loosely flowing skirt that swirled around my ankles as I walked. It had matched Alice's dress in style, and she had been the most beautiful bride that I had ever seen. Seeing her happiness as she and Jasper had exchanged wedding vows had brought a tear to my overly-cynical eye, and made me realize that this—_marriage_—was something I was definitely looking forward to.

The reception had been nice, with both Edward and I, as best man and maid of honor, giving speeches. The food had been great, the wine had been flowing and music had been rocking. The dance floor was still packed several hours later.

Edward and I were now sitting in the back of the reception hall at a table by ourselves, watching the festivities. I smiled warmly as my eyes fell upon Alice and Jasper, who were swaying gently to the music, oblivious to anything except each other. His devotion to her was obvious in the way he held her and in the way that his head would dip almost reverently in order to brush his lips across her forehead, cheeks and lips. Rose and Emmett were also dancing, though calling it 'dancing' was probably a stretch; it was more like a sexual exhibition—she was wrapped around him so tightly it looked as if they were one person. I shook my head ruefully. Some things never changed. Charlie and Renee were cutting a rug on the dance floor, which caused me to smile. I had never before seen my parents together, and happy, like that. Even Carlisle and Esme were waltzing slowly, the fact that he was dancing at all a major accomplishment.

My poor feet were killing me after all the dancing I had done in the uncomfortable strappy sandals that had a heel far higher than I was accustomed to wearing. I had kicked those shoes off as soon as we left the dance floor a few minutes ago. I moaned in appreciation when Edward pulled them up into his lap and began massaging them gently. Leaning back in my chair, I reached for my glass of wine. I took a sip and frowned when I realized the glass was now empty. I didn't remember drinking all of it.

"You want me to go get you another?" he asked, smiling.

I nodded and smiled in return.

_Yes, please_.

Edward relinquished my feet, and I groaned at the loss of his soothing touch. He chuckled at my obvious pouting, and I smiled sheepishly back at him.

"I'll be right back," he said, with a wink in my direction.

I guess that I was more tired—or quite possibly a bit more inebriated—than I realized. My eyes must have closed, and I must have drifted off for a few moments, because the next thing I knew, I felt Edward's hand on my shoulder. I glanced up as he placed the glass of wine on the table next to me and walked back around to stand in front of me. I removed my feet from the chair that he had vacated a few minutes earlier, expecting him to reclaim his seat, but he didn't. Instead, he remained standing front of me. He appeared a bit nervous, and I frowned up at him in question. He spent another moment deep in thought, then suddenly, his face cleared.

Before I realized what had happened, he was kneeling in front of me, staring at me intently. My heart began to pound. I searched his eyes frantically, and they softened, smiling. His hand reached into his back pocket, and when it emerged, my breath caught when I saw the little black box resting on his palm. One of my hands came up to cover my mouth in surprised shock, and tears began to pool in my eyes. The smile spread from his eyes to his mouth.

"I really wanted to wait until later to do this, but when I came back and saw you there, relaxed and so beautiful…" His sentence trailed off and he shrugged. "Well, I just couldn't wait a minute longer."

I continued to stare in shocked anticipation.

"Isabella Marie Swan…"

The tears started falling down my cheeks.

"I love you more than I ever imagined I could love anyone. You brought sunshine into my life the first time we met—even if it was under somewhat strained circumstances—and I have cherished every moment I have ever spent with you. You were my first love, and it hurt like hell when that didn't work out all those years ago. But I believe that there was a reason for that. Neither of us was ready then…"

I nodded in agreement.

"We both needed to grow and change first."

He looked at me, and I nodded again. We were so different from the young teens we had been seven years ago when we had first met. Hell, we were different people now than we had been just a year ago. We were both older, more mature.

_We were both ready now._

"You have always held a special place in my heart—even when we were apart all those years ago, I never stopped thinking about you. But now… Now I know that you are the most amazing person I have ever met. You're kind and caring, you put others first and don't take things for granted anymore. You have shown me more about what it means to love someone else than I ever believed that I could possibly experience. I love you, and I will _always_ love you. I know that we had talked about waiting until I graduated, but I don't want you to wait any longer. I've done some research, and I can do my clinical rotations anywhere in the country. After next year, when _you_ graduate, I will go wherever you want to go…"

Edward popped the box open, revealing a beautiful solitaire diamond ring.

"Will you marry me?"

The tears were now falling freely, and I dashed at them madly. All I could do was nod. He smiled in return.

"Yes?" he asked.

I looked into his beautiful green eyes and smiled back.

"Yes," I whispered, fervently.

Edward reached for my hand and slipped the ring on my finger before leaning forward to envelop me in a hug. He squeezed me gently before moving to brush hips lips across my cheek and finally settle on my lips. I reached up and slid my fingers through the silky auburn strands of his hair. Tugging his face more closely to my own, I returned his kiss passionately, pouring all of my love into that one gesture.

When we finally broke for air, he leaned forward to whisper into my ear. "I love you, Isabella."

"I love you, too, Edward," I whispered back. "So much."

"Always…"

~/~

**

* * *

**

A/N:

_ The End._

: )

**Disclaimer:** These characters belong to Stephenie Meyer, but I have had so much fun helping them along on this little journey of self-discovery.

Special thanks to my awesome betas, moonlightdreamer333 and LaraIsAwkward.

I can't believe that this little _Trip_ has finally reached its conclusion. This is such a bittersweet moment for me… I'm torn between pride (this story is the first multi-chap that I have completed), excitement for my next projects, and sorrow—I will truly be sorry to see these guys go. In that regard… While this story is now complete, the characters still have a few things left to say. So... I have several outtakes planned, the first of which will be available in the Fics4Nashville relief effort later this week. Information regarding how you can help (and receive a compilation of stories from over 150 talented FF authors) can be found on my profile page. I have also decided that, while I have no plans for a sequel, I **will** be looking in on these guys at some point in the future, so I have planned a future-take (kind of like a second epi, a few more years down the line). To make sure that you get notification when these extras post, keep this story on alert, or put me on author alert.

Thank you again, from the bottom of my heart, to all who have stuck with me on this one! Your reviews, comments on the discussion thread, PMs and general support mean more to me than you will ever know! I hope that I can stay in touch with each and every one of you even though this story is now done!

Last business: now that this story is over, I will be getting back to projects that have taken a back seat to this one. I also have several new fics in the works, one of which is already partially written. For anyone interested, I will be glad to share a teaser of the next new story that I plan to post, _A Marriage of Inconvenience_. Let me know…

Gees… who knew that signing off would be so hard. Man, it's hard to let this go... Sorry I can't shut up…

I love you all!

KL


	15. Outtake 1: Best Valentine's Day Ever

**A/N: **Okay guys… I told you that even though this story was over, I wasn't quite done yet…. I just love these guys (and miss them) so much…

I had a lot of requests from you all after the Valentine's Day chapter asking to see what Jasper said to Alice on to shut her up, so here it is! This will also give you a chance to get into Alice's head, to learn a little more about why she is the way that she is, because in all honesty, Alice—in all her hypocritical nastiness—wasn't planned in this story. She just kind of happened, so there is definitely a story there to be told. And once she started talking, I couldn't get her to shut up.

Hope you enjoy!

Thanks to my beta, moonlightdreamer333 who read this several times. Love you!

Disclaimer: The Twilight Saga and all its characters, situations, etc. belong to SM, but I have had a blast bastardizing sweet Alice into a vindictive bitch. No fortune-telling, shopping-addicted, Bella-loving Alice here…

* * *

**Outtake 1: Best Valentine's Day, Ever.**

**February**

**Alice POV**

For years, I've hated Valentine's Day.

Of course, that's probably because I've always been alone on that particular day. My friends always seemed to have dates, but somehow, none of my past relationships survived for me to have someone—i.e., a guy—to go out with on Valentine's Day. While I was happy for all my friends and their successful relationships, I couldn't help but feel disappointed in the fact that I had never had an official Valentine's Day date.

That was finally changing.

Tonight, I had a Valentine's Day date with Jasper Whitlock.

There was just something different about him than any other guy I had dated… Or maybe it was that there was something different about _me_ when I was with him. No matter the reason, my life had changed—and changed for the better—the day that Edward had dragged me back into that infernal coffee shop. I had immediately protested when I realized where we were going, but Edward had assured me that _she_ wasn't working that afternoon. And when my eyes met the baby blues behind the counter… Well, that was that.

One look was all that it had taken. In that moment, I had just… _known_. _He_ was the reason that I hadn't had any serious relationships before. _He_ was what I had been waiting for my whole life. As I had gazed deeply into his eyes, my world had flipped upside down, and I had gasped at the realization that he looked just as flabbergasted as I felt.

A little over one month later, I was now blissfully waiting for Jasper to pick me up for my first official Valentine's Day Date.

Edward had left a few minutes ago to go get _her_. My nose wrinkled in disgust. What he saw in Isabella fucking Swan, I really didn't know. She had already broken his heart once before… Why he would want to give her a second shot at it was beyond me. Yes, she claimed that she had changed and that she was different now, and I'll admit that she definitely looked different—with her off-the-rack, grungy clothing and her short, choppy haircut she looked pretty sorry. But I knew that deep down she was still the same spoiled, selfish, snobby bitch that she had been back in high school.

A leopard can't change its spots. Right?

I, on the other hand, had changed a lot. And not just on the outside, although as I took a final glance in the bathroom mirror, I had to admit that I was incredibly satisfied with my outside at the moment. My hair was styled in soft curls that gently framed my face, and the smoky makeup I had applied accentuated the deep green hue of my eyes. The little black Gucci dress I had purchased for this occasion fit me like a glove—hugging my torso and falling gently from my hips—and it highlighted my now-svelte figure. I had worked hard to get where I was now look-wise, and I was very proud to be able to fit into a size two. So much better than the size fourteen I sported in high school; at just under five feet tall, my weight was much more in proportion to my height now. And speaking of height, the five-inch platform heels I had donned gave the illusion of height and made my legs really pop.

My time in New York had helped to change me on the inside as well. Time and space had allowed some of the old wounds to heal. Getting away from all the negativity of Forks (and the people in Forks) had been just what I needed and had provided me the opportunity to 'find myself'. I had actually been quite upset following my father's accident; I loved New York and had no desire to return to the west coast, even if it wasn't to my home town. But family came first. And now, I realized that there was a divine purpose for my homecoming; if I hadn't come back, I never would have met Jasper.

There's always a reason for everything, even if you don't see it right away. Jasper was the silver lining to the cloud of my life. I had a hard time believing that I had just met him last month… We had fallen into a surprisingly easy—yet at the same time, passionate—relationship, and I couldn't begin to imagine my life without him.

As that thought crossed my mind, the doorbell rang. With one final glance in the mirror, I left the bathroom, hitting the lights as I hurried to the door. I yanked it open impatiently, a huge smile on my face.

"Hey!" I greeted him enthusiastically.

My hungry gaze raked lustfully down his body. He looked good. Really good. He was dressed all in black: black button-down shirt with the top two buttons undone, tight-fitting black pants that hugged his lower body in all the right places, black dress shoes. I licked my lips in longing as my eyes retraced their downward path in reverse, pausing in several places to admire his enticing bulges. When my eyes met his, he was smirking at me.

"What?" I asked suspiciously.

"Like what you see, darlin'?" he teased in his sexy, southern drawl.

God, I loved his voice. The timber alone was enough to cause heat and moisture in pool in my panties, but I wasn't ready to make him aware of that fact. Yet.

So, I rolled my eyes and teased him back.

"Maybe…"

He snorted.

"Maybe, my ass! The way you were just looking at me could start a fire…" His voice trailed off as he ogled me just as openly as I had him a moment earlier. His eyes lost their focus as they settled on the cleavage that the dress I was wearing so readily exposed. "…if you weren't already smokin' all by yourself…"

I smiled in response and did a little twirl. The bottom of my skirt flared out with the motion, and then whispered softly against my skin as it resettled against my thighs. Jasper whistled softly, and I wished desperately that the light, teasing caress of the fabric against my already aroused flesh had been caused by his hands instead.

"Like what you see, darling?" I taunted, throwing his words back at him.

"Maybe…" he drawled.

I smacked his chest gently, but before I could drop my hand or protest further, he gathered me in his arms and kissed me. Deeply. Passionately. Fire exploded in my abdomen, the flames licking out to encompass my entire being. I couldn't contain the low moan that escaped my lips. It was always like this with Jasper—a raging inferno of desire over which I had no control.

A moment later, I managed to pull my lips away from his and leaned back to look at him.

"We should go," I said softly, disappointed.

"We don't have to yet…" he murmured, leaning in to brush his lips across mine once more.

"What time's our reservation?" I asked between kisses.

He looked to his watch and waggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Not for a while…"

"In that case…"

I smiled widely. Grabbing his hand, I tugged him into my apartment and towards the bedroom.

~/~

Forty-five minutes later, we finally left the apartment. My hair and makeup weren't quite as perfect as they had been earlier, and Jasper's shirt wasn't quite as crisp, but both of us were sporting satisfied smiles. Jasper led me to his car, and helped me into the low-slung vehicle that reminded me a lot of Edward's old Camaro. After he lowered himself into the driver's seat, he turned to give me one last lingering kiss before starting the ignition and pulling into traffic.

When we pulled into the parking deck at the Seattle Center, I turned to Jasper with an astonished look.

"The Space Needle? Really?"

I had been here many times over the years; the sunset view from the observation deck was stunning, and I'm sure that it was a fabulous place to come on a date. But I had never been here on a date—only with my family. On my first date with Jasper—when we had driven past it—I told him that I had always wanted to come here with someone special. I was touched that he remembered that seemingly inconsequential conversation.

After he ushered me out of the car, he told me, "Well, darlin', I had planned for us to have some time to hang out on the observation deck for a while before dinner. You know… make all your dreams come true, but you managed to side-track me…"

"Yeah… instead, I made _your_ dreams come true…" I countered.

We both laughed before he looked to his watch and continued.

"Our reservation is at seven thirty, so we only have a few minutes, but if we hurry, we can probably make the sunset."

We entered the lobby and waited for the next elevator to the observation deck. When we finally stepped in, I reached over to grab Jasper's hand. I gave a small squeeze as I turned to look at him with a smile.

"Thank you," I told him fervently.

"No need to thank me yet, darlin'. The evening hasn't even started yet," he told me with a tender smile.

"It doesn't matter. This is already the Best Valentine's Day I've ever had. Just being with you is enough."

At my words, my heart expanded in my chest, full of all the emotions I harbored for this man. I smiled widely and tried to keep the seriousness out of my expression, tried to keep it light and fun—to not give away all that I was feeling at this moment—but somehow I think that Jasper knew exactly what I meant. He squeezed my hand in return and leaned down to brush his lips across my forehead. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply, breathing him in.

I was staring dreamily into his eyes when the elevator doors finally opened at the top. As we stepped out onto the observatory platform, I sighed in contentment and once again allowed my eyelids to drift shut. The cool breeze chilled me, but the warm rays of the setting sun warmed one side of my face and Jasper's warmth seeped into me on the other side. A carefree laugh bubbled up in my chest, and just as I was about to let it emerge, I opened eyes.

The laughter died an instant death on my lips, and an insidious darkness crept into my heart and soul at the sight with which I was met.

Edward and Bella. Kissing. Passionately.

_Fuck me._

_I did mention that I hate Valentine's Day, didn't I?_

I growled in irritation and scowled fiercely.

Jasper looked at me in surprise, and then turned his head to follow my gaze. He stiffened in response when he saw them. He glanced back to me with a look of apology on his face.

Just as I was getting ready to make some snide comment about making out in public, they pulled apart. I was disappointed to miss my opportunity to malign my one mortal enemy, but it seemed that fate was smiling on me today. As I watched, Bella somehow managed to stumble over her own fucking feet, and she fell to the ground, hard, on her hands and knees. Gasps and snickers from the people who witnessed her clumsiness filled the air surrounding us. The more they talked, the redder Bella's face turned, and the stronger the feeling of elation that bubbled up inside of me became. I held it back for as long as possible, but it was a force that would not be denied, and eventually laughter spilled out from my chest in loud and satisfying bursts. I couldn't stop it. Honestly, I didn't want to stop it; it felt really fucking good to be a witness to Isabella fucking Swan's embarrassment.

I was still laughing when she finally managed to sit up and raised her eyes to meet my gaze. She only made eye contact for a moment before allowing her gaze to drift away, down. I tilted my chin haughtily as I looked down to see blood oozing from her knees. My laughter burst forth once more.

Before I really had a chance to savor the experience, Jasper grabbed my arm and ushered me to the other side of the observation deck. It took me a few minutes to refocus on the stunning view spread out beneath me after the highly enjoyable scene I had just witnessed. When Jasper finally managed to extricate me from my inner musings, we spent the next half-hour enjoying the sunset, the warm rays kissing my face. But despite the beauty that nature provided, nothing in my eyes could ever top the beautiful sight of Isabella Swan face-planted on the ground, hands and knees bleeding.

Karma was a bitch.

And the night only got better.

When we were finally ushered to our table, I had a clear view of Bella—they were sitting at the table directly in front of us. She was downing wine like a dehydrated man downs water, and I smirked at her obvious desire to drink away her embarrassment. I watched in fascination as they experienced one problem after another. It took the waiter three tries to get their entrées correct, and then he managed to trip over Bella's purse and dump an entire tray of water glasses down her back. I laughed again in gleeful anticipation of what would happen next, because it was glaringly obvious that anything that could go wrong for them would go wrong.

Like I said, karma was a bitch!

By the time their dinner was over, it was obvious that Bella was completely miserable. That made me even more jovial. Because while Edward and Bella's night seemed to be a disaster, everything was perfect with me and Jasper. Our entrées arrived in a timely fashion with no mistakes. There was no mishap with a tray of drinks—in fact, after a few glasses of wine, the entire evening had taken on a completely magical feel for me. I was in heaven; this really was the best Valentine's Day, ever. I was on my first Valentine's Day date, at a location I had always dreamed of coming to with a boyfriend, with the guy that I was pretty sure was the love of my life. And to top it off, I was also a front row observer to the demise of Isabella Swan's pride. What more could a girl want?

Maybe one last chance to get in one last dig…

The beauty of our set up was that Edward and Bella had to walk right past our table in order to leave the restaurant. As they approached, I couldn't keep the smile off my face. It grew wider when I saw Bella frown slightly. Of course, Edward had to go and ruin my moment of triumph. Shooting me a dirty look, he spoke rather tersely.

"Alice," he acknowledged me with a tight nod.

My smile faded when I registered the fact that Bella had turned her eyes to Jasper. He appeared to feel sorry for her.

Traitor.

"Jasper, Alice…" Bella greeted stiltedly as she walked towards our table, holding Edward's hand in a death-grip. "Happy Valentine's Day."

I couldn't keep the jubilation out of my voice when I returned her greeting.

"Bye, guys… Have a good rest of the evening…"

Yeah, right. Like their night could possibly end on a good note after all that shit. I struggled to hold in my snorting laughter. As soon as they passed, I turned to Jasper and exhaled my pent-up breath in a gleeful laugh.

"Oh. My. God. That was the funniest thing I have ever seen. Best Valentine's Day, ever!"

I couldn't contain the laughter that bubbled forth from my chest in soul-cleansing bursts. I was so reveling in my own pleasure of the moment that I failed to realize at first that Jasper wasn't laughing with me. When the tears finally stopped rolling down my cheeks, I chanced a glance up at him and was shocked by what I saw.

Jasper looked pissed.

I'd never seen him upset before, and it caught me off guard.

"What?" I finally managed to ask him.

"Are you done yet?" he asked in a cold voice. I was shocked by his tone, and immediately sobered up.

"What?" I asked again, confused.

He just stared at me, searchingly, for moment then muttered something under his breath. It sounded suspiciously like "This was obviously a mistake".

"What was a mistake?" I asked nervously.

"This evening, this place, maybe even this…" he waved his hand, indicating us as a couple, "…us." His voice lowered to an almost inaudible whisper. "Falling in love…"

"What?" I whispered, horrified.

Jasper shot me a dirty look and leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms defensively over his chest.

"What the hell happened here tonight, Alice?" he asked.

I continued to stare at him in open-mouthed shock.

"What happened to the sweet, kind, beautiful woman who I fell in love with?"

I shook my head in disbelief, my heart jumping at his words. Words he hadn't spoken to me previously.

"You love me?"

He snorted. "I thought so, but now I'm not so sure. That person must be a ghost, because the only person I see sitting here with me is a vindictive, hateful bitch who enjoys the obvious discomfort of others. I have no desire to love someone like that. If I had realized that's who you really were, I never would have asked you out in the first place."

The exhilarating euphoria of just moments before was now long gone, my joy in Bella's discomfort eclipsed by my shock in my own unexpected misfortune. The delicious meal I had just eaten was now sitting heavily—guiltily—on my stomach. I shook my head in denial.

"Jasper…"

He put his hand up, indicating that I be quiet. I swallowed hard.

"Bella is my friend, Alice. I know her. I work with her. And I've seen how much she's come out of her shell in the past several months since reconnecting with Edward. I know that you have reservations about their relationship because of their past, but it's his choice, not yours. And just because you don't like the choice he's made doesn't make it right for you to take pleasure in her obviously miserable evening."

I had told Jasper the whole sordid story of Edward and Bella's past during one of our first conversations, since it was obvious to him that there was no love lost between Bella and me. But I hadn't told him the whole story, and I wasn't entirely sure if I ever would. My eyes pinched, and I opened my mouth to speak, but he held up his hand once more.

"The first time I saw you, I knew you were something special. Maybe I should have paid attention to what you were saying, to how you were treating Bella. But I was so taken with your fiery passion and flashing green eyes that I missed the obvious signs..."

I jumped in before he could stop me this time. I needed him to hear how I felt.

"The first time I saw you, I knew you were the one I had been waiting for my entire life. It was like my life could finally start, now that I had met you. I was so mad at Edward for bringing me there, but now I realize that there was a reason for us to go to the coffee shop on that day: I was meant to meet you."

I paused for a breath and frowned. "I guess I should thank him for that. I don't think I ever have."

A smile twitched at the corner of his lips. "Edward's not the one you need to thank…"

"What do you mean?" I asked, lost by his cryptic statement.

"Simply that Edward wasn't responsible for getting you to the coffee shop that day."

"Huh? He was the one who brought me there."

"At someone else's request."

Now I was really confused. "You've lost me, Jasper. What the hell are you saying?"

"That you really shouldn't hate Bella so much. If it wasn't for her, we probably wouldn't have met."

At my obviously confused expression, he chuckled. Then rolled his eyes. "Gees, Alice, I thought you were smart. The only reason that Edward brought you to the coffee shop that day is because Bella asked him to."

"What!" I exclaimed "Why would she do that?"

"Because I asked her to."

My jaw dropped.

"The first time I saw you wasn't the day that we met. It was the day that you came into the store berating Bella, back right after New Years. I knew immediately that I wanted to meet you, and I asked her for your number. She obviously didn't have it, so she went one step better and arranged a meeting."

He smiled at my discomfiture.

"So… As I see it, if you want to thank someone for our meeting, you should really thank Bella."

Somehow, I managed to close my mouth. Then, I sat there in complete, unspeaking astonishment for several moments. Eventually, my eyes narrowed.

This was all some big fucking cosmic joke, right?

What had, for the past twenty hours, been my best Valentine's Day, _ever_, had now been tarnished beyond repair. How was it even possible that Isabella Swan, the person I hated most in the world, was responsible for my new-found happiness? It disgusted me to know that she arranged my introduction to Jasper.

As much as it pained me to do so considering the wonderful time I'd had with Jasper tonight—not to mention bearing witness the glory of Bella's abject misery—I still had to admit it.

I hated Valentine's Day.

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**A/N:** So... Alice...

*sigh*

She is a contradiction in and of herself, isn't she? Hopefully this shed a little light on that night and allowed you to get a little glimpse into Alice's head. Hope you guys enjoyed!

Next outtake: Meet the Parents (Edward and Bella go to Forks for Easter and to meet each other's parents, officially), my contribution to the Fics4Nashville relief effort, will post next week.

Thank you all for reading! I love you all.

:)


	16. Outtake 2: Meet the Parents

**A/N: **It's July 21st, which means that I can finally post this outtake! This was my contribution to the Fics4Nashville flood relief effort. Thanks to all who participated-you helped raise money and awarenees for a very worthy cause!

OK... so this outtake takes place the weekend after spring break. Edward and Bella are headed to Forks together to meet their parents over the Easter weekend. And in true _Take a Little Trip _fashion, nothing goes quite as planned...

Hope you all enjoy!

Thanks to my betas moonlightdreamer333 and LaraIsAwkward

**Disclaimer**: Stephenie owns 'em. I'm just making their situation a bit more... _uncomfortable_. Ha!

* * *

**~ April ~**

**Bella**

On the Saturday morning following spring break, Edward and I were once again in the car, taking another road trip. I was a bit nervous about this particular voyage, yet when I considered all the shit that had gone down over the past week… Yeah, visiting our families for Easter weekend would surely be a breeze compared to the hell that we had endured—and luckily survived—over spring break. And now that I had finally put some of the old ghosts with Edward and Alice to rest, I reasoned that it was time to do the same with my own family. To face my demons, per se.

My inner musings were interrupted by Edward's question.

"What'd you tell your parents?"

This was a spur of the moment trip for me. While Edward had been planning to go home for the weekend, I hadn't been; I had planned to stay in Seattle, go to church with Rose on Sunday morning, and then spend the rest of the day taking it easy. On my couch. In my apartment. Alone. Until last night when Edward asked me to come home with him so that he could 'officially' introduce me to his parents as his girlfriend.

_How could I say 'no' to that?_

I shrugged in response to his question. "Not much. I just told them that I was coming home for Easter. They were so shocked that they didn't think to ask why."

I chuckled at the thought. I hadn't been home in over two years, and I had a feeling that this weekend would be full of surprises. I just hoped that they were all pleasant.

"Do you think it's a good idea to just spring me on them?" he asked, somewhat nervously.

I laughed. "It's a bit late to worry about that now, don't you think?"

Edward's lips quirked into a rueful smile. "I guess so…"

I grabbed his hand and gave a gentle squeeze. "Don't worry, baby. The deck's already stacked in your favor; my dad admires your father immensely, and my mother used your mom's firm when they redecorated the house a few years back. She really liked your mom."

That was the thing about small towns—everyone knew everyone else. I suspected that my parents would be relieved that I was seeing someone 'local', someone whose family they knew. His family, on the other hand, might be a different story. That thought sobered me.

"What do you think your parents will think of me?" I asked quietly. I turned to look at Edward. "Do they remember our… past?"

His eyes pinched in concern. "Well, they'll probably remember that I tutored you, and since you came over quite a bit during those few months that summer, Alice talked about you, too. I'm sure that my mother will remember that…"

At least most of my visits to the Cullen household that summer had occurred while neither of his parents had been at home.

I sighed. "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

He shrugged noncommittally.

I suspected the latter. But as I had just told him, it was a bit too late to worry about that now. I only hoped that Alice would be pleasant—she and Jasper would also be in Forks.

Several hours later, we pulled up in front of my parent's house. Edward hopped out of the car in order to retrieve my bags from the back, but I sat immobile in the passenger seat, absently twisting my hands in my lap and starting at my childhood home. I was still sitting there—and still staring—when the front door opened and my mother stepped onto the porch. Her eyes pinched in a frown when she took in the unfamiliar SUV that was parked in the driveway, so I quickly got out and began walking in her direction.

"Bella!"

She greeted me pleasantly enough, but I could see the questions in her eyes as they roved over my form, taking in all the changes since our last visit. My hair was getting longer again, and I know that I had filled out a bit. I also suspected that I looked… well… _happy_. That was likely the biggest change.

"Hey, Mom," I returned cautiously as I reached her.

After enveloping me in an awkward hug, her eyes slid to the back of the car. "I didn't realize you were bringing someone with you…"

I rolled my eyes. "I didn't. Well… not really. Edward will be staying at his parent's house," I replied.

My mother eyed him suspiciously "Edward?"

"Edward Cullen," I prompted.

At that moment, Edward stepped back from the trunk of the car, my bag in his hand. I watched as recognition lit her eyes.

"Hey, Mrs. Swan," Edward greeted with a nervous smile and a little wave.

Although she now recognized him, she looked baffled. I sighed. Despite what I had told Edward earlier, I _was_ a bit nervous. Just not for the same reasons that he might be. No, I was nervous about admitting any sort of relationship to my parents; I hadn't mentioned that I was seeing someone for the past several months, nor the fact that it was someone whom they knew. I took a calming breath before I spoke.

"Edward and I are dating, Mom."

Renee's eyes widened momentarily, then a smile broke on her lips. She turned to Edward with a conspiratorial wink. "Well, then… he'll just have to stay for dinner so that we can get to know him a little better, won't he?"

~/~

Unexpectedly, dinner—as well as the several hours of _visiting_ prior to the meal—turned out to be an easy and comfortable affair. I was quite relieved to find that Christmas had not been a fluke; talking with my parents was not the hardship I remembered it to be. Edward conversed easily with both my parents as well, much to my surprise. While my mother and I cooked dinner, he kept my father company in the den discussing sports, college, and his family. The meal passed quickly, filled with conversation about our classes at school, life in Seattle, and the inevitable small-town gossip. The only moment of awkwardness came when my mother asked him what he planned to do after graduation; _that_ subject was causing us both quite a bit of worry, although—or maybe more aptly, because—we hadn't really talked about it yet. He tensed up, but after simply mentioning medical school, he quickly diverted any further questions by asking my mother about her newest book. It turns out that she was attempting to break away from the romance genre, and her next novel would be a murder mystery.

Before I was ready to say goodbye, it was time for him to head home—he had spent the whole afternoon and evening with my family, and he hadn't seen his own parents yet. Even though we had spent the entire previous week together, I wasn't quite ready to let him go. So, I walked him to the car, where I did my best to prevent him from leaving by climbing onto his lap and kissing him senseless. I may have also copped a feel. And quite possibly performed a quick blow job. In a car parked in front of the police Chief's house, no less.

But I plead the fifth…

My mother smiled indulgently—_knowingly_—at me when I reentered the house twenty minutes later. I tried to act nonchalant, but I was mortified when she quietly suggested that I make a quick trip to the bathroom before my father saw me. Heat bloomed on my cheeks when I took in my disheveled appearance.

So much for protecting myself against self-incrimination…

Wanting to avoid both of my parents by this point, I quietly snuck back into the kitchen where I set a kettle on the stove and began gathering the ingredients for a cup of tea. As I waited for the water to boil, my thoughts drifted back to the clandestine moment in the car. A sly smile twitched at the corner of my lips as I recalled the way that Edward couldn't relax, even in what should have been a _very relaxing_ moment, if you know what I mean. Instead, he had stared intently at the front door the entire time, as if he was waiting for Charlie to come barreling out, shotgun in hand. I laughed softly in remembrance.

"So, you guys are pretty serious, huh?"

My mother's voice, when it sounded from behind, startled me out of my reflections. I whipped around to find her propped against the doorjamb, eyeing me speculatively. A suspicious-looking twinkle lit her eyes, and my already hot cheeks flushed even brighter.

I nodded warily.

"How long have you been dating?" she inquired.

I shrugged. "A few months…"

She looked at me intently, as if she didn't believe my answer. Grabbing my mug, I walked to the table and sat down. I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conversation with my mother, but I knew there was no way to avoid it.

"We were friends for a while first."

Her face relaxed into a smile as she took the seat across from me. "That's good… It's important to be friends first."

I sighed. "Well… we didn't really have a choice."

Her eyes quirked in question again.

"He was in my Shakespeare class last fall."

"As a student?" she asked.

"Yeah." I settled into my chair, cupping the mug of tea in my hands. I looked up to meet her inquiring gaze. "Ironic, isn't it? When he was my tutor in high school, we kept our… association… undercover. And four years later, when I was his TA, we had to do the same thing—just for different purposes. Funny how the tables turn…"

Renee sighed. "That's life, sweetie. It's always changing, always looking to throw you for a loop. But wait…" She cocked her head to the side in contemplation. "I don't remember you hanging out with Edward back in high school…"

I shrugged. "Not many people do; I kind of kept it a secret…"

"What? Why would you do that?"

"We were both different then…" I looked down at my mug and whispered, "…and I was embarrassed."

"About what?"

I shrugged again. "None of my friends would have understood…"

My voice trailed off. I hoped that my mother would understand because I didn't want to explain how superficial I had been back then. Of course, it was too much to hope for, and she continued to look at me inquiringly. I huffed in frustration before my eyes snapped to hers.

"He was a geek in high school, Mom. And I wasn't."

Again, I hoped that answer would be enough. But the blank look in her eyes told me that it wasn't. I sighed and took a deep, calming breath.

"Everyone expected me to be with someone popular, someone like Mike. The problem was that Mike was a complete jerk. Edward was nice, funny, and he got _me_. He saw the person beneath the façade, even way back then…"

"You seemed so happy after you broke up with Mike. I just thought that you were glad to be on your own." She paused for a moment. "But that wasn't it, was it? It was _Edward_ that made you happy."

It was a statement, not a question, so I just nodded.

"Then something happened, didn't it? Over the summer?"

I nodded again. So did she.

"You became so quiet, so pensive. And once school started again, you reverted back to that angry teenager."

I pushed my hands into my hair with another disgruntled sigh. "Yeah… Even though he overlooked my faults, I couldn't—no, _wouldn't_—do the same. So he moved on. To someone who would. I couldn't blame him; he deserved better than me."

"Oh, honey…" Renee lamented.

"No, Mom, it's okay. Really, it _was_ my fault. It was a hard lesson learned, but one I'll never forget; I'll never take someone for granted like that again. Especially Edward. I just worry that he hasn't forgotten, that one day he'll wake up and realize that this isn't worth it—that _I'm_ not worth the hassle."

It was the same fear that I had voiced to Rosalie just a few days ago, and Renee's response was almost identical. She stood up from the table and walked around to gather me into a hug. A shaky breath escaped my lips as my arms encircled her lightly. The soothing strokes of her hands on my hair helped to calm my shuddering exhalations.

"Oh, Bella… I can't promise you anything about the future, or how it will all work out, but the way he looks at you is… Well, it's obvious that he loves you. And the way you look at him… I've never seen you like this before—this… _happy_. You glow when you are with him."

She pulled back and smiled at me, then continued. "There's just something about the way that you two move when you're together. I can't explain it, but it's like you're connected or something, like you are an extension of him, and vice versa. I write about that stuff all the time in my books, but I've never actually seen it in action. I never really believed all of the relationship magic I write about until right now."

I squeezed her hand gently and smiled in return, a bit shocked—but incredibly comforted—by her take on our relationship.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, sweetie. That's what moms are for."

~/~

As I was crawling into bed several hours later, my phone buzzed. I flipped it open to find a text from Edward.

_Love you_

I smiled and immediately began typing my response.

_So much…_

Almost as soon as I hit the send button, it was buzzing again.

_Always_

Although I expected to toss and turn, I fell asleep quickly, my phone cradled to my chest and a wide smile on my face.

~/~/~/~/~

The next afternoon, I found myself back in a once-familiar place: the Cullen's house. It was Easter Sunday, and I had just attended church with Edward and his family. It hadn't been nearly as awkward as I might have feared. There were two churches in Forks. Thankfully, his parents attended the small non-denominational congregation; Angela's father was the minister at the other. His parents had greeted me warmly when we joined them in the sanctuary, and even Alice had smiled at me briefly.

When the service was over, we all headed back to their house. As Edward ushered me through the foyer and towards the living area, my gaze roved around, taking in everything, spotting the changes almost immediately. A wheelchair ramp had been installed leading up to the front door, furniture had been rearranged, and a few interior doorways had been widened in order to accommodate Dr. Cullen.

I stumbled awkwardly when my eyes fell on the door that led to Edward's piano room. Against my will, my feet carried me to the door, and my breath caught when I glanced inside. _That_ hadn't changed at all; even though it had been five years since our first afternoon here, I still remembered everything from that day with perfect clarity. The piano, the kiss, the first… I squeezed his hand gently, and Edward smiled down at me in return, the pensive look on his face alerting me to the fact that _he_ remembered, too.

By the time we finally made it through to the kitchen, Edward's mother was already busy, bustling around working on the meal. Edward's father was seated at the table, reading the newspaper. Alice and Jasper were nowhere to be seen.

"Hey, kids," she greeted.

Edward walked around the counter to give her a gentle hug and kiss the top of her head. I smiled at the easy familiarity—and comfort—between mother and son. Wanting to be a part of it, I offered my assistance.

"Is there anything I can do to help, Mrs. Cullen?"

She turned to me with a wide smile. "Oh, no, honey. You're the guest. And please, call me Esme."

I nodded in return.

She turned to Edward. "It'll be an hour or so until we're ready, so why don't you two find something fun to do. Alice and Jasper are downstairs, I think…"

"Are you sure?" Edward asked.

Esme swatted Edward playfully on the arm. "Oh yeah, I'm definitely sure. I know how much you hate the kitchen. And, unfortunately, the kitchen hates you just as much."

I snorted when Edward flushed slightly; he _was_ a disaster in the kitchen. He turned to me with a scowl.

"Are you mocking me, Isabella?

I smirked in response but answered bravely, "Yes. Yes, I believe I am."

"That's not the smartest decision," he warned.

"Maybe not where your ego is concerned, but it _is_ for the best…" I turned to Esme with a smile. "Believe me, I am quite aware of your son's antagonistic relationship with the kitchen. Don't worry… I'll do all I can to keep him clear of the kitchen for as long as you need."

Esme's tinkling laugh filled the room. "Oh, Edward, I like her…"

"You like anyone who gives me a hard time," he grumbled, but a small smile twitched at the corner of his lips.

"Guilty as charged," she declared. "You need someone to balance all that know-it-all attitude of yours." Turning to me, she added, "Don't let him intimidate you, Bella. Now, go on you two…"

She shooed us out of the kitchen and we wandered towards the back of the house where he led me down a staircase. On my previous visits to his house, we had spent all of our time either in the piano room or in his bedroom; therefore, I was unfamiliar with the large entertainment room that Edward ushered me into a few moments later. It contained a big-screen TV, a collection of comfy couches and chairs, a ping pong table, and a pool table. I eyed the latter suspiciously. Sensing my glare, Edward chuckled lightly. I raised my eyebrows in a questioning quirk.

Leaning in to whisper in my ear, Edward answered my silent question. "No, it wasn't this one."

I relaxed at his admission and turned to look at Alice and Jasper, who were seated on one of the couches in front of the TV. They were playing a video game and were involved in some sort of laughing argument—Alice was accusing Jasper of cheating while he poked playfully at her sides with his fingers. I tilted my head at Alice in another silent question.

"Just don't tell Alice…"

I joined his quiet laugh as we walked towards the pool table, happy to be in on the joke.

I loved playing pool; Rose and I played quite a bit at the University Center at school, and I knew that I was a decent shot. Not only that, but pool could be incredibly sensual. A sly smile stretched my lips. Stroking the table reverently, I picked up the wooden triangle and began expertly racking the balls. And when I picked up the cue, running my hand up and down the shaft in a suggestive manner, the gleam in Edward's eye turned feral. He stepped behind me, his hands falling to rest my hips. His hot breath whispered seductively across the shell of my ear.

"Although, if you're up for it…"

I whimpered in longing as his words burned an unforgettable image in my brain; sex on a pool table was one of my fantasies.

He stepped forward, and the evidence of his arousal pressed insistently into my backside. My eyelids drifted shut and my fingers curled around the edge of the table as I struggled not to grind against him—Alice and Jasper _were_ in the room. But when he leaned forward to brush his lips across the sensitive skin beneath my ear, I couldn't contain the desperate-sounding moan that escaped my lips.

Unfortunately, that one tell-tale sound was louder than I intended, and the room was suddenly doused in silence. I opened my eyes to find both Jasper and Alice staring at me—Jasper was smirking, Alice looked horrified; her eyes darted between me, Edward, and the table. I dropped my head and groaned, feeling incriminating heat blossoming on my cheeks. Edward kissed my neck one last time before he released me with a knowing chuckle and took a step back. The video game noise resumed.

When I finally opened my eyes, I found that Edward had grabbed the stick from where I had dropped it on the table, and he was now lining up to break. But before he took his shot, he looked up at me and winked. Although the gesture was teasing, the look on his face assured me that _he_ was not.

"Some other time..."

It wasn't a question.

I whimpered in undisguised longing and shifted uncomfortably when I felt a surge of moisture in my panties. He was staring at me expectantly, so I just nodded. As soon as I indicated my assent, he pulled back and stroked the cue.

~/~

An hour later, Edward and I were finishing our third game. We were pretty decently matched. He had won the first game. Barely. I had decided to make the second game a bit more interesting, and I had bet him a blow job that I would win. Edward had been none too pleased to lose that bet. So now, in the tie-breaking game, he had upped the ante: anytime, anyplace, anyhow…

"Three ball, corner pocket," I called.

I lined up my shot, but just before I struck the cue, Edward sidled up behind me and ran his hand up the back of my leg and cupped my ass, giving it a little squeeze.

My shot went wide.

"Hey…" I shot a scowl in his direction. "That's cheating!"

He fucking smirked at me. "If you can't take the heat…"

While I pouted, Edward dropped his last striped ball and called the eight.

"Eight-ball, back across, side pocket …"

I wasn't about to let him off the hook easily; turn-about is fair play. So I sidled up behind him and ran my hand across his hip. Unfortunately, my attempt at distraction was not as effective as his had been, and when the eight ball dropped—in the correct pocket, following the indicated rail play—I huffed in consternation.

Turning around, Edward captured my lips with his own, at the same time reaching up to fondle my breast. I jerked away.

"Edward…" I warned, my eyes darting to the couch.

It was empty.

"They headed upstairs about ten minutes ago," he told me between kisses. "We're all alone now…"

He turned me around so that I was facing the table again, just like earlier. The hard heat of his arousal brushed my backside, intensifying the desire that had pooled at my center, and I groaned slightly as his lips found the back of my neck once more. Warm fingers snaked beneath the edge of my shirt and slid upwards to palm my aching breasts. I groaned again, and reached around to cup the bulge in his pants…

"Hey, guys… Lunch is almost ready."

I jerked away from Edward at the intrusion—his father was calling from the top of the stairs. I sighed in frustration. He chuckled.

"Don't worry, Isabella… One day, I _will_ get you on my pool table."

Moisture surged between my legs once again at the suggestive tone of his voice. I bit my lip in longing, and I might have whimpered a little. Edward chuckled again.

"C'mon…" he called, taking a step back and grabbing my hand to lead me upstairs.

When we reached the top, I turned to him with a disgruntled look. Shifting a bit at the uncomfortable wetness in my underwear, I spoke.

"Um… I need to make a stop in the bathroom first..."

Edward led me up another set of stairs into the second floor living area. I should have been aware of the sounds coming from behind the door when he opened it for me, but with all of my attention focused on the door to the right—his _bedroom_ door—I wasn't paying attention to where we were actually going. I walked into the room… and right into one of my worst 'I have never' nightmares.

A deep guttural groan resonated throughout the room, followed by some dirty talk.

"Fuck yeah, darlin'… just like that… damn girl, you are one perverted little pixie…"

Several things happened simultaneously.

First, I gasped as my eyes took in the scene in front of me—Jasper leaning back against the vanity, pants at his ankles, Alice on her knees in front of him.

Second, at the sound of my indrawn breath, Jasper opened his eyes and jerked back slightly, his hands tightening on Alice's shoulders, which suddenly tensed.

Third, Edward bumped into me from behind, pushing me further into the room.

I was beyond shocked, but I didn't think it could get any worse.

Then the conversations started…

Jasper grunted, then cursed. "Fuck, Alice! Watch the damn teeth, darlin'."

"What the hell…" Edward grumbled.

I just groaned. "Oh. My. God."

Closing my eyes, I begged for it all to be over. Luckily, Edward recovered quicker than I did, and he turned on his heel in order to hightail it out of the room. Thankfully, he yanked on my arm, hauling me with him. We proceeded directly down the stairs, needing to get as far away from the bathroom as quickly as possible.

Lunch could have been awkward, and there was definitely an uncomfortable undercurrent emanating from Alice—after what Edward and I had just walked in on… I glanced once more in her direction, and I smirked when her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. But my grin quickly faded as I recalled how I had felt when she had walked in on us a few months back. The next time we made eye contact, I sent a small, reassuring smile her way.

Like the night before, it was a pleasant meal with easy conversation. Esme admitted that she remembered me, but only vaguely as a girl that Edward had tutored in high school. I had never met Edward's father before, and I found Dr. Cullen fascinating. Even in a wheelchair, he was a dynamic, authoritative figure. He was quite witty, and I found myself chuckling at his subtle jokes and dry sense of humor. He talked a little bit about his job, and it was obvious how much Edward respected and admired his father both personally and professionally; he clearly wanted to follow in his father's footsteps by going to medical school.

We spent several hours visiting with his family, and when the time came to pack up in order to return to Seattle, I was actually disappointed to be leaving Forks. That was definitely a first.

"Well… I think that all went quite well," Edward commented as we pulled onto the road.

"Yeah, it did," I agreed as I reached out to clasp his hand in my own. "Really well."

He smiled in return. "So, Forks wasn't as bad as you remembered it?"

A surprised smile quirked at the corners of my lips, and I was slightly astounded my by easy answer. "No… it really wasn't."

His hand squeezed mine gently.

So much had changed since I had last visited, most notably me. Of course, we still had a million more hurdles to jump in our relationship—most importantly, Edward's medical school decision—but having cleared yet another one felt good.

Really good.

The trip back to Seattle was much more relaxed than the trip home to Forks had been. Although as I thought back upon the afternoon, the uncomfortable throbbing that reemerged between my legs reminded me of our unfinished business. I shifted uncomfortably, my underwear once again becoming damp. About an hour outside of Seattle, I turned to Edward with a sly smile.

"So… Did you know that sex on a pool table is one of my fantasies?"

His head snapped in my direction, eyes flaring, and he sucked in a ragged breath. He shook his head.

"Well it is. So it really wasn't nice to tease me like that," I drawled.

Closing my eyes, I pictured the scene in my head and decided to tease him in return. "The way you felt behind me… I can imagine it now… me bent over the table as you take me from behind, the felt caressing my cheek with each thrust, the smell of the leather and chalk…"

I heard Edward's small gasp and smiled.

"Or maybe I'd lie on my back, with my legs wrapped around your waist—the height would be just right. I bet you'd like the way I would look, spread out on the table, wouldn't you?"

His strangled whisper was barely audible.

"_Yes_."

I peeked through my lowered lids; his hands were fisted tightly on the steering wheel, his eyes staring intently at the road. My gaze dropped to the bulge in his pants, and I smiled again. I was enjoying his obvious discomfort—it made my own a bit more bearable. I closed my eyes again, and had just opened my mouth to describe another scenario when I felt the car slowing down.

My eyes snapped open as we turned off the main road onto a small dirt track. "What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything, just kept driving until we eventually emerged in a small deserted clearing. Shutting off the ignition, he slammed his seat back and turned to me, fumbling with the seatbelt buckles. When he finally freed the clasps, he yanked me over the console to settle on his lap.

"I know it's not a pool table, Isabella, but I can't wait any longer… Besides, I won the bet: anytime, anywhere, right?"

I nodded.

"We have yet to christen my car…" he drawled.

I tilted my head as I studied him.

"No, we haven't," I agreed as I shifted my hips.

His eyes flashed and his breath caught when I slid against him again. I laughed lightly.

"But I think that we can change that. Right now."

His lips crashed to mine, and for quite some time, the only noise detectable were the sounds of rustling fabric, heavy breathing, skin sliding against skin, and satisfied pants and groans.

It was really late by the time we finally arrived at my apartment in Seattle, but I couldn't complain. Thinking back to our impromptu 'anytime, anywhere' session in the car, I smiled in complete satisfaction. Yeah… that particular delay had definitely been worth it.

But it was more than just that encounter that left me with a surprising sense of contentment… I had faced my demons head-on, and despite my initial worries—and a few uncomfortable bumps along the road—I had come out relatively unscathed.

All-in-all, it had been a very successful weekend.

* * *

**A/N:** Hope you enjoyed another little glimpse into the lives of this Edward and Bella!

As of now, this is the last planned outtake of past events in this story (although I might be convinced to change my mind and telly you a little about Emmett and Rose, if you so desire... let me know!).

That said, as I mentioned previously, I am still planning to peek in on these guys sometime in the future. I've had several requests/questions, so what I can tell you now is that it will probably be 5-7yrs into their future when we visit this Edward and Bella again. Outtake is already planned in my head, so hopefully I will get it written and posted sometime really soon.

In the meantime, I am working on a new fic, and not the one I mentioned earlier... Yeah, a plot bunny kidnapped me and took over my life! This one is different - in many ways - and I am really excited about it. Not to mention, I am already 4 chapters in! When ch5 goes to beta, I will start posting. I am more than willing to offer a glimpse/summary to anyone who is interested...

Hope to see you guys again, soon!

:)

KL


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